"Show me how you mean it, Esayr"

My heart threatened to beat out of my chest. I wanted her so desperately. I couldn't think straight, and then add to that the incessant ache of my cock muddling my thoughts, I found myself struck by indecision.

I tested that bond between us, grappling with it and tracing it back out into the mere inches that separated us until I came upon that haphazard wall. I knew from the play of emotions on her face during our conversation that she was worried about it, and I could gather that probably made her feel vulnerable.

Despite everything, despite how much I wanted her. I didn't want this to be a vulnerability. I didn't want this to merely be a means by which to ease a concern or a worry that plagued her.

I simply needed. Maybe it made me selfish but I wanted her to as well.

"Please. Ici (Please.)" Her fingers traced the line of my jaw, her other hand splayed wide along my chest. The sound of Addy's voice made me believe she could need in the same way that I did. She made me believe in a future past these next few minutes.

"Tell me you need it, Addy. Tell me you want to know how I mean it." My arm fell across the small of her back like a brace, pulling her flush against me and I was gratified to see that faint blush that I was so fond of dust her cheeks, "I want nothing more than you, and I swear to you I will give you anything you ask. You could break me, Addison Kane, and I will thank you for every minute of it."

I watched the flicker of thoughts in her eyes. It was the closest I'd ever come to knowing what Kayle's powers were like. To see thoughts as clearly as I could see how she considered my words, considered me and her, and decided to give in. "Ici. (Please.)"

I'd told her how I feel our love between us in a roundabout way, but in these vulnerable moments outside of her comfort zone, it was pulled from me again and again, those small reassurances. "I love you." She didn't shy away from nor pull out of my grasp. She smiled and nodded, accepting it.

One day she'd say it back to me, or it would kill me, but until then I'd show her how I meant it.

She wiggled on my lap, impatient with my delayed start, and the brush of her body straddling my cock had me adjusting where she sat. I pulled her slightly to the side allowing her weight to settle the heat of her on my thigh.

I traced the curve of her hip up to her waist with one hand, the other continued to draw circles against the fabric of her pants along the seam on her inner thigh.

She leaned toward me, more impatient than I ever expected my shy little mate to be, so I gave her what she wanted, my mouth. This time it wasn't slow. I met her quickly, mouth open. It was a sloppy affair in that delicious way that wasn't a fault but something that made us both burn brighter.

She tasted exactly like she smelled, sweet and addictive and I knew I'd never get enough of her, no matter the seconds, minutes, or hours that I had my mouth on her. When I pulled back she chased after me again, it was only my hand that had tangled itself in the short hairs of the back of her neck that managed to angle her and allow me to begin trailing nipping kisses along the line of her jaw and down her neck.

She made an angry noise in the back of her throat, but still tilted her head in a way to allow me to drag my tongue along that line just under her ear, along the feathering of her pulse just beneath the warmth of her skin, "That's a greedy sound."

I kissed long lines along her skin, nipping and biting until even her body remembered I'd been there, lines of a story etched in those little blossomed marks on her neck and brushing the edge of her shirt.

She rocked against me and I was grateful for the foresight to move her to the side or I'd have made a mess of this...and quickly.

Her hands that had gone so far as to bunch in my own hair, tugged me lower, guiding me where she wanted me to show her how it was that I loved her.

In response, I tugged the hem of the shirt that the Aarond Form had created for her, "If you want my mouth on you, this needs to come off." I let my other hand drift back up from her leg, brushing along the inside of her hip and around that intimate bit of her that she hadn't given me permission to, yet, but by the arch of her back and roll of her hips knew she was considering.

She nodded, but I wanted her to be a willing participant in this, "Take it off for me, Addy. Take off the shirt and let me put my mouth on you."

I'd never seen a shirt removed so fast in my life and to believe it was my sweet shy female made me all the hotter for it. She was beautiful in all her glory, I was only disappointed to see that she still had on that little band around her chest the ship had seen fit to gift her, much to my dismay.

If I'd had my way she would have been bare if not entirely at least beneath the clothes that were necessities. But, she preferred this, so I'd live with it.

I hooked my finger through the middle of it, allowing it to tease the swells of her breasts, "This needs to be off as well." This one I would take off on my own, however...

She gave me that permission as well with a breathy, "Ici (Please.)"

I glanced up at her again, noting that she watched me with that hazy pleasured look. I knew we were heading into uncharted and unfamiliar territory for her and I wanted her here and present with me, "Anything at all that you don't like, tell me to stop." I braced my arm against her back again causing her to arch against me and press her core tighter against my leg, "And anything at all that you enjoy, tell me, if not with words then with scratches and moans. However, it is that you can tell me you enjoy it do it."

