"What took you so long? I was about to call 911 and issue a missing person report," Nicos' voice echoed off of the walls the second that I shut the front door behind me.

The liquid inside of the bottle of vodka I took swished around with every movement I made. Hearing Nicos' footsteps heading down the stairs, I quickly tried to hide the bottle behind me.

When I looked back up and saw Nico standing still in front of me with a sympathetic look, I knew he had already seen it.

I took a deep breath, squeezing the bottle so tight that my knuckles turned white before slowly moving it back in front of me. Nicos' sympathetic eyes stayed on me, flashing between the bottle and my eyes.

I held it up in the air and broke the silence that had fallen over us, "It's Vodka. I took it from Romeos' room while visiting him. I know I said I wasn't going to, but something just came over me. After seeing my parents and Rios' room, I needed it. Especially with Rios' funeral coming up."

I didn't know what I was expecting. Him to take it from me, tell me I'm being immature.

He took a step forward, and my eyes turned glossy as I stared at him.

"Okay. But you're gonna drink here with me, where you're safe," his tone was both soft and stern at the same time.

I nodded, and let him take the bottle out of my hands.

I followed him into the kitchen, poking his butt to try and cheer myself up. He looked at me over his shoulder, and I just shrugged, "It wasn't me, Nico. I swear."

"No?" he played along, grabbing a cup as I leaned my hip against the counter.

I watched as he grabbed something from the fridge to mix with the vodka. He unscrewed the lid from the bottle, but held it over the cup for a moment. He said, "Tell me when to stop."

He started pouring it. His eyes moved up to meet mine when he expected me to say stop, but I didn't say anything.

"Elle, if I don't stop soon, it's gonna taste like you're drinking hand sanitizer."

"Perfect. My favorite snack."

He stopped pouring, a slight chuckle coming from his lips. He mixed it for me while I pulled my hair back, wanting it out of my face. Once the drink was done, he handed it to me and spoke in the most serious he ever has in his life, "Hopefully no cops show up, or else you'll go to jail forever."

"Perfect," I teased. "I won't have to see you ever again."

The second I finished my sentence, his lips pressed against mine as if my joke had hurt his feelings. I felt myself melting into him as we kissed, my body falling into a calm state that always happens when we kiss.

He pulled away, his thumb tugging on my bottom lip as he stared into my eyes. He spoke seriously, "I love you so much, Elle."

My sad heart skipped a beat in my chest.

"I love you, Nico," I told him, meaning every word of it.

He placed a long kiss against my forehead, and I shut my eyes as he did so.

I raised the cup to my lips, making a face of disgust at the taste. Nico asked me, "Want me to run you a bath, and you can drink in there while you relax?"

I nodded my head, and he didn't waste a second before heading up the stairs. Nico treated me like a princess, always ready to do every little thing for me.

I drank a few sips before heading up the stairs, my hand tracing along the railing. The sound of water filling the tub met my ears as I reached the top of the stairs, continuing to take more sips.

"Does the princess want bubbles?" Nico asked me, and even though his back was turned to me, I could feel his smirk.

After a sip that lasted longer than I meant it to, I replied over the sound of pouring water, "Yes. The lavender-scented one."

I turned around, setting my half-empty glass on my nightstand. I let out a soft sigh, my sadness starting to creep into my mind once again.

I rubbed my neck as if I were trying to get a knot out of it, while shutting my eyes for a moment.

Rios' face appeared in my mind.

Dead.

In my childhood home.

I didn't help him.

It's my fault.

I could've done more.

He was only 17.

"Elle?" Nicos' voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I jumped and gasped, the feeling of his hand on my shoulder startling me.

My heart pounded quickly in my chest as I now faced Nico, my hand hovering over my heart. Nico looked so guilty, as if he made me this scared. But it wasn't him, it was my own guilt.

"Hey," he nearly whispered. "I'm sorry baby."

I shook my head slightly, "It wasn't you - don't worry."

I grabbed the cup off of the nightstand, taking a long drink. I wiped my lips once I was done, surprising myself that it was now empty.

"Can I have another one?" I asked Nico, and he looked me up and down quickly before nodding.

I handed him the cup, and he headed downstairs. I walked into the connecting bathroom, not looking at myself in the mirror as I dropped my clothes.

I pulled my hair into a bun, not wanting to wash it today. I stepped into the bubbly warm water, the lavender scent calming me for a moment. I slowly submerged my body into the water, until I was completely seated.

"I'll cook dinner while you're in here," Nico spoke gently once he was in the bathroom.

I nodded slightly and thanked him as I took the glass. I watched his back as he headed back downstairs, my vision starting to feel blurry as I drank more.

Everything felt like a blur as I drank the drink within 5 minutes. Everything was moving around me, even though I was sitting still in the tub.

My skin was light pink from the hot water, but for some reason, I felt especially hot.

I used both of my hands to push myself up, nearly falling as I did so.

"Shit," I slurred under my breath as I steadied myself.

I stepped out of the tub, water hitting the floor as it felt like I was on a rollercoaster. I wrapped my towel around myself, wiping the steamed mirror so that I could see myself.

