:

"You're Kim Namjoon's mother?"

Your hand slaps over your mouth. You'd just gotten done spilling your heart out to her about her own son. You feel your heart rate jumping up at an insane speed, keeping your eyes down at your glass.

What the actual fuck? This cannot be real. This is a dream. This is a simulation.

You slowly look back over and he's still staring at you, but his expression has switched from shocked to unreadable. You get lost in his eyes for a minute before looking back down, your face flushing a light pink as you take in how good he looks.

He's not even trying and he's got you stirring in your seat. He's dressed in all black; black sweatpants, black hoodie, and black beanie. He's literally doing the bare minimum and you feel like you might catch on fire.

The shock in your body slowly begins to be replaced with fear and hurt, and you start to panic a little.

What should I do? Do I act like a stranger? Do I say hello? Do I punch him in the mouth?

"Mom, what's going on?" he finally asks, his smooth voice alone sending shivers over your body.

"This kind young lady helped me carry the groceries home so I treated her to some lemonade."

You continue to stare down at your glass, acting like one of those paralyzed goats when overstimulated.

"That doesn't surprise me about her at all," he chuckles, making your eyes snap back towards him.

"Why?" she asks him. "Do you know her?"

"I do," he smiles softly. "She works for our company."

"What a small world. Do you know all your employees this well?" Mrs. Kim laughs.

"No," he shakes his head, slipping his shoes off. "Just the ones I have a crush on."

You can feel your face turning the same shade as Mrs. Kim's red dress. You've never had so many emotions run through you at once. Sadness. Excitement. Confusion. Irritation. Bliss. Devastation. It's all crashing over in waves and you can't seem to form any words.

"I can't blame you for having a crush on her," she laughs. "She'd be the perfect daughter-in-law. Some prick broke her heart though so you have a lot of work ahead of you."

Your forehead immediately makes contact with the cool countertop as you try to bury yourself, doing everything you can to make yourself smaller, your fingers lacing together behind your head. "Ahjumma, that was supposed to be our little secret."

"Oh, sorry dear," she chuckles. "Your reaction was just so cute."

You feel Namjoon move closer, his palms pressing against the granite next to you. "Don't worry. I plan to win her over."

Your head snaps up to him, your eyes instantly locking with his. You're frozen in place as he looks down at you with that damn dimple smile, his eyes showing a similar warmth as his mother, flooding you with both ache and euphoria.

"Can she stay for dinner?" he asks, turning back to her.

"Of course!" she beams. "Any crush of my son's is welcome here."

"N-No it's okay," you stutter, turning back towards Mrs. Kim. "I don't want to impose. And I have people waiting, I need to get back."

"Don't lie to me honey," she smirks. "You begged me to let you help because you were so bored and had no plans the rest of the day."

You mentally facepalm yourself as she turns around towards you, walking over to stand across from you at the island. Her hands reach out to gently cup yours. "When's the last time you've had a home cooked meal? Aren't you homesick?"

Your chest tightens a little. The last time you had a home cooked meal made by someone else was with Mr. and Mrs. Watanabe months ago. "Please stay," she begs, giving you a very convincing set of puppy dog eyes.

You look at her, then at Namjoon, then over to Mr. Kim who remains silent but has a warm smile on his lips. You let out a long exhale and sigh before saying, "Okay."

"Perfect," she grins, her face looking like she just won the lottery. "Son, does your crush have a name?"

"It's [Y/N]," he says with a smile, the sound of your name from his lips spreading goosebumps over your arms.

"Okay, take the beautiful Miss [Y/N] out back and chat while your father and I make dinner."

You look up at Namjoon and he has his hand extended towards you for you to take. You stare down at it, taking a couple seconds before gently grabbing it. You're not surprised by the adrenaline that rushes through you just by the skin contact as he leads you towards the back porch.

He slides the glass door open to find a tiny but beautiful backyard, the patio extending to the middle with a table and swinging bench, elegant and vibrant shrubbery surrounding the entire yard.

Namjoon keeps your hand in his as he leads you to the bench swing and you both take a seat. He lets go of your hand and it almost stings as his fingers slip from yours.

