:

"Are you okay?" Jeffrey asks softly, taking your hand in his.

"I don't know," you shakily exhale, staring at the floorboard of his car. "That was so sudden."

After your encounter with Namjoon in the elevator you didn't have much time to think about things. Mr. Lim had immediately thrown you into a contract negotiation that lasted four hours. You and Jeffrey are finally on your way back home.

"You did great," he smiles, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles. "I'm fucking terrified of Seokjin though. I almost got on my knees and called him daddy."

You choke on the water going down your throat before laughing out loud. "That sounds about right. He's usually relaxed but it can be pretty scary when he's pissed."

Jeffrey pulls into your parking garage, putting the car in park before looking over at you with a serious look on his face.

"I need to tell you something."

You gulp and shift in your seat. Serious Jeffrey usually isn't a good sign.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair before making eye contact again. "The other day, Namjoon came to see you and I made him leave."

Your shoulders tense and your eyes widen as you stare at Jeffrey. "What? When?"

"The morning of his 'I love you' text."

You keep his gaze as you process his words and he remains silent as he patiently waits for your reaction. You swallow the lump in your throat and shift your eyes to your lap.

"I'm sorry," Jeffrey says. "I was really worried about you mentally. You had to go to work in two hours and I had a feeling the conversation wouldn't go the way he planned."

You're overcome with a mixture of relief, sadness, and irritation, the intense emotions flooding through your chest, making it a little hard to breathe.

"And he just left?" you ask.

"Of course not," Jeffrey snorts. "I had to threaten the moron. I told him I'd cause a scene and make the neighbors notice him. Then I made him come with me to the cafe and chat."

Your brows raise as you meet his eyes again. The blue ocean in his eyes are filled with nothing but genuine concern and affection.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"He was really nervous about us," Jeffrey sighs, leaning his head back against his leather seat. "I knew he fucking hated me so I teased him a little." Your brows furrow as he glances back over at you. "Don't be too mad at me. You have no idea the state you were in when I found you on the floor. I think I deserved at least that much."

Your lips curve into a small smile, imagining the annoyingly arrogant Jeffrey going head to head with an angry Namjoon.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he says, turning back to you. "I told him I wouldn't interfere again. I really was worried about you, but I know you're a grown woman who can make her own decisions."

You don't like it when people pity you. It's something you've always struggled with, regardless if the person means well or not. You hate feeling weak and powerless, and you hate it even more when others know you're weak and powerless. But you can't get mad at Jeffrey right now. He and Nanami have been your rock through this and you know they have only the best intentions for you.

"It's okay," you exhale slowly, relaxing your tight grip on the hem of your lilac sweater. "You're right it probably would've gone poorly if I'd seen him. Just let me know next time, okay? I'm doing better now."

"I promise," Jeffrey smiles. "Will you be okay on your own until dinner time?"

"I will," you nod. Jeffrey has to go home to handle a maintenance inspection at his place. It'll probably go by quickly since he has hardly used his place in a week. "Thanks for taking me home."

"Anytime, Princess," he grins as you step out of the car. "I'll see you tonight."

You wave as he drives away, sighing before you turn to head to your apartment. It's weird walking into your place alone. You've had Jeffrey, Nanami, or Boram with you almost the entire time lately, keeping you distracted from reality.

After setting your bags down on the island you move to flop yourself on your nice leather couch, groaning into one of the throw pillows. You turn on your side and hold your hand up in front of your face, staring at the back of your hand as you remember your encounter this morning.

The second Namjoon touched you, that same familiar electricity you've missed so much shot through your whole body, almost making you shiver. You've been cuddled up with Jeffrey every night, receiving snuggles and kisses — and enjoying it — but honestly not thinking too much of it. But just one touch from Namjoon almost made your knees give out, reminding you just how badly you crave him.

You bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to cry again. Pushing yourself off the couch, you make yourself shower which was a great idea, leaving you feeling like a new person afterwards. You slip into an oversized navy sweater and your Chimmy pajama shorts.

You're about to crawl back onto the couch and drown yourself in a movie when you hear the doorbell ring. You walk over to the monitor and see there's no one there, starting to get nervous. You've been very hesitant with opening doors ever since the kidnapping.

You slowly creek the door open, leaving the latch secured just in case. Your eyes travel around until you spot something colorful on the ground, making you remove the latch to get a better look.

Sitting on your doorstep is a small bouquet, an assortment of different colored lilies sprouting from a semi transparent crimson vase. You bend down to grab it and pull it inside, setting it on your island as you marvel at the beautiful plants. The colors remind you of the sunset, red, orange, yellow, and white lilies resting peacefully inside the glass vase.

