• • •

It was now 3am and I'd been trying to fall asleep since we came back here.

Jaxon stayed awake for a little while, attempting to talk to me until I basically told him to leave me alone. I thought I wanted time to myself, but the quiet room did nothing but add to the feelings of sadness.

I sat up slowly, trying not to disturb him as I left out of the room, heading for the bathroom to run a bath in the hopes that it would aid me in falling asleep.

As I watched the water run, I thought back to the earlier ordeal, wishing I would've not tried to eavesdrop, packed quicker, anything so that I wouldn't have run into Paisley.

It didn't surprise me that she told her. She'd probably known for a while, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring it up.

I also wasn't surprised at my grandma's reaction. As a parent, who wants to not only find out that their child is selling herself, but that the man she's selling herself to is sitting in your living room at that moment.

That still didn't make it hurt any less for me.

Plenty of times I didn't want to go to have sex with random people, but I also didn't want to be cold at night because the power was off and the light company wouldn't give us another extension.

I didn't want to play dead for some fat ass man, but I also didn't want to open the fridge and not see any food because what we could afford to buy was barely enough for us, yet Paisley found herself eating it.

So no, it's not what I wanted to do, but rather what I needed to do to make a better life for not just me, but all of us.

That 'us' used to include Paisley but now she can choke.

The water was doing it's intended job of making me feel at peace when Jaxon knocked on the door, "May I come in?"

"Sure."

He leaned against the door, watching me swirl the suds around with my fingertips.

"I was around 20 when I realized I didn't much care for vanilla sex."

Does he not know how to build up to conversations?

I looked at him, "Was COMS101 not a part of your required classes for a degree?"

The beautiful smile I've grown to love flashed across his face, "I don't see the point in procrastination."

When I kept quiet, he continued, "So, I would have sex, but not cum, needing to watch porn or something to finish. The girl I was with, didn't uh, appreciate that, which led to many arguments until I told her what I liked."

I was caught up in the story, eagerly awaiting to hear what he'd say next.

"Long story short, I became more invested and she became.... less invested. She agreed to try, and it was a shit show so she then agreed for me to find someone who'd be open to it."

"So," I tried to make sure it came out right, "Your girlfriend agreed for you to have sex with someone else?"

There's no way. If we clearly don't like the same things then goodbye

"It's more common than you think Kyser."

"Was she white?"

His silence answered that for me.

"Yeah, not common at all." I laughed.

Something on his face changed, "Regardless of her race, is it that bad that she loved me enough to want me to find someone who enjoyed the same things as me?"

Uh, yes.

"How about you just finish the story." I suggested, not wanting to make him upset and stop talking.

"I found submissives and we went from there. Everything was fine until she got jealous, saying I spent more time with them."

Jaxon looked at the me, his facial expression blank, "I loved her so I stopped. For years I did what she asked me to until I couldn't do it anymore.

"So you started paying women?"

"I paid one woman. She was more experienced than me, taught me a lot of shit. I even thought I was in love with her."

Damn he just loves everybody.

"Then she blackmailed my family into giving her money."

I looked at him in shock, though I'd already suspected this, "Are you serious?"

"Yes. That's why Cheyenne was so concerned about if I'd had you sign papers."

"How would she blackmail your family though? You hadn't gotten your inheritance by then right?"

"My father is Garrett Carter. She knew he'd find the money."

Like most millennials, the only election I really paid attention to was the presidential election.

But I still knew who my state's senator was.

"Your dad is the senator?"

He nodded.

His dad wasn't in the picture I'd seen in his home so I wouldn't have known from that.

My mouth opened and closed as I tried to think of what to say next.

I don't know why he thought it'd be a good idea to tell me all of this right now, but my head was spinning as I tried to grasp all of it.

"She recorded us and sent it to my father's office, who then, for some unknown reason, watched it with my mother."

"So they watched you have sex?" I asked.

"They watched me tie and, in their words, beat a woman."

Yikes.

"The point in me telling you this." He said, "Is that my dad was pissed at me. We didn't talk for almost a month, but we got over it because that's what family does."

Yeah but he wasn't just outed as being a prostitute.

"I feel like my situation is worse than yours."

He sighed, "So you have sex for money. It's just like having sex for free but you get paid."

How can something sound so stupid and smart at the same time?

"Wow, I feel so much better."

"You're welcome for my service."

I laughed as I let the water out out of the tub and stepped into the shower, "Take a shower with me."

Jaxon silently entered, enveloping me into a hug.

We stood there for a while before he pulled away to look at me, "It doesn't make you any less of a person Kyser."

I so badly wanted my grandma to see that.

_________

thanks for reading 💕