*Trigger Warning: Mentions of Suicide*

If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicide, please go get help from an adult. Please talk to someone about it. Do not give up because you are meant to be here. You do have a purpose. You will be happy, you will heal. It's a long process but it'll be worth it.

"So Blair came back and you're gonna have her meet Journey tonight?" Kian asks Jax who nods. He looks over to Dylan who rolls his eyes.

Dylan has been awfully quiet since we told him that Blair came back. Every time he heard her name he rolled his eyes.

"Hey Dylan can you come help me move Journey's drawers?"

"Why would you need help-"

"Would you just come help me dammit!" I stomped my foot and he gets up quickly following me. I go into her room and I closed the door.

"I think the drawer is perfectly fine where it is." He says.

"What's wrong with you? You haven't said anything since we told you about Blair."

"I never call girls bitches but that girl is a big bitch." He spats crossing his arms.

"Why? What did she do to you?"

"She manipulates people, she's mean and loves to bring other girls down. I hate people who do that." He says without making eye contact. He looks down and scribbles random things on the carpet with his foot.

"There's something else isn't there?" I asked and he looks up.

"I had a girlfriend two years ago. I wasn't friends with Jax at the time. I dated this girl named Tara she was the most beautiful geeky girl I've ever laid eyes on. Blair and her group of friends always picked on her and I wasn't bold like I am now so I was afraid to stick up to them. One day I came over and found her in the bathroom with cuts all over her arm and I um..." He starts sniffling.

I embraced him into a hug.

"I didn't know she did that. I should've know that there was something wrong with her but she just hid it so well. She was my first everything and I lost her because of Blair. I found a note saying that she couldn't handle being bullied and getting picked on anymore." He pauses. I could feel his tears slide down my shoulder.

"I never got to say goodbye to the girl I love." He whispers and I hugged him even tighter.

The door opens and I see Kian and Jax.

"We're sorry man," Kian whispers.

Dylan gets out of my hold and they all hug each other.

I stand there in 'awe'

Dylan turns to me and hugs me again. "Thank you for listening."

"Anytime. Tara always spoke about this boy but I didn't know it was you." I told him and we pulled apart. He gives me a confused look.

"Tara Wilson. She was a good friend. I moved away for a while because being here was tough for me. Everything reminded me of her." I told him.

"Did you know she had depression?"

"No." I wiped the tear that was falling on my cheek.

He nods. "I'm gonna go home."

"I'll take you." Kian hugs me and then follows Dylan out.

"We should cancel on Blair tonight. Maybe tonight—"

"No don't. Journey should meet her mom tonight." I reassured him wiping the rest of my tears.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I smiled.

He hugs me.

~

"Hey welcome to Johnny Rockets. Table for three?" The nice lady asks us.

"We're actually meeting someone. Blair Anderson."

"Oh yes, follow me." She guides us through the restaurant. Blair sits there with a caked face and revealing cloths.

She looks up at Jax and her eyes land on me. Hatred fills her eyes.

Jax lets me go in the booth first and then hands Journey to me.

"Blair meet my girlfriend Brynnley. You may know her from elementary."

"Yeah she's Tara's cousin." She smirks. Oooooo that bitch.

"And this is Journey as you already know."

"She's such a big beautiful baby." She opens her arms out for Journey.

I tried to hand Journey to her but Journey wouldn't let go of me.

"No, mama!" She cries.

"I just want to hold her." Blair fake pouts at Jax who looks at me.

"I don't think she's comfortable enough yet. Maybe after she eats?" I told him and he nods.

Blair scoffs and then leans on the table which makes her boobs very noticeable.

Jax barely even notices.

I felt my phone vibrate on my butt and I took it out.

Dylan: How's everything going?

Brynn: I wanna smash her face already.

Dylan: Do it, I'll bail you out.

Brynn: Not in front of Journey lol

Dylan: Whenever. I have bail money.

I smiled at the text and then put my phone away. Our food came and Jax and Blair were catching up on whatever it is while I fed Journey.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back." Jax tells us both and we both nod.

Blair looks over at me with a smirk. "How's Tara?"

I rolled my eyes and continued to feed Journey.

"I'm gonna take everything that you stole from me back. My daughter and Jax." She laughs.

"Sure." I gave her a fake smile causing her face to turn red.

"You know it's sad that Tara took her own life. We were only joking."

"You were bullies. She didn't deserve anything that you did to her."

"Yeah but who cares now? She's dead." She laughs again.

If Journey wasn't here I would've broken her nose already.

Jax comes back and they talk for a while more. Jax was starting to look like he was having fun while I sat here texting Kylie about how awful I feel right now.

"Can I hold my daughter now?" Blair asks.

I picked up Journey and tried to hand her to Blair.

Key word, tried.

"Mama no!" Journey yells.

"Journey, that's your birth mom."

"No mama." She shook her head and laid her head on my chest.

"Can I please hold my daughter?" Blair asks me again.

"She is uncomfortable. Can you be patient?" I asked trying to sound as nice as possible.

"Journey, listen to me. She is your mommy and she just wants to hold you."

"No." She pouts.

"Please?"

"No."

"For me?"

"No." She starts tearing up.

"Just give me her!" Blair grabs Journey out of my grip.

"What the hell? You don't just grab a baby like that." I yelled at Blair. She smirks at me before pouting too.

"I'm sorry Jax. I just wanted to hold our daughter." Oh no she didn't. He isn't gonna fall for that lame —

"It's okay. Babe, you're causing a scene." Jax tells me and I look at him with disbelief.

I scoffed and shook my head. He is ridiculous.

"Mama! Mama!" Journey cries reaching out for me.

I wanted to hold her but Blair turned around blocking me.

"Let her hold Journey," Jax says.

I slouched knowing that Journey was crying for me and they weren't letting me hold her.

Jax is going to get a mouth full when we get to his house.

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published: october 14th, 2020

hey, i hate school.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and make sure to enjoy your day and week.