"What the heck?" you say to yourself. "Did Jeffrey do this?"

There's a brown rope tied around the glass with a small white card hanging from it. You open the slip of paper and your throat tightens as you read the short message.

I love you and I'm thinking about you

Just know I'm here whenever you're ready

-Joon

"Goddammit," you groan as the tears fall down your cheeks. "I didn't want to cry today, you bastard." You try to wipe your tears but it's no use, more stream down your face as soon as you do.

Your salty tears fall over the petals as you grip the vase and stare down at the lilies, trying to contain your sobs. You miss him so much. You miss him so badly it hurts, the ache in your chest is almost paralyzing.

"I love you too," you whisper through your tears, still recognizing the gaping hole in your heart, but also feeling a tiny piece of it mending back together.

• • • • • • • •

"Thanks Jungkook," Namjoon chuckles into the phone. "I appreciate it. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye hyung, I love you."

"I love you too, bud."

Jungkook has been very vocal about his love and affection for Namjoon lately. Ever since their fight, JK has made it a point to let him know just how much his leader is loved and appreciated, not wanting him to ever hurt like that again.

Namjoon leans back in his computer chair, stretching his arm over his head as he groans from exhaustion, just having finished a vlive with Army. It's been a little over a week since he sent the flowers and hasn't heard anything. He isn't giving up though. He's got a list of things to do for you, Jin and Taehyung helped him draw it up. His vlive with Army made him feel a little bit better too.

Of course he hasn't been sleeping well. It's a little better than before, but without you he only gets around 3-4 hours of sleep at a time.

He pinches between his eyes, his brows furrowing in an attempt to contain the tears from exhaustion. He gets up from his desk and walks to his kitchen, grabbing one of the three hundred kombuchas Jungkook has sent him.

He takes a swig and sets the plastic down on his counter, looking past his living room and out the windows at the night sky. It's a beautiful night, the city lights glowing as the moon peeks from behind a small cloud. He's wishing you were here, cuddled up with him on the couch watching one of those horrendous murder documentaries.

He shakes his head and looks down, trying to get rid of his thoughts. "Don't get discouraged," he says to himself, palms pressed against the counter. "We're going to get her back."

He flinches as he hears the doorbell ring, not expecting anyone tonight. He groans as he walks over to the door, expecting to see one of his members coming over to cheer him up again.

Without even looking at the monitor, he swings his door open frustratedly. "You guys don't have to-"

His breath gets caught in his throat as he looks down at you, standing nervously with your hands behind your back. Your eyes are a little wide, confused by his irritation.

It takes him a second to take in what's in front of him. You're dressed in an adorable mint green crew neck sweater with light blue jeans, your hair tied up in a ponytail with almost no makeup on.

"[Y/N]," he breathes out. "I'm sorry. I thought you were Taehyung or Jimin."

"Are you expecting them?" you ask quietly. "I can come another t-"

"No," Namjoon blurts out nervously. "Ah- sorry to cut you off. I'm..." He glances away before quickly returning to meet your eyes. "Please don't go. Do you want to come in?"

You pause for a moment, Namjoon slightly panicking at your unreadable expression. "I want to come in," you say softly, your eyes meeting the ground. "But I don't want to talk about what happened."

"If you're not ready that's fine," Namjoon says, sounding relieved you didn't say no. "We can just talk casually. I'll take any time with you I can get."

You smile warmly, stepping past him to take your shoes off as he closes the door. He walks in front of you to see your eyes glazed over, looking at a specific spot on his kitchen floor.

He quickly grabs your hand, snapping you from your trance as you meet his eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" he asks. "Tea? Wine?"

"A glass of wine would be nice," you say to him, your shoulders relaxing a little.

"Coming right up," he grins, flashing his dimple smile. "I have a bottle of your favorite."

As Namjoon moves to grab the wine glasses, you mosey over to his living room to look out the window. As he pours the wine he steals glances at your back, sadness, gratefulness, and relief washing over him.

He finishes filling the two glasses and almost sprints to you, handing you your glass.

You take a small sniff before a smile dances across your lips. "You know my favorite wine better than I do."

"Of course," Namjoon huffs, a small smile on his face. "I know everything about you," his smile drops a little as he says that. "At least I want to. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you nod, taking a sip from your glass.

"Why aren't you close with your parents?"

Your lips part as the question catches you off guard, and he notices.

"Ah, if you're not comfortable talking about it I understand," he backtracks. "It's just been on my mind. I want to know everything about you and I realize I never asked enough questions."

