I stared at my wet body in the mirror, cursing myself for having flashbacks before our date. I had scratches down my forearm from the panic attack I just pushed myself through, and was incredibly close to trying to find someone to hold me down.

It was bad sometimes, because I knew when they were coming. I always used to have Summer hold me down with her hands so I wouldn't scratch at myself, but she wasn't here this time, and I couldn't handle it.

I'm trying, but sometimes it wasn't enough.

I sighed as I wrapped the towel around me, rubbing away the remaining tears from my eyes. I quickly dried my hair with the hair dryer, letting my dark hair curl naturally before pinning a few a few pieces back. I left a few of the small curvier pieces around my face, before putting on my makeup.

I left it a bit natural, contouring a bit more than I usually would've before finishing my eyebrows. I smiled at myself in the mirror, noticing how my eyes seemed to not be as dull as they usually were. I left my contact out, considering I knew how much Damien liked my natural eyes.

My dress was a dark green long sleeve velvet dress with a black lace trim, my tattoos still in hiding it seems. I slipped on black toms, heels were my personal death trap that I wasn't looking for today, and put on the millions of rings I loved to wear.

The door opened as I stood up, Charles and Joey walking in. Their eyes bugged out as they looked at me, causing a huge laugh to leave my mouth. I guess they weren't used to not seeing me in leggings and loose sweaters. I actually showed off my curves in this dress, and put effort in shaving my legs.

That's a big one, I swear.

"Whoa whoa, eyeballs?" I rolled my eyes as I pushed a few curls back, nodding to them.

"These are my real eyes, I usually wear contacts so people don't stare. But uh, what do you think of my dress?"

"Wow, you look, you really look beautiful." My smile faltered a bit as my eyes dropped to my feet, a red blush spreading across my cheeks.

When was the last time I had been called beautiful? Probably when my dad was alive, and my mom wasn't a huge alcoholic. A cough brought me out of my thoughts as I looked up to fine Joey and Charles looking at me with concern, a fake smile plastering on my face as I tried to not let them see through my walls.

"Sorry, got lost in my thoughts. But you really think so?" They both nodded as they looked at me, Joey taking the lead and opening the door.

Charles walked beside me down the hallway, both of us a few feet behind Joey. I leaned closer to his ear when I was sure Joey wouldn't be able to hear, his body stiffening a bit as my close proximity. "Are you going to tell him tonight?"

"Wouldn't you prefer I do that on a different night, you know, one where you're not having a date?" I shrugged as we began to make our way down the stairs.

"I'd rather get everything out in the open, because no offense, I don't think anything will come of it. I just want you more open and happy, and not biting my head off every second." He sighed once we finally hit the ground floor, Joey opening the front door for us.

Damien looked absolutely beautiful in dress pants and a white button down shirt, and I swear to god I felt horny at the very sight of him. This wasn't good, this wasn't good at all.

I smiled and blushed sheepishly when I saw his awed expression, his mouth slightly open and his eyes taking in all of me. It felt wonderful to be actually thought of like that, to be seen as beautiful in someone else's eyes that weren't your parents or your best friends.

"Have her back by midnight you hear?" I rolled my eyes at Joeys childish antics, his arms crossed as he pretended to be my overprotective brother that I never had apparently.

"Joey," I groaned out, his scowl turning into an amused smile as he looked at me before turning back into a mock scowl.

"No sex or I'll get my shot gun." I rolled my eyes as Damien laughed, his hand brushing against my arm before resting on the small of my back. Charles looked at his hand painstakingly, and I had no idea how I didn't figure it out sooner.

"Joey, you don't even own a shot gun. If you're going to threaten me, threaten me with one of the many hand grenades you have." Damien spoke as his body inched closer to me, almost as if it was a reflex.

Joey just simply suck his tongue out at Damien before ushering us inside of Damien's Bentley, my eyes taking in the impressive leather seats. It smelt of Damien's musk and cologne, and I took the time it took Damien to walk around to the drivers side to inhale as much of his smell as possible.

He shifted the car into drive and I found his hand resting in mine on top of my thighs, the occasional brush of skin sending my heart into a frenzy. Goosebumps erupted across me, causing me to roll my lip in between my teeth. As we came to a red light, he took his hand out of my grasp and pried my lip form my teeth, his eyes trained on me.

"Don't do that until I can do something about it." I must've looked like a mere cat or an owl, because my eyes widened so much it caused him to chuckle.

He turned back to the road when the lift turned green and his hand found sits way back into mine, my fingers absentmindedly playing with his. His hand was worn and gruff, about to callouses on the edge of it. As he pulled into a restaurant that was way fancier than I had requested, I lifted his hand and placed kisses all along the tips of his fingers before opening the door and getting out on my own accord.

To say he was dazed was an understatement.

I smiled as I walked into the restaurant and heard his hurried steps behind me, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist. He dipped closer to my ear, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine.

"That wasn't very nice to leave me all alone." I smirked as I twisted my head, inching very close to his lips.

