Chapter 23

Adams POV

My heart fell so crushed, just the rejection made me like this. But it was worse watching someone who is connected to you by blood walk away from you in the arms of another man. My daughter is something out of the world. I knew for a fact I would die for her in a blink of an eye. But when I saw her being taken away, crying franticly, kicking Taren so his grip would loosen, that is what made me come into realisation. I had to fight for both my mate and daughter. I had to clean up my act, pull myself together and start acting like a real man.

Then tears formed in my eyes, I blinked them hard to get rid of any evidence of tears. I couldn't cry, I had to be strong. I knew it pained me to watch my little girls face fall, but I had to still know Mariah did it for our daughters benefit. Even though i wanted to snap that pretty boys neck in half i had to keep cool. I knew Mariah would literally have me on my death bed if i made a move taking Alina from his hold. It pained me that i couldn't even protect her or hold her. Hold her like how Mariah held her.

I wanted the same reaction Alina had when Mariah was there. I wanted her to realise i am her father and every time she sees me she comes running to me. But it was all too late. I was losing it all to James. I willingly pushed his name out my head, i didn't want to do something o him which i would regret.

I was losing the fight of keeping the 2 most important things in my life. I knew I had to fight for Mariah's heart, if I couldn't get Mariah's trust, then how would I be in my daughter's life? How I would I be able to make her call me father.

But I clenched my hand on the steering wheel remembering Mariah talking about her alpha 'James'. I hated this guy. He is stealing what belongs to me. I bet he's already got Alina calling him father. I was angry with both James and Mariah. They're both adults and maybe start acting like one. She is totally in the wrong leaving me in the dark, not mentioning to me that she had my daughter.

That's when something had hit me more efficiently. It was the fact that the bond that instantly created between both Alina and I. There was no instant connection between me and Jesse's unborn child. I never have the urge to protect her or the baby. I was right all this time. Jesse had got pregnant by a human. No scent or bond was connected with a werewolf so it must be human. No supernatural was in that baby's scent. It was all human. I grimaced at the thought of it.

All my life, I have been forced to be the exact copy of my long lost brother. But I could not take it anymore, I just started snapping over the years. And poor Mariah has been caught up with it all. I know no excuse in the world can make me be forgiven, but the issues and problems I had to face at a young age has never been fair. I took on the duty of an alpha, that had been forced upon me. I had never wanted to become a leader, all I ever wanted was Mariah and have a family. My father had turned me into this monster.

He wanted me to change the way i acted, he wanted me to be more fierce and act like a leader. No one knew this about Adam Teel. He has always been so weak and vunerebale. As a kid i had been abused by men who told my father they would protect me and teach me about being an alpha. But no they scarred my body like an artwork, they said this was part of me becoming a real man. No one has ever seen these scars on my body that lead all the way from my back to my stomach, i hid them perfectly well and told my self never to show them to anyone. I never reveal my body, and I'm glad i never have to. All i wanted was to be the old Adam Teel, loving and caring. But no my brother had to leave and I had to become and alpha. The brother that promised me he would always be by my side. But no, he wasnt their when these men beat me, scarred me and made me like this. All the violence i use and my temper is becuase of them. Thinking about everytime they poked the silver knife into my skin, as I hoplessly begged them not to. They said this was part of my task of becoming an alpha; instead they turned me into this monster.

It is never easy to keep my wolf in control, becuase of my past, it makes me do things which i regret. Like the fact what i had done to Mariah.

I never wanted this life. And my father perfectly knew that, and that had been the exact reason that made Leo run away and never come back.

Then all of a sudden i felt a sting near my heart area and i felt blood trickle down my face. I touched my throbbing head, which instantly made me shoot my head up. I had just been in a car crash. I quickly got out the car limping my way out. I knew I wasn't going to die, but the impact told me I wasn't going to have an easy get away.

As people surrounded me, I growled instantly. I didn't want any help from anyone. I just wanted to go home and sleep. I felt tired all of a sudden. Like I said, I just wanted to go home and sleep.

