I wake up, and I see nothing but dark hair in my eyes.

The feeling of Alex's long hair splayed across my face causes me to feel itchy but ticklish at the same time. I sit up in the bed, and I caress her arm softly while she sleeps. Her breathing is regular, and she doesn't snore. Not one twitch or spasm, and she hasn't tossed or turned all night. Her breasts rise and fall with each intake of air, and I can tell that she's dreaming.

I can tell that she's blocking out the troubles of the world in her dreams. Alex doesn't look stressed or worried, in fact, she looks so much younger than she already is.

"Alex," I sing song. "Wake up."

"No, just five more minutes." Alex groans into the pillow.

"Get up," I whine, and she smiles before turning on her other side so that she's facing me.

"What?" She mumbles, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

I kiss her cheek multiple times, and she gives me a tired giggle before sitting up against the headboard. I look up at her, and she looks like she's remembering something. Whatever she's remembering makes her look sick to her stomach.

"Everything okay?" I ask, still stroking her smooth skin.

"I'm just thinking about yesterday, that's all. Something that Brendan said really made me want to vomit." She chuckles, but my face stays serious.

I'm not going to put up with his shit anymore.

"What did he say?" I ask, already furious.

"I didn't want him to get in the way of us, so I had to make sure that he didn't cause us anymore trouble." Alex explains, and a smile instantly forms on my face.

"No matter who gets in the way, I know that we'll be alright." I say reassuringly.

"You mean a lot to me, and I've already almost lost you once and I won't let that happen again. Especially by your own brother."

"Baby," I start, but Alex begins to ramble.

"Brendan said he wouldn't get in the way of us, but if something happened then I could always go to him. He called me baby." Alex says, and my blood heats up in anger.

"I guess what happened at the hospital didn't teach him," I say, and I get out of the bed. "I'll be right back."

"What're you going to do?" Alex asks.

"I'm getting sick of Brendan and his shit. I don't care if he is acting this way to hide his pain, I won't tolerate it. Especially if he's trying to make a pass at you!" I exclaim.

Alex lifts her body off of the bed, walking over to me. She takes her hands and places them on my upper back before slowly moving them down, and the warm travels down.

"I know that you're upset, so am I. In fact, you can confront him if you want. I'm just trying to calm you down so that you don't get super angry like yesterday." She says softly, and I clench my jaw.

"I just hate thinking about him trying to get all mushy with you when I'm not around. I'm the one you're supposed to be mushy with." I say, and Alex pouts before giving me a kiss.

"I know," She replies coquettishly, pinching my cheeks. "You're my mushy boy."

"I'm not a boy, I'm a man." I protest, and she smiles.

"You're my mushy man. Is that better?" Alex playfully asks, and I smirk.

"Yes," I say, and she giggles. "Much better."

I lower my mouth to hers, kissing her briefly before giving off a sigh. Grabbing her hand, I manage to give her a smile, despite the fact that I'm livid about what Brendan said to my girl.

"You want some breakfast?" I ask her, and she shakes her head.

"Not yet, I'll just go back to bed." Alex says, and I smile.

I leave the room, walking down the hallway slowly. I walk into my parents room, and one side of the bed is empty and unmade. The other part of the bed still looks perfectly neat, and I feel that familiar heaviness in my bones.

My father is supposed to be there, but he isn't. Instead he's just in the hospital, hanging on by a thread. I walk further inside of the room, and I notice a box on the vanity, and I inch closer towards it. My hands trace the ornate craving and intricate design on the box, and the coolness of it eventually forms goosebumps on my arms. As I'm about to open it, I realize that there's a lock.

"What is this?" I whisper to myself.

Curiously, I try as many combinations I can think of before finally giving up. I return the box back to its spot on the vanity, and I furrow my eyebrows while looking at it.

What the hell is inside of it?

My inquisitiveness makes me eager to find out what it is, and as I'm walking out of the room I see Brendan in the hallway, chatting with our mother.

My temper automatically flares when I see him, and the image of him grabbing Alex flashes in my mind. My blood boils at the thought, and I try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths before approaching them.