"Then you should've hurried up." I spoke almost against his lips, moving away just as he moved to touch his with mine. I smirked as he let out a growl, grabbing his hand as pulling him to the hostess.

"Name?" She was a very chipper blonde, with a light splash of freckles all across her cheekbones.

"Asher." Damien had such an authoritative tone to him, both in his voice and his demeanor. I guess that kinda came with being a gang leader, which I presumed I still needed to have that conversation with him.

The blonde led us through the throng of busy tables, people laughing and drinking probably way too much wine. I scrunched my face in confusion when we didn't stop until we came to two large doors, my eyes looking back up to Damien. He simply smiled at me with an amused grin and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, leaning down a bit to kiss my temple.

The doors opened to a private balcony, little lit up lanterns strung along with candles blowing from the wind. My mouth opened in shock, as red head spread over my cheeks. I looked up to Damien who was watching me intently, his face a bit hesitant before he spoke.

"Do you like it?"

"Holy shit, do I like it?" He grinned before kissing my temple again, his fingers tracing along my skin as he led me to the table.

We sat down just as a waiter quickly walked over, pouring us a bottle of champagne into two flutes. I looked up to Damien with raised eyebrows while the waiter rattled off the list of entrees for tonight, before just telling the waiter to get me a burger.

I'm really not much of a filet mignon type of girl.

Damien just laughed at me before he ordered some fancy French dish that I wouldn't be able to pronounce, the waiter nodding while looking at both of us before sending me a not so subtle wink, which was kinda creepy.

I looked back to Damien, who had a clenched jaw and fist on the table. I just rolled my eyes and unfurled his hand before putting mine in it, watching as his body relaxed and his eyes met mine.

"It's okay, I'm here with you. Which by the way, champagne? I'm barely 18 you butt." He laughed a booming laugh that I had only heard once or twice, and it sent my heart into absolute overdrive.

"Yes but Champagne is good in general. I see you didn't wear your contacts tonight." He gave me an amused looked before taking a sip from his champagne, as I suddenly wished I was the water dripping down the side of the glass.

Weird, I know.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I avoided his face, my fingers playing along the lace hem of my dress. "I remembered how much you like my natural eyes, so I decided against wearing them."

The way he looked at me after I said that, I felt like I could do anything. I could conquer the world, face my fears, and end it all with ravenous sex with Damien. He looked at me like I was royalty, a god within his grasps, and I never want that to end.

"So tell me your biggest fear." I cut through the silence, his never ending dark eyes boring into me.

"Probably loosing someone I care about again, well, that and swimming with large fish." I laughed loudly as the doors opened again, the waiter coming back out with our food.

I began chowing down on my burger as the waiter handed Damien his steak, before looking back up with my mouth full and my cheeks puffed out to find both of them looking at me. Damien had a grin on his face while the waiter was a bit shocked, guess he never saw a girl eat a burger before.

"That'll be all." Damien quickly dismissed the waiter while I continued to eat my burger, a sigh of contentment leaving my lips. "You never told me what your biggest fear was."

I slowly chewed the rest of my food, trying to prolong the inevitable. How do I tell him how badly scared of gangs I truly am? I mean, he's the fucking leader of one, me telling him that they scare me is me practically telling him he scares me.

But to be perfectly honest, he doesn't. He may act all big and bad, he'll, he is all big and bad, but somehow I seemingly peeled away that layer and situated myself where he was soft and fluffy, like marsh mellows or whipped peanut butter.

Don't knock it till you try it.

"Someone getting hurt because of me, that or being trapped in confined spaces. Although, lady bugs and stuff like that freak me out too." He smiled while we continued to eat, the occasional question between us letting me get to know him deeper.

He loved the ocean, and missed Italy. Apparently his mother lived there, and he's lived here since he was younger without him. That's why him and Joey were so close, he lived with his parents until they turned sixteen and they got their own house.

I told him about my father dying, but skirted around the cause of his death. I told him I lived with my mother by myself, and even told him about Stella. When he asked where she was, I just said, "A better place," and left it at that.

We paid and he led me out the doors into a secluded garden behind the building. He had his arm around me and kept taking peeks at me, which I knew because I kept taking peeks at him. The music from the restaurant played softly, and the flowers around us made me so incredibly happy.

"Fern?"

I looked up to Damien's eyes, which looked almost black in the dark garden. He leaned closer to me before hesitating, looking into my eyes for permission. I nodded slowly before taking the initiation myself and closing the short inches between us, my lips pressing to his.

Good god fireworks weren't even a good comparison. This was cars exploding, Disney at New Years, badass gunfire between two mouths. My mouth moved with his in a way I didn't even know my mouth could move, my hands tangling themselves in his hair, (which was luscious and incredibly soft might I add!)

We only stopped when the cock of a barrel ripped us apart, my eyes widening as I looked down the silver tip of a gun pointed straight for us.

"Well well, looks like Damien found himself a pretty little thing."