"Why were you being so nice to her yesterday?" Sabrina asks flailing her arms around and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Who-"

"That....ice bitch." She mumbles shaking her head.

"What?" I ask and she nods. "Sweetie come on, I wasn't exactly being friendly with her."

Sabrina Carmichael, my absolutely infuriating girlfriend. I never knew what could make her happy, she was impossible to please. It was never as easy as it seemed on the outside, we weren't the united front people thought we were. I hated calling her 'sweetie', just saying the word had me almost gaging. But she wanted a pet name, she wanted to pick it of course too. And what ever Sabrina wants, she gets.

I'd agreed to go out with her about a year ago. She was very pretty, I thought I was scoring big with somebody like that. Little did I know everyday would turn into a fight, that's what happens when you date somebody privileged and stuck-up, nothing's ever good enough.

"You like her don't you?" She asks and I roll my eyes.

"Why would I like her?" I ask and she crosses her arms.

"I know how you two were when you were younger." She says and I laugh.

"Our moms were both on the PTA and I was friends with her brothers. We just knew each other by association." I tell her wondering how she could linger on something that happened over twenty-four hours ago. Wondering how she even knew we used to know each other.

The truth was we used to be close, really close. She was almost my best friend for a long time, Sasha was always kind, honest. We didn't know each other anymore however, she'd become incredibly stiff and shy. I didn't really like who I became either granted, I knew how awful I was now.

I tried not to really tease her the way everyone else did, I tried to say things that could be interpreted as something friendly. Of course Sasha never saw them that way however, and my jealous girlfriend did.

"She's annoying." She whines grabbing my arms. Oh how wrong you are Sabrina.

"Can't we just leave her alone?" I ask and she turns her nose up, giving me a horrified glare.

"Why are you defending her?" She snaps hitting my chest.

"I'm not but we don't have to be so outwardly nasty." I say with a shrug.

"She doesn't fit into our world." She says pointedly. Her saying things like that really revolted me, she was talking like I somehow felt that way. Sasha used to fit into my world, fit in quite nicely in fact. But that was so many years ago.

"Just relax-"

"Relax?!" She exclaims and I want to shoot myself in the foot. "Do not start with me on relaxing, Nate!"

"Sweetie nothing happened, just take it easy." I tell her and she pouts crossing her arms.

"Promise me you don't have any feelings for her." She says and I feel my heart sink a bit. I'll always care about Sasha, even when I'm pretending to hate her.

"I don't." I tell her shaking my head. She smiles a bit and I relax knowing I've stopped Sabrina's spiralling hurricane of anger for the evening.

"Good." She says and leans in to give me a hug. "I love you." She whispers and I tense up. I'd never heard her say that to me, I'd never said it to her. I didn't know what to think. I just nodded and pulled back kissing her forehead. Emotions weren't really my thing, especially when I was getting yelled at just seconds before.

"Let's get ready to go to practice yeah?" I ask and she frowns shoving me back.

"I knew it, I knew something was going on." She says shaking her head. "We've been going out for a year Nate! Don't you love me?" Holy shit, I can do no right tonight!

"That's a big word." I mutter pathetically. "I'll say it, just give me time-"

"Time?" She exclaims. "How much more time do you need?"

I didn't need time, I needed a drink. Did people seeing each other in high school even say they loved each other? I didn't think so, this was overwhelming, as most things with Sabrina were.

She was the harshest person I knew, mean for the sake of it and overly aggressive. I was trying to deal with it for the sake of appearances alone. I'd screwed myself in this relationship, there wasn't a right way to progress.

"Can't we just slow down? I'm only turning sixteen next week." I say knowing I was too young to be committing to a girl like Sabrina. She'd tell her mommy and daddy and then I'd have to be over for more teas and meals, watching wedding invitations getting mailed out. Sabrina was way too clingy.

"Fine, you say it back by then. Or we're done." She says storming out of my bedroom and I lay back on my bed.

The sad thing is I'd gladly let the week pass me by, but I knew it was an empty threat. Sabrina was one for the dramatics and water works but her break-ups never became a reality.

I decided to head to practice early, see if I could clear my head a bit. I get to the rink by bus after Sabrina left in the town car that was supposed to take us. Why was that even a thing? I hated her world, her fancy parties and brunches.

I get there and the rink is empty, I sit and pull on my skates ready to just blow off some steam. Skating always helped with that feeling relaxed and as if I was really happy.

Soon enough our practice was starting and I was skating the ice, doing drills. It always surprised me how much one could sweat in an ice rink.

Then we were done, Jake was off quickly claiming he had a date at ten that he just couldn't miss. 'Date' for Jake, always meant sex. He'd found another desperate girl and I just rolled my eyes.

