I can't sit still, I feel incredibly on edge knowing Sasha's trying to sort everything out with her family. What if she comes back here more torn up than when she left?

I wanted everything to go well for Sasha, as much as I wanted her here, I knew that this was right at the end of the day and she needed to go home and be with her family. I was sad of course that she wouldn't be just across the hall anymore when I wanted to see her. That we couldn't fall asleep together anymore.

But it was selfish to want her here. I couldn't keep her here and I knew she couldn't keep avoiding her issues. She was stronger than I was, more capable of dealing with hard things.

I was pacing my living room now, waiting for her to come back. Today was rough for her, she was jumpy and nervous. Every time I looked at her she was in a whole other world, overthinking everything. I did what I could to comfort her and she smiled appreciatively.

I offered to go with her today but she asked that I just wait for her at home. She was worried I could make things worse and possibly add fuel to the fire. So I respected her wishes and waited at home for her to come back.

Just now I see a few cars pull up to the house and I see Sasha and her brothers step out of them. They give her a hug and she nods waving goodbye and walking back to the house. I wait a little too shamelessly by the door for her and she opens it slowly, finding my eyes. She rushes over and wraps her arms around me.

"Nathan." She says quietly and I feel myself melting in her hands. That was all it took to undo me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask and I feel her nod against my chest. I pick her up and sit down on the couch letting her settle into my side.

I just sit with her for a while knowing she was mildly upset. About what I wasn't sure, but I'd let her tell me when she was ready. She buries her face in my chest and takes a few deep breaths.

"I'm sorry." She whispers and I grab her face to look up at me.

"For what?" I ask and she sighs.

"I'm leaving." She says even more quietly and I nod.

"That's great Sash." I say quietly and she looks almost confused. "N-not because I want you gone." I quickly confirm and she laughs a bit. "I'm just glad it all went well."

"Alex is coming over tomorrow to get me and my things." She says and I nod. Part of me was almost thankful she wasn't leaving until tomorrow. I'd seen her every single day for over a week, it made me sad that our time of living together was coming to an end.

But I knew she was miserable. She wasn't happy staying here, I knew she felt guilty for imposing and I knew she was bothered by her issues at home.

"I don't want to leave you." She says quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere." I remind her. "Just because you aren't here doesn't mean I won't be around anymore. I'm all in remember? I'll be with you as much as I can, I'll climb through your window everyday."

"You won't have to anymore." She tells me. "That was the dealbreaker, I told mom if I came home, that I wanted to see you. For you to be able to come over and see me, that I love you and I want to be with you."

"And she agreed?" I ask and she nods.

"She did, she thinks you're 'wonderful'." She says, running her fingers through my hair. "I don't know what I'll do when you're not across the hall anymore."

"Then you call me, or FaceTime me, or I'll even come by and make sure you're alright." I whisper, kissing the top of her head. "How much I love you doesn't change, Sash."

"This is our last night here together." She whispers and I nod taking a deep breath. It was bittersweet moment, but I wasn't losing her, she and I would be better off once she went home. She'd get to deal with the things that bothered her and when she was ready, we could finally be together.

"Here." I remind her. "Our last night here. I plan on having many more nights with you."

She smiles a bit and tilts her head up to kiss my cheek.

"I love you." She says quietly and I smile. "Thank you for everything, you and your mom have done so much for me."

"I'd do anything for you." I whisper. "I'm glad you came to me."

She slowly moves over so she can curl up in my lap and I smile holding her close. "I love you." I whisper and she smiles. She sits up and presses her lips to mine making my heart nearly explode.

She runs her fingers through my hair sending chills down my spine and I pull her flush against me. It's all very sentimental, it almost feels nostalgic when I think about the other times we've kissed in this house.

"So everything's alright?" I ask, double checking and she nods.

"Mom was really broken up which just made me sad too. She apologized to me for a lot of things, apologies don't fix everything but.....it was a nice start." She says quietly. "It's the first time I've seen real emotion from her in years."

"She loves you." I tell her and she nods hesitantly. "I'm sure all of this woke her up a bit though, she'll make more of an effort with you to make sure you're happy."

"I hope so." She says shaking her head. "I'd like to have her back."

"I'm going to miss you." I say quietly. "I don't know what I'll do for a cuddle now."

"Call me, I'll see what I can do for you." She says holding my face in her hands. I laugh and lean in to kiss her quickly and she smiles a bit.

"So last night....what do you want to do?" I ask and she smiles.

"Well there is this one thing I've been thinking about....." She says running her hands down my arms. "This thing you said the other day."

"What's that?" I ask and she turns bright red. What did I say that could make her look so embarrassed? I hadn't said anything really dirty to her.....had I?

