I open my eyes, squinting as the brightness of my phone screen blinds me. My body is heavy with fatigue, and my vision finally fixes itself so that I'm able to read what's on the screen.

Xiu: hey, you want to come over later? I invited Savannah too.

Alex: sure, I'm up for it. I really need to talk to you guys about something, too.

After I put my phone down, I turn on my other side, expecting to see Rian next to me, but it's just Bruno.

Ever since the party, Rian and I haven't been doing so great. We've been more distant, and it's killing me because I want to fix it, but I don't really know how to go about it without getting extremely angry.

Rian should've stood up for me, instead of telling me to stay calm. Rian definitely shouldn't have sided with them, either. Just the thought of it makes me fueled with anger.

Kassandra definitely didn't have any right to say that Rian deserves better, and I'm not feeling the slightest regret for fighting her. The little bitch deserved it, and Austin deserved even worse.

I'm sure if Rian had an ex who used him for a sexual experience and then left him, I'm sure he wouldn't deal with it so well either. I guess I'm discovering another side of my boyfriend.

The hypocritical side.

Rian told me to keep my anger in, but when he was near Austin at the party, his temper immediately flared.

I'm realizing that it's the first actual argument that we've had in our relationship, and the thought makes my stomach drop every time. I don't want something like this to split us up, but the way Rian looked at me after taking me away from Kassandra was a look that'll stay ingrained in my head.

His eyes were so stern, and the way he glowered at me makes me believe that he's not sure if I'm the woman he wants to be with. Not only did I embarrass him, but now he thinks that I'm going to accuse him of not supporting me.

We still sleep in the same bed at night, but the warmth isn't there anymore. The idea of our love fading all because of an ex of mine makes me sick to my stomach, and there's no way in hell that I'll let Austin tear my relationship apart.

I drag myself off of the bed, and I take a brief shower and I let the water cover my body as all of the negative thoughts swirl around in my brain. The aroma of food flows through the vent, and I can picture Rian standing in front of the stove shirtless as he makes us both something to eat on the morning. After I get out of the shower, I stare myself directly in the eyes through the mirror before getting dressed.

I walk down the stairs, and my keys jingle in my hand as I walk towards the door. Rian looks over his shoulder and he stops in front of me which causes my heartbeat to accelerate.

"Where are you going?" Rian asks automatically.

"I'm just going out." I reply quietly, staring down at the floor.

"Alex, where are you going?" He repeats.

"To Xiu's house. We're just going to hang out."

"Look, just because we're somewhat angry at each other—" Rian starts, and I scoff.

"Somewhat?" I ask, gritting my teeth. "I'm more than somewhat angry, Rian."

"Just because we're not on good terms doesn't mean that I don't worry about you anymore. It especially doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore." Rian says, and I feel myself on the verge of breaking down.

"I know, I feel the same." I say, and finally manage to look into his eyes.

"So we should talk about this then, and try to fix this." Rian says, and I stubbornly shake my head.

"I don't want to talk right now." I say bitterly.

"Why not? Alex, the only way this is going to get worse is if we don't talk about it. You avoiding the situation isn't going to make it better, and your stubbornness isn't helping." Rian says, and my eyes widen.

"Stubborn?" I repeat, raising my eyebrows.

"Alex, it's been almost a month since the party and we still haven't talked about what happened."

"Oh, you're not being stubborn though, right?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Alex, I'm open to talk to you, but you're not going to let me because you'll think that I'm accusing you or not defending you, which is the complete opposite of what I'm doing." Rian says, and he groans.

"So then what are you doing? Time is going by, and we're just drifting apart. Are you just letting me decide how long I want to wait?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not going to argue with you, Alex. I'm going to let you decide when you want to finally talk, I'm just trying to be respectful and courteous to your feelings."

"Respectful? Courteous? You should've been those things to me at the party, but instead you called me impulsive and you took their side!" I exclaim, and Rian runs his hands through his hair before biting his lip.

