She felt sick. Her heart was pounding in her chest and at any moment she was worried she would throw up. Her hands became clammy as she gripped the sides of her chair as she remembered to breathe. She felt like every nerve in her body was in overdrive, as the air from outside gently brushed over her damp skin. Her body was tense as Marcus pushed her over the threshold with their entourage following behind.

She wanted to wheel herself back inside to bed, but with everyone watching, she didn't want to show them just how weak she was.

"You okay?" Marcus whispered in her ear as he pushed her towards the lift. Jade said nothing as she nodded her head and kept reminding herself to breathe and that everything would be okay. She could hear Savannah and Marco chatting behind her as she swallowed the bile that was stuck in her throat as they waited for the lift to come.

"If it's too much let me know okay?" Marcus said watching Jade closely. She was tense, and he wasn't sure if she was breathing until he saw the slight moment of her chest.

"I'm fine." She croaked out as the elevator doors opened. The 4 of them piled into the lift and Jade started to hyperventilate. Her breathing came out faster, and she felt her chest tightening. She dug her hands into the side of her chair and closed her eyes praying that the lift ride would be over soon. The small crowded space was making her anxious, and she felt like she had no room to breathe. She didn't need to look at Marcus to know he was feeling the same so the moment those doors opened Marcus hastily pushed Jade out while the other two followed.

The closer she was pushed towards the door the greater her anxiety increased. She could feel the sunlight trying to blind her through the dark and it was already giving her a headache. She could see the door getting closer and closer and she freaked out.

"Stop." She breathed as she placed her hands on either side of the chair ignoring the burn as she tried to stop herself from moving forward any more. She felt Marcus stop as she was just mere meters away from stepping outside for the first time since she left the hospital.

She started to hyperventilate as she gasped for air. Her lungs had stopped working and she could feel her body begging for air. The pressure in her chest started to build as tiny black dots danced in front of her eyes from lack of oxygen. Her brain was signalling to breathe before she passed out, but her body wasn't obeying her, no matter how hard she tried.

"Hey, breathe Jade." She felt rough large hands on her face she assumed was Marcus, but she couldn't see as the black dots became larger. The hands were gently stroking her face as she gripped the side of her chair worried she was about to pass out any second from the lack of oxygen.

Marcus didn't have any idea what to do, so he did the only thing his brain could think of. He placed his lips on hers hoping he didn't get punched in the face again.

Jade felt soft, warm lips touch hers as Marcus kissed her. Her body was still begging for oxygen and when she felt his tongue run along the seams of her closed lips, she took a deep breath in. She was disappointed and sad when Marcus pulled away, but her panting like a dog was probably the reason. As Jade inhaled oxygen she tried not to appear winded but failed miserably.

Panting like a dog Jade's eyes watered as she finally started breathing and would not pass out. It took a couple of seconds for Jade to get her breath back and Marcus stood by watching and waiting.

"We can do this another day." He said as he realised maybe getting Jade out might not be the best thing for her today.

"No, it's fine, just give me a few minutes." She looked around and saw that Marco and Savannah were missing from their group. She looked outside and could see the sun was shining and people walking up and down the pathway as they continued with their day.

Jade wanted to go back up the lift and back to bed, but she needed to do this. She needed to do this for herself to prove she wasn't as broken as she believed.

Taking a deep breath, she gripped the sides of her chair and slowly began to push herself forward. Her heart was beating in her chest as Marcus opened the door for her.

The first thing she noticed was the air, it hit her like a brick wall and she deeply inhaled taking in the fresh air. She had to squint against the bright Australian light as pain from the sunlight went straight through her eyes and into the back of her head. It took a couple of seconds for her eyes to adjust and when she did she cried.

She felt tears run down her face and she couldn't stop them. The feeling of the sun warming her skin, the smell of fresh air and even the sound of day-to-day traffic made her cry. It was overwhelming.

She had spent so long inside she forgot what it was like to be outside. She wasn't crying because she was sad; she was crying because her sensors felt overloaded and she realised what she had been missing out these last couple of weeks. It also made her understand how close to death she was and how she nearly lost the opportunity to experience something so basic in life.

These feeling might be because of her meds making her tired and placid, but she didn't care, because for the first time in weeks she felt a spark of happiness.

Marcus kept his distance and watched as Jade pushed herself further onto the street. He could hear her soft cries and he was glad that his brother took savannah away until they were ready.

"I almost died," Jade whispered to herself, but Marcus heard. Until this point, Jade didn't realise how close to death she was until this moment. With the warm sun on her face and the smell of fresh air she realised she could have lost this all. That she could be in the ground rotting like her fallen comrades. Jade let out and a small laugh, closed her eyes and tilted her head up towards the sky as if she was seeing the light for the first time.

She heard Marcus coming to stand in front of her and she opened her eyes when she felt his hands on her face wiping away the tears that were falling.

"I don't even know why I am crying." She laughed again, and Marcus just smiled at her knowing her emotions were most likely a by-product of the strong medication she was on, but he was glad she was least smiling. Jade sniffled and wiped her nose on her jumper before she raised a hand to touch the side of Marcus' rough face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, and Marcus said nothing as he stood up.

"How about we go join Savannah and Marco in the car?" Jade nodded and let Marcus push her as her arms were sore and she was tired once again.

Neither Marco nor Savannah said anything when Marcus picked Jade up and put her into the back seat with Savannah. Jade smiled at the young girl wondering where she fit into anything, but she was so tired that she fell asleep before they even left the underground car park.