"What's wrong with you? You look constipated." Brendan says, and I bite my lip to hold in a few remarks that I shouldn't say around our mother.

"Did you guys know about that box that's on the vanity?" I ask, completely ignoring Brendan.

"No. What box?" Mom asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

They both follow me back into the room, and I hold it in my hands again. Mom raises her eyebrows, touching it hesitantly.

We're acting like its treasure that's been found or something.

Whatever's in there cannot be that big of a deal. Can it be?

"Dude, it's just a box. I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. Besides, why were you even snooping in Mom and Dad's room anyway? Brendan asks, crossing his arms nonchalantly.

"Brendan, that's enough. You know your brother has always been a bit curious about things." Mom says, defending me.

"Maybe you're right, maybe not. I just thought that you guys should know. Mom, can I speak to Brendan in private? I have some things I need to discuss with him." I say, and she leaves without a second thought.

Once the door closes, I shove him as hard as I can, and his back bumps into the wall. Brendan winces, and I walk toward him hold his shirt in my fists, keeping him against the wall. His eyes are frightened, and I notice the tiny hairs on his face standing on end. I grit my teeth, and I let go of him.

Our mother wouldn't approve of this.

Our father definitely wouldn't approve of it, either.

Oh well, Brendan's going to have to learn one way or the other. I'm tired of him.

Brendan smooths his shirt down, and he takes deep breaths and stares me directly in the eyes.

"Brendan, I don't give a single fuck if you're my older brother. You will not continue to flirt with Alex, do you understand me?" I growl, and he tries to act casual.

"I wasn't flirting with that bi—" He starts, but I lunge towards him and slap him across the face.

"Don't you dare. You won't flirt with my girlfriend, and you definitely won't call her a bitch. If anyone's a bitch, it's you." I spit.

"Dude, just chill! I didn't mean it. You should know that I'm joking." Brendan says, and I scoff.

It won't be a joke when you have to explain why your own brother had to beat your ass.

"I don't care if you're joking! I won't tolerate anyone disrespecting Alex like that. That girl means a lot to me, and you won't talk about her like she's trash. She's the complete opposite, and I deserve her." I say, and I groan.

"You know, I'm pretty sure Alex wouldn't think that you're very wise for verbally and physically attacking me. Just because you're upset doesn't mean you can be rude to your brother." Brendan says after a brief silence.

"You really want to talk to me about how to deal with my emotions when you're hiding behind your pain by acting like someone else? Wow, I never thought you'd succumb to such, but you've surprised me." I retort, and he looks down at ground like he's ashamed, which he should be.

"Okay, I get it." Brendan mumbles, but I chuckle.

Can't come up with anything now, huh?

"I don't think you do get it. You think you're stronger this way, but I've never witnessed something or someone so weak. You can deal with pain in different ways, but you chose to deal with it by taking it out on your family members. You make your siblings wonder where the real Brendan went, and you make Mom wonder why her son isn't the way he was before. Especially Dad, he's probably so disappointed in you." I sneer.

Hopefully that'll make you think, you little bastard.

"Okay, you can stop now." Brendan says, but I'm still not finished yet.

Stop? Oh, I'm just starting.

"You know, I looked up to you. Being the oldest, you should set an example to your siblings. But Vanessa and I, combined, turned out to be better people than you could probably ever be. So think about that while you wallow in your self pity." I finish, and I feel a huge weight off of my chest.

Damn. After all of these years, you think that it would feel good to tell him off like that, but it's bittersweet.

It hurt to go off on him.

Why did it hurt? He's been nothing but an asshole to you and your family and your girlfriend. You should be enjoying this!

Brendan's cheeks are red, and he's clenching his jaw to prevent himself from crying, but it doesn't work. His eyes are flooding with tears, and he frustratedly wipes them away. I turn on my heel, walking away from him.

"Where are you going?" He asks, and his voice cracks.

"The hospital. I have to ask Dad a few questions."

"Can I come?" Brendan asks, and I stop in my tracks.

