• • •

I'd like to think of myself as a very understanding person.

However, as I sat in my living room staring straight ahead at the men who occupied the chairs opposite of me, I couldn't understand why the fuck they were in my house.

Garrett was on his phone as usual and the lawyer tugged at his tie uncomfortably.

I shifted so that my leg was no longer under Jaxon's hand, waiting until I heard his explanation before wanting him to touch me.

When I asked him to explain over the phone, he only

told me minor details, saying he felt a full explanation would better be done in person.

When I got home, I opened my door to see them sitting there causally. Before we could start talking, Garrett took a phone call.

That was 20 minutes ago.

I was beyond annoyed at this point, so I sighed loudly, "Are we talking today or tomorrow?"

"I'm going to have to call you back." He spoke calmly into the receiver while staring at me, "Another one of Jaxon's messes I have to clean up."

Boy fuck you.

He hung up and looked at Jaxon expectantly, "Well?"

"Did I not tell you I wasn't willing to have sex with that girl?"

He'd already told me that over the phone, that his dad told him to do it, and he said no.

"I don't see why you thought you had a choice in the matter." He replied, "Your job is on the line, you'll do whatever to make sure this doesn't make it up the chain."

Jaxon let out a humorless laugh, "I'm a grown ass man. I'll be damned if I let you sit here and tell me who to have sex with."

"You've made that perfectly clear when you continued to see Kyser against the advice of everyone you know."

I didn't like Garrett in the slightest bit. Besides his obvious dislike for me, it seemed as if he talked down to Jaxon, like he had to do whatever he said.

"So I don't understand why you would book a room and tell her I'd be there."

The lawyer cleared his throat, "We just thought we'd treat it like the rest of your sex life. Send her the same place you saw everyone else."

"You work for my father, not me. Shut the fuck up until I speak to you."

I'd never heard him talk like that to anyone but I strangely enjoyed it.

He started back pulling on his tie while Garrett crossed and uncrossed his legs, "All of this is moot, the young lady will be waiting for you tomorrow afternoon."

Oh so she's the young lady but I'm the prostitute?

"Figure something else out. I only invited you here so that Kyser would know I wasn't lying to her. You can leave now."

Garrett stared at me, "You'd be willing to let him lose his job, everything he's worked for, because you're being selfish?"

Before Jaxon and I acknowledged we loved each other, I didn't feel 'comfortable', for lack of a better word, telling him that I didn't want another woman touching him.

Now I felt I had that right.

"Would your wife want you to do it?" I asked.

"I'd never put myself in such a position that she'd ever be faced with the dilemma."

I shrugged, "My answer is still no."

He looked to Jaxon then, "What's one more woman?"

Jaxon stood up, "Get out."

They rose with him, Garrett shaking his head, "You fix it then, and it better not make it out."

No more words were exchanged as they left my apartment, closing the door softly behind them.

The silence was deafening as he looked at the closed door for a while before turning to me, "Are you happy now?"

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"They came over and told you what you wanted to hear, since you wouldn't have believed me had I told you myself."

I couldn't quite place his voice, but I felt like there was irritation in it, which I found to be odd. I was the one who should've been irritated. A woman approached me, telling me she was about to have sex with him, what the hell was I supposed to do?

"Well, you're sketchy."

It's comical that I still don't trust him completely.

Up until this point, there's been no proof that he was lying to me. It wasn't like I went looking for way to disprove him, but still.

"Jaxon you lied on the phone in front of me." I continued, "You acted as if you didn't know what Carmen wanted."

He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, "Because I was taking care of it. Not to mention you probably would've assumed that I wanted to fuck her."

"No, I would've assumed that you're an honest person. But now I'm wondering what else you lie about and hide from me."

"What more do I have to do?" Jaxon asked with anger in his tone, "I tell you I love you every day, I show you I love you everyday, and you still don't trust me."

I stayed quiet at first, trying to assess just how angry he was before responding, "Trust is earned."

"And I haven't done shit to not earn it."

"Your permanently silenced phone has entered the chat."

That was just the tip of the iceberg.

His phone was grabbed from the coffee table, "Would you like to go through it together? Take it with you? Because at this point what are we doing if you believe a man, who clearly doesn't like you, over me?"

"You can follow that man in leaving." I replied as I walked to the door, "Bye."

"Do you not see how that would piss me off? I'm willing to give you everything, whatever you want, and all I ask in return is that you love me, trust me."

Everything in my life right now was happening back to back, one after another.

And I was just so fucking tired.

"I just need time alone." I said with my eyes on the wall, "Can we talk tomorrow?"

He shook his head but otherwise said nothing, stopping in front of me at the door to kiss my cheek, and exit.

How can you want to be alone, yet be scared of being lonely?

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