I decided to skate a while longer, take off my padding and have a bit of downtime.

"-That's wonderful Kate, I think it'll really add something to the routine." I hear and turn to see Sasha walking into the rink. Her hair tied back in a tight French-twist, thermal tights, a little skating outfit hidden under a sweater. No matter when I saw her she always seemed done-up, flawless make up, manicured hands, tweezed eyebrows.

"Excuse me, you're not allowed to be here." I hear getting snapped from my daydream. I see the lady she's standing with yell angrily shaking her head.

"Sorry, I was just....skating a bit." I say. "Hey Sash."

"You know him?" The man with her asks.

"Yes-"

"No." Sasha immediately corrects him. "Please leave, this is a closed practice." I don't know the girl standing on the other side of the glass anymore. She used to be so fun-loving and happy, she used to smile when she saw me not look scared or angry.

Her expression is cool, she has icy blue eyes, eyes that used to be so dangerous. She's so groomed now, tense. What had figure skating done to her?

"Nathan." She huffs crossing her ams. I raise my hands and skate over to get off the ice.

"I thought you said you didn't know me." I tease and she rolls her eyes not even taking the opportunity to take a dig at me. I linger in the doorway watching her tie up her skates and stretch. Holy shit, when did she get so flexible? She skates onto the ice and I hear cool classical music starting to play.

Her expression is neutral, as she executes jumps that almost scare me too much to watch. She lands them without so much as a blink and continues with her program. She's so much better now than she used to be, I can see her concentration.

She leans into a needle, with her legs almost in a straight line. I didn't get to watch her very often, I can't stick around after practices to watch her with the team and her two brothers here. But she was so much more beautiful now, her skating was gorgeous now that she'd grown up. Why couldn't we stay friends?

It's hard not to take in her legs or body. This is the only time she isn't all covered up in bulky clothing. She looks very serious, like this skate is do or die. I watch for a while as she and her coaches work over individual sections. She goes again and again, like a mindless robot repeating a set of moves.

If there was one thing Sasha was outwardly, it was Russian. She was petit, blonde, thin, strived for perfection all the time and looked incredibly icy, distant and angry on the outside.

Sasha didn't have an accent, her father however had one so thick you could barely understand him. Her family spoke some Russian, some English at home. At school you'd hardly be able to tell when she speaks, it's really only when she's upset. It's been ages since she's really spoken more than a few words to me

I must look so creepy standing here in the doorway, watching her after she told me to leave. This is just an opportunity I get so rarely.

"Nate?" I hear someone squeak behind me and I turn to see Sabrina. Fuck.

"Hey sweetie, what are you doing here?" I ask and she furrows her eyebrows.

"I called your house, your mom said you hadn't come home yet." She says. "I thought I'd see if you were still here, maybe wanted a ride home?"

"Oh um, sure." I say and she frowns.

"Why are you watching her Nate?"

"I was just trying to think, I skated until her coaches kicked me off the ice." I say and she sighs.

"Well that's Sasha, thinking she's so important." She huffs. "We're you thinking about me?"

"Yeah." I say looking at the floor. "Sabrina, why are you trying to force this?"

"I can tell we're drifting." She says shaking her head. "I know there's not much keeping you around anymore. I just want to keep you, to have you."

"Keep me?" I ask feeling mildly offended. "We're young, loosen up."

"I'm perfectly fine thank you. I just don't want to have to worry that you're chasing down an old girl." She sighs.

"I'm not chasing her, she hates me." I say knowing as much as it hurt it was true. "Sabrina you need to trust me."

"I do." She says immediately and I sigh. "It would just be nice to hear that you care about me." I groan and roll my eyes internally knowing I tell her that every single day.

She wanted me to say love because it made everything official. It was like getting engaged in her eyes. I'd stick around now because we were stuck with each other. She wanted to own me, hide me away.

"I do." I remind her. I told I did whenever she got mad at me, which was an awful lot. "But you need to work with me, I can't keep fighting with you over stupid things." She nods and pulls her lip between her teeth.

"Alright." She says giving me an instant hug that I don't return. "How about we go out? I'll ask the driver to take us anywhere."

"It's after ten-thirty, I have school stuff." I tell her and she huffs.

"Just for a while." She whines. "Come on we could have a great time, make up for our rough patch."

"Fine." I say and she smiles. "Let me get changed." I close the door to the change room and lay my forehead against it.

What am I doing? Why are we working through our issues when I know she doesn't mean it. She won't change anything and we'll keep pretending.

I pull off my gear and try and think about anyone other than the girl skating across the ice in a pair of tights. The girl who hates me now, when I can't help but care about her.