"You s-said something on Saturday morning." She says quietly keeping her eyes down.

"What was it?" I ask genuinely confused now and she sighs.

"You said......something about.....showering." She answers, clearing her throat and suddenly my brain clicks into place.

"Oh." I say and she still looks anywhere other than my eyes. "You want to shower together?"

"Maybe....." She answers and buries her face in my chest. I find her truly adorable, Sasha was so innocent.

"I'm not making fun of you but, are you sure you're ready for that?" I ask and she sighs shrugging her shoulders.

"I think so." She says quietly. "If I'm not then.....we just stop right?"

I thought about that for a moment but then I got worried. I knew Sasha hadn't seen me without boxers yet and I was genuinely scared she might freak out. Just being skin to skin was so intimate.......we hadn't been that way yet.

"Of course we can." I assure her. "Just.....make sure you're telling me if you're alright?" She nods and I feel my heart hammer in my chest. We were really going to do this.

"Take me upstairs." She whispers and I nod picking her up and feeling her legs wrap around my waist.

I take my time on the stairs, making sure to be careful. We get to the washroom and I set her on the counter closing the door and turning on the light. I then walk over and turn on the shower, giving it time to heat up.

Mom was working late and asked me to keep an eye on Sasha tonight after her family meeting. I think this counts.

I walk back to her and pull her to the edge of the counter. I hear her gasp and I smile pulling her close. She wraps her arms around the back of my neck and kisses me and I groan moving my hands under her top to rest on her bare hips.

She reaches down and pulls off my shirt, I feel her small hands run over my back and I sigh. I move to pull off her own top and I run my hands over her hips. She sighs, throwing her head back and I kiss the side of her neck.

I reach down to her jeans and undo the button at the top, slowly pulling the denim down her legs. I run my hands back up and I watch her breathing pick up. She slowly reaches down to undo my own pants and I focus all of my attention in order not to harden under her touch.

I pull them off and immediately go back to her, kissing her and keeping her legs wrapped around my waist. She sighs again, pulling at the roots of my hair. I reach around behind her and find her bra clasp. I struggle for a second but eventually I get it undone and she nods as I pull it away from her body.

Sasha is perfect in absolutely every way, I'm convinced she's the most beautiful person I've ever met.

I run my hands down the front of her body and I hear a quiet gasp as her legs tighten around my waist. Part of what I loved about Sasha was that all of this felt brand new again.

She slides off the counter and walks over to the shower, turning away. She pulls her underwear down and she steps into the shower. I just stare at her butt, the way her body looks.

"Are you coming?" She asks quietly keeping faced towards the wall and I clear my throat.

"As long as you're really sure." I say and she nods looking over her shoulder.

I sigh and pull down my boxers stepping out of them and walk over to the shower.

I step in behind her and take a deep breath seeing her stand just inches away. She looks over at me, eyes wide and I feel my breath leave my throat and she nods turning around to look at me.

"Alright?" I ask and she nods. Her eyes however don't leave my face, making me worry this really made her uncomfortable.

"I-I am." She says, as if she can read my thoughts. "It's just new."

"Is it alright if I do this?" I ask and look down for her hand.

"Yeah." She says breathlessly. I feel like I can't breathe either when she runs her hands up the front of my chest. She was so small, so completely fascinated by anything and everything. Despite how hard I've been trying to keep my mind clear, her touching me is just too much. I go hard and she gasps but doesn't move her eyes. I groan knowing I'm digging into her stomach.

"C-can I......touch you?" She asks and I furrow my eyebrows feeling my hormones getting more out of control from her saying that.

"I don't know if it's a good idea." I warn she just smiles with an embarrassed laugh. She takes a deep determined breath and looks down to the space between us.

I hear her breathe in sharply through her nose and watch her eyes widen. She almost looks confused and then furrows her eyebrows. I start to get self-conscious, I don't know if I've ever had somebody look at my junk for this long.

Without warning I feel her small fingers wrap around me and I reach my hand out to grab the shower wall and I close my eyes.

"Oh fuck." I breathe, I wasn't expecting that.

"S-sorry." She mumbles and I take a deep breath. "I should have asked first.....was that bad?"

"No." I breathe and when I open my eyes the sight in front of me is almost too good. Sasha standing in a shower with me, completely naked, holding onto me in the most intimate way possible.

"Is it like this?" She asks quietly and starts to glide her hand back and forth and I groan. I can feel my hips thrusting forward, toes scrunching up, I give it twenty seconds if she continues.

"Stop." I breathe and she looks mortified. She looks upset and I grab her shoulders. "No it was good, I just.....I don't want to.....you know-"

"Why not?" She asks. "I can handle it Nathan, I'm not made of glass."