I crouched down, putting my throbbing head in my palms. Then all I could feel was the cold pavement hitting my back. I could hear people screaming and the sirens invading my ears, but i didn't really care. I wanted my daughter in my arms.

.................

"Your awake I see" I watched as a doctor I remembered directly called Dr Samuel walk into the room, smiling at me. I frowned at the confusion. I don't know why all of a sudden i felt so upset and depressed. I was becoming bipolar.

I just nodded, but I growled at his stupidity of course i was awake. I'm sitting perfectly on the hospital bed with my legs hanging over the bed. I think that showed a sign of me being awake.

I looked up at Dr Samuel who was looking down at his clipboard, assessing anything hat had been written on the paper. I remembered him as one of the most trusted man in one of our neighbourhood pack. His pack and mine were really close and had trusted each other for a very long time. This was because Dr Samuels alpha was Mariah's uncle. I still never understood when Mariah got exiled, why she never went to her uncle's pack. I was still in confusion then I remembered she must have been pregnant and didn't want people to look at her in any disgust. I shook my head in disappointment and i felt my head hurting. I had guilt written all over me. Because of me Mariah wasn't able to have a proper life. This was my entire fault. Only if I never rejected her and made her feel like she is my mate. But no, I had to be the jerk I was and I messed up my life.

"It's a good thing you're a werewolf or you'd be on your death bed" he commented scanning my injuries. He came forwards taking the bandage off my head.

He looked down at my stomach which was covered by the gown i had been wearing. I felt scared, that he must have witnessed my scars. He shook his head, and opened his mouth but shut it again. I bet he thinks they are from wars or crossing path with the hunters.

But no in reality it was done by the men that i rule now. I control their every move, they fear what they have made me into. I hope they're happy.

But thinking about the crash made me realise that it was a pain that i made Mariah feel.

"I deserved it though" I muttered under my breath. I felt so venerable this minute. All I wanted was my mate and daughter in my arms. I wanted the pain I felt all these years from the departure of both my mate and brother to be gone, and the only way is to hold Mariah and my daughter in my arms. Give them the world on a golden plate. I would do anything just to get my family back.

I knew Dr Samuel was frowning at my inquisition, but I knew I deserved it. He sighed taking a step back writing something about my injuries on his clipboard.

"How can you possibly say something like that? No one deserves a crash that could nearly end your life. Trust me your crash could have killed a werewolf to" he shook his head in disagreement.

"Well if you've made many mistakes like me you would not mind taking a crash like that"

"Well then I see you're not in denial of your wrong doings. But that doesn't mean you should beat yourself up about it. You should rise from the mistakes you had made and maybe change for that person you hurt"

I could see the intelligence in this man. He was actually a very clever man, who understood the mind of a person and mental issues. So whatever came out of his mouth i believed and maybe the things he told me to do I would do. No wonder why I automatically felt trust for him.

But then I looked up at him, he tilted his head. I knew what he was thinking. How can a ruthless and strong alpha in the world act like this? I knew no one had seen this side of me and I believe he is the only one. The regret I felt only he could see.

"It's not that easy in my defence. She's... in love with someone else" I whispered, as voice quivered.

Dr Samuel presence was now next to me. He put an arm around my shoulder patting it. I felt a smile twitch on my lips. But then I frowned that my father could never be like this with me.

I had realised how venerable I looked so I put my head up and puffed out my chest. I didn't want to looks so weak. I have a reputation to uphold. I heard Dr Samuel chuckle beside me. He removed his hands from my shoulder.

"Ah I see women problem" I nodded. "Well then if you want to win her back I would insist you pick out your faults and make her see your changes. Maybe let her help you" I shook my head.

"She also has my daughter which I never knew about" I took an intake of breath remembering my little daughter.

"Wow kid" he looked blown always my words.

"The thing is I know she'll never be mine" I said giving up hope; that is if I had any left.

