After me and Clay were done showering, which consisted of me being lazy and him having to help me out, we came back completely spent, put on clothes and fell on the bed.

I have 4 missed calls from George. Gosh dangit.

Before I could call him back, I opened the messages he sent. Maybe I can get away with just texting him, cause I was so tired that even talking seemed like a lot of effort.

are you ok?

I'm never trusting google again

cause of death: popsicles

RIP angel🙏 could've sucked better things

I laughed, not because his joke was funny. Because he had no idea what was going on.

💀I'm okay now dw

I didn't dare to come up with explanations and make myself sound suspicious.

But he called.

I cleared my throat, looking at Clay who was checking the caller's ID with the corner of his eye. I hesitantly picked up.

"Hey." I cleared my throat once again, but it didn't make my voice sound any better.

"You sound hilarious," I heard him laugh through the line and rolled my eyes, "how are you tho?"

"I'm great. Tired, but it's okay," I decided to ignore his remarks about how bad my voice sounded, "what about you? Still busy?"

I really didn't know how to react to the whole George/Clay situation. Both of them were guilty, both of them were acting like actual children, but still both of them had a point. George shouldn't have ignored Clay for two whole days, and Clay shouldn't have blocked George over his stupid jealousy.

I really miss Nick.

"About that.. ahem, uh.." I heard George's hesitant voice and furrowed my brows, "We need to talk. Like.. me and you."

Involuntarily I started pressing the volume key to get the incall volume to the minimum. I didn't have anything to hide, I just didn't want Clay to listen. My conversations with other people are none of his business anyway.

"I'm listening." I readjusted the pillow behind me to sit up straighter than I was before.

"Are you still at his house?" George asked. He didn't even use Clay's name.

"Yeah, why?" I could see Clay trying to seem uninterested by focusing on his phone, but I'm sure he overheard some things. Maybe that's why he looks so serious.

"When are you going back to your place?" George kept going deeper and deeper with his questions.

"Like tomorrow or the day after. Why are you asking?" My words left my mouth against my will.

"I just wanna tell you something, like.. in private." My heart started going crazy from panic. I'm not ready for this.

What if Clay is right afterall? Oh my...

"I- okay," I didn't know if I could take this any longer, "we'll talk when I'm home then."

"Alrighty, let me know when you get back."

I sighed sharply from anxiety and hung up, looking over to Clay who was definitely going to say something. There's no way he doesn't ask.

But the seconds passed, with him not saying a single word. He didn't even look up from his phone.

There's no way he didn't overhear at least the part where George said he wants to talk to me in private. There is just no way-

"Yeah?" He noticed me staring at him and waiting for a reaction.

"Nothing.."

What is wrong with me. And what is wrong with him.

"Wanna sleep?" Clay asked casually. He's really not being himself. Well, this is how a healthy reaction should be - him minding his own business. But why does it feel so wrong?

"Uhm.. I guess..?" What was I even supposed to say at this point.

I mean I could say a few things. And I should say them.

"By the way, did you unblock Geor-"

"Time to sleep."

If he lets me of course. I'm not even gonna bother.

I was in such a bad mood from the whole thing. I just wanted to talk to someone. But that someone was busy being a possessive weird bitch at the moment.

We were lying in the darkness, both awake but not saying or doing anything. The silence got too much. He spoke.

"So you're leaving?"

I sighed, not really wanting to leave but knowing that both of us deserved some space. And during this whole mess, it would be better if we just thought about our future actions without each other's influence. We need this. We need the alone time.

"Yeah. In the morning I think." The fact that he wanted me to move in and I was going to just leave like this made me feel some type of way.

Clay didn't say anything. Even his breathing got silent for a moment, or it was just me overthinking and underhearing things. I don't know, my body doesn't perform well under stress. Or under pressure. Or under influence of alcohol- well, let's just say my body doesn't perform well.

I don't know why I thought he was mad at me. Even if he was, he still hugged me. I felt so small when he did, nuzzling my face in his neck and trying to forget everything that was going on at the moment.

"I won't be there to force you, but I expect you to be good and drink your water."

My heart did a thing from his words.

Am I feeling something?

What am I feeling?

I thought I can't feel.

Haha.

It's just my arrhythmia, right?

"Don't forget to eat properly, your immune system wasn't doing so great the doctor said."

I was about to sob in his arms, but I contained myself and just nodded. It's not even a goodbye, why does it feel like this?

"And you remember the holy trinity?" He asked, and I smiled, remembering the words he said while we were studying.

"Health comes first, school comes second and friends come third," I repeated the order he taught me. And to lighten up the mood, I added something at the end, "And Clay comes last, cause he's a gentleman."

I succeeded. And got a kiss on the tip of my nose.