"So, Marco you in the army too?" Savannah asked about 5 minutes into their trip.

"Yup. Marcus and I are on the same team. Jade was in the team above us. So technically Jade outranks us." Savannah looked over the sleeping woman next to her admiring the strong women able to dominate in a male-dominated field. She also felt sorry for Jade and what she was going through and understood what is like to adjust your whole life around.

"So why did you really want to come out with us? Don't say it's because of school because I know you are lying." Savannah sighed and looked out the window.

"My family is suffocating me." That's all she said as she shrugged her shoulder. Marcus knew not to push her and they listened to the radio until they arrived at where their mother worked.

When Jade opened her eyes again, they were parking the car and she let out a yawn wishing she was in Marcus's bed sleeping rather than being outside. She didn't know why she agreed to come, but deep down she knew she wanted to do it because Marcus wanted her too even if it wasn't what she wanted.

Marcus helped her out the car and the four of them walked inside. Jade pushed herself in declining the help and saw Marcus's mother come up to the door to greet them.

"Jade, it's so lovely to see you again. I missed your face around here." She bent down and gave Jade an awkward hug before kissing the side of her face and standing up to greet her boys the same way.

"Mum this is Savannah. Savannah this is our mum Anne." Anne looked at the young girl then back to her boys knowing she would be asking a lot of questions about why they had a child with them.

"Pleasure to meet you come, come let's get you all a seat." Anne led them to a table in the back of the room where they all slide into booths and Jade sat at the end of her table. She rubbed her hands over her face and jumped when she felt Anne place her hands on her shoulder giving her an affectionate squeeze, before leaving them alone.

Jade leaned back in her chair as she felt a headache coming along at all the loud sounds from inside the restaurant. She could hear the mindless chatter of others around her and the scraping of every fork on the ceramic plates. She felt like her sensors were in overdrive and she wasn't used to so much noise. She had become so accustomed to the silence that all this noise was killing her.

She wished she could stand up and leave, but she was stuck in this chair. She couldn't go anywhere so she tried to listen as Savannah talked about school and tried to listen when they included her in conversation, but it was too hard. Every noise felt like it was on the same level and she couldn't block out the sounds she didn't want to hear.

"Jade." Marcus finally said when he noticed Jade was becoming unfocused. Jade looked at Marcus and noticed her food had arrived. She looked down at her knife and fork and her mind became blank.

She knew she needed it to eat, but she couldn't remember how. She knew that she had to pick up the silver before her, but her hands wouldn't move. It was like her mind had become a white box and she was standing in the middle of nothing. She looked at Savannah and saw her using the knife and fork and tried to copy her actions, but her brain wasn't connecting to her body.

"Fuck!" She slammed her hands on the table and wiped her arm across the table causing the plates to crash to the floor and break.

Everyone had gone silent and was staring at her as she slammed her fist into the table.

"Jade," Marcus whispered and reached out to touch her, but she slapped her hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me." Savannah sat still in her seat as she didn't know what was going on. It scared her that Jade would lash out at her. She knew the brothers wouldn't let that happen, but she just snapped. One minute she was fine, the next, snap.

"I said don't fucking touch me," Jade yelled again when Marcus tried to reach out for her.

"Jade, you need to stop yelling. You are scaring everyone." Marcus whispered. He knew he pushed Jade too far. Helen warned them both about this, but she had been fine this last week.

"Don't tell me what to do you fucking prick." Anne rushed over when she heard the commotion and what she saw broke her heart. Jade didn't know when she started crying, she wasn't even sad she was fucking livid she couldn't remember how to use a fucking fork.

She felt stupid and humiliated that she couldn't even remember the most basic function of eating.

"Why is my brain so fucked up?" Jade cried out as she started hitting her head with her hands trying to remember anything, but again her mind was coming up blank.

"Jade stop you are going to hurt yourself," Marcus said as she hopelessly watched Jade hit herself and try to pull out her hair.

"I'm sorry can everybody please leave. Food is one the house." Anne announced to the small café. Though there weren't many people inside she knew no one should be seeing this. Most of the people were regulars and knew about Anne's boys and Jade so they understood as they respectably left. Anne said sorry to everyone as they left and once everyone was gone she closed the door and put up the closed sign knowing the boss wouldn't care because she ran the place.

"So stupid, stupid." Jade murmured as she kept hitting herself while she cried in frustration.

Marcus had finally had enough of Jade hurting herself so not caring about the consequences she grabbed her hands to stop her from hurting herself any more.

"It's okay Jade." He didn't know what set her off but stopping her from hurting herself any more was his first job.

"No, it's not okay. I'm not okay." She went to go hit herself again, but Marcus kept a strong grip on her hands to stop her.

"Please stop hitting yourself." Marcus slowly let go of Jade's hands and moved closer, so he was basically in front of her. Jade still had tears coursing down her face and no matter how hard she begged them to stop they wouldn't.

"I want to go home." She said as her body and mind suddenly becoming extremely exhausted that she was ready to fall asleep in her chair.

"Okay." Jade watched as Marcus said something softly to his brother before getting up and started pushing her away. Jade didn't say goodbye to anyone ashamed and embarrassed she acted like that. She didn't want to. One minute she was fine when she was just so angry and now she was tired and sad. Marcus said nothing as he put Jade into the car and wasn't surprised by the time he packed up her chair and got into the driver's side to see Jade asleep. Sighing, he started the car and drove back to his place knowing he was going need to ring Helen to decided what they would do about Jade.