"You can't possibly say that. She had sex with you willingly and she should had informed you straight away"

I shook my head viciously, closing my eyes tightly. I felt like Dr Samuel could help me and the trust I felt with him was obviously there. And I needed to let it out my chest.

"But that the thing.... it wasn't willingly" I heard a deep intake of breath coming from him. I closed my eyes; I have never admitted that to anyone, because I've been in denial all this time. But when I looked up at my daughter I realised my mistakes in the past. I could see the horror on Mariah's face when I took away her innocence forcefully. I shook my head in disgust.

All I could think about was if someone took my daughter by force. If they raped her the way i had. I felt the anger within me. Just the thought made me angry, but now I realised it. What would her father have felt? More likely what did Brad feel? I took her innocence in front of her brother. I made them watch while I made her cry in pain. I made her feel disgusting. I spat on her face.

Now i understood the pain and neglect i made her feel. How could i be called an alpha when i couldn't even protect her? I was meant to treat everyone equally. What had i done?

I felt a tear stream down my face. I quickly wiped it away.

Dr Samuel sat beside me squeezing my shoulder gently; I could see the care in his eyes. I felt a pang of hurt that my parents couldn't even look at me like that, actually they couldn't even look into my eyes. "I may not know how it feels but I feel like karma has already got to you bad. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I don't agree with your action and I definitely don't support people like you, but I believe I need to heal you."

"I know you want to kill me" I chuckled weakly.

"Well I would most definitely do. But seeing as you've learnt your lesson and approached the things that have haunted you, I just believe you need help."

"So what you trying to say?"

"You need special help. Your mentally unstable, you may be a risk, but i feel like you're a risk more to yourself"

Just them words made me upset. I'm mentally ill. That just makes it worse. I'm mentally unstable to do anything. He was right though, I can never cope without her. Maybe she can be my cure.

I didnt ever realised the trauma that i had gone through as a kid has fianly made me mental. I was only 10. I was a kid barely able to shift. They have made me ill, becuase of their vile acts. I know i'm no better, but i wouldnt purposley hurt someone. But I have. I have hurt Mariah. I now know I need to act like a real man and pull myself together for both, my mates and my daughters and mainly for me.

I'm a monster. I need help before it's too late.

"You think i need psychiatric help" he nodded.

................

I walked back into the pack house, my parents were in an urge getting home by 9, that what they told me before my accident and they just said it was important. Knowing my parents bet it's something stupid. They don't tell me much, and our relationship is fraying. Ever since they found out I rejected Mariah, my dad only gives me the cold shoulder and my mother, doesn't give me love she use to. But they are still there for me, which I admire. I don't really blame them; I did something which I regret.

I had totally forgotten about my parents during the accident. And what hurt me was the fact that my parents don't even know about it. Even though I was healed but i still had a bruised up chest, but they should have known, since they were waiting for me back home.

"Adam will you please come here" my mother said sweetly, from the living room, as I entered the house. She had a grin on her face.

I had a feeling something is up. I entered catching pregnant Jesse and brad sitting on the couch.

The one thing that caught my attention was seeing nervous Brad and Jesse who just looks so annoyed. She's a crazy jealous whore. I can't believe she's jealous of her own sister, who is?

"What's going on?" I asked slowly, taking a look at all their faces. I raised my eyebrows at my mother, who was still their standing with a smile on her face.

My mother clapped her hands and looked towards my father who nodded his head. "Well....sweetie Mariah just made an appearance in Miami Florida beach; apparently she's doing some sort of shoot. She looks beautiful"

I knew that already that Mariah has been beautiful all her life. She never showed it. Even when my pack members had seen her across Miami and the world, they were astonished this was still the little old Mariah, that wore the hooded jacket and always seemed to be so modest and quiet.

I think it stunned the elders, just because no one would have thought Mariah's career path would be do with vanity. But when the elders looked at her modelling shoots all they see is respect. They don't like all these models, but they changed their views on them once Mariah had gotten into the model agency. She covered herself and respected her body. Never showing to much skin or doing raunchy shoots. She was simple but yet so breathtaking.

