My butt was completely numb by the time we were approaching the hotel. From inside the car, I could see the sun shimmering against the ocean and the endless stretch of white sand. I rubbed the sleep out from my eyes having fallen asleep for the last half hour of the drive. "Good morning. Thanks for helping me drive," Parker said with a grin.

"Sorry, I was so wiped because we left so early," I yawned, stretching my legs and arms out in front of me. "I can drive the rest of the way," I said, leaning closer to him with a smirk.

"We're ten minutes away. Thank you so much for offering, but I think I'll manage," he laughed.

"When's Holden coming down again?"

"Tomorrow morning. His flight gets here tonight around eight. The same flight we could have been on if you didn't insist on me not paying for your ticket."

"I can't afford a ticket right now, and don't want you to always pay for me," I retorted.

"We're still taking my car."

"It's the thought that counts," I beamed. "I also don't have a car. Besides, wasn't this fun!?" I exclaimed, leaning against the window to take in the view of the cliff that overlooked the water.

Parker's elbow was rested against the window with a hand on the steering wheel. The sunlight was coming through the window behind him, like a halo. He had the perfect cheekbones and a jawline sharper than my kitchen knife. But the thing I liked most was the way his dark brown eyes would also smile every time he grinned or laughed. It was how I knew when his happiness was real. A smile that made my heart melt. A smile that took away all sense of reason and logic from me.

"Why are you staring so much?" He asked, glancing from side to side.

"Just admiring your face," I said in a sing song voice. He suddenly exaggeratedly grasped the steering wheel with both hands before turning to face me.

"Woah careful with that kind of language! I nearly swerved off the road," he joked. I rolled my eyes.

We finally got to the hotel and Parker reversed into an open spot in the parking lot. As soon as my feet hit the gravel of the lot, I could smell the ocean in all its salty glory. Above us, the gulls squawked circling in the air. We hadn't seen sun like that in weeks. It was at its midday peak, bearing down on us.

The hotel was a faded white building with two large columns at its entrance. We gave reception our names and they handed us our key card. Parker swiped the card at the door for room 304. The red light blinked twice and chirped before he opened it, carrying our bags in.

The room had a small glass table with two matching chairs. The small balcony looked out onto the beach where countless people were frolicking in the water or lying on towels in the sun. The wardrobe sat in the corner of the room beside the bed. Like the entire theme of the hotel, the bed frame was of the same woven wicker design. The sheets were a crisp white, all tucked in and made up neatly.

It didn't hit me until then how close we'd be. Once we took out our outfits for the wedding and hung them up so they wouldn't be excessively crinkled, I sat down on the edge of the bed. Not quite sure how to bring up the topic, I just came out with it and said it. "So, I figure we should discuss our sleeping arrangements."

"Discuss, hey? Very profession, matter-of-fact, business-like. I like it," he grinned.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes. Then I realised I had no idea how to broach the topic. It was just so awkward because it'd never come up before.

"We can put a pillow in between us. Also, I'm a virgin," Parker suddenly said.

I nearly fell off the side of the bed with that information and apparently the shock had registered on my face. Was it how wide eyed I was or the fact my jaw was on the ground that gave it away?

"No need to act so surprised," he said. "Should I be offended?" He smirked.

"No. I'm just a little surprised."

"It's cause you think I'm super cute isn't it? I couldn't possibly have been single for so long?"

"Ok you can shut up again." He bent down and leaned in closer to meet me at eye level, trying to catch my line of sight. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Got ya," he grinned.

"Fine. I'm also...a virgin," I spat out.

"I mean...I'm not surprised," he said, a tug at the corner of his lips.

"What is that supposed to mean!?" I exclaimed.

"Kidding," he replied, sticking both hands into his pockets. "So..."

"About that...I want to wait," I stated.

"That's cool with me," he smiled, sitting down next to me. "Like I said, if you're worried about it, we can put a pillow in between."

"But maybe we don't need the pillow in between," I replied nonchalantly.

"Frisky. I like it," he laughed.

"Ok fine. I'm going to build a fort on my side of the bed and you better stay on your turf!" I crossed my arms to make a point. "Everyone thinks you're so level-headed and normal. You're actually so annoying," I remarked.

"Only with you," he grinned proudly. Just like that, he'd made my heart flutter again. "We should go down to the beach," he said.

I went into the bathroom to put on my bikini. I hadn't been to the beach in a long time, and it was probably because I hated how the sand ended up being everywhere after swimming. I turned and looked in the mirror. I could see a slight muffin top bulging out over the bottoms, and I wobbled when I walked. Maybe next summer. I just wasn't feeling confident, and I wanted to enjoy my afternoon at the beach. I grabbed the rashie and pulled it over the top.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was surprised to see Parker in a pair of black boardshorts (which didn't surprise me at all) but no shirt on. He had broad squared shoulders and definition in his chest abdomen.

I wiggled my toes and looked around the room, anywhere to keep myself from staring at him. "Cute rashie," he said with a wink. Again, the heat rushed to my face. I felt self-conscious standing there with that much skin exposed in front of him.

He grabbed a white linen shirt from the bed and put it on, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows. We left the room and walked down to the beach. "I wanna dip my toes in the water!" I exclaimed. We jogged out to the edge of the water where the waves were coming up occasionally. We walked along it, the cold water lapping at our ankles. My toes sunk deep into the wet sand.

There were laughs coming from a group near us. There were a couple of guys and girls. The girls were all in bikinis and they looked amazing. Suddenly, my fears came back again. The stretch marks on the side of my butt, the wobbliness of my thighs.