She bit her lip and mentally I promised it I'd soothe it later. Then she nodded, and that band across her chest was pulled down and her breasts popped free in the blazing lights of our quarters.

Reverently, I kissed the valley between. I let my hands span her ribcage, just under them, allowing the weight of them to settle on the tops of my hands --and letting her settle and get comfortable with the sensation of me touching her. I'd always wanted these first touches to be a slow exploration, and though my body told me it would kill me, I would count it a blessing to die between her thighs.

I watched her body respond to me, tightening in the puff of cold air that I blew over her where I pulled back. Her forehead landed on my shoulder and I leaned into her while I enjoyed the view of her nearly naked. "How badly do you want me to touch you?"

"Put your mouth on me, dammit," it was a vicious whisper and it had me laughing as I leaned into her, pressing her back against the table we'd eaten at. It seemed fitting enough and then I had my mouth where I'd wanted it for as long as I could remember.

I laved the tight peak of her breast, teasing it with teeth and tongue while my hand found the other, squeezing it so it didn't feel left out. Addy's entire body rocked immediately and I had to grapple with her hips to keep her seated in my lap instead of falling to the floor.

I loved every inch of her body, had loved it when I'd first seen her, but to have her in my hands and on my tongue, I was ravenous. To hear the soft sounds that she made while I explored these new parts she granted me access to was the closest to paradise the gods had ever let me come.

I released her with an audible pop, not because I was anywhere near done, but because her hand was drawing me toward the other, apparently dissatisfied with the attention my pinching fingers were giving it. I couldn't complain --never would-- especially when Addy's other hand simply dragged it down to the heat between her legs, where her body was slowly rocking against my leg, unsure and unsatisfied. It was the permission that I'd felt I'd been waiting for, for years.

My fingers pressed hard against the seam of her pants that ran down her center, she'd soaked through them and nearly through the leg of my own pants as well. That caused an unexpected flood of pride to filter out into the room around us. Her body was hot beneath my hand as I pressed against her motions, so tight I could almost believe there was nothing between us.

Kissing her again, I teased her body with gentle touches just next to the areas where I knew she wanted me, feather-light and gentle enough that combined with my mouth on her she was letting out breathy whimpering moans. The sound of them was so tempting I considered the option of having the ship record them so I could remember them.

"Not enough."

I would come in my pants before the night was done. I knew it.

She was slick and wet when my hand slipped inside her pants. I expected her body to pull away from the unfamiliar sensation, but she only arched further towards me, allowing me to graze over that sensitive spot on her body that our scientists had very quickly discovered in the females' DNA.

Her legs wrapped around me easily enough, anchoring us together and I couldn't help but pull my lips away from her body to watch her face as my fingers slid lower until that first sensation of sinking into her heat struck the both of us.

Her eyes widened and her tongue shot out to wet her lips as I slid just one finger deeper into her, she was gloriously tight in a way that I'm sure would cause a sense of concern later when I was inclined to think with a more logical part of myself than a cock that seemed little more than a hard bar in my pants.

The heel of my palm pressed hard against that bundle of nerves while I eased my hand slowly out and then back in, in a shallow thrust, testing her body and what it needed. When her head fell back against the table and her short nails dug into my arm I repeated the gesture, dipping farther inside with tighter sensations and harder thrusts, teasing her body more and more until I could feel it tightening around me, the muscles feathering against my intrusion.

I angled my hand until I could draw those lazy circles I'd always been practicing with her, along that point just between her folds.

Her head was thrown back, the lines of her neck were stark in the bright lights and I found my gaze straying down to look at the dusky pink of her nipples farther and farther down to the little bit of her I could see in the dark of the pants that my hand had found itself inside of. Seeing how my fingers disappeared inside of her had me testing her, easing in a second finger that her body accepted greedily as tight as she was.

I kissed the curve of her stomach as my world dissolved into the rhythmic thrusting of my hand and curling of my fingers as her body drew more and more taut. I watched her hungrily waiting until that moment when it all boiled over as she'd done to me that time in our bed.

Addy's inner muscles clamped down hard, had it been my cock I was sure she'd have strangled it. I sucked in a ragged breath, but she started to pull away from me, even as she called my name.

I pulled my hand away from her, nearly exiting her body of everything but only the tips of my fingers, but my arm stayed locked around her hips. I wanted her to know that I had her and that she was safe; that she was allowed to want these things and was more than welcome to feel good while she was with me. She just needed to allow herself to take it. "You'll come on my hand tonight or not at all, Addy. Can you do that for me?"