"What! I missed it? And nobody invited me to come along!" I exclaimed. How can I miss it? First of all, why didn't I know this?

"Well we weren't aware you wanted to come. And keep your tone down young man" my father said sternly, looking into my eyes with no emotions. I know he really hates me but at least treat me like a son.

My father has never been on a steady road for the past few years, because of the departure of my brother. It's his fault kind of his fault, if he never pressured him much, then maybe he wouldn't have ran away. And the whole mate thing.

And my failure is on his hands. But I had to forget about my past, just like Dr Sameul had said.

I got snapped out of my thoughts by Brad. "Adam why are you even that bothered? It's not like she's coming back ever again, because of you" Brad sneered, then he realised what he said, taking few steps back, but I slammed the door shut which made the room rumble.

Even though my chest hurt i didn't really care. I just have been told I'm mentally unstable, and i think Brad shouldn't test my patience. I could easily kill him.

He must know I just met my daughter and mate few minutes ago, and this tone isn't really acceptable.

Even though I had met her I already miss them both. Then I heard a threaten growl coming from his throat.

That's it I snapped, throwing him across the room, I heard his bone crack while he winced in pain. That is from Mariah, I thought. I stomped over to him digging my nails into his throat, so I was blocking his wind pipe. I could feel him struggle under my hand, which pleased me.

I can't believe he would insinuate that it was my entire fault. He was her brother; it's his fault as much as mine.

He only wants her back because she's pretty and every guy wants to know her. The dick! He wants to be known as 'Mercedes brother' what a pathetic excuse of a wolf.

"Son let him go" my father said, it shocked me slightly he used the word son. He hasn't even called me that word. My grip loosened, but that didn't stop me from killing him.

"Take that back Brad." I growled. "I love Mariah" I whispered, while my voice laced with emotions.

........................................

I sat on my desk worrying about the growing population of hunters and rogues. Even though they never enter my territory that wouldn't mean they aren't planning on attack. Across the USA there has been allot of attack on our kind. It makes my blood boil. We may be different but where not monsters. We never attack their kind, why attack us? They should just know if you hurt my pack their will be severe consequences. And believe me I am not afraid to act upon them. In my life I have killed more than a handful of kind, rogues and hunters.

I am still an alpha and I need to do anything to protect my pack. Even if that means swiping the whole population in a day. Because believe me i will do so. To be honest as well, I like a challenge.

"So that means we will have to contact the other alphas to let them know" my father replied.

"Yes Tom we should. I believe there is another alpha in this area, named Alpha James" my body struck with angry. Just the name got me angry.

But like the doctor said, take steady breathe and think about something which i love. So far i was thinking about marrying Mariah in Hawaii. It has always been my dream to marry Mariah in Hawaii, while the breeze hit her flawless pearl dress and it swayed in the air, and the sand under our feet making her giggle at every step she made to the altar.

"Alpha James" I scoffed.

"What was that?" my father raised an eyebrow.

"Well we can't possibly trust this guy." I spoke my own view about this alpha James. Even though i heard allot about him, the way he sticks to his promises and hasn't failed anyone yet. But still i didn't care. He was practically with my mate seducing her. That bastard! I clenched onto the table tightly closing my eyes and breathing heavily.

"Well from what I've learned he is allies with majority of the packs in the country. He has money which could help us. If we work as a team we can demolish theses bustards" one of my pack members intervened.

"Well Adam since you're the alpha you make the decision and think about the pack" my father tried to sound cool but I could sense the disappointment. He thinks I misuse my position of being an alpha.

I knew how much his heart broke when Mariah left. That because of my mistake he hasn't spoken to be properly. It's sad but i can't dwell over that.

"Well then father we shall make allies with this alpha" I could see the smiles on my pack members face. My father smiled, and patted my shoulder.