My brown baby hairs stuck to my forehead, and my cheeks were pink. I used my hands to keep myself from falling over.

"Elle?" Rio said from behind me.

I whipped around, my mouth hanging open as I stared at Rio. He leaned against the wall casually, his arms crossed as he looked at me.

"Rio?" I whispered, my voice cracking.

"What are you doing this drunk?" he looked me up and down. "You look like you'd die if I pushed you. Can I try it?"

Tears filled my eyes as I ignored his usual sarcasm. I felt warm tears slide down my cheeks, "I missed you so much."

He smiled. A real, genuine smile.

"I love you, Elle," he spoke, making me smile widely as tears still slid down my cheeks. "But you need to accept that I'm gone."

My smile froze for a second, slowly falling from my face. I tilted my head and whispered, "What?"

"Not everybody gets to live a long life. But just because I didn't, doesn't mean you should spend your time wishing that I could've. You have to focus on your life, Elle," his brown eyes stared into mine.

I felt as if I were in shock, my body weight shifting from foot to foot since it felt like I was swaying.

"I don't wanna let you go, Rio," I confessed.

"Then don't. Always carry me in your heart, but not your mind. In your mind, it will only cause you pain," he told me, and I felt my bottom lip quiver.

I did a long blink, sending some tears down my cheeks. My mouth hung open for a moment before my words came out, "Can I hug you one last time?"

He nodded.

I took a step forward, pulling him into my arms. I hugged him tightly, smiling with my eyes shut, until I realized that I couldn't smell his cologne.

"Goodbye, Maribelle," his voice whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes, seeing that I was alone in the bathroom.

"Dinners ready, baby," Nico spoke as he rounded the corner into the bedroom.

I sniffled and took a step forward, slipping on a puddle of water that I had caused from standing here. I was too drunk to feel the pain, although I was sure I'd have a bruise tomorrow.

"Elle!" Nico spoke worriedly, running over to me and crouching down.

His eyes scanned me, his hands pressing gently on me to see if anywhere was hurt. I sniffled, and Nico asked me, "Are you hurt?"

"I miss him," my voice nearly cracked.

Nico looked heartbroken for me. As I sniffled, Nico collected me in his arms. Even with the world spinning, I could still tell that he was carrying me to the bed.

He set me down on my back, and my feet hung off the bed. I stared up at the ceiling and felt Nicos' strong hands start to massage my legs in an attempt to help me relax. He spoke up, "You're strong, Elle. You're gonna get through this, I promise."

I took deep breaths as his hands moved up and down my legs and feet, and I could feel my heartbeat starting to slow down.

"Want me to bring your dinner upstairs?" he asked me, and I nodded my head.

He released my legs, and I remained on my back for a second. I stumbled as I got out of bed and grabbed one of Nicos' t-shirts, pulling it over my head before sitting back down on the bed.

I didn't even hear Nico enter the room again, but I felt him sit down beside me. He put a forkful of pasta into my mouth, and the flavor filled my mouth.

Nicos' hand ran up and down my back as I ate. He always waited until I had swallowed all of my food before giving me another bite, and I hadn't even noticed how hungry I was.

"Want more?" he asked me once it was empty.

I shook my head, and he set the bowl on the nightstand. He leaned back in the bed, and I moved to lay on top of him.

His hands moved up and down the curvature of my spine as my cheek pressed against his chest. He whispered, "It'll get better, sweetheart. We'll take it one day at a time, I know your pain."

My eyelids began to close, as I nearly fell asleep. My eyes only opened once I heard Nicos' stomach growl.

"You didn't eat?" I asked.

"Don't worry about me. Just close your eyes," he said gently, holding me close to him so that I couldn't move.

My blinks became heavier, and the last thing that I remember is hearing an 'I love you' in my ear.

--------

I don't understand how it's possible for me to be cold right now.

The sun is shining brightly, without a cloud in the sky. There was a warm breeze, but it was still above 20 degrees celsius.

But as I sit on the grass, staring at the grey shiny tombstone, I shiver. Goosebumps cover my arms, as if the sun wasn't there at all.

A week had gone by since Rio's passing.

Nico has been taking care of me as if his life depends on it. He has started every shower for me, cooked all of my meals, and gotten me every single glass of water that I've drank. He never pressures me to get out of bed, he just lays there with me, holding me close.

I always cry. And he always let me. Stroking my hair, telling me that I'm strong and I'll get through this.

But I feel pathetic. I feel like a horrible person. Rio was not only my brother, but my best friend. And I didn't go to his funeral.

I tried. I got out of bed, I showered, I put on a black dress, and brushed my hair. I even made it to the bottom of the stairs.

But my body shook profusely and I collapsed to the ground in tears when I tried to leave. Nico stayed home with me, telling me that Rio would understand. But that still didn't change how horrible I felt.

"Hey Rio," I spoke to the headstone. "Do you remember a few years ago, when we went on that bike ride?"

"On the way here, I saw two people biking on the same bikes we would use. For a moment, I thought it was you, before I saw their face," I started to fiddle with my shoelaces.

