* * *

Air was for those who deserved it. You needed to earn it.

One wrong move.

And one with the power could take it.

Imaginative hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me down. They were gentle; coaxing. They stroked my skin; warmed my veins. The water was warm; the worries were gone- fading, dispersing.

"-ea..."

I jolted with a gasp.

Panicking, I grabbed for whatever was near as the calm lure of sleep turned into a burn of desperation as my lungs suffocated and filled with water.

I choked and coughed.

A large hand clamped down on my shoulder, holding me from slipping back into the water. Its grip was tight and firm. I swatted it away and backed up towards the side of the tub, my back towards the large window that reflected the brightly lit washroom and hid the dark, starless night outside.

Reflected in it, I had no doubt, was the image of Axel as he stood back at the side of the tub. His hands were raised, showing he meant no harm. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up just past his elbows, but that still didn't save the black fabric from darkening with water on one arm.

My panicked eyes travelled up his solid body before reaching his face.

Which is why he had such a long moment to get a good eyeful. It was clear he was using it to his advantage, too.

The water violently splashed around me as I wrapped my arms around my chest while simultaneously saving myself from drowning as my body slipped on the smooth porcelain tub from the sharp, jerky action.

"Woa-"

"No!"

I shouted, raising a panicked palm as I curled my body into the side of the tub, turning my back towards Axel while pushing my bare breasts into the still chilled part of the tub. I shivered violently at the intense shift from the warmth of the water to the cold of the porcelain open to the chilled air.

I had been less aware of it in the heat of the moment with Ezra, but my insecurities were coming rearing back in Axel's presence. His utterly beautiful and handsome features weren't doing anything to make me feel better about my saggy skin or stretch marks. There was nothing like comparing yourself to the closest thing you would ever consider labelling as godly. He seemed to be carved from marble while I probably didn't even stand up to the leftover pile of rubble.

Axel stopped mid-motion. He was partially reaching out towards me, looking like he was about to help.

I huddled impossibly further into the hard side of the tub.

"Careful," he said. "I know I'm a sight to see, but remember what I said about the falling." He straightened as he talked while making sure that I could still see his slightly spread hands, trying to seem less threatening.

That didn't help with the embarrassed flush of being exposed from coursing through me when his eyes flicked back down towards my now hidden breasts. They were quick to flick back to my face. Just like his tongue was quick to flick out over his lips. The heat in them was clear.

"I knocked," he said. His voice sounded booming as it bounced off the water as it waved in the large tub around me. "But you never responded." He put his hands in his pockets, the move brought my focus to his veined forearms that were dusted with hair. "So I thought I'd check to make sure everything was fine. I heard water through the door," he added like it excused everything.

An awkward silence hung in the wair when he was done talking. One would assume that would have been a natural cue for him to leave the bathroom he had intruded into, but apparently not.

I swallowed before moistening my lips and speaking. My knuckles were white from tightly gripping the edge of the tub. "Can you close the door behind you?" I said, not so subtly indicating he should leave.

He blinked rapidly at me, shocked for a moment. His mouth opened and closed slightly.

I nervously glanced at the door behind him before looking towards my clothes that lay haphazardly on the floor.

"Oh," he coughed into his fist before roughly rubbing his hand over his mouth. "Right. I'll leave you to finish up." He grabbed the knob with his hand and looked over his shoulder at me. "I'm going to be waiting in your room. I need to speak with you."

My heart rate jumped.

"Okay," I replied. It wasn't like I could say no.

All I wanted to do was sleep for the night. I was done with everything and didn't even want to think about what the next day would hold.

Once he had left and closed the door behind him, I quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself before grabbing the same clothes that I had taken off and put them back on hastily. I prioritized feeling safe and secure over maintaining feeling fresh and clean.

