"No, no, please. Let me see them!" Another cry calls out. My body immediately jolted up and I ran into Jax's room.

He was shaking, rolling around, and crying. His hand gripped onto the sheets almost ripping them.

"Jax, I'm here." I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers together. "I'm right here. We're safe." I whispered trying to calm him down.

He slowly opened his eyes, tears coming out.

I stared at him with nothing but sadness in my eyes.

"I'm sorry for waking you up. I can't help it." He mumbles put his other arm over his face.

"I know you can't, don't apologize." I shook my head.

He's been getting nightmares every day, I tried laying with him for a couple of nights but he still ends up waking up crying and shaking. I didn't know what to do.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"Would you like to try going to a therapist?" He shook his head which causes me to sigh. "I know great people who I went to who can help you."

"I don't want to go." He chokes out.

"In order for you to get better, you need professional help," I tell him.

"Can we talk about this in the morning?" He asks me with his glossy eyes.

"Yeah." I pulled my hand away from his and got up. I felt my wrist being pulled back.

"Stay with me? Please?"

"Yeah," I say quickly not even hesitating. He scooted over to the left and I laid down.

"Is it okay if I held you? Just for tonight?"

"Mhm." And with that he pulled me closer to him, both arms wrapped around my body tightly like he didn't want to let me go. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck.

I missed this, him holding me as we slept. The warmth, the comfort. I wanted everything to go back to normal but I rather have this than nothing.

~

"Hey, mommy!" Sol says jumping on the bed.

"Hey, baby." I rubbed my eyes. Jax was no longer laying next to me. "Where's your daddy?"

"He left for a jog but grandpappy Lev and grandpappy Icey are here!" She says laying on top of me.

"Did you eat breakfast?" I cuddled with her, being that I was too tired to get up.

"Icey gave us ice cream and waffles."

"Is there more?"

"Yeah."

Ahh yes, food. I love me some food.

"Alright time for mommy to get up."

She climbed off of me and ran out of the room. As I walked out my dad Levi stood in front of the door.

"Hello," I said.

"Are you and Jax back together? Why were you sleeping in there? What's going on?" He questions.

It's too early for all these questions.

"We're not back together. I was sleeping I'm here because he's been having trouble sleeping." I answered walking down the stairs as he followed behind me.

"Trouble sleeping?" He asks making me laugh. This man is so nosey. I love it.

"Yes dad, trouble sleeping. I just help him fall asleep."

"Help him?" He gasps. "Help him how?" He narrows his eyes at me making me laugh.

"Dad, not like that." I groaned. "I just let him hold me until he can sleep."

"Oh well, that sounds a lot better than what I was expecting your answer to be." He chuckles. "Good morning sweetie." He smiles oh so innocently.

"Good morning." I smiled as he kissed my forehead.

"Look it's my favorite child!" Issac says. The triplets glared at him. "I was joking, put your glares back in its cages."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my head. "Good morning babe."

"Good morning dad."

I looked over at all the kids. "Good morning trouble makers."

"Good morning mommy."

"Good morning sissy."

I smiled and grabbed a plate.

"Where's Jax?" Kai asks.

"He's out."

"On a Saturday morning?" Issac asks raising an eyebrow.

"He's been going out on runs to clear his mind." I shrugged.

"Well, we're gonna leave the kids here while we go on a date," Levi says grabbing his bag.

"What? Date? I never agreed to watch—"

"Well, we're your parents so you have to. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast but we have to go now. Goodbye kiddos!" Issac says quickly grabbing Levi's hand and they ran out the door.

Well, Levi skipped out the door but ya know same thing.

"So what are we going to do today?" Aria asks.

"Movie day?" I asked and they all nodded.

After we all finished breakfast I had the kids help me with dishes and cleaning. Kai, Bodhi and Dakota were in charge of cleaning the counter while Journey, Aria and Sol helped dry the dishes and put them away.

We all know toddlers don't like to listen but they know better than to make me mad on a Saturday morning.

After we finished in the kitchen, all the kids went to set up a fort in the living room and I let Journey be in charge of the remote.

Jax came back with sweat all over his face and smiled at me.

"We need to talk," I whispered. He nods and mouths 'later'

I sat in the kitchen with my laptop looking over our finances for the business waiting for Jax.

After what felt like hours he came into the kitchen.

"Hey." He spoke.

"Hi."

"I don't wanna go." He tells me referring to our conversation last night.

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't want to." He argues.

"That's not a valid reason," I argued back. "Look if you're not comfortable with speaking to a woman then I know a guy—"

"A guy?" He furrows his brows making me roll my eyes.

"Yes, he's really good. I went to him for a couple of weeks."

"Brynnley, I just don't wanna talk about it with anyone else but you."

"Well you can't hold it in and I'm not a professional. I don't know how to help you." I sighed. "Please. Just try it out. If you don't feel better in a couple of sessions then we could go to a different person or stop for a while."

"I'll think about it."

"You better, don't just say that and not think," I warned making him smile.

"Fine, fine. I will."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

published: march 27th, 2021

I hope everyone is having a great day so far! Somebody from the first book is gonna make a little comeback and she's somebody you don't like however she is more mature now. Knowing you guys, you'd still hate her lmao.

For today's thingy what is one app you can't live without? For me it's wattpad. Wattpad has been my safe spot since I was in the sixth grade. Almost everyone on this platform are super supportive and nice like ughh y'all are so nice to me and I just feel so loved on here.

Thank you for making life so much better for me, without you guys I wouldn't be the person I am. Every comment I get, means the absolute world to me and I love replying to them. If anyone is every feeling sad/lonely or even happy and you want to share it with someone, you can always contact me on twitter (message me for it) or on here.

I hope everyone has an amazing week/weekend. Please remember to stay safe and love yourself. Love you, MUAH!