• • •

I sat in my car, staring aimlessly out of the windshield.

The sad truth was that I had no where to go.

Nasir was with his mom, and Ava with her parents. There wasn't anyone else I could think of to call on Christmas.

Waffle House is open, I thought, I could go there and eat to pass time.

Yelling alerted me to the children running outside to play with their toys they'd received today. I found myself hoping that cling to their innocence, happiness, in the years to come.

As I moved to push the button to start my car, I received another message from Jaxon asking if I was enjoying my day.

I debated if I should be truthful or not. I didn't want to seem as if I was expecting him to fix my problem, but I also wanted a friend to talk to.

So I responded with a 'No'.

He called me within the next few minutes.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately.

"My sister stole money from me so I moved out." I replied, "Now I don't have anywhere to go."

I don't know why I added the last part since I fully intended on getting a hotel until I found an apartment. I was just feeling sorry for myself.

There were people laughing in his background so he was with his family, enjoying the holiday.

Lucky him.

"Where are you now?"

"Still outside my apartment."

His voice went lower as he told someone he'd return shortly. They asked where he was going but he ignored them telling me, "Meet me at our hotel."

I agreed and hung up.

• • •

"Why didn't you call the police?" Jaxon asked as he opened the room door.

Typical.

"I don't know. If she goes to jail, who's gonna watch my nephew?"

He didn't answer, setting the bags he'd gotten out of my car down. I looked over his clothes, snickering at the sweater and button-down he was wearing.

"Do you own a pair of jeans?"

"I do." He replied looking down at his clothes, "I usually wear them during scenes."

I followed him into the bedroom, taking off my jacket, "Speaking of scenes, when are we doing one?"

At this point, I was starting to wonder if we'd ever try again after the last fiasco.

"You don't even know how a scene works." He laughed.

"Yeah because you won't show me or you don't talk about it."

He examined my face, "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay I'll show you. Are you busy Saturday?"

"No." I answered excitedly, happy that I was finally making progress towards actually doing this.

"Then we'll go to a party."

The excitement was replaced with nervousness.

I knew he meant a play party, where people who practice BDSM go to converse and/or participate in, or watch, scenes.

"Aren't they invite only?" I asked.

"You'll be my plus one."

"So you were going anyway?"

He nodded, "I planned on it."

Just leave me out then.

Jaxon stood by the door, watching me move around the room. I was then reminded that he wasn't staying.

I wanted him to stay so I wouldn't be alone, but I didn't wanna ask in case he said no.

I looked at the floor, "Thanks for meeting me. You can leave if you want."

My voice had the slightest hint of sadness to it, only enough that he could detect it, and offer to stay.

Normally, I'm not into manipulating people, but this was different. Nobody deserved to be alone on one of the most family oriented holidays of the year.

I wasn't surprised that it worked.

"I actually don't have anywhere to be. Let me make a call really quick and I'll be back."

He walked out of the room while I grabbed the remote and looked for a movie to watch.

• • •

"So where is the party?" I asked him while my head rested on his chest.

I could still feel his heartbeat pounding faster than normal under my ear.

His arm wound around my waist, bringing me closer, "It's at a friend of mine's house."

"How many 'friends' do you have?"

"The term is used loosely." He explained, "I actually don't have many friends."

"Really?"

Before I knew him, I wouldn't have been surprised that he didn't have any. But now that I'd seen a different side of him, I didn't understand why.

Jaxon nodded, "Really. It's just mainly my family and I."

"Why?"

"I just don't like people all that much."

"I'm happy to have made the cut for Jaxon's actual friend list."

He laughed and looked at me, "You've made many of my lists."

"Tell me more. I need the validation." I joked.

His phone began vibrating against the night stand before he could continue. To my surprise, he made no move to answer it.

"Aren't you going to see who it is?"

"I'm sure it's no one important."

That answer just screamed I'm hiding something. Jaxon had never given me a reason to question the things he'd told me, so I tried to push it away.

But I couldn't.

"You never know. You should check." I said as I rolled over and grabbed it.

Rachel.

He watched my face, "As I said, no one important."

"Why is she calling you on Christmas?" I wondered.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

She did seem a little off. Maybe she wanted the same thing I did: to be with him.

"Am I missing something between the two of you?" I asked, "I feel like there's a history there."

"Rachel wants..." He trailed off to collect his thoughts, "To be all that I want."

So do I.

"What do you want?"

His gaze locked with mine, his eyes piercing, "Not her."

I'm sure I was reading too much into it since he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship with me.

But he never said he didn't want me.

I rested my head back on his chest, continuing our conversation.

_________

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