Since my mum died I had separated myself from people. The only people I loved were my family. I cut myself out of the world, truly hating anyone that tried to get close to me.

I lost a part of myself when my mum died.

When I became CEO of King Industries, taking over from my dad, that hate only increased. I realised people only wanted to get close to me because of my power, fame and money. They were using me. They were gold diggers, selfish and fake.

The ice in my heart caused by mums death only spread when I became CEO, the ice spread across my body like a glacier. I was cold hearted, rude, mean and any other negative adjective and verb.

My employees were afraid of me, rightfully so, and I was seen as a cold-hearted monster who made people cry. I was happy with that description, I was proud.

That was until Zeus ran off and started sniffing a small brown and white dog who barely reached his upper thigh and a tiny, brown haired woman with the innocence of a child and the beauty of a goddess but a mouth of an annoying girl who couldn't stop herself from constantly riling me up and asking nosy questions.

That woman was like me, she knew the pain losing a mother installed on your life and she didn't know who I was. She didn't see me as Alexander King, she knew Alex.

This woman loved her dog more than anyone else on the planet. She spent the majority of her life indoors and alone, with no one but her Cocker Spaniel, who was the smartest dog I had ever met. She was ordinary, someone you might walk past and not even notice but when you do notice her, you ask yourself how could you not have noticed her before?

Her anxiety ruled her life. The first time we went on a walk together purposely, she had an anxiety attack. I froze, not knowing what to do or what to say but her dog didn't. As soon as he looked back and saw her hyperventilating on the floor he ran to her, he calmed her and saved her.

As I spent time with her I realised she wasn't the stupid and and annoying girl I thought her to be at first meeting. She was smart, wise, inquisitive, kind, caring when she had no reason to be. She saw the good in people, she saw the good in me. She was the best of humanity and she changed my life.

But then I ruined it. I reverted back to my old self and charged at her without letting her explain. I was living through the pain of losing my best friend and the love of my life but this was so much worse than I could ever have imagined. It was like being shot in the head but the bullet didn't kill me. I was in constant pain, writhing in agony. I lost the love of my life but she was still in front of me, just not knowing who I was.

It was torture. Absolute and agonising torture.

I knew I deserved it though. I caused her pain so this was mine.

"I don't know why we're doing this. It seems stupid." She complained again, her voice whiny and her lips set in a pout.

"It's your birthday." I answer simply, fighting the urge to kiss her pout away.

She huffs. "I don't celebrate my birthday."

I know because you're dad was an alcoholic and abusive prick who didn't let you live your life.

Clenching my fists, I hold back the urge to say anything. "I know." I breathe in slowly. "Last we did this in March because you never told me."

Her face is blank for a second before she nods. "That does sound like me."

"So in March we did this." I gesture to what we're sat on. "We sat on the ground of your apartment on this exact blanket and we ate this exact food and had these exact drinks."

"We did this together? This exact thing?" She clarifies, tilting her head to the side.

I nod, fighting the urge to tuck a lock of brown hair behind her ear. "We did this."

"What did we talk about?"

I clench my fists, remembering how she talked about her mum and I later betrayed her trust by assuming the worst and visiting her father. "I told you about my mum. She died when I was fourteen, in a car accident. I told you I was in the car with her when it happened. I told you how I push everyone away in my life apart from my dad, my sister, her husband, her kids and you. You've met them by the way."

"I met your family?" I nod smiling. "Did they like me?"

"They love you Oaklee. You have the most beautiful heart and soul." I whisper. "You also told me about your mum. You said you were best friends. She used to tickle you when you were sad, you used to go to the park and get ice cream in the summer and she used to read you bed time stories before you went to bed."

Her eyes widen as she stares at me. "I told you all that?" I nod. "Why?"

"Because you trust me." My heart clenched and I cast away the thought about how I betrayed her. "You let me in for some reason and I let you in. We fell in love, Oaklee, slowly and beautifully. It was the most beautiful love story that has ever been written."

Don't fucking cry. You're the CEO of King Industries. You can't cry.

I ruined everything. I betrayed her. I deserve this.

I'll cry when I get home, just not in front of her.

"I wish I could remember."

"Me too." I blink away the tears that start to burn.

"How come I could talk to you? How come I can now?" She questions curiously. "My anxiety..."

Her question stuns me and I don't know the answer. "I'm not sure. You never told me why you could. You weren't comfortable around me but you weren't anxious."

She nods in understanding. "Can I meet Zeus again?"

I smile. "How about I bring him this weekend? We'll go along the canal."

She nods excitedly. "Yea I would like that."

I can't stray my eyes from her, she is the most beautiful and real girl I have ever met.

I will regret my actions for the rest of my life.

As soon as I stepped in to my house the tears started. My eyes wept for the first time since my mom died.

There were no sounds, no sobs, no cries, no screams. Just my silent tears dropping down my cheeks.

I stared blankly at the black TV screen, breathing in and out calm while the teardrops tickled my cheeks.

"Alex?" I ignored my sisters voice. "I know it's hard."

"No you don't." I cut her off, not breaking my staring contest with the TV. "You have no idea how hard it is."

"I have an inkling of what you're feeling..."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes at my sister, instead I grit my teeth. "You have no idea how I'm feeling."

"Tell me then." She pleads. It hurts more because she sounds like my mum, she looks like mum and it hurts even more.

I swallow the sob and look at her, my tears blurring my vision slightly. Her eyes widen at the sight of my wet cheeks and red eyes, at the sheer pain and heartbreak that is displayed clearly on my face. "It hurts." I nod, my lip trembling. "It really fucking hurts and I can't do anything about it but it's my fault. I'm angry at myself. I feel so much guilt." I breathe out, shrugging helplessly. "I fucking hate myself Jada."

She throws her arm over my shoulder, dragging me in to her shoulder when my shoulders shake. "It is your fault. You rushed in and assumed because mums death changed you for the worse. Oaklee was your saviour bro, you two were made for each other." Her words don't make me feel better, they just increase the guilt inside of me. "But you're trying to make it better and when she remembers she'll see that."

"She's going to leave me."

"No she won't." She shakes her head and I nod, denying it. "She loves you and she'll be able to see how sorry you are and how much you love her."

I couldn't help but think how wrong she was. Oaklee was going to leave me the moment she remembered or found out what I did.

"She's going to leave me once she remembers and if she never remembers then she's going to leave me once I tell her." I whisper more to myself than to Jada.

The pain and ache in my chest only increases at that revelation, the certainty in my bones telling me how right I am. She will leave me and I shall be alone again, but this time I will be even more miserable. I will be cold, closed off and heartbroken because of the glimpse of a happy life that Oaklee had provided me with.

A happy life that I ruined in the snap of my fingers.

"You don't know what will happen, Alex. Don't let yourself go down this dark road. We were finally able to see the real Alex returning. Please don't go back... please." I close my eyes at my sisters pleading voice, tears slipping out and slowly falling down my cheek, to my nose until finally taking the plunge off the end and falling on to my sisters top.

If Oaklee leaves me then I'll be worse than I was before. I don't care if that happens, I don't care what happens to me. If Oaklee wants to leave then I won't stop her. I won't ever get in the way of her happiness.

I cried myself to sleep that night, and every single night after that.