Chapter 4

When Jade woke up the next day she was so out of it, that it took a few seconds to gather her surroundings. However, one thing she knew for certain was that she was unbelievably hot. When she finally came around, she felt the pain in her chest but found herself unable to move.

"What the hell!" She whispered when she noticed tanned arms securely wrapped around her touching her breast. She tried to move, but the hand started to move to grab the other one.

"Stop moving." A husky voice mumbled from behind and Jade froze. She looked over her shoulder to see Marcus sleeping peacefully in her bed.

"What the actual fuck," Jade yelled startling Marcus as she tried to push against him until he fell off the bed with a thump.

"Why the fuck are you in my bed? Wait, why are you wearing no clothes? Wait why were you touching my boobs," Jade yelled as Marcus rubbed his head.

"Christ women, it's too fucking early for your banshee-like self." Jade's face grew red as she tried to get out of bed, but failed as her movements were sluggish.

"Excuse me, you where the fucker that was in my bed. So, explain or lord help me that pretty face of yours won't look so pretty." Marcus laughed as he stood up watching as Jade struggled to get out of the bed.

"You think I am pretty? Ah kitten, I am flattered." Jade clenched her fist after finally getting off the bed and went to charge at Marcus only to end up falling over herself and into his warm, hard and inviting chest.

"Whoa careful there, someone would think you want me." Jade pushed against his chest trying not to focus on how her hands felt on his warm bronze chest.

"Why were you in my bed? Better yet, why the fuck are you in my house?" Jade started to sway as her chest tightened in pain.

"Whoa careful Jade." Marcus guided her to the bed and sat her down as he rushed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Thanks," Jade said as she took her medication and let the cool water calm her down as it trickled its way down her throat soothing it from the screaming.

"How are you feeling?" She finished the water and held the glass in her lap.

"I am fine Marcus, just go home, please." Marcus frowned at her sudden change in mood. One minute she was yelling at him the next she looked sad.

"Jade, what's wrong?" He asked tilting her chin, so she was looking at him.

"What is wrong is that I want you to get the fuck out of my house. That is what I want." Jade screamed and watched as his face dropped, but she didn't have the energy to care as his face of concern was replaced with the cool exterior she met on the first day.

"Fine." He stormed out of her house slamming the door in the process cause Jade to flinch at the loud bang that followed. Once Jade knew he was gone and threw her glass at the wall and watched it shatter, much like her life.

Being in the hospital bought back too many memories and emotions that Jade just couldn't deal with. So, she did what she did best, she pushed everyone away to be by herself. She slowly made her way to her shower and found herself still in there, sitting on the floor two hours later.

Her skin was wrinkly, and she was cold, but that didn't matter because it took away the numbness inside of her. The numbness she wanted to go away. She got out of the shower and changed into sweatpants and a shirt and stumbled her way into the lounge room.

She wished that her pain would go away. She wished that this deep feeling of guilt and regret would stop eating her alive. She wished she could have saved her men in that abandoned hospital and she wished that she didn't have to see her best friend die.

She must have fallen asleep because when she woke there was knocking at her door and she was unbelievably hungry. She slowly got off the couch and had to use her crutches to get to the door. The moment she opened it she wanted to close it again.

"Jade, why didn't you call me?" Her mother said just walking into her place making herself at home.

"I am fine, mother and because I didn't see a point." Her mother tsked as she looked around the place giving it a look of disapproval.

"Have you ever thought about moving to a nicer place?" Jade rolled her eyes and sat on the couch and rested her leg ignoring her mother.

"Jade, what in god's name have you done to your body this time." Her mother asked looking at the brace that was on her leg.

"Nothing mother. It's not like you care." She mumbled the last part under her breath.

"What did you just say?" Her mother raised her voice and Jade rubbed her temples not in the mood to deal with the dragon lady today.

"What!" She yelled back wanting her mother to just leave already. However, she watched as her mother face turned red. She didn't even see it coming when her mother slapped her across her face, leaving a stinging sensation in its wake.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you ungrateful bitch?" Jade felt her vision tunnel in as she stumbled back away from her mother as she was taken to another time and place.

"Ungrateful bitch." They swore in their mother tongue shoving her forward along with the rest of her soldiers.

"We should just fucking kill them all." Another yelled out before the gunfire started and bombs detonated. Jade rushed to her gun and fired at whoever she could.

"Corporal, we have to move." Sergeant Smith yelled over the noise. She knew it was true, but they're still men inside.

"There are men still inside." She yelled knowing half their team was stuck inside.

"Corporal we need to go." Smith tried to pull her along, but she refused.

"No, we are not leaving them." Jade rushed forwards back into the building not caring if Smith was following behind or not.

"Jade put the knife down." A different my more calming voice said as Jade looked around the place looking for the threat.

"Jade I need you to drop the knife." Her hands were shaking as she tightened her grip shaking her head. She wanted to but her body wouldn't let her.

"You filthy animals" She spat in Pashto and they didn't move.