"Let's swim," Parker grinned. He took the linen shirt off and left it further up on the sand away from the water. "Come on," he said, taking my hand, wading a little further until the water was at our shins. Then there was a playful tug at the corner of his mouth. Suddenly, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, running into the freezing water. Then he let go and I was enveloped by water, the cold nipping at my skin as I brought my head back above water, the glimmer of sun reflecting into my eyes.

"I'm a pretty bad swimmer," I said when I came up for air, using my hands to sweep the stray hair backwards out of my face.

"What a coincidence. I'm a pretty good swimmer. That sounds like a good match," he replied.

"Of course you're a good swimmer. Is there anything you can't do?" I laughed. He took hold of my waist and we kept kicking our feet. Even though the water was freezing, all I could feel was the warmth coming from his hands and the butterflies in my stomach.

All my worries about people staring at me, judging me disappeared. Everyone was at the beach to have a good time. I wasn't looking at people and judging them and they weren't doing it either.

Parker took one of his hands off me and before I knew it, he'd flicked me in the face with water. "Woah!" I exclaimed. I quickly paddled away and used both palms to push the water at him, making a small wave.

We finally got out of the water and the skin on my fingers and toes were positively shriveled up like prunes. Every gush of wind that came past raised goosebumps on my skin. Parker picked up his shirt and put it over me. "Next time we go down to the beach, I can teach you how to surf," he said.

"I can barely swim. I think I might die," I laughed.

We spent a while at the beach before stopping at a small burger shop by the boardwalk for dinner. The grin seemed to be permanently etched into my face, and the muscles on my cheeks were almost sore from how much I'd laughed all day.

We were still laughing when he swiped us back into the room. He was behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in to kiss the tip of my ear, knowing I was ticklish. My neck retreated and I laughed so hard I nearly snorted. He spun me back around, our eyes meeting. He was perfect, and he made me feel perfect, special and safe. Looking into his eyes, at his face, I wasn't sure how my year had ended up at that point. Never would I have imagined in my wildest dreams dating him, and being in a hotel by the beach with him.

He brushed his thumb against the side of my cheek, and he titled my chin upwards with his finger, his lips meeting mine. A tingle ran down my spine, igniting every nerve, leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

He deepened the kiss and I found myself on my tip toes to meet him. We backed further into the room, a flurry of gasped breaths, my heart racing, my feet moving backwards against the wooden floorboards. The back of my knees hit the edge of the mattress, bending across the side.

He lowered me onto the bed, both hands underneath my shirt on my waist, his fingertips burning into my skin. My hands were in his hair while his lips began trailing across my jaw, down the side of my neck.

He pulled away from me, his breath ragged. His deep brown eyes were looking straight down into mine. His body was still hovering above mine, so close I could feel the heat radiating from him. "We said we wanted to wait," he said. "Do you still want to wait?"

I hesitated. My mind was going a million miles an hour, the skin where he'd touched me still buzzing. "Yes," I replied. He got up and helped me back up. We both paced around on the spot, looking at our feet. Every time I looked up and caught his eye, we both looked away.

I opened my mouth, but I didn't know what to say. An apology? An explanation?

Parker came back to me and he brought his arms around me, kissing the side of my head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can handle sleeping next to you tonight," he said. "I'll sleep on Holden's couch."

"Okay," I said, almost silently.

He left the room and I immediately dove under the covers. My heart was still racing, the tingling in my body from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. None of this changed the fact that I wasn't ready, but one thing I did know for sure was how I felt. It was something I'd felt even before this, but the moment he'd stopped himself, the moment he'd asked, there was no denying it any longer.

I went back out of the room towards Holden's. My footsteps quickened along the corridor that only seemed to be getting longer. Just as I was coming to the room, Parker came out. I had to say it before my brain had a chance to kick in. Truth be told, I was terrified, because this was the point of no return.

Once the words left my mouth, there was no way I wasn't going to get hurt if things went wrong.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He'd said it without hesitation. I let go of the breath I'd been holding, relief flooding my veins like a chill running through my body. The creases in his forehead softened and the corners of his lips turned into a gentle smile. "I was going to come back because I shouldn't have left like that. I need to explain because I don't want you to misunderstand," he began. "I left because I needed to cool down. The truth is, I don't care if we don't have sex. I'll wait until you're ready, until we're both ready. I just want you by my side. I only want you."

I grinned so broadly I thought my cheeks would rip as the tears prickled the back of my eyes. I got up onto my tip toes and with a small jump managed to wrap my arms around his shoulders and squeeze him tightly. His arms rounded my back and hugged me back.

"I'm only crushing you this tightly to make sure you're real," I whispered. "Because how can you be so perfect if you were real?" I let go.

"I'm not perfect Sorenson."

"Well, in my books, you're pretty damn close." I paced back and forth between the two walls, swinging my arms around as if I could shake the adrenaline off. "Now I'm too keyed up to go to sleep."

"Go down to the beach for a walk?" He grinned, holding out his hand.

"Obviously," I said, taking it.

--

yes, I have named this chapter and will have to go back and rename some old chapters and some unnamed ones : )

many apologies for the skipped update – I hope the fact that this was a super long chapter made up for this

this chapter was super challenging for me to write!!

lol I had mad difficulties writing the kissing scene – am open to feedback :'D the bit at the end I found easy to write; it flowed very nicely and was quite typical of their characters

xoxo

also a bit weird but I think I'm definitely in love with this fictional couple

love always,

daria xoxo