I turn back around to look at him, and his eyes are pleading. His posture is crumpled, and he holds his stomach as if what I just said made him sick to his stomach. I don't bother saying anything to Brendan, all I do is shake my head before I'm out of the door.

~~~

I stand outside of his hospital room, patiently waiting for the doctors to be done assisting him so that I can talk to him without any interruptions. Once they all walk out, I slowly approach the bed.

"Rian," Dad says happily. "Back so soon?"

"Yeah, I had some questions for you." I say, slightly nervous to hear his answers.

I sit in the chair that's next to the bed, and I stay silent before looking into his eyes. He stares back, not saying anything, but he grows more and more worried.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"You know that box that's on your vanity? What's in it?" I ask.

"Nothing, just don't worry about it." He says quickly.

"Well, saying that makes me worry about it. Can you just tell me what's in it? It can't possibly be—"

"Rian, stop! You're making me nervous."

"Why am I making you nervous? What is it that you're not telling us?"

"I'm not saying a—," Dad starts, but stops mid sentence. "Us?"

"I showed the box to Brendan and to Mom, and they don't know what's in it." I admit, and his breaths are shaky.

Why is he panicking?

"Does Vanessa know?" He asks.

"No she doesn't know. I'm surprised at you, Dad. I mean, hiding something from your children is bad enough, but hiding something this important from your wife? Man, that's just another shocker." I say, and he tries to hold back tears.

"Rian, it's for your own good. For the rest of the family, too, and I don't want you all to know what's in there. Not yet, anyway." He says, mumbling the last part under his breath.

"What do you mean for my own good?!" I ask, growing furious.

Today's not my day.

"Rian, just calm down." Dad says, reaching for me, but I gently push his hand away.

"Dad, I love you. We all do! Why can't you tell your own family something? Especially in the condition that you're in, you need to say as much as you can before—" I stop, taking a breather.

"That's exactly why it's for your own good, Rian." He says, giving me a grave look.

There's a silence in the air, and it builds more and more tension between us. I'm trying to pull the pieces together in my mind, but with the other millions of things going on that are stressing me out, I kind of want to just scream. All of this stress is probably giving me the heart of an old man.

"Dad, I'm just so stressed out. Your condition, how Mom and Vanessa are just becoming more and more depressed, and with Brendan being so—," I shout, and I run my fingers through my hair. "Dad, I can't do this."

The tears make their way out of my eyes, and I bite my lip. Dad's trying his hardest to hold his in, but he can't. He beckons me, and I'm in his arms. I wish I could shrink back to my little kid self, and then there would be no troubles. No stress. Nothing.

"I'm so sorry that you're going through so much stress right now, son. I really am, but I don't know if I'll be able to help." He says, weeping.

We hold onto each other like it is the last time we'll ever get the chance to hug, and I know that eventually it will be. Our grip becomes tighter, and I'm finding it hard to let go.

I just wish things weren't so complicated.

"Everything's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay." Dad says reassuringly, but I'm having a hard time believing that.

"Ever since we found out about your cancer, our family has been falling apart. You haven't noticed?" I ask.

"I need you to explain to me what you mean by falling apart." Dad says, and I run my fingers through my hair.

"Well, for starters, lets talk about Brendan. He's acting like he's completely different because of what's happening to you! I know you've noticed that."

"Yes, I have. Alexandrianna told me why he was doing that. He's just using his defense mechanism."

"Defense mechanism or not, he shouldn't take his pain out on us. Especially on Vanessa, because she's already emotionally sensitive as it is, but with Brendan constantly pushing her buttons and saying things like that is wrong and you know it!" I exclaim.

"I know, it's killing me to see that look in their eyes. They look at me like I'm a kicked puppy or something." Dad says, and I frown.

"We're scared! We don't know when it will be time to let you go, and we're just aimlessly holding on. Every single day that you live is considered a miracle at this point. That's how bad your condition is." I state, and my voice trembles.

"Maybe I'll surprise you all and come back more vibrant than before." Dad smirks.

"Deal with reality head on, because I know that you can withstand how strong it is." Dad said.

But he's not dealing with it head on.

He's shying away.

I spend a few more minutes with him, and we say our goodbyes before I walk away. As I'm driving back to the mansion, I'm just thinking about all of the shit that's happened recently, and how my body is crumbling under the stress. I'll take his word and hopefully he does come back stronger than before. Please, just help him make it through.

Please.

