Today is Thursday and I'm convinced Sasha's about to pass out. She's been running herself in circles doing a million different things. She's trying to make space for too many things and people right now and it's driving her crazy.

It's like she doesn't even have time to properly digest anything before the next thing happens. She looks exhausted now as we drive to her house, she promised me we could hang out this afternoon because it's the only free time she's had aside from lunches together.

She had a long physio session on Tuesday, followed by a trip to the gym. She had a morning practice that day and this morning as well, she's got school work, her family therapy sessions, I know all of this stuff with Micheal is weighing in the back of her mind and I know she wants to spend time with me on top of all of her other practices.

We haven't seen each other much and I know it bothers her and me. But I know, at the end of the day, that she's doing the right thing. Monday night when I saw her on the ice, I knew she was happy to be back. Sasha was amazing, hadn't lost her touch at all and she looked so excited when I watched her skate.

She told me she'd given Kate and Johnathan her half-scribbled-down routine and they tweaked it slightly. Now it was amazing, as Sasha claimed and for the first time she was pushing herself because she wanted to, not because someone was forcing her to.

I look over and see her start to nod off a bit as I drive up her street. "Baby." I say quietly, and she nods. "Do you want me to just let you go in and sleep?"

"No." She mumbles, opening her eyes. "Come in with me, I want you near me."

She always made me smile. When she was half-asleep she'd say the cutest things to me, they were vulnerable and let me know how much she really loved me.

"If you're sure." I say and she nods.

"I want to talk to you, I haven't been able to spend much time with you this week." She says quietly and I nod. I open my door and walk around to her side, I pick her up and her arms and legs wrap around me. I just smile and lock my car, walking up to her house.

"My key's in my back pocket." She whispers. "You can put me down if it's easier."

"Don't be ridiculous." I tell her and she laughs. I fish it out of her pocket and unlock her house, closing the door behind us. I take her upstairs and bring her to her room, laying her down on her bed. I walk back and close her door, pulling off my shoes and jacket.

"Nathan." She says quietly and I turn back. "Come back." I laugh and throw my backpack off to one side of her room, as she kicks off her own shoes and tosses her bag away with her jacket.

I slide into bed next to her and she shuffles over, pulling me closer. I slide my fingers into her hair and she rests a hand under my shirt on my bare chest.

"Is everything alright?" I ask quietly and she nods.

"Yeah, I just want to be near you." She says quietly. "I want you to know that......skating isn't making me miserable, incase that's what you were thinking."

"I was wondering about that." I admit sheepishly and she smiles.

"To be honest, I missed it." She says quietly and I nod. "It's part of who I am, and now that dad's not bringing me down....it's amazing. What's making me miserable is that it's eating up all the free time I could be spending with you." I run my hands over her back and kiss her forehead, taking that in.

"I know it's no fun." I tell her and she nods. "But it just makes the time we can get together really special. This is something we probably took for granted a lot." I remind her, gesturing to our position in bed. "Sasha you going after what you want doesn't make me love you any less."

"God, how did I get so lucky to have you?" She asks as a tear runs over her cheek. "I can't believe you don't get mad or upset about any of this-"

"How would that help anything?" I ask quietly. "It would just make both of us upset. Sasha how much free time you have is out of your control. All I can do is enjoy the time I do get with you." I reach my hand out and wipe the tears away. "I'm never going to stop wanting to spend time with you."

"I love you." She breathes, kissing the underside of my jaw.

"I love you too." I whisper kissing her forehead. "So much." She buries her face in my chest and I continue to run my hands over her back. "Sash, I think you're just tired. Why don't you get some rest?"

"No." She sniffles, taking a deep breath. "Please, just ask me something, talk to me."

"I really think-"

"Nathan please." She whispers and I sigh, not knowing which option was worse at this point.

"Well my game this weekend, it determines whether we move on to regionals." I say quietly. "As scary as your brothers are, they're pretty decent co-captains. They lead our team well and they're really gifted themselves."

"So you're feeling good about it then?" She asks. "You know the game?"

"I don't know." I tell her honestly. "I know we're good but the team we're playing against is pretty good too."

"I'm sure you'll be great." She whispers and I smile.

"C-can I talk to you about something?" I ask and she nods. "I just wanted to know how your family thing went on Monday. I know you said it was fine but.....I just wanted to know how it really went."

She sighs and shrugs her shoulders, followed by giving me a good squeeze. "It was awkward." She answers. "I don't think anyone really wanted to talk about anything. But eventually it was just a lot of tears and some yelling. Our family has some issues that's for sure."

"But do you think it went well?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeah." She says quietly. "But I know this is a long winding road, we won't be fixed instantly and there's a chance we'll never be completely happy with each other again. But it was....constructive. Everybody got to say what they were really feeling, and because the therapist was there it didn't get out of control."

"That's good Sash, I'm happy for you." I tell her and she smiles.

"They said they want me, Alex and Nik to come in on our own too. Sort ourselves out." She says and then she groans rolling her face into my chest. "But I just don't know if I have time for that."

