The next day after exams, I went to the store to buy Jr new clothes on my own.

It made no sense to continue giving his mother money, seeing that she wasn't using it for its intended purpose.

I'd tried explaining that to my grandma, and she said she knew, yet still continued to do it. She was an enabler, plain and simple, aiding Paisley in being the shittiest mother she could possibly be.

There have been many conversations where I attempt to convince her to put her foot down only for her to tell me, "We don't give up on family."

What if family has already given up on themselves? On their child?

I sat the bags on the floor, going into the kitchen to look for food when there was a knock on the door. My grandma was still in the living room so I didn't bother going to open it.

Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out the materials to make myself a sandwich. I would've ignored the conversation happening in the living room if it weren't for the call of my grandma asking me to bring her purse.

If it's Paisley I swear to God.

When I saw who it was, I would've preferred Paisley.

Our neighborhood's version of a pawn shop, Jeremiah. He would give you money for your belongings then sell it back to you at a higher price if you were interested.

I'd never bought nor sold anything from him because I thought he was a trash person to take advantage of people's obviously desperate need for money.

I was unsure as to why he was now standing in our living room.

"Yes ma'am, I gave her the money last week and she told me you'd have it for me on the 3rd." He said as he rubbed his hands together.

Clearly referring to Paisley, and my grandma's disability check. The 3rd was yesterday so his timing was probably so that he could ensure she would have gotten money from the bank by now.

"How much did you give her?" I asked in an annoyed tone. He knew damn well how Paisley was, so he knew that my grandma wouldn't have agreed to pay him on her behalf.

"$500."

I closed my eyes in anger.

She only got around $900 a month. $900 measly dollars which barely served to pay for shit in this house.

The highest bills in the house were paid by me, the remaining money put aside for my tuition. Majority of her money went to the rest of the bills and being a piggy bank.

"It's okay Ky I'll just pay him."

I ignored her and went to the back, reaching into my closet where I had some money stashed, counting out the amount Jeremiah had asked for.

When I gave it back to him I made sure to let him know, "We don't pay Paisley's debt over here. If she tells us any different, she's lying."

He didn't seem to care about what I'd said and walked out of the house, leaving our door wide open.

"Dirty bitch." I mumbled as I closed it.

My grandma didn't say anything else as I went back to the kitchen to finish preparing my sandwich.

• • •

Later that night, I stood in Walmart looking for something to satisfy my late night cravings.

My cart already consisted of chocolate and other unhealthy foods that I'd spend time in the gym making up for tomorrow.

As I reached into the cooler to grab popsicles, Ava appeared behind me, "Hi Kyser."

I jumped slightly, dropping the box I was holding onto the floor. After retrieving it I looked at her, "You know I hate when people do that."

She laughed, "I'm sorry. I was just excited to see you."

It's been a literal day since we'd last spoken.

As I put the box back in the cooler for another one, and began walking towards the front, She continued to talk, "I really am sorry. I know I should've defended you and I will if another opportunity presents itself."

She went to the self-checkout stand next to and started to ring up her items as well.

"We can hang out sometime this weekend if you want?" Ava suggested with a hopeful look on her face, "Matt's out of town again and I don't have any clients."

The ending of her sentence caught my attention, "You don't have any clients?"

"I'm cutting back." She explained.

Cutting ba- doesn't she mean cutting off? There's literally a man who loves her and is willing to give her the world yet she wants to have meaningless sex with strangers who wouldn't give a fuck if she died tomorrow.

"Ava," I sighed while putting a hand over my face, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I want to describe what came out of her mouth as a giggle but she mainly sounded like an evil witch.

"Nothing. Just because I'm engaged doesn't mean I can't have fun."

"Have fun with your fiancé sweetie. That's who you have fun with."

She rolled her eyes, "You worry too much. I'm stopping after this month."

I didn't believe her for a second. She had either deliberately, or unintentionally lost herself in the lifestyle and didn't want to break away.

The gifts, money, and worthless affection sucking her in.

"Whatever you wanna do." I shrugged, "I see you're not gonna listen."

I collected my bags from the stand and began walking towards the door, genuinely not caring if she was behind me or not. I'd never seen someone throw something good away like she was doing right now.

Was I jealous? No. Annoyed? As hell.

The fact that she didn't even care about the man but was about to marry him, and likely break his heart when he found out, nagged at me, making me feel like she wasn't that good of a person.

But who am I to judge?

___________

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