"You are impulsive! Fighting Kassandra wasn't very smart, either. Don't get me wrong, what she said pissed me off, but fighting her shouldn't have been the solution." Rian yells, and I feel a chill run through my spine.

"So you're calling me impulsive and dumb? Wow, that just goes to show how much of a boyfriend you are." I say sarcastically.

As I make my way to the door, Rian grabs my wrist and whips me around so that I'm facing him. My eyes widen as he has a vise-like grip on my wrist, and I slightly wince.

"Let me go." I demand weakly, and he looks down and does what I say.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." Rian says, and he looks regretful.

"You sure? That seemed pretty deliberate to me. If your parents were here, I'm sure they wouldn't look to happy for the way you just manhandled me." I say sharply, and Rian doesn't say anything back.

Rian's eyes stay on my face, and his face soon becomes obscured by my tears. Rian reaches for my face to wipe away my tear, but I smack his hand away. Rian's eyes look dismal, and it almost makes me regret doing that, but then again he shouldn't have grabbed my wrist.

I don't care if we're mad at each other, Rian doesn't have the right to grab me like that.

I slowly back away from him, not saying another word and I slam the door behind me and rush towards my car. As I drive to Xiu's house, I angrily wipe away the tears that don't stop coming, and I have to remind myself to keep it together.

Once I'm inside of Xiu's house, I make my way up to her room and I slump onto her bed. It stays silent for a while, and Xiu and Savannah just look at me.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Xiu asks, and I finally look up at her.

"You know how I went to that party with Rian, right?"

"Yeah, what happened?" Savannah asks before popping a chip into her mouth.

"Guess who I saw there?"

"Ooh, did you see anyone famous?" Savannah asks, and her entire face lights up.

"Oh my God, dude did you get someone's autograph there?" Xiu asks.

"No, nobody famous was there." I say, and they both sigh.

"Well then who was it?" Savannah asks.

I don't bother saying anything, I just give them a grave look while waiting for them to catch on. Disgust brings a paleness to Xiu's face, and her jaw drops.

"No. You're not telling me that—"

"Austin was at the party." I say, and their eyes flash with anger.

"Oh, hell no! That cocksucker! Who does he think he is just showing up like that?" Savannah angrily rambles.

"Vannah," I say, trying to get her attention but she continues to rant.

"You should've kicked that bitch in his tiny little balls." Savannah exclaims.

"I agree." Xiu says.

"You should've shoved your foot so far up his ass that he'd be biting your—"

"I know, I know. What's even worse was that his new girlfriend basically called me a slut and said that Rian deserves more than me." I grumble, and Xiu and Savannah scoff in unison.

"You're too nice, Alex. This shit wouldn't be okay with me. I would've punched that bitch so hard right upside her damn face!" Savannah yells.

"I wasn't nice, I beat her ass." I say.

"Good." Xiu says.

"The both of them somehow caused Rian and I some problems." I admit, and Xiu furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"How?" Xiu asks curiously.

"It seemed like he wasn't really supportive of me, and that the way I reacted wasn't right." I admit, trying to hold in more tears.

"Why would he do that? I thought Rian was the gentleman and would always stick up for you." Savannah says, raising her eyebrows in shock.

"Rian told me that it was impulsive and that it wasn't smart to fight Kassandra. He heard everything that she said to me, yet somehow I'm in the wrong." I say, swallowing the bile that produced in my throat.

"Maybe Rian just didn't want you to overreact." Xiu says, shrugging her shoulders.

"Overreact? Austin took my virginity and then left me, and even worse, at the party he acted like nothing happened and that we were on good terms."

"I'm sorry, I worded that incorrectly. What I meant was that he just didn't want it to come back and haunt you again. Rian just wanted to let you know that he doesn't matter. Why should you get angry over someone who's trivial to you?" Xiu says.

"Especially with how good Rian is to you. Austin is so fucking irrelevant now, like as long as you and Rian are happy, nothing they do should matter." Savannah says in response to Xiu.