"I don't mind talking about it," you say, looking down at your glass. Namjoon gently grabs your hand and leads you to the couch, him sitting with his right knee up on the cushions to face you. He keeps your hand gently in his, giving it enough slack for you to remove your hand if you wanted.

"Everything was fine until my senior year of high school," you say calmly, still looking at your glass. "We were your pretty standard middle class family, not wealthy but we lived comfortably, not worried about where our next meal would come from."

You glance up and see Namjoon's eyes on you, giving his full attention like a golden retriever would.

"One day, out of nowhere, my parents sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce." You feel Namjoon's thumb begin to slide over the back of your hand. "It was really ugly and they both behaved like children, pulling me into their fights and using me as leverage against each other. I still don't even know how or why it happened."

"I'm sorry ba-" Namjoon stops to clear his throat. "I'm sorry [Y/N]."

"It is what it is," you shrug, taking a sip of your wine. "Our last trip as a happy family was to South Korea. So I'm able to hold onto those good memories here."

You let out a small sigh and look out the window. "I don't hate my parents. I hear from them every now and then. But that year was hell. Once I was able to leave the house and go to college, I never looked back."

"I'm really proud of you," Namjoon smiles, surprising you with his words. Most people fill your ears with pity or sadness. "You've really been through a lot. I think you're amazing."

You stare at him, blinking back tears you didn't know were threatening to fall. "Thanks," you whisper, almost inaudibly. The two of you look into each other's eyes for a few minutes without exchanging any words, thousands of emotions coursing through your chests.

Namjoon squeezes your hand in his as he looks down. "Thank you for coming. Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Oh, I almost forgot," you say, setting your glass on the coffee table and walking towards your purse. He watches you as you pick the bag up off the island and bring it over to set it on the table in front of him, seating yourself a little closer to him.

You grab something from inside and slowly pull a small wooden frame out and hand it to him. He looks down and sees different colored lilies pressed into the glass.

"They're the flowers you got me," you smile. "I had some of them pressed and put into a frame."

Namjoon continues to stare down at the glass as his hands start to tremble, not wanting you to see his face. He doesn't want you to see him cry again. He'd decided that he's going to be strong for you.

You stare at the top of his head and reach out and run your fingers through his disheveled hair as you see a tear drop fall and land on the frame.

"Happy birthday," you say softly.

That's all it takes for Namjoon to break down, turning his back to you as he sobs into one hand, his other hand gripping the frame. He wants to apologize for crying but he can't even get a word out as he tries to stifle his sobs.

He flinches as he feels your arms slowly wrap around his waist, pressing your body against his and resting your cheek on his back. Tears run down your face as well, squeezing the gentle giant in your embrace.

Namjoon is able to collect himself after a minute or two, removing your arms so he can turn back to face you. His hands reach up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the tear stains from your skin.

"I know you don't want to talk about it," Namjoon breathes out shakily. "And I'm fine with that. I will wait until you're ready. But please at least let me apologize."

You grip his wrist and nod as he holds your face.

"I'm really sorry, [Y/N]. I mean it." His eyes are so full of sincerity and regret it makes your stomach turn. "I'm so sorry for hurting you." You know in your soul he means every word of it.

The tears stream down your face again as you hold his gaze. "I'm sorry too," you choke out.

He swallows you into a hug, stroking your hair as you cry into his shoulder. "I love you. And I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to do whatever I have to do to win you back." You grip his t-shirt as you cry a little harder.

He holds you there for a few minutes, this time you being the one that has to calm down. You pull back and look into his eyes.

"Let's go to your room," you say to him.

He looks at you like you've just given him a complex math equation.

"Nothing is going to happen," you laugh. "But no offense, you look like shit. You need to sleep."

You stand up and lead him into his bedroom, Namjoon gripping the pressed flowers as close as he can to his body. You crawl onto the bed and pat the spot next to you.

"Come on," you say softly. "I'll leave once you fall asleep."

Namjoon slowly crawls into the bed, not sure how he's supposed to sleep when his heart's almost beating out of his chest. He rests his head against his pillow as you're leaned up against his headboard.

"Don't sleep with it, you're going to break it," you giggle, taking the frame from him and setting it on his nightstand.

He stares up at you with big and shiny eyes, looking at you like you hung the moon.

"Thank you," he says. "This is the best birthday ever."

"I don't know about that," you snort, beginning to run your hand through his hair. "I didn't do much. But I'm glad you like the present."

He feels his eyelids getting heavy as your hand lulls him to sleep. One last tear falls from his eye as he starts to slump against the mattress, finally getting a full night's sleep for the first time in weeks.

_________________

Chappy 51 ~

I made myself cry writing this, when y/n said happy birthday

RIP my sanity