• • •

I was scared to walk further into the house, yet I knew I needed to.

The direction from which the smell wafted was down the hall. Taking a deep breath, I began the walk, looking in every room until I finally made it to my grandma's.

Pushing it open, the air left my lungs.

Because nothing could've prepared me to see my nephew lying lifeless on the bed.

My feet were frozen in their spot, staring at his body, which was swollen to almost double, if not triple, his original size.

The dried blood encrusted around his nostrils.

And the most disturbing to me, his eyes which bulged from their sockets.

The vomit came out before I could even begin to make it to the bathroom, violently spewing from my mouth.

I'd never get that sight, this scent, out of my head.

The fact that I needed to call the police occurred to me, so I turned my back on my nephew, pulling my phone from my pocket to make the call.

I could barely get the words out, the gut wrenching sobs making it hard for the operator to understand me.

The door was never closed behind me, so there was no need to knock when they arrived. An officer crouched beside me, asking if anyone else was in the home.

Only then did I realize my grandma, the one I'd originally came looking for, was nowhere to be found.

"You have no idea where she is?" He asked again.

"Is that not what I just said?" I snapped, annoyed that he kept repeating the same question.

He stood up then, going to whisper to the other officers in the room.

I leaned against the wall, praying that this was just a bad dream and I'd wake up with my nephew's life restored.

"Ma'am." The officer called, getting my attention, "We got in contact with the hospital and it looks like your grandma is a patient there."

A day that just keeps getting worse.

• • •

Apparently my grandma had been in the hospital for a week, with Paisley being the one who checked her in.

So that pretty much concluded for me that Jr had been...gone for a week.

I called Paisley's phone literally 100 times, each call going to voicemail after a few rings. Nasir sat beside me, calling around to see if anybody had heard from her.

"Ky, Eric said he saw her at the gas station yesterday." He told me, "He said she looked bad."

Well I'd look bad too if my son was dead and I didn't do shit about it.

"Go get you some food or something."

"I'm fine." I replied as I ran the pads of my fingers under my eyes.

Just the thought of eating made me want to vomit again.

Out of habit, I pressed Paisley's contact, not expecting her to actually answer.

So I thought I was hallucinating when she answered, "Kyser I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" I asked in disbelief, "Your fucking son is dead and you're sorry?"

She was apologizing to me as if she owed me that when the only person she needed to apologize to wasn't here anymore.

The sweetest little boy I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing, and she couldn't do something as simple as make sure he was properly cared for.

"Drew did it." She continued to cry, "I asked him to watch Jr while I took grandma to the hospital."

Drew was the guy who sat on our couch that afternoon while Paisley and Jr's dad argued in the hallway.

"He said he wouldn't stop asking for food and there wasn't anything there to cook. It was an accident though Kyser I swear."

So he killed a four year old boy because he was hungry.

And she was defending him.

"Paisley, why wouldn't you call the police? What is wrong with you?"

"He was gone when I got back!" She yelled, "They would've thought I did it!"

"How would you have done it if you were at the hospital?"

She was trying to come up with an excuse for leaving him there alone when he needed his mother.

I kept trying to push down the feelings of guilt that I felt for leaving him too. I knew the kind of person Paisley was and I still disappeared for a month without checking in on him.

"Demetrius heard about it and is looking for me. I'm scared Ky."

"Do you expect me to feel bad for you?" I asked incredulously, "I hope he finds you and leaves you exactly how you left Jr."

Nasir looked at me briefly before directing his attention back to his phone.

She hung the phone up then, likely going to wallow in self-pity as if she deserved sympathy from anyone.

"Did you want me to stay?" Nasir asked.

Though I didn't want to be alone, We'd already been here for a couple of hours and I didn't want him to stay if he didn't want to, "You can go."

He reached to give me a hug, holding on longer than usual, "Call me if you need me."

I knew who I wanted to be comforted by.

As Nas walked away, I called Jaxon, hoping he'd pick up. Relief flooded through me when I heard his voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Are you still busy?"

"I am." He replied, "Did you need something?"

Maybe it was selfish of me to take him away from whatever he was doing, but I wanted him with me.

"I need you." I whispered.

Jaxon didn't respond immediately, making me think he was going to say he couldn't make it, "Give me about 10 minutes and I'll be on the way."

"Thank you."

As I made my way down the hall, I paid no attention to the look I was given by the woman who walked past me.

If only I'd turned around to see her go into the freshly deserted room of my grandma.

__________

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