I run my hands through my hair, processing the information in my mind.

"I met his sister, and it slipped that he's had other girlfriends before." I add, and Savannah shrugs.

"So? You're with Rian now, why should his ex girlfriends matter?" Savannah asks.

"I told him about Austin, so he should at least open up to me about his past, too. Or am I just being a little demanding?" I ask.

"I hate to say it, but that's a little demanding to be honest." Xiu says.

"Listen, Rian really loves you. You really love him. Nothing else should matter because you guys have each other, and nobody should cause this in your relationship." Savannah adds, and I sigh.

"You guys probably think that I'm an idiot, huh?" I ask, looking into their eyes.

"Kind of." They say in unison.

This causes a smile to form on my face temporarily, but then I revert to seriousness.

"I just want Rian and I to go back to our relationship. I miss how close we were before this all happened. Now it just feels like we're drifting further and further apart."

"Talk to each other. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. It won't be fixed if you guys keep being petty and avoiding each other." Xiu says.

"Rian told me that he's letting me decide when I want to talk." I say.

"Do you want to talk?" Savannah asks.

"So much." I say.

"Then do it. Just do it!" Savannah exclaims.

"You guys might argue, but that's apart of relationships. It's kind of unavoidable." Xiu says.

"I know." I reply, already feeling my stomach drop.

I know that if this doesn't get resolved, I might end up ultimately losing Rian.

Xiu and Savannah are right. I shouldn't let this create a gap in between us.