~~~

"There you are! Where were you? Alex has been asking for you, and Mom and I have been worried." Vanessa exclaims, and she sighs of relief.

"At the hospital, I needed to see him." I say, and then I smile.

I'm not smiling about the fact that I had to see him, or about how emotional I got while visiting him, but I'm smiling at how she said that Alex was asking for me.

"Where's Alex?" I ask, and she shrugs.

"Not sure where she is right now. Last time I seen her, she was drinking tea with Mom in the living room." Vanessa says, and I nod.

"Okay, thanks."

"Hey, wait a minute. Do you know what's up with Brendan? He's been in a pretty upset all day, not that I care or anything." She asks, trying to sound like she couldn't be bothered by Brendan being upset.

"You do care because you asked, Nessa. If you didn't, you would've kept your mouth shut."

"Well, still, I want to know. I mean, he's always in a bitchy mood, but he's like, ultra bitchy right now. Like, get-the-fuck-away-from-me-because-I'm-in-a-bad-mood- bitch." Vanessa says, and I chuckle before reverting to seriousness.

"Yeah, I don't really want to talk about it. Just go ask him yourself." I say, and she raises her eyebrows before passing me and walking up the staircase.

I search throughout the house, checking every room to find Alex, and she isn't in any of them. I call out her name loudly, multiple times, and she doesn't respond. As I stand in the hallway upstairs, I can faintly hear voices coming from my room. I press my ear against the door, hearing the conversation clearly now.

"I've just been all over the place lately. I don't know." Alex says, and she sighs.

"You can tell me. If you don't want to tell me, you definitely should tell Rian. He's your partner, and you should tell each other everything." Mom says, and I can imagine her smile.

"Emotionally, right now I'm not the most stable. Rian's stress is adding to it because I hate seeing him so upset and hurt." Alex says, and I smile.

She's worried about me.

"Yeah, it hurts to see my baby so distressed. I'm glad you're also concerned about him, because that means you care."

"I love your son, Mrs. Peterson. This isn't me sucking up to you or anything. I truly love Rian, and I don't know if anything will change that." Alex says, and my smile widens.

"That's good, because seeing his past relationships made me wonder when he was going to find a woman who truly loved and cared about him. You're that woman, Alexandrianna. I'm glad that Rian found you, and that you found him. You make him so happy." Mom continues.

"Yeah, I do."

I knock on the door a few times before turning the doorknob and entering. They both smile at me, and I smile back.

"Hi honey," Mom says, standing up to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Dad at the hospital. I didn't realize how long I was gone, because Vanessa told me that you guys were worried." I say grimly, and her smile turns upside down.

"Oh, honey, what happened?" Mom asks, rubbing my arms.

I look over at Alex, and her eyes look droopy as she studies my face.

"I'll tell you soon, I'm just really tired right now." I say, and she nods.

She kisses my cheek again before walking out of the room, leaving Alex and I alone.

"Come here." Alex says, and she stands up.

I wrap my arms around her, hugging her so tight that all of my sadness is squeezed out of my body, being replaced with that fuzzy warmth.

She knows me so well.

"You don't have to tell me tonight if you don't want to, baby." Alex says softly, and she kisses my cheek.

"No, I want to tell you. I'm so sorry." I say, and the warmth is still in my body, but tears stream down my face.

"Me too," Alex says, and she hugs me again. "I'm sorry for all of the things you're going through right now."

It's silent for a while, and Alex grabs both of my hands. She looks up at me, and a tear streams down her cheek as well. I wipe it away from her face with my thumb, carefully caressing her cheek afterwards. Alex lifts her hand and wipes away my tears from underneath my eyes, and I hug her again.

And we're unable to let go for a long time.