You both sit there silently, looking at your laps as he gently swings you two back and forth with his legs. You weren't sure how it would feel seeing him again like this, but it doesn't hurt quite as badly as you thought it would.

"I promise I'm not stalking you," he says lightheartedly. "I knew you were in Ilsan but I didn't expect to see you. I'd planned to come home before I knew you'd be here."

"I know you're not," you smile at him. "This coincidence is pretty crazy though. I did feel an odd warmth from your mother that I couldn't quite explain but now it makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I kept getting a familiar feeling when she looked at me," you say softly, looking back down at your lap. "You have her eyes."

"Ah," he chuckles. "I get that a lot."

A comfortable silence fills the air as Namjoon continues to gently swing the bench back and forth.

"How are you doing?" he asks.

You suddenly flashback to sobbing into your pillow last night. "I'm doing okay. How're you?"

You feel his intense gaze on the side of your face and finally look up when he doesn't answer. "I thought we weren't lying to each other."

Your throat tightens as you look into his eyes. You're not doing okay.

"Actually, I'm not so great," you admit, looking back down. "But I'm better. My friends have been a great support system."

"I'm glad you have them there for you," he says.

"Jeffrey told me you came to see me."

His eyes snap to you. "He did?"

"Yeah," you nod. "He told me he teased you."

"He sure did," Namjoon grimaces, remembering his smug attitude. "But I understand why he's protective of you."

"We're not..." you pause, unsure of how to explain yourself. "Jeffrey and I, we aren't like that."

"I saw him kiss you."

Your blood runs cold as you look over at him, but he doesn't seem angry. If anything he's just looking at you fondly.

"Well, it was on your forehead," he smiles.

"We really haven't had slept together, I swear," you say sternly. "He stays over and gives little kisses here and there. But that's it."

"It's okay [Y/N], you don't have to-"

"I want to," you cut him off, your eyes staring straight into his. "I haven't had sex with him."

You both look into each other's eyes for a minute before Namjoon smiles warmly at you, his dimple smile almost blinding you. "[Y/N], I appreciate you being honest with me, but I'm really okay."

Your mouth parts slightly as you keep looking at him, both in shock and confusion. The last time you saw him he was weeping over pressed flowers. This calm and collected Namjoon makes your heart both constrict and flutter.

The look in his eyes shoots a wave of electricity through you, making your body tighten. "I'm going to win you back, and I'm going to do it the right way," he says, grabbing your hand again. "So if Jeffrey is who you need to rely on right now, then do it. I recognize he's the one who's been there for you while I haven't."

It feels like thirty thousand emotions are coursing through you, and you're not sure how to feel. You're happy he's not angry. But you might be a little disappointed he's not angry.

Was I expecting him to be jealous?

"Don't get me wrong," he laughs, noticing your panicked expression. "I still fucking hate the guy. There's not a minute that goes by where I'm not thinking of you. A piece of me has been missing ever since we broke up."

Your chest feels like it's going to explode. Every cell in your body is screaming at you to hug and kiss him.

"I know I can't fix things just with words, but I am sorry for the way I treated you," he says, his voice softening as he looks down at your hands. "I am so deeply sorry for the awful words that left my mouth that night."

You're overwhelmed with emotion. Overwhelmed by how much you love him. Overwhelmed by how much you miss him. Overwhelmed by how badly you want to be wrapped up in his arms.

Your eyes move towards the ground, noticing Namjoon's stopped swinging. You stare down at your shoes, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.

"I'm going to make it up to you," he says with a strong confidence in his voice, making your eyes meet his again. "I'm going to put your broken pieces back together. If you'll let me, I'm going to love you until that's the only thing you're filled with."

The fierceness behind his eyes makes you shiver, but in a good way. You feel safe. You feel protected. You feel like you can trust the words he's saying.

"Just know that I am taking responsibility for hurting you. And however you decide to heal from my wounds, I will respect it," he says, moving his hand to cup your cheek.

You know you still have a long road ahead. You know there's still a lot of conversations that need to be had. You know for now these are just words. But for the first time in a while, you feel hopeful.

