In all the time that I'd known him --which admittedly wasn't long-- Esayr had been nothing but the epitome of control. So, the fact that he was standing there looking like he was mere seconds from tossing me down into the rushes and having his way with me because of just one word was breathtaking.

His eyes were dark and wild and yet the restraint was still there, "Do you want me to be more forward with you, Addison?" When I didn't respond right away he continued, "I want you to tell me what you want. I need to hear it."

I watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest. His shirt was a dark military shirt with the same silvered stripes the Communications Lead had on his right arm. It fastened across his chest and I was acutely aware of how much I wanted to take it off and unveil his chest. I'd seen him before, sure, but this time I wanted to run my hands all over him.

"Addison." He'd caught me staring and I felt like a naughty child. Esayr looked strained. All of his muscles were coiled tight and he kept flexing and unflexing his hands like he had to keep himself from grabbing me, "What do you want, Addison."

I took a steadying breath. I want this. I want to figure this out with him. I want to experience these things with him. "I want you to be forward with me, Esayr."

My face was cradled in his hands and his gaze rushed over me with an urgency. He glanced up behind me toward the doorway we'd entered into the level from. When he looked back down into my eyes he was serious, determined. "Tell me to stop when you need me to."

He gripped me underneath my butt and hauled me up into his arms. I wasn't a small woman. I was on the tall side of average. My legs were long but on my best days I was probably closer to thick than I was skinny, yet he picked me up like I weighed nothing. He was always so gentle I'd almost forgotten how large Esayr was.

He stalked deeper into the gardens toward a darkened area with tale pale trees. Their dark jewel toned leaves blocked most of the artificial light beneath their bows making the walkway rather eerie. Every once in a while the bark of a tree would give off a faint luminescence brightening the foreign forest around us.

When Esayr brought me to a place he deemed secluded enough, he locked gazes with me. He'd been holding me tight against his chest, so when he finally set me down to took the opportunity to languidly let my body slide down against his. "Addison. Addison. Addison." He whispered my name like a prayer as he slid both his hands back into my hair and tilted me up to look at him.

"What am I going to do with you." His voice was a rough whisper. He leaned his forehead against me as he stroked his thumbs across my cheeks.

"What do you want to do to me?" I was bold in the dark.

"So much. So, so much." He took a step and then another and another, backing me up until my back pressed against the smooth soft wood of the trees.

"Tell me. Tell me what you'd do to me." I slid my hands down his chest and down farther until they rested along the hem of his shirt. Slide your hands under his shirt. It's right there.

His lips were so close that the brushed over mine as he spoke to me, "I'd start with your lips. You abuse this one," he ran his thumb over my bottom lip, "when you're nervous or when you're thinking of me."

I ran my tongue along the tip of his finger and his breath stuttered for a second as his attention was captivated with that small movement. He seemed to debate something a moment before he offered more of his finger to me. I closed my lips around him and he groaned. I was pressed tighter against the tree and I could feel the hot hard heat of him against my stomach beneath the fastenings of his pants.

He pulled his finger out of my mouth slowly and I let it go with an audible 'pop'. "You're breaking all of my self-control." He panted into the crook of my neck as he placed open mouth kisses along the column of my throat.

I let out a noise I didn't even know I could make, somewhere between a sigh and a moan. My body was on fire and he was stoking the flames every time he touched me.

Esayr pulled back to kiss along my jaw up toward my mouth as he started his explanation again between his ministrations, "Your mouth. I'd start with that little mouth of yours and I'd kiss you. I'd taste every bit of you and I'd have your mouth until you couldn't breathe without tasting me on your tongue." His mouth covered mine. I'd expected it to be brutal and demanding, but it began gently. His lips were soft and warm and just as I began to understand how to respond he slanted them against mine, brushing his tongue along the seam of my mouth.

I gasped at the new and unfamiliar sensation and he seized that opportunity to taste me.

Hell of a first kiss. I met his tongue hesitantly with my own and he let out a low pleasured sound deep in his throat. He took control of the kiss, teaching me slowly how to kiss and be kissed. He kissed me slow and languid, taking his time with me. Esayr kissed with a promise, a promise that he would make love to me the same way.