She whimpered but loosened her body, letting herself sink back down onto my hand where she'd started to pull away.

I redoubled my efforts, chasing after that tightening of her muscles and that shattered whimpers I'd managed to wring out of her with the soft brush of my thumb and the continued thrust of my fingers.

When she broke apart in my arms she called my name and bowed off of the table. I buried my fingers as deep as I could, relishing the feel of her body tightening around them, fluttering and frantic. Her legs jerked around me and her nails scratched at my shoulders and anything else she could grab.

My fingers continued their shallow thrusting as she slowly went lax on our table until she finally stopped whispering my name. It was too soon when she finally came to her senses and leaned back off the table.

Her gaze landed where mine had been rivetted, where my hand disappeared inside her. She tightened around me immediately and flushed all the way down to those rosy nipples I'd had my mouth on earlier.

She didn't pull away, though, instead, she allowed me the last slide of my fingers in her heat before I pulled free of her. It made me bold and brazen. "You blush so much for my hand, it makes me wonder how much you'll blush when it's my face between your thighs."

Despite sitting in front of me nearly naked with my fingers slick with her desire, she looked scandalized but the scent of her sex in the air deepened more than I ever thought it could. I found I liked it.

"You don't actually--"

"--Want my face between your thighs?" I leaned into her, chasing her back toward that table she'd just been draped over and I let those wet fingers of mine trail up her stomach and between her breasts until I held them in the air between us, proof of what we'd just shared. "I am anxiously awaiting the day I can have my tongue inside you. Until then?" I glanced at my fingers between us.

Addy uttered a breathless "You aren't--"

But I was too quick and they were in my mouth before she had a chance to question if I could really desire her on my tongue. My sense of her exploded out into the room, focusing in on our bond and barrelling down it with that one simple action. When it smacked against the wall I could feel the force rock the foundation of it back a step and part of that blazing lust I always felt for her slipped through.

I was gratified to see that sleepy look return to her as she watched me, and even more satisfied to know she accepted my kiss afterward just as greedily.

When we broke apart I was the one that spoke, "Do you still want to go see our friends?" Though maybe not Addric or Kados. We certainly wouldn't leave without some kind of embarrassment.

When she peered at the door to our bedroom for a moment I was so near to dropping her to the floor entirely, friends be damned. "Or we could forgo the competition for the bed," I murmured, a touch softer than my cock ever seemed to want to be when I was around her.

But she squirmed in my grasp, telling me she'd made up her mind and it likely included me letting her out of my arms. "Not tonight. I won the couch fair and square."

All I heard was "not tonight" and my mind flooded with images of another night in the near future where I'd have her. When we'd bond. And I could hardly bear the thunderous beat of my heart when I gave myself the chance to hope and imagine a future.

Addy's fingers lingered on my thigh, and her shy voice brought me back out of my thoughts, "I made a mess of your pants."

I looked to where she was focused, where her fingers lingered on the damp fabric where her body had rested when I'd had my fingers inside her. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than smug about it, "I've made a mess of my own pants a fair few times in my youth. I'd wear it with pride, but something inclines me to think you'd prefer I change."

Her fingers lingered on my thigh before they slowly climbed up to the waistband of my pants. She was less sure now, despite the fact that we'd been here before, but they were unerring as they pulled apart the fastenings on my pants. The snaps on my pants gave way, a testament to the fact that my body wanted her desperately. Her pupils had nearly devoured the dark brown of her eyes when she looked at me for permission.

When I nodded her hands slid down to grip my length, "If you're going to change anyway, you might as well make it worth it."

I didn't last long and I didn't muster any energy to be embarrassed by it. A few gentle strokes and I was jerking in her grasp, my mouth licking the seam of her own as she continued to tease me well after I'd come.

By the time we'd changed and dressed to go out and find our Riniere, our scents had mingled and blended together in our quarters and I couldn't shake the intimacy of something as simple as our mutual shared pleasure, and our bond shivered tighter even more.

*****A/N*****

;) ;) ;)

~Layla

real talk tho. I don't read my smut on Wattpad so I really actually have no idea what the standard is for raunchy bits and I've heard that it isn't uncommon for more mature scenes to cause stories to get pulled down and accounts deleted, which is part of the reason this story was never as spicy as I originally intended it to be. I'm writing this here so that anyone who reads this knows that if I disappear from the face of the planet it was not my choice and you can find me on insta under layla_waltz for updates on where I might end up if that happened to occur.

also on an unrelated note, I listen to ASMR while I write, and lemme tell you, having a second monitor is a problem because I keep getting distracted from the videos and just end up staring at the other screen for 20 minutes at a time.