And just like when he sent the flowers, another part of your heart begins to heal.

Mr. Kim had decided to come sit outside and chat as well, handing you both a glass of lemonade. The three of you casually laughed and chatted about mundane life like sports, the weather, the news. Spending time like this with Namjoon is proving to be quite therapeutic for you. It's nice to be able to chat casually and forget all your worries for a little while.

You feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket and see you're getting a call from Jeffrey. You glance up at Namjoon and he just smiles and nods. "Go ahead."

You give him a small nod and step away from the bench, moving yourself towards the house. The backyard is relatively small, so you can't get too far away.

"Hey," you answer.

"Hey, where are you?" Jeffrey asks. "Nanami looked up your location to make sure you weren't chopped up in the woods and saw you're at a house."

"Ah, it's kind of a long story," you chuckle nervously. "I helped someone out and she's treating me to dinner."

"Oh that's really sweet," he says. "Alright well we just wanted to make sure you're okay. We have close to two hours left here, I'll call you when we're done. I'm glad you're alive."

You tilt your head back and laugh. "Thank you, Mom."

Jeffrey pauses on the other end of the phone, making you shift on your feet.

"Are you sure you want to call me that after your conversation last night? Maybe daddy's a more accurate name?"

Your jaw slacks as your face flushes a light pink.

"Ouch," Jeffrey grunts into the phone.

"Sorry about this stupid man child," Nanami says, taking his phone. "Enjoy your evening. I love you bye."

"I love you too," you giggle before hanging up.

You slide your phone back into your pocket and gasp as you almost slam into the giant beefcake standing behind you. He frantically reaches out for your waist to stabilize you before you fall over.

"Oh god I'm sorry," he huffs, equally as shocked as you. "Mom wanted me to ask if you'd like some wine with your dinner."

"Dear god," you breathe out, putting a hand over your chest. "After that experience, yes I do."

"Sorry," he chuckles.

You look down and see your right hand gripping his bicep from when you almost fell, and he still has his hands around your waist. Looking back up you meet his gaze and find an unreadable expression on his face. He almost looks like he wants to say something.

"Um... did you..." he starts, but he looks down and shakes his head, releasing your waist. "Never mind." He smiles at you again. "Let's go ins-"

He's stopped by you grabbing his sweatshirt on each of his sides, his breath hitching as you take a step closer to him.

"Talk to me," you say softly. "What were you going to ask?" His eyes widen for a bit before biting into his cheek and avoiding your eyes, clearly nervous about his question.

"I don't know if I have the right to ask," he mumbles.

"That's for me to decide."

His jaw slacks for a second as he looks at you. You wait there, not letting go of your grip on his hoodie.

"Did you..." he trails off, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "Did you just tell Jeffrey you love him?" His cheeks flush pink in embarrassment as he looks down.

"Did I what?" you ask, brows furrowing down in confusion. "Why would I- oh." You look up at the sky and remember back to your phone conversation before you hung up.

"No, I didn't," you giggle, letting go of his clothes. "The latter half of the conversation was with Nanami. She took his phone."

His beautiful brown eyes look back at you in relief. "Oh, okay," is all he says.

"Look, Joo-," you clear your throat. "Namjoon, if we have any sort of shot at working this out, we have to communicate. I don't know what's going to happen between us yet, but don't be scared of approaching me." He blinks at you, absorbing your words. "If you ever make me uncomfortable or if I ever need you to stop, I will let you know."

He continues staring with an unreadable expression before tilting his head back and laughing.

"W-what?" you ask, slightly annoyed.

"I'm just really in love with you."

Your face flushes as he turns and heads for the door. "Let's head inside," he smiles.

You follow behind him and step back into the kitchen to see Mrs. Kim bustling around. "Do you need any help?" you ask her over her shoulder.

"Just take these glasses of wine to the table and we're all set," she grins. You set the glasses down and Namjoon pulls your chair out, waiting for you to take a seat.

"Thanks," you smile warmly at him, making his eyes sparkle.