I nod, running my fingers through her hair and trying to calm her down. I know Sasha probably felt pressure now more than ever not to let anybody down.

"I know it's not my place but, your mental health.....should come first." I tell her and she nods.

"I'll just have to see where I can squeeze it in." She says confidently.

It worried me that Sasha was spreading herself too thin, taking on a crazy amount of things, people and commitments. I wanted her to be happy and secure, she was the most important person in my life, and I wanted to keep her smiling.

"Alright." I whisper and she nods.

She gives me a quiet kiss that I gladly accept, and after she pulls back she gives me a small smile and just pulls me in for a longer one. She ends up rolling on top of me and I laugh sitting up with her.

"I know we said Saturday......" She whispers, kissing the space under my ear. "But mom and dad won't be home for a few hours, Nik's out with Grace and Alex is supposed to be somewhere with his friends. We're alone."

The second she says that I feel my heart beat faster, feel it ringing in my ears. My jeans suddenly feel incredibly tight, I reach behind me and pull off my shirt and she smiles, pressing her lips together. She runs her hands down the front of my chest and I start breathing faster.

In the back of my mind all I could hear was something telling me this was wrong. That Sasha was worn out and probably wasn't making a good decision. I couldn't let this go any further.....could I?

Just now I hear Sasha sigh and I feel my rational thoughts go blank. We were passing the point of no return and I couldn't stop myself. I wanted Sasha, she was beautiful and I loved her.

I pull off her own top and start planting kisses down her collarbone. She squirms around and smiles, pressing her hands over my back. I get to her bra and simply pull the cups down, exposing her breasts. She almost looks surprised, but I smile and take them into my hands. She gasps a bit and presses her lips back to mine.

"Nathan." She whispers quietly and I nearly lose it right then and there. I move down her body, taking each of her breasts into my mouth and hearing a soft moan each time.

I fully undo her bra now and flip us over, with her under me. I undo her pants pulling them down her legs, leaving her in her underwear. I go back to my belt and pants, undoing them and pulling them down.

"Are you sure?" I ask quietly and she nods. She then hooks her fingers under the waistband of her underwear, and pulls them down. Sasha's confidence never ceased to leave me speechless. I wanted her so badly it was starting to hurt.

I move to the waistband of my boxers and she sighs, giving me a nod. I slowly pull them down, knowing I didn't want to overwhelm her. Her cheeks turn a bit pink and I smile, tossing them away and crawling back over her.

This was really happening, we were going to do this.

"Beautiful." I whisper, pressing my lips to the heart-shaped spot on her stomach.

Just when I start to think about how to go through this situation, I suddenly realized something incredibly important.

"Shit, baby?" I say and she looks at me.

"What is it? I told you I'm sure, I love you." She says and I press my lips together.

"No it's not that." I say quietly. "I......I don't have protection."

"Oh." She says with a nod and sits up. "Right.....I guess there was a reason why we were planning it."

"I'm sorry." I whisper, pulling her into my lap. She shakes her head and smiles kissing my cheek.

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have pushed it." She whispers.

"This probably wasn't the best idea anyway." I remind her and she sighs.

"Saturday then?" She asks and I laugh with a nod.

"If that's what you want." I tell her and she laughs, pulling us down to lay together.

"Thanks for coming over today." She whispers and I nod. "I miss seeing you all the time, but it just makes me want you more when we're together."

"If you're ever feeling really alone you can call me." I tell her, cupping the side of her face in my hand. "No matter what."

"I know that." She says quietly. "I'll probably call you at some point." I nod at that and smile, giving her a quick kiss.

"You're so beautiful." I whisper, running my hand over her bare hip and she smiles.

Suddenly we hear what sounds like the front door opening and she shoots up straight like an arrow.

"Sash? Are you home?" The voice sounds like Alex's and she starts throwing my clothes to me.

"Get dressed, now." She says and I don't hesitate.

"Is Nate here? His car's in the driveway!" He calls and he starts coming up the stairs.

"Huh? Oh yeah, we're just hanging out!" She calls back.

I was dressed again but Sasha seemed to be having trouble doing her bra up. I get a sweater quickly from one of her drawers and rush over.

"Give me those and put this on." I whisper and she nods, sliding the piece of clothing over her head. I toss her shirt and bra into her hamper and rush to sit down on the bed with her.

He's almost here now and I'm shitting bricks. She picks up her laptop and quickly settles it between us letting a random show start to play. She passes me a headphone and she puts the other one in. She kisses my cheek and gives me a wink which only makes me laugh.

"So here you two are." He says leaning on the doorframe and she smiles, pausing the show.

"What happened to your friends?" I ask and he laughs.

"One of them got detention and the other one had to go pick his sister up from volleyball." He tells us. "So what have you two been up to?"

"The usual." She says nonchalantly. "This is some of the only time we've had together this week."

"Right." He says. Then his eyes land on the drawer of her dresser, I didn't end up closing it all the way. "You should keep those bottom drawers closed." He says with a smirk and then turns in the opposite direction, walking back towards his room.

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't have a condom huh?" I ask and she laughs, falling into my chest. I don't think we convinced Alex for one second.