"I know your not, but isn't this a lot at once?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, I know what I want." She whispers. "How am I going to learn otherwise?"

"If you're sure." I say and she nods. "It's going to be fast." She nods again and I feel her hand travel back down. She wraps around me again and I close my eyes, immediately settling into the feeling again.

It doesn't take much, just knowing it was her was sending me over the edge. I can't breathe now and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Sash, I'm about to....." I can't even finish the sentence as I blow my load. My breath leaves my body and grab hold of her shoulder. As I try to come back to earth I hear 'oh my god' and I realize what's happening now. I open my eyes and see I didn't miss Sasha entirely and she looks at her hip.

"Shit, sorry." I whisper and move so she can get in front of the water to wash it away.

"Wow." She says quietly. "I didn't know it was....like that." She says and I try to shake off my embarrassment. She only had me in her hand for fifteen seconds.

"Jesus, sorry." I mumble and she turns around.

"I'm fine, you didn't scare me." She says with a laugh. "Thank you for trusting me." I nod and pull her against me, enjoying having her so close. A sudden thought runs through my mind and I grab her chin to look at me.

"How would you feel about trusting me?" I ask and she sighs.

"As fun as this is I'd rather have sex in a bed." She whispers and I shake my head.

"It's not sex, Sash." I whisper and she furrows her eyebrows. "I'm just going to touch you."

"It doesn't.....hurt, does it?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Not at all, trust me." I say and she nods with a sigh. "You can tell me to stop if it's too much." I whisper and she nods licking her lips.

I turn her around so her back is against my front. I start by moving my hands to her chest, squeezing and tugging, hearing heavy breathing come from Sasha and her head resting back against my chest.

I slowly slide one of my hands down her body until I watch her eyes shoot open. She watches me and I kiss her shoulder moving my hands down over her smooth skin. I move down just a bit further until I can touch her.

She gasps and looks at me with this confused look. I of course knew what a hand-job felt like, but I had a feeling Sasha certainly didn't.

"W-what are you doing to me?" She asks quietly and I press harder, making her groan. She doesn't ask me anything else or really say anything. Just sighs and moans, latching onto my arms.

"Nathan." She breathes. "Nathan." I hear again and I move my other hand over her chest. "Oh my.....god."

"That's it baby." I whisper and she grinds against my hand.

"What's happening?" She asks quickly and I can tell by her heart beat alone that she's close.

"Just trust me." I tell her and I hear her breathing pick up. But I don't hear any loud echoing moans or screaming, she's absolutely silent. She goes rigid in my grasp, all I hear is one 'oh'. She's just quiet breaths and smiles.

Once it's over she takes a deep breath and clears her throat, hiding her face from me. It was nerve-wracking to really trust someone to see you that way. Especially for Sasha who was terrified of just taking her shirt off around me a week ago.

"Alright?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeah." I hear in a breathy voice and I know she's probably embarrassed.

"I love you." I whisper, kissing the side of her neck. "Thank you for trusting me." She nods quietly looking for the soap in the shower and I know something's off. That should be enjoyable and fun to do with someone else, it shouldn't feel embarrassing and shameful.

"Baby." I whisper turning her back around to look at me and she keeps her eyes down. "Look at me." I say quietly. I grab her chin and force her to meet my eyes. "Look at me." I repeat and she sighs looking uncomfortable. "There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing."

"I know......" She mumbles. "I just-I don't know what just happened. That's never happened to me before."

"You don't know what that was?-"

"No I do." She says shaking her head. "I-um.....I just thought....I thought it only happened when you had s-sex." She stutters. I smile tucking her hair behind her ears. Poor sweet innocent Sasha. She has no idea.

"Oh." I say quietly.

"Ugh, I sound like a loser." She says. "I'm so lame."

"Don't say that." I whisper running my hands over her arms. "We'll do it together, alright? But I don't want you to regret the things we do."

"I don't." She assures me. "It was just.....different."

"Would you do it again?" I ask and a smile quirks at the corners of her mouth.

"Yes." She says quietly and leans into my chest. I smile trying not to laugh.

"Good." I whisper, kissing her forehead. "Now let's get out the water's starting to turn cold." She nods and steps out after I turn off the water. "Thank you for the eventful shower Miss Petrov."

"Anytime Mister Carter." She whispers, giving me a kiss on the cheek and wrapping a towel around her gorgeous figure. I watch her leave the washroom and I have to restrain myself from following her into the bedroom and pulling her down onto the comforter with me.

That would come later, right now all I had on my mind was spending my last night with her snuggled up in bed.