《Psycho》Day 7
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One week. It's been one week that I've been working with Jason. One week and there was little to no progress. But for some reason I looked forward to meeting with Jason everyday. It's the most I've ever had to see one patient, as most of the time patients met with me no more than three days a week. But Jason needed more help, he's special.
Jason sat across from me as usual, and I waited for Mack to leave before starting.
"Hello, Jason," I greeted him.
His eyes moved to my neck. "You have bruises."
I closed my eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"They're even shaped like hands..."
"How was yesterday? I didn't get to see you," I changed the subject. Yesterday was Sunday, and I don't work on Sundays unless it's an emergency.
"Strange. It was kind of weird to not see you," he replied honestly.
"Did you feel like you needed to see me? Or relief you didn't have to?" I asked, for some reason hoping he missed me. He didn't respond at first. "Be honest."
Jason shrugged. "I don't know."
"No for sure answer?"
"No!" He snapped.
I sighed, my eyes trailing to his hands. It seemed like he could never be still, fidgeting with either his hands or feet. I realized he was still in handcuffs and it's been a full week.
"How do the handcuffs make you feel?" I asked him, still staring at them.
"The handcuffs?" he questioned. I just nodded in response. "Restricted, sometimes claustrophobic when both my hands and feet are chained. Like I can't move. Annoyed," he described.
"Trapped..." I trailed off, almost in a whisper.
He nodded, huffing. "I just want out! It's only been a week and I feel like I'm going crazy! Like there's no way out!" He raised his voice. He tugged his feet, his chains stopping him. He tugged more in a failed attempt before sitting down, slamming on my desk with his hands, still in cuffs.
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I stared at the cuffs and thought about the key I had, then thinking to a few days ago with Nick. Would Jason do that to me? If he could take innocent lives, he wouldn't mind taking mine, would he?
"I just want out. I'm messed up, I know that already. I don't need to be here, I don't need this!" He snapped, more to himself than me. He was staring at the cuffs too.
"Don't you want to know what it's like to go through life without being on the run? To go out in public without a disguise or travel without a fake ID? To just be..normal? To be free?" I asked him. He looked up at me, staring into my eyes.
"That won't happen," he muttered.
"What about happiness? Don't you want to be happy?"
He looked away, remaining silent for a minute. "All I have in life is bad memories, and I don't want to get my hopes up with happiness only for it to end in disappointment. Not anymore," he said softly.
"Who said it will end in disappointment?" I challenged.
"Who said it won't?"
Now I stared at Jason in silence. He had such a negative view on the world, like he couldn't see the light. I looked down and tried to find the right words. "Look, life isn't perfect. But you can't go through it thinking the worst all the time. Sometimes we need to go through the worst in order to get to the best," I looked up at him. Jason didn't respond, so I glanced up at the clock. "We have twenty minutes left," I stated.
Jason glanced at the clock now too. "Then back to being locked up all day," he sighed, leaning back.
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I bit my lip, knowing this was risky, but also time to do. I pulled out a drawer and grabbed the keys, holding my hand out. Jason looked at my hand, unsure what to do.
"Give me your hands," I instructed.
Jason furrowed his eyebrows but slowly placed his hands on mine. I took a shaky breath as chills went through my body for his touch. I ignored it and showed him the keys.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes focused on the keys.
"I trust you," I stated simply. "Enough that you won't hurt me."
"Even though you were nearly killed a few days ago?" He questioned.
I shrugged. "You're not like Nick."
"Yeah, you're right, I'm worse! I kill people for a living, and have for nearly my whole life!" He raised his voice.
"Are you thinking about killing me?" I raised an eyebrow.
Jason sat there, looking away. "No."
"Have you thought about killing me?" I rephrased.
"No," he looked back up.
"Then why should I think you will? Yes, you've done it in the past, but now it's time to move forward." With that, I used the keys to unlock Jason's handcuffs. There was a moment where both of us just sat there, then I slowly took the handcuffs and moved them aside with the keys.
Jason stared at his hands, then rubbing his wrists. I heard him sigh as he did.
"How about now? Still no thoughts of killing me?" I asked him.
Jason looked up at me, shaking his head. "I have no urge right now."
"When do you get the urge?" I asked.
He shrugged, putting his hands down in his lap. "Mostly when I'm angry. When someone pisses me off or doesn't listen to me," he answered.
I nodded, writing it down and having an idea. I looked up once I was done to see Jason watching me. I set my pen down and blinked a few times. "What?"
"How do you have so much trust?"
"I've spent a week with you, and I figure I should start giving you chances to improve. Or at least make you more comfortable."
"Will my ankles ever be unlocked too?" He asked, a bit of hope in his voice.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I usually don't need need to unlock people's feet, they don't ask by the time I have enough trust in them."
"But what about me?"
I stared at Jason, thinking. I already established Jason was different, maybe this would be another reason why. "We'll see."
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