My legs were hiked up around his hips and he rocked me back into the bark of the tree as if he couldn't quite stop himself from doing it. He broke our kiss and I chased after him, pulling him back in. I on his lip like a wanton creature and he shuddered beneath my hands I slid them under his shirt and across his stomach. I felt his muscles contract beneath the soft exploring touches.

His kissing slowed and he pulled back, "Addison, you have to tell me," He panted as I continued exploring the planes of his stomach, "Addison, please. If you don't want me to take you on the ground here and now, you have to stop."

Our bond was thrumming, overflowing with desire and I found it hard to think past how much I wanted him at that moment I shoved his shirt up higher to reveal more of him to my wandering hands.

"Addison. Addy!" He gripped my hands to halt my exploration. The use of my nickname grabbed my attention, though. He searched my face, looking for some kind of answer, but I didn't even remember what he'd asked me. Esayr seemed to sense it, "Do you want me to fuck you here. Do you want me to bond with you? I'd wanted you in bed the first time. I'd wanted to make it special, but I'll have you here if you'd let me; if you want this."

There was hope in his eyes as he looked down at me, but as the haze of what we'd been doing cleared, I could feel my indecision. If he hadn't have stopped me, I'd have continued and I would have regretted it. Even now all the worries came barrelling back all of my indecision regarding this bond and the finality of it.

"Do you want this."

"I-I can't."

He nodded and let my legs slide down to the ground from around his hips.

There wasn't any hurt in his expression, but I didn't want him to think that all of what we'd done meant nothing to me, "Not right now."

His gentle patient smile was back, "Take your time, Addison."

"Addy. You can call me, Addy." Despite everything we'd just done in this shaded garden walkway, that was the line that had me blushing.

"Take your time, Addy. I'll be waiting." And with that Esayr grabbed my hand ready to tug me off to explore another area of the ship.

"You--ah you aren't...there's not..."

"You can ask me anything. I won't judge you."

"You...aren't going to be in any pain because we didn't....you know...finish?" I'd heard of men having issues if someone didn't follow through, and I certainly stopped when things were getting interesting. I snuck glances down at his pants. We'd definitely stopped in the middle of something.

"A male's never died of a hard cock before that I know of." His eyes were laughing as he caught me looking at him.

"Should you...uh...do something about it before we head back up to a higher level."

He raised an eyebrow, "It will go away."

"Before we see other people?"

"This ship is full of males," He seemed to choose his words carefully, "unexpected hardships happen. No one will bat an eye."

His wordplay amused me, but the fact that anyone could see me with my alien husband walking around with a boner had me stifling the urge to laugh, "Yes, but none of them have a female that they're in a bonding period with."

He smiled a radiant smile, "No, that is only my fortune. But, worry not it will likely go away before we make it to where we're going next."

"So you don't need to do something about it?"

We'd made it back to the glorified elevator. Esayr turned to me and gave me a sinful look before pulling me into the small compartment with him, "Would you like me to do something about it? Right now?" To further his insinuation he let a hand drift slowly down his chest toward the lower planes of his stomach.

"No!" I stopped the hand that was roaming farther and farther south. Not in this bright light. Not where other people could happen upon us.

He smiled and took the opportunity to link that hand with mine, "I thought not."

I felt my heart rate slowly lower, "So where are we going then? Where on the ship is far enough away that you don't have to worry about..." I let the sentence trail off.

He chuckled, a deep rumble in his chest, "The Atrium."

"What's that?"

"I believe the closest human concept is a church."

I whipped around to stare at him in disbelief. He just lounged against the elevator wall looking amused.

*****A/N*****

Y'all these last two chapters got crazier than I was anticipating, but it's been a wild ride for me. My ass was over here awkwardly googling synonyms for 'moan'. Can't believe these two did this to me. I feel like I need to hose them down or something. What do you think?

As always thank you for reading and giving this story a chance. I'm having too much fun for my own good.

Stay lovely,

Layla