♡ ♡

"And then he died, so I had to 4v1," Rio said some stuff about his videogames. "And I clutched it. Absolutely carried my team and shit on everybody."

I nodded as if I knew what he was talking about. Shooting games weren't really my thing, because even when somebody misses every shot at me, I still somehow die. It's weird.

We had finished our ice cream, but we were just sitting here now. We sat by the window, and I'd smile at the strangers that walked by.

One of them was an old man walking alone, and his face lit up when I smiled at him. I would die for him.

As I looked outside, Rio nudged my arm, "How's the flower shop going?"

"It's going...." My sentence slowly came to a stop as a familiar car parked outside. My eyes widened, recognizing it. I blinked harshly to make sure I wasn't imagining things, and sure enough, I wasn't.

I'm supposed to be avoiding him.

"Get down!" I ordered Rio, laying my head and torso down on the table so that I couldn't be seen through the window.

"What the fuck-"

I grabbed onto his hair and forced him to lay down on the table, too. His head smacked the table a little harder than I meant to, making me go 'pffff' and try not to laugh. His eyes narrowed on me, "I'm gonna kill you."

"Just stay down," I ordered, and he rolled his eyes but listened.

He whispered, "Why are we going this, though?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Rio if you don't shut your-"

A warm hand touched my back, and my body completely froze. I continued laying against the table as if that would make him go away, and Rio slowly pushed himself to be sitting back upright.

"Hey Elle," Nicos' voice spoke.

I pushed myself up and turned around and he moved away the hair that was covering my face, and kept his hand on my cheek for a second before removing it. He's really warm.

"Hey Nico," my voice was quiet.

Rio started to talk, "What's up Nic-"

"Cross," Nico cut him off, holding his hand out to shake Rios. I still don't understand why he doesn't like people calling him Nico.

It's a nice name. I like it. I mean - it's a name. That's not horrible.

I could say it in bed.

I hate intrusive thoughts.

Rio nodded, not questioning him.

Nico took a seat, and I tried not to meet his eyes.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

"I like your tattoos," Rio spoke to him.

"Thanks, man. Heard you want one yourself."

Rio nodded, and I awkwardly bit the inside of my mouth. Nico put his hand over top of my arm, making my eyes turn to his. I asked him, "I thought you had a client to tattoo?"

"Decided to take the day off of work," he shrugged, and when he removed his hand from my arm, I frowned mentally.

"Well, Rio and I have to go now, actually," I abruptly stood up, making the chair slide behind me.

Rio looked at me with a 'we do?' look, so I have him a 'keep your mouth shut' look, and he nodded his head slightly. Sibling bond.

I didn't give Nico time to respond before turning around and starting to exit the ice cream shop. Rio took his sweet little time, which made me want to smack him over the head.

Nico walked faster than Rio did, and I could feel him on my heels. I walked down the ice cream shop's stairs, but stepped down on the last step wrong and almost fell. Nico grabbed onto me, holding me tightly to him and stopping me from falling.

I looked up at him, and he spoke gently, "Be careful, Elle."

I swallowed my salvia. He looks really good today.

But I'm supposed to be avoiding him.

He smells really good, too.

I force myself to take a step back, out of his warm grip.

Rio finally reached the outside after his freaking hour-long hike. It was only like 5 seconds, but it felt way longer than that.

"Are you working tomorrow?" he asked me.

I nodded, thinking that my answer would tell him that I couldn't see him tomorrow. But instead, he said, "I'll stop by."

"You don't have to do that," I spoke quickly. "It's pretty boring-"

"I said I'll stop by," he cut me off.

Butterflies. Avoid.

"Nice meeting you, Rio," Nico said while doing one of those bro handshakes with him.

Rio looked like he had just won the lottery.

I grabbed onto Rio's wrist and dragged him back towards Romeos' car. He kept his mouth shut while I dragged him, but he spoke the second we were in the car, "So, that's your dirty little secret. Are you guys dating or something?"

I shook my head, "No. We're just sort of friends."