I need to tighten my grip on him, and never let him go.

~~~

Alex has been gone for a few hours, and I'm growing more and more worried about her. Especially after I made the dumb move of grabbing her.

I would never intentionally hurt Alex. There's a million things that I'd rather do than do that.

I just didn't want her to leave so that I could try to get her to open up to me, but that obviously didn't work. The look in her eyes made everything inside of me collapse, and I still feel the lump in throat that formed as her eyes filled with tears.

I feel Bruno snuggle up next to me, and I smile as he licks the side of my face.

"Thanks buddy." I say to Bruno, and he relaxes his head on my shoulder.

I take my phone from my pocket and I begin to dial Alex's number to check on her, but then the door swings open and she's standing there.

"Hey. I was just about to call you and see if you were okay." I say to her, and she gives me a weak smile.

"I want to talk, Rian." Alex says, and I feel relieved when she says that.

"I do, too."

I rise to my feet, and I hesitantly reach out for her hand. Alex's hand wavers before she grabs mine. It sends the familiar enjoyable warmth throughout my veins and the rest of my body. We walk upstairs to the bedroom, and once we're in the bedroom she lets go of my hand which instantly makes me feel cold.

"I hate that we've been so distant for the past few weeks. I want to go back to the way we were." Alex admits, and the look in her eyes makes me weak in the knees.

"Me too, Alex. Please just say what you want, and we'll talk." I say, and she huffs.

"I got advice from Xiu and Savannah. I'm realizing that you don't want me to worry about Austin and Kassandra, and that they're not important to our relationship. I think I was just so angry that I wouldn't listen to what anyone else had to say. You were trying to tell me that they're irrelevant to us, and that I shouldn't get angry over someone that isn't relevant. I should've realized that and we wouldn't be in this position." Alex says, and I feel a weight lifted off of my chest.

"Yeah, I just wanted you to see that us being together is all that matters. They don't."

"I know that now. I just should've listened to you, but of course I'm too stubborn and didn't listen." Alex says, and I grab her shoulders carefully.

"Hey, it's okay. We all have our moments where we mess up and do what we think is right because we tend to block out everyone else's opinions. It's okay, and I forgive you. Is there anything else that you want to say to me?" I ask.

"After I left and went to the pier, I ran into your sister. We talked about you, and it somehow slipped out that you've had other girlfriends before me." Alex says quietly.

"Is that what you're upset about? Alexandrianna, I'm in love with you. Only you. You don't have to worry about that ever changing." I say, and Alex removes my hands from her shoulders.

"Rian, you could've just told me." Alex says harshly.

"Alex, I—, I couldn't! I didn't want to mess us up." I say defensively.

"Being honest about your past relationships won't mess us up, Rian. You should be smart enough to know that." Alex retaliates.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think of the thought that I ever loved anyone else! Can't you see, Alex? I've only felt this type of love for you, and only you. I've never felt this way in my past relationships."

It stays silent for a moment, and Alex crosses her arms before looking up at me.

"Have you slept with any of your exes?" Alex's asks, and my already quickened heartbeat increases speed.

"Is this relevant?" I ask, and she scoffs.

"Yeah, it kind of is." Alex says instantly, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Alex, please just—"

"Tell me!" She shouts, and I feel something trail down my spine.

"Yes, I did." I finally admit, and our breaths hitch.

"How many of them did you sleep with?" She asks, and I can practically feel my heart being ripped from my chest as her stare becomes more and more disapproving.

"Two of them. But the spark wasn't there like it is with you. Just like how you were hesitant to tell me about your past with Austin, I didn't want to tell you about my past relationships." I say, on the verge of shouting.

I regret what I said because I see red in Alex's eyes, and she grits her teeth.

"I was hesitant to tell you about Austin because he left me and we were just starting and—, I never imagined that we would've made it as far as we did. So telling you something like that was difficult because I didn't want you to take that information and do what Austin did to me!"

"Either way, we're supposed to be honest and trust each other!" I say, and she runs her hands through her hair before groaning.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. What, have you been lying to me throughout our whole relationship? Do you love me as much as I love you?"

"Alex, I keep telling you that I do! My God, I love you so much! We've been together for a while now, so why is this so hard for you to believe?" I ask, becoming angry.

"It's hard for me to believe because I've been screwed over so many other times before! Not only by Austin, by my mom as well. Nobody has ever loved me as genuinely as you do. Are you happy now?" She asks, and I see tears pool up in her eyes.

I step closer to her, and I carefully place my hands on her waist. Her eyes stay on my eyes, and hers are pleading, and she rapidly blinks her tears away. I can't look away because her gaze is claiming me, and her hands finally touch me.

I kiss her passionately, and she moans into my mouth. Our kisses are desperate, like it's the last time that we'd ever kiss each other. Quick, rapid breaths come from the both of us, and I pick her up effortlessly, and her legs wrap around my waist while her fingers roam through my hair. I pin her against the wall, hard, and she softly gasps as her back makes impact with the wall.

Alex tenderly kisses my neck while I carry her into the bathroom, and I place her down gently. I practically rip her shirt off, and she gasps in surprise before I see a certain naughtiness flash in her dark brown eyes.

The buttons of my plaid shirt go flying across the room as she tears it off of me, and I grab her by the chin and press my mouth to hers. I turn her around, and her hair whips me in the face, and I get a whiff of the aroma of flowers.

One of my hands grope her butt, and I gather her hair in the other fist and unceremoniously pull it back.

"Do you forgive me?" I ask into her ear.

"Yes, I've wanted to forgive you for so long." Alex says breathily, and I smile.

"I think it's safe to say that we're about to make up to each other."

We eagerly take the rest of each other's clothes off, and she jumps into my arms again once we're both completely nude. I open the glass shower door, and I close ourselves in it while Alex fumbles with the knob. The warm water covers our bodies, and we kiss amorously underneath it.

We both kiss each other's necks, and I can feel Alex turn into putty in my hands. She unwraps her legs from around my waist, but I slam her against the wall of the shower, and she wraps her legs around me again.

My fingers tangle in her wet hair, and she does the same to me as our lips stay glued together. Steam billows from the shower, and I press a hand against the glass before fondling her breast. I kneel down, and I begin to move my tongue in a circular motion and I do the same with my fingers.

Her head tilts back, and she's trying to hold back her moans by biting her lip. I smile up at her while I continue licking, and her moans are audible now.