I remembered everything that had happened in the ten months; every repeated conversation that Alex had with me, every forced smile when I would ask how he knew so much about me and every day he spent with me.

There was one conversation, however, that rung through my mind every second of every day:

'We fell in love Oak, slowly and beautifully. It was the most beautiful love story ever written'

My heart flipped and dipped and stopped whenever I thought about those words. My entire body lit up as if it were the night sky at new years, a smile would grace my lips and my stomach would erupt with butterflies.

I couldn't forget those words even if I tried.

Those seventeen words and two sentences were the reason why I phoned Morgan in the first place. In truth, I didn't want to hear any kind of excuse. I had been abused by my so called father for eleven years, using the exact same words and more that Alex had spat at me. I didn't deserve to be treated like that and I couldn't talk to someone who reminded me so much of my father.

But then I remembered my birthday, him recreating our picnic and those seventeen words. Why would he say that if he had meant what he said all those months ago? Why would he stick around if he hated me?

I didn't know the answers and, honestly, I didn't know if I wanted the answers.

In the end my curiosity got the best of me and I phoned Morgan. She might have hated him but she wasn't cruel. She knew I needed to know what had happened.

To some, my decision to take Alex back would be seen as stupid and pathetic. How could you take someone back who had looked at you with so much hate and repeated the same words your own father abused you with for years?

The answer was pretty simple actually.

Because it's Alex.

Alex had, respectively, only been in my life a short time compared to Morgan but in that time period, I had put my trust in him and fell in love with him. To me, we were perfect together; the hermit and the workaholic.

With him I wasn't so much of a hermit and with me he wasn't so much of a workaholic. We balanced each other, we unknowingly helped each other and without him in my life I knew I would go back to the person I was. A person I didn't want to be.

You don't notice how far down that hole you are until you've climbed out. I had climbed out once only to find out that I hadn't, not really. I had been resting on a ledge for the past few years until Alex came along.

But with Alex, before everything that had happened, I was out of that hole and I was breathing the fresh air, I was grinning like a fool and I was in love. Now, I'm tottering on the edge, waiting for a hand to help me or a shove that would send me straight back in to that hole.

Even though he hurt and betrayed me in a way that was so personal and heart breaking, I also forgave him with the snap of my fingers. I didn't blame him, I wasn't going to blame him. I knew I didn't need him, I would manage on my own somehow like I had done for years before him but I wanted him and I have never wanted anything in my life.

For once, I wanted to be selfish. I think I deserved to be selfish.

As he said, we fell in love slowly and beautifully. I'm still falling even now.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" His voice cut through my thoughts as we walked together along the canal, hand in hand.

It was October once again. I had lost a year of my life, a stranger had taken over in the last year. My eyes studied every minute detail like I was seeing it for the first time. Every fallen leaf, every strain of grass, every ripple of water, every breath of wind that blew, whipping my brown hair around my face.

The world was anew.

"You. Me. Us." I smiled and glanced up at him. Two years down the line and I still couldn't get used to his huge stature.

"What about 'You. Me. Us'?" He teased lowly, releasing my hand and winding his arm around my waist. He pulled me sharply to his side, smiling and nodding as the cyclist went past with a 'thank you'.

I blushed at our closeness and the lack of attention I held for my surroundings. Warmth erupted from where his arm was, the heat burning through my clothes and spreading throughout my body.

Sighing, I looked forward to where Zeus and Loki were. Loki was trotting his usual trot, his nose to the ground while Zeus stuck to the side of the path, cocking his leg every few metres. "It feels like a stranger has been living my life for the past year. It wasn't me, not really, and I can't help but think that I've missed out on so much."

"That's not your fault." He murmured lowly, his thumb rubbing circles on my clothed hip. His touch left me breathless. "It's-"

"Don't say it's your fault." My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at him, my eyes pleading him to stop with the self torture.

He shrugged, heaving a sigh. "It is. I'm never going to forgive myself."

"I've forgiven you. You can't move on unless you forgive yourself." I knew that better than most. He needed to forgive himself or else it would slowly eat him up, it would consume him and he would lose himself. I speak from experience.

