• • •

The warm water sifted through my toes as I slowly drug my foot back and forth. Jaxon was beside me, practicing the same motions as I was with his feet.

We'd been here for three days now and I never wanted to leave.

The island was beautiful, the weather was perfect, everything was peaceful. It was a romantic dream.

"I love it here." I told him, my voice almost a whisper, as if anything louder would somehow ruin the calm.

"I'm glad." He responded in the same tone.

I glanced up at the shriek of a woman's husband throwing her into the water. When she broke the surface, she was laughing, happily swimming back to her bungalow.

Everyone here appeared to be a couple, which made sense since Tahiti was a very popular couples attraction. It just made me wonder why Jaxon would come here by himself.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You said you come here every year right?"

He nodded his head, "Around Christmas. I don't have any work obligations and I like the weather."

"Did you really come alone?"

I watched as his foot broke the pattern it had been going, my question catching him off guard.

"You don't have to tell me." I said, "I was just curious is all."

Jaxon rubbed his face, "I came alone last year."

"And the year before that?"

"I came with a friend."

Probably Rachel's weird ass.

She seemed like the type to come on these trips with him, walking around wanting to give the waitresses head.

That was uncalled for, I thought to myself.

Sighing, I leaned back onto the palms of my hands and looked towards the sunset.

Three days and I wasn't any closer to being in a relationship with him. The highschool boys are much easier than this.

I would've just asked but if his response embarrassed me I'd probably drown myself, and I wanted to enjoy the rest of the vacation.

Fuck it.

"Where do you see yourself in like a year?" I questioned.

A subtle queen.

"I should be going for my Ph.D by then." He replied, "You?"

"I'm not sure. Still in undergrad, maybe in a relationship with someone."

I swore I saw him grimace slightly before it went away.

"Kyser, I don't do relationships." He started slowly, "I don't see this leading to a relationship."

Hello, God? I'm ready any day now.

My face burned in embarrassment and I didn't even begin to know what to say.

"I'm truly sorry if I gave you that impression. I genuinely enjoy your company, and I think you're a wonderful person, but that's not what I'm looking for right now."

I nodded and cleared my throat, "It's fine. At least you're honest."

It was my fault for thinking that this was anything more then us having fun.

"Ia Ora na!" Came the cheerful greeting of the staff member who had brought us our dinner for the evening.

Jaxon stood up and walked inside while I wished a shark would come eat me.

• • •

A few days later

"I feel like, at least he didn't ignore your hints and turned you down before you got really into it." Nas said.

"Same." Ava agreed, "Why are you getting your feelings involved in a job anyway? Just go with the flow Ky."

I'd invited the both of them to have lunch with me so I could tell them what happened.

After Jaxon's confession, the rest of the trip was awkward for me. He went to great lengths to stay on his side of the bed at night, and our conversations weren't the same.

I blew out a breath, "What if he doesn't wanna do the arrangement anymore?"

When I brought up the prospect of a relationship, it was because I thought we were on the same page. Now that I knew we weren't, he might wanna back out since he thought I wanted to be with him.

"I doubt it. He's too nice to do something like that. Just don't bring it up again."

He was extremely nice and I don't think he'd just abruptly end everything.

I took a sip from my drink, looking at the empty plate in front of me.

"Maybe it's because he's still your professor?" Nasir suggested.

"The semester is over. He's not my professor anymore."

"Maybe because he's the senator's son?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

His eyes went to Ava, "He might have to keep up a certain.... image?"

Oh.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm sure he can be with a black woman Nas. It doesn't have anything to do with race, I think it's just that he doesn't want to be with her."

"You say that like he wanted to be with you." Nasir laughed.

That made her be quiet.

Wow, I love him.

"Anyway," He continued, "Have you talked to him since you've been back?"

"Nope. But it's the holidays you know? That's family time."

We had gotten back two days ago, 4 days before Christmas. I'd assumed he was probably busy doing things with his family.

Ava nodded, "Speaking of family, how's yours?"

My grandma and I weren't exactly talking. I stayed in my room all day and she pretended I wasn't there

Paisley came over to drop Jr off for a 'few hours' which turned into a whole day. He was hungry and my grandma was sleep, so he came and asked me to make him something.

Once he was done, we started playing with one of games that was supposed to help improve his social skills.

During that, my grandma came into the living room, saw me there, and turned around.

"We're fine." I lied with a smile.

______

author's note: don't be mad at jaxon lol. he's not ready for a relationship

thanks for reading 💕