The dinner passes by happily and the conversation flows easily as questions and various different topics bounce back and forth between yourself and Mr. and Mrs. Kim effortlessly. Namjoon spends most of the time smiling at you, not contributing much to the conversation.

"Oh dear," Mrs. Kim sighs, looking out the window to see it's pouring outside. You suddenly feel your phone vibrating in your pocket to see Jeffrey calling.

"Excuse me, I need to take this real quick, it's the people I'm staying here with," you say before stepping out of the room.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Princess. Have you looked outside?"

"Yeah I actually just saw it," you say, peeking out of the living room blinds.

"It might be a while before we can go anywhere," he sighs. "Are you still with the woman you helped earlier?"

"I am," you nod, conveniently leaving out that there's two others here as well.

"Do you think she'd mind letting you stay a little longer? Just until the weather clears up."

You smile to yourself, knowing Namjoon is thanking the clouds right now. "Yeah I bet it's fine."

"Is she nice? What's her place like? Are you safe?"

"Jeffrey," you roll your eyes. You're sure as hell not about to tell him whose house you're actually at. But you should probably tell someone. "Can I talk to Nanami?"

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Here."

"Hey you raggedy bitch," she says. "You gonna be good there for a while longer?"

"Yeah, Nans."

She hears you call her that and instantly knows something's up. "Do I need to step away?"

"No," you shake your head. "But I need you to keep a straight face when I tell you this. Jeffrey can't know or he'll worry."

You hear her take a big deep breath. "Okay I'm ready."

"The lady I met today," you pause, biting into your lip. "She's Namjoon's mother. I'm at his parents' house right now."

You hear complete silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds. "Are her kids home?" she asks, meaning Jeffrey is probably still standing close by.

"He is."

"And you're getting along?"

"Actually yeah, we are," you smile softly, looking down at the floor. "It's been really nice. Me helping a random lady pick up potatoes in Ilsan has proven to be one of the best things I could've done for myself."

"That's really nice to hear," Nanami says, and you can hear a smile on her lips. "I'm really proud of you."

"Stop that," you giggle. "I'm trying not to cry right now."

"Alright babe, we'll call you again once the weather clears, it shouldn't take too long. I'm just a phone call away if you need anything."

"Thanks Nans, you're the best."

"You're fucking right I am."

You slip back into the dining room to see them all still sitting down, Namjoon just poking his steak with a fork. "Sorry about that," you say softly as you take your seat beside Namjoon.

"You're not about to leave during this weather are you?" Mr. Kim asks with a concerned look on his face.

"Ah," you nervously rub the back of your neck. "I was actually going to ask if I could stay another hour or two? Just until the weather clears."

"Why don't you just stay the night?" Mrs. Kim asks, clapping her hands together. "It'll be midnight before the storm passes."

"Oh no, no," you say frantically, putting your hands in front of you. "You've let me stay here and fed me and been so kind to me I can't possibly take any more from y-"

Your heart jumps to your throat when you see all three of them looking at you with puppy dog eyes. "Whoa, hey," you say sternly, standing up out of your chair. "You can't do that. You can't hit me with the triple threat. I'm already weak to Joon's eyes alone and having two more sets against me is not fair."

You don't seem to notice that you called him Joon but Namjoon and his mother definitely do.

Their puppy eyes don't let up, causing you to shrink back towards the wall. "W-w-why? Why are you all doing this to me?" you ask dramatically, making Mrs. Kim snort.

"Because I like you, [Y/N]," she smiles. "I don't want a pretty girl like you out alone on a Saturday night. It's dangerous."

"If you're not comfortable we won't force you though," Namjoon says, his earnest eyes staring straight into your soul. You and him stare into each other's eyes for a while, completely forgetting his parents are in the room.

Do I want to stay here?

Do I feel safe staying here?

You already know the answer.

"Okay," you nod shyly, avoiding all of their eyes. "I'll stay."

_________________

Chappy 53 ~

Thanks for always reading and commenting I love y'all :-)

Never in my life did I think I'd be sitting here single af at 27 writing a delusional ff about a man who doesn't know I exist.

I have peaked.