"I just can't get over what I did." He looked forward. It pained him to look at me and remember what he had done, the words he spat at me and glares he sent my way. He remembered how I flinched, the tears that ran down my face because of him and the fear that rolled off me in waves.

"Please try." I whisper in to the wind. "I'm scared that if you don't then 'You. Me. Us' will fail."

A clench of pain stabbed at my heart and I gulped a breath of air to try and numb the pain.

"I'm never letting you go. I'm never hurting you again. I promise you that Oak. Never again." A crease formed between his eyebrows and I raised my fingers, smoothing out the crease. His eyes caught mine and he pulled me to a stop, shifting me so we were standing underneath the skeletal trees.

The wind blew through the dying leaves and the lifeless branches, they rustled in annoyance at the disturbance that awoke them from their slumber. A blur of red, orange and yellow entranced me, the leaves dancing to the tune of the wind as they fell around us in what felt like a perfect circle, creating an invisible curtain between us and the real world.

"I know you won't. I have forgiven you, I don't blame you and I don't hate you. I just love you." I shrugged lightly, smiling up at him.

"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, Oak." He heaved a sigh, his chest moving with the action. "I promise I'll try."

Nodding, I wrap my arms around his waist, nuzzling my head in his hard chest and soft white shirt. "Good."

We remained in each others embrace for a few more seconds before he leaned down, kissing my forehead. We continued on our walk, hand in hand, a permanent smile branded on my lips.

Happiness.

"Move in with me."

My head snapped to him, my eyebrows furrowed as I asked him to say that again as I heard him wrong.

He rolled his eyes with a teasing smile. "Move in with me."

"Your house?" Anxiety bloomed in my chest at the thought of moving in to that dark and threatening house.

I could barely stay the night there and he wanted me to move in with him?

I think that's called a practical joke.

"Nope." He grinned. "We'll buy a new house. Our house. One with a huge garden where the dogs can play. It will have a river near it where we can walk along it just like we do here but there will be far less people, near the countryside and we'll live in our own fairytale. It will be cosy and homely, beautiful and filled with pictures of us and our family. It will be cream and all the furniture inside will be light, tanned, all neutral coloured and every Christmas we will decorate our house together."

I swallowed the anxiety and sent him a small smile. "That all sounds amazing but-"

"Great!" He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my waist once again and leaving it there while we set foot on the field. "That's great and I'm so glad you agree because I've already bought it."

My eyes bulged out of my head while my jaw dropped. "I-I..."

"We can't move in there until after Christmas. It needs decorating but I've already started planning. We'll start our new year together in our new house." He grinned, picking up the ball that Zeus had dropped at his feet with his free hand, chucking it a hefty distance.

"You... bought a house before... I even agreed?" My mind was spinning with thoughts and questions but that's all I could manage to get out.

He had only just asked me that huge question, a question I never thought I would hear in my life and now he was telling me he had already bought a house?

Scratching the back of his neck, he smiled sheepishly. "I got excited after you didn't leave me. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, Oak. We'll do this at your pace."

Instead of melting in a puddle of anxiety or running away with a squeak that most would mistake for a mouse, I smiled up at him and found myself nodding. "I want to. I want to be with you."

His lips upturned in to the most beautiful and breathtaking smile that literally took my breath away. My heart leaped in my chest just from the look of pure happiness in his eyes. I only hoped he could see the reciprocated look in my eyes.

"I love you." He whispered, the words almost being stolen by the harsh wind that attacked us but I managed to catch them.

His lips met mine softly and slowly, the kiss conveying out love and happiness for each other.

"I love you Alex. Loki and I will most definitely move in with you and Zeus in to our new house after New Years."

Our house. Our family. Our dogs. My Alex.

I liked the sound of that.

Since I was seven, every action, word and decision has been thought out, entirely planned and scripted. I had overthought and panicked over every single thing because that's what my anxiety did. It wrecked my life and wreaked havoc, making me question everything in my life. It made me believe I was dying and that I would be alone for the rest of my life.

But for the first time in nineteen years, I did not overthink or question my decision. It was straightforward.

I was going to move in with Alex, I was going to move forward, I was going to be with him and I definitely was going to live happily ever after with my Alex and our dogs.

Forever.