"Didn't seem that way when your cheeks blushed," his voice raised an octave, making me glare at him.

"Shut up," I muttered.

We drove home, and Rio didn't ask me any more questions. Thankfully.

Once we parked in the driveway, he asked, "How'd you meet him?"

I thought I had made it without him asking that.

I decided I could tell Rio. I'm the closest with him out of everybody in the world. I told him, "He's my self-defense teacher. I wanna be able to defend myself if anything happens."

He nodded, but his eyes moved to my arms. He squeezed my bicep, "Oh, you definitely feel like you could kick some ass."

"I know, right?" I said before both of us started laughing together. "Don't tell mom or Romeo about him, okay?"

"Only cause he's cool," he replied before getting out of the car, making me roll my eyes.

I headed up to my room and shut my door behind me. I pulled my clothes off, and changed into Nicos' sweater before getting into bed. Only because it's warm.

No other reason.

I shut my eyes. I'll at least be able to avoid him in my sleep.

----------

Turns out I can't.

Nico was in my dream last night. It wasn't a creepy dream or anything, it was completely random. He and I killed zombies together like we were living in The Walking Dead, but I was way better at it.

"Maribelle," my grandma said sternly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked up, feeling horrible that a customer had been standing across from me, and I hadn't noticed. I quickly apologized and helped the customer while my grandparents went on their lunch break, and then let out a sign once I was alone again.

I glanced over at the daises.

I jerked my body quickly at them and thought, 'Fuck you.'

The bell dinged. Heart skipped a beat. Nico walked in, iced coffee in hand.

"Elle," his deep voice reached my ears.

Butterflies. Again.

He slid the coffee over to me. I picked it up and took a sip, hoping that he didn't secretly poison me. I lowered the cup and asked, "More daises?"

He nodded.

I set my cup down. I walked over and grabbed him some, handing them to him before walking back around the counter, even though I wasn't going to make him pay.

"Why are you acting different?" he asked me.

"Mercury is in-"

"Shut up with that shit," he cut me off. "What happened, Elle?"

Nothing. He doesn't want to tell me about his life, and it hurts my heart too much to not know. I don't even know why I'm so upset about it. Winter is my friend, and if she never wanted to tell me about her personal life, I wouldn't mind. But for some reason, with Nico, I'm not thinking about him the same way that I'm thinking about Winter.

"Nothing," I rubbed my hand up and down my arm while I held my elbow.

"Stop lying," he ordered. "You're different. And I don't like it."

"So, there's a way you like me?" I teased, and a small smirk formed on his face.

He started to walk around the counter, and I took a step back. He quickly put his arm around me, his hand on my back pulling me back towards him. He stared down at me, "Don't walk away from me."

He still smells good.

"I'm working-"

"Tell me what happened, Elle," his voice was soft and gentle. But there was something else behind it.

My mouth hung open for a second. I quickly shut it and swallowed my saliva before telling him, "You said to not ask about your life. So I'm not."

His eyebrows creased in the middle, "What are you talking about?"

I can feel tears wanting to form in my eyes, but I don't allow it.

"You kiss me, but then you come into my flower shop to buy daises for another girl," my voice was quiet, not wanting to speak loudly in case it broke. "Because they are for another girl, right?"

His jaw tensed. His eyes are so beautiful.

"Yes, they are."

RIP Elle Russo. Cause of death; sadness.

I hate his eyes. They're stupid.

"And does she know about our kiss?" I asked.

"No."

Add jumping off of a bridge to my cause of death.

I removed his hand from my back. And he let me.

I stepped back, "Then I think we should have some distance. I'll take some time off from self-defense."

He looked like he wanted to say something. I silently hoped that he was going to speak, tell me about his life, tell me about who the girl is.

But he didn't. He walked around the counter, daises in hand.

He pulled something out of his pocket and slipped it into the tip jar. While taking steps back, he said, "Thanks for the flowers."

You're not welcome.