"It's supposed to get easier with time. But it isn't," I shook my head. "I can't imagine a day where I feel happy again."

All I wanted was to hear his voice. To hear him give me a sarcastic reply.

But he didn't, because he's no longer here.

And I need to accept that.

With tears stinging my eyes, I stood up, brushing the grass off of my butt.

I knew that if Rio were here, he'd be laughing at me crying right now. A small smile managed to form on my face imagining him going, 'The fuck are you crying for? I didn't even like you, anyway.'

A laugh escape my throat as I sniffled and wiped my cheeks.

"Elle?" Nico spoke from behind me.

I turned around, seeing him walk across the grass to reach me. Dressed in black pants and a white shirt, the sun lit up the edges of his black hair. I told him that I wanted to go alone, but he insisted on coming to pick me up. I knew that it was because he was afraid I'd do something stupid alone.

His large hands swiped my cheeks, his fingertips taking my tears with them. He asked gently, "Do you want some more time here? I can go back home."

I shook my head.

"You sure, beautiful?" his deep voice comforted me. As my face leaned into his hand, a small breeze blew my hair back.

I gave him a small nod, squinting slightly from the bright sun. He continued to stand there, one of his hands holding my face, and his other moved to my hip. He was waiting for me to move first, wanting me to leave when I was ready.

I finally took a deep breath, my eyes slowly starting to dry. I grabbed his hand in mine, and he gave my hand a squeeze before we started walking toward his car.

"Hungry?" he asked me as we approached the car. He opened my door for me before I could even move my hand, making me crack a smile for the first time all morning.

I shook my head as I sat down on the passenger seat, "No, but can we go to the tattoo parlor tomorrow?"

His dark eyebrows scrunched in confusion. I looked him up and down as he stood there, and I could tell that he was debating on whether to ask why or not.

His tall and strong frame stood firm, not moving an inch. A golden aura was around him from the sun, and his black hair blew to the left. He nodded slightly, "Okay, sure."

He shut the passenger side door after that, but not until after he checked to make sure the door wouldn't hit anything of mine. He rounded the car quickly after, his hands slipping into the pockets of his pants.

Nico started to drive once he was seated, and I saw his green eyes give me a quick glance to see if my seatbelt was on. My fingers tapped against my knee anxiously until he reached for my hand, not allowing me to continue tapping.

My eyes traced the buildings that we passed, but I froze for a moment seeing the liquor store, memories from the other night seeping into my brain.

I blinked harshly.

Nico has paid attention to what music I like. The entire drive home, he played all of my favorite songs, without me having to tell him.

As we turned onto our road, my eyebrows lowered in confusion seeing a car in our driveway. I asked him, "Are you expecting somebody?"

"Mhm," he hummed as he parked on the side of the road.

I felt confused as I opened my car door. I followed closely behind Nico, who was walking toward the car. I thought out loud as I looked at the car, "Nobody is in there."

He suddenly stopped in front of the car, making me run into his back. I muttered and rubbed my forehead, "Jerk."

"It was your chin that ran into me, not your forehead," he said after he turned around, making me scrunch my eyebrows at him.

I looked at the car, "So, whose car is this?"

"Yours."

I laughed, "Yea, and dogs shit candy."

"I'm serious."

"Yea, so am I. How do you think they make M&M's?"

He took a step forward, "Elle. I bought it for you."

I froze. My brain processed his words, playing them over and over again to see if I imagined them. I strung the words out, "You... bought this...for me?"

"For you, sweetheart," he confirmed that I heard him correctly. "You're gonna need your own car with college coming up. I didn't forget that tomorrow we're going to look at some."

My hands covered my mouth for a moment before I sprung on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I spoke quickly, "Nico, why! You shouldn't have! This is the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me!"

I heard him laugh in my ear, "Cause you deserve the fucking world, Elle. Now let's take it for a test drive."

He set me down on the ground, and I stared up at him with a big smile, "I'll pay you back one day, I promise."

He shook his head and kissed my forehead. He handed me the keys, and I ran to the drivers' side.

He got into the passengers' side, and we both put our seatbelts on as I adjusted the seat from his height to mine.

"Don't worry. I'll get you a booster seat tomorrow," he joked, making me give him a fake 'ha-ha.'

I put the car in reverse and looked over my shoulder as I backed up. When I felt that I hit something, I slammed on the brakes, swearing once I noticed I hit our garbage bin and knocked it over.

"First of all, I think my neck is broken now," Nico spoke up. "Second of all, try not to hit something again. Okay?"

I nodded, "Okay."

"Grandma," he said under his breath, making me brake again. He grabbed his neck and went, 'ow.'

"I do not drive like a grandma," I argued.

He rubbed his neck, "I think I'm paralyzed now."

"Don't worry, I'll wheel you around in your wheelchair," I smiled at him.

He smirked, "Yea?"

I nodded and reversed onto the road, "Yea."

I started driving my new car down the road, and I could feel Nico watching me with a smile. The breeze from the windows being down kept us cool from the summer heat, and for the first time in what has felt like forever, I felt happy.

"Into the pool," I finished my sentence to him, and for the first time in a week, we laughed together.