Once I was ensured that I was covered, I opened the door and walked into the bedroom. Axel was seated on the bed, leaning forward, his elbows rested on his knees and his chin in the crock of his thumbs of his clasped hands. He bounced his leg up and down. His body moved, slightly jittery. His cheeks seemed sunken in and hollow compared to last week. His skin was dull and ashy. He lacked the vibrancy he had when I had first met him.

When he noticed me walk in, he straightened.

I wrung the towel that I still carried in my hands as I stayed near the bathroom door. I didn't turn my back towards him. Not after last time. Especially not after Jaxon had already snuck up behind me earlier.

He nervously wiped his hands on his thighs. "I know it's late and that you probably don't want to see me," he started as I continued to watch him. He stood up but didn't step closer to me. "But, I wanted to apologize for the other night in the stables. I was unstable and out of line. I should have had better control over myself."

I tilted my head slightly as I listened to him apologize. It seemed slightly off- slightly forced. And, as someone who has had to feign sincerity more than I ever thought I would need to, I could tell he lacked any genuine sincerity in his words.

I stayed by the bathroom.

He paced near the bed.

"Zev should not have needed to interfere because it should not have escalated to that point." He stopped and looked at me. "I want to make it very clear, Nea," he said seriously. It was the most genuine he had sounded since I had walked into the room. "I am not like that."

I looked at him. Really looked at him. He stood strained. His posture and muscles- strained. He reminded me a tad bit about Zev. It was in the seriousness and need to convey that they didn't condone the violation of people in their household- even those they hated.

I nodded my head.

Was it the truth? Did I believe his words?

No.

He had already proven what he was like that. His words now would be like me eating a piece of cake in front of someone then claiming I never ate it to them.

But better he believed I was stupid and gullible than that I was someone he needed to keep an eye on and worry about. Plus, was this conversation really necessary? Jaxon had already done far worse than him and I bet the thought that he had done something wrong probably hadn't even crossed his mind yet.

"Good," he said, sounding slightly relieved.

I looked towards the door. I was tired and looking forward to sleeping. Axel didn't seem to get the message.

"I want to make it up to you," he said.

I tensed slightly. What now?

He smirked at me. "I heard about how dress shopping for the party went south."

I tensed at the mention of that day. Did he know about what happened, too?

"I don't know what Jaxon said to set Ezra off, but I wish I was there to be an iconic and legendary eye witness to the once in a Blue Moon event of seeing Ezra lose his temper."

I breathed a sigh of relief. So Ezra didn't tell him. Neither did Zev. I flattened the smile that threatened my lips.

I moved towards the dresser near me and grabbed the hairbrush that sat on top of it. Running it through my hair, I kept my attention focused on Axel.

"What does that have to do with what you were saying?" I asked nervously. I didn't like to be reminded of that disaster of a day.

"Right, dress shopping!" He snapped his fingers, refocusing on the discussion at hand. "I heard you weren't able to pick one before things went bad," he said, putting his hand back in his pocket, "I'll take care of that so you don't have to worry about it with everything else."

I didn't know whether to be relieved or frightened by his words.

On the one hand, I was happy that I didn't have to be put through more tedious hours of trying on and buying clothing- something that I hadn't realized could be so exhausting. On the other, the thought of letting a near-stranger- that's what he was despite the many short walks we shared- decide and pick a dress for me set my anxiety through the roof. I wasn't looking forward to the party anyway, the thought of being put into an intentionally hideous dress to be humiliated made everything feel worse.

I just nodded along with Axel's words. He must have noticed how tired and uninterested in the topic I was because he was quick to dismiss himself and leave me to myself.

Alone in the room, I stood and listened to the faint hum of silence that surrounded me.

Setting the brush back down on the dresser, I pulled back the downy cover on the bed and situated myself amongst the softness. A sigh of relaxation escaped my lips as the bed enveloped me. I savoured it while blocking out the past and the future, focusing just on the present.

On the small and temporary luxury of enjoying an expensive bed.

Not on the fact that three of the men in the manor had seen my chest.

It didn't take long for sleep riddled with horrors to take over.