Once the door shut and his large frame was on, I leaned forward on my tiptoes as my hips leaned against the counter. I grabbed the tip jar, and my jaw dropped.

He put $500 in it.

----------

I took the next 2 days off of work.

Thankfully, my grandparents didn't mind. But I didn't want to see Nicos' face as he bought another girl flowers.

I texted Winter and asked her to hang out, but she was busy. So now I'm going to go get food by myself, because Romeo is sleeping, and Rio pissed me off earlier. I was trying to take a nap and he kept coming into my room every five minutes, so I couldn't.

I swear he never needs anything unless I'm trying to sleep.

I hold the $500 dollars in my hand so that I can stop by the bank and put it on my card. I slipped my shoes on before walking outside, the sound of crickets filling the summer air.

I played Tame Impala on the speakers to try and cheer myself up. I would die for Tame Impala.

As I drove down the road, the song sang,

Ok. Anyways.

I turned it off quickly. Suddenly I'm deaf.

I went through the drive-thru, ready to get McDonald's even though my stomach will probably hurt in a few hours. I pulled up to the speaker and asked for a fry and coke, and paid at the first window.

Once I got my order, I parked in the parking lot. I ate my fry, wishing that I would've asked for extra salt.

I want high blood pressure, give it to me now.

Once I was done, I started sipping on my drink. Coke is better than Pepsi, but Diet Pepsi is better than Diet Coke.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

McDonald's fries are also better than Wendy's fries, but Wendy's chicken nuggets are better than McDonald's.

I watched a couple walk by on the sidewalk in front of me. They looked so happy together. Smiling, laughing, in a state of bliss. You can see how much they love each other, just by their faces. The love they feel in their hearts reaches their eyes as they look at each other, and even as a stranger, I could feel how much they cared for each other.

I want that.

But I'm super bloated right now so I'm sure nobody would want to talk to me.

I've only kissed two people before. Nico, and this guy when I was in kindergarten. I've never done anything more than that, and at this rate, maybe I never will.

I drove to the bank, holding my card and my cash in hand. I went up to one of the ATMs, taking glances over my shoulder to make sure that I didn't get robbed.

Once it was processed, I removed my card and walked back to my car. I got in, but I sat there for a moment.

I hate Nico.

Okay, that's not true.

I hate that I don't hate him.

Even though I should. I may not be the most special person ever, but I don't think that I deserve that. He shouldn't have kissed me with another girl in his life.

He should tell her, even if they aren't dating.

I should walk straight into Nicos' tattoo parlor and make him tattoo my butt with 'Nico Cross sucks.'

He'd probably refuse, but it would still be a little funny.

I drove home, deciding to start playing music again. I put on The Weeknd this time since Tame Impala did me dirty last time.

I turned it off faster than I've moved all day.

While pulling into my driveway, I start to think of what I could do to cheer myself up.

I lean my head back against the headrest, taking a deep breath.

I should get drunk.

I should smoke some of Rios' weed.

I should play a videogame and let some of my anger out by bullying 12-year-olds.

Or maybe I should just go to bed.

I got out, nearly falling as I did so. Maybe I am clumsy.

I entered my house, taking my shoes off at the front door. Both of my parents had told me they were working night shifts tonight, so I wasn't surprised to see their cars gone.

I made my way up the stairs, seeing Rios lights on, but not Romeos. I didn't smell any weed coming from Rios' room, which made me happy. Even though it's nothing compared to what he used to be addicted to, I don't want him to ever feel tempted to relapse.

I walked into my dark bedroom and shut my door behind me. I fumbled around while trying to reach my lightswitch, swearing to myself as I did so, and then I finally got it.

I nearly fell to the floor seeing Nico sitting on the end of my bed as my room got lit up.

My hand held over my rapid beating heart. I asked in confusion, "Nico? What are you doing here?"

He stood up to his full height, his eyes staring into mine. He looks really good.

But he broke into my room. I should call the cops on him.

My eyes noticed something in his hands, and my heart jumped in my chest seeing that he was holding purple carnations.

He finally spoke, "We need to talk."