"Jade we are not the enemy, please drop the knife before you hurt someone." Jade just laughed hysterically as she heard crying in the background. She was so distracted that she didn't feel the person coming up behind her until someone took the knife from her hands and pushed her arms behind her.

"Let me go." She tried to fight back, but it was impossible as steel bands wrapped themselves around her.

"You are a monster." Jade's vision seemed to snap back into place in a few seconds and she realised where she was. She stopped fighting whatever giant was holding her and looked towards her frightened mother who was covering her mouth.

"Ma'am that not a nice thing to say. Your daughter is anything, but a monster." Jade looked towards Marco who was holding up his hands meaning that Marcus must be holding her.

"She held a knife to my throat." My mother dramatically pointed to the slight red line where the knife was held and Jade cringed internally knowing her mother would never forgive her for ruining her perfect porcelain skin.

"Ma'am you are fine. You should be more worried about your daughter. You must have said or set her off into a flashback." Her mother laughed and Jade's body started to sag against who she thought was Marcus, as she lost all her energy.

"My daughter is fine. Her job isn't even that important, she has done nothing for the country. Jade likes to lie to make herself feel important in the world." Jade closed her eyes wishing her mother just left.

"Ma'am with all due respects I suggest you leave." Marco forced out ready to put this woman into place.

"Fine, I can tell when I am not wanted. Oh, and Jade, your ex-called, said he had some stuff for you." With that, her mother left, and the room became silent.

"James, you can let her go." The person behind her let her go and Jade stumbled her way on the couch where she put her head between her legs remembering to breathe.

"Your mother is a bitch." Jade looked up and saw a huge man standing before her. He was taller than Marcus and packed way more muscles. He had long dark hair and a beard that made him look so damn sexy, along with his chocolate coloured skin.

"James." Jade shook his hand knowing he was in the army not just by his hands, but his physical appearance and presence in the room.

"Jade," James smirked as Marco came over with some water.

"Here, you need to keep hydrated." Jade kindly accepted the offer and slowly sipped on the water.

"What happened?" Jade asked as Marco and James made themselves comfortable.

"We were coming back from the firing range when we heard screaming. James broke down your door, sorry. Anyway, we come in to find you on top of your mother with a knife in your hand muttering Pashto." Marco said and Jade felt embarrassed that they had to see that.

"You pack a mean punch for a one-legged girl," James said rubbing his jaw.

"Sorry." He waved his hand like it was nothing.

"Thank you both for helping," Jade mumbled and Marco placed his hand on her good leg.

"It is ok Jade. It happens to all of us, heck there are still things that set me off." James agreed.

"Same I can't listen to the radio without freaking out." James put in two cent worth's in and Jade smiled.

"Thanks, guys, but I am ok now." They both gave her a look, and she waved them off.

"Jade," Marco said in a serious tone and Jade just sighed.

"Look I am ok. It is nothing I haven't dealt with before." Jade just wanted to be left alone because after these episodes she became paranoid and despised other people's company with a passion and having these men in her house was putting her on edge.

"Well Jade, you should join us at the shooting range next week so we can see what you are made of." Jade smiled at James' invitation as she fidgeted with the edge of her shirt.

"Jade, you sure you are ok?" Jade nodded as she wanted them out of her house as soon as possible, as her paranoia started to kick in.

"Yeah, I am fine." Jade started to walk them towards the door as she felt her body become more aware of her surroundings.

"Ok, just yell if you need anything." Marco gave her a quick hug and James gave her a nod before they both left.

The moment they left the house Jade rushed to all the windows and doors making sure they were all locked and the blinds were closed. Jade shook with adrenaline and she dashed into her room grabbing her knife and gun as she ran back into the lounge room and sat in a corner under the window making sure she had a view of all exit and entry points.

Jade sat there in the silence of her home for hours, as her body was on high alert for any threats whether they were a true or potential threat. Every time the tap dripped, or the wind moved against the windows outside Jade would flinch with her gun ready to shoot anyone who came in.

The gun made her feel safe even if she could only shoot 15 bullets. Her body was still shaking as her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in as her fingers twitched ready to fire the gun when needed. She could hear people moving outside her door causing her body to tense up ready to fight, however, they moved on allowing her body to relax a little.

As the day wore on Jade didn't move from her spot on the floor as she could do nothing until she was once again calm and her mind knew she wasn't in any danger.

She became hungry, but her hunger could wait over her safety. Her fingers were sore from clutching her gun and she found herself become emotionally tired.

Jade pushed through her tiredness and pinched herself whenever she found herself dozing off. Day turned to night and soon darkness ascended over her apartment. The only light that came through was the small crack in her blinds, but it was enough for her just to see what was going on as her eyesight adjusted to the darkness that surrounded her apartment.

Jade didn't move and it wasn't until sunlight broke through her blinds that Jade felt calm enough to get up from her spot and move around her apartment. She was tired from staying awake all night and very quickly crashed on her couch wishing one day everything would be back to normal for her.