Another sleepless night. Don't get me wrong it's not like I didn't sleep at all. I feel asleep for about 3 hours... Total.

But Every time I closed my eyes I saw those eyes. Those eyes of 17 beautiful kids that I killed.

That. I. Killed.

I got up from my bed, and headed for the bathroom. I stopped at the mirror and just stared at my reflection.

My hair was a mess, makeup smeared, scratches everywhere although some of them had healed. I turned around a little and lifted my shirt.

The blood from my wounds seeped threw the gauges but I'm pretty sure they stopped. So, with little irritation and a lot of patience I started to peel them off.

One by one.

After peeling off all 8 of the gauges I finally got a full view of my wounds.

I had about 4 scratches angling left, and 4 angling right. So it looked like a big, bloody hash tag on my back.

I touched it but winced since the scratches were still fairly new.

But they were healing quicker than most of my wounds.

"Rosie?"

"When I saw my mom before I changed, she told me I was different. You know? Special. Can you tell me what she meant?"

I didn't even know how to reply to that. I have these .... qualities, that no one knows for sure that I have. And have to figure out what they are. Great.

"Well, how do I do that?"

Really? If I knew how to figure it out, I wouldn't need her help. I love Rosie but sometimes she gets on my nerves.

"Thanks Rosie. You are so much help."

"Goodbye Rosie."

I cut off the connection but smiled. Today, is going to be a good day. I won't let Braxton, my brothers, or even unknown ruin today for me.

I'm going to eat breakfast with everyone, smile, be happy, and maybe stop by the library to do a little research.

So I turned on the radio, stripped my clothes and got into the shower.

Do I wanna know by Arctic Monkeys came one. This is one of my favorite songs so I turned the radio up louder and started singing along with it.

"Have you got color in your cheeks'

Do you ever get the feeling that you can't shift the tide

That sticks around like something's in your teeth

And some aces up your sleeve

Have you no idea that you're in deep

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep'

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow

When I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawlin' back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

So have you got the guts?

Been wondering if your heart's still open and

If so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I'm sorry to interrupt it's just I'm constantly

On the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don't know if you feel the same as I do

But we could be together, if you wanted to

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (calling when you've had a few)

'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you, (do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can't say tomorrow day

Too busy being yours to fall

(Sad to see you go)

Ever thought of calling darling?

(Do I wanna know)

Do you want me crawling back to you?"

I washed my hair out as I sang my heart out to this song. More songs came on and I just sang.

I finally got out and got dressed. It's starting to get cold since it's the beginning of December so I threw on my black pants, a long sleeve maroon baseball tee making sure the shirts loose enough not to mess with my back wounds and my mothers necklace.

I threw on my maroon vans, put on some mascara, some foundation to cover my bruises, cuts and dark bags. And finally some maroon lipstick.

I looked in the mirror and I was finally ready.

"Today will be a good day." I smile in the mirror and headed downstairs.

I heard my family in the dinning room and stopped. I don't know why but I was nervous. I didn't want to act all happy just for them to question me on why I was happy.

But I didn't want to be all quiet either because the few days I do have left with them, I want to make them count.

I'll just be in between. Not too happy, and not too quiet either. Taking a deep breath I walked in just for everyone to stop talking.

I cleared my throat and headed for my seat. "Good morning guys."

Everyone looked shocked that I spoke to them but recovered a few seconds later. When I looked across the table I didn't see Braxton, but I saw Jeremiah.

I guess I didn't have to voice my question to know what I was thinking since James answered me.

"Braxton has a meeting this morning, he won't be joining us for breakfast today."

My eyes switched to James and I looked back at Braxton's empty chair.

"Oh."

It was all I said. I was kinda bummed that he wasn't here. But, happy day. So I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked as I ate my pancakes

"Uhh well, the girls and I are going to go dress shopping. We were going to go yesterday but we wanted to wait for you..."

I stopped eating and closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about yesterday, about those kids. As mean as it sounds, I just wanted to forget about them... All of them.

I opened my eyes and looked towards Ariana and smiled.

"I'd love to go." Ariana looked worried but nodded her head anyways. My eyes found Nate's eyes and I smiled at him.

He smiled back and I could just hope I could forgive him for what he said. I looked around the table and smiled at my other brothers who smiled back.

"Hey dad?" I said as I looked at him.

He looked up at me and waited for my question.

"Is there a library in the pack house?"

"Yes, it's on the south side of the house, why?"

I didn't want to tell him that I was researching myself because then he'd ask why I would be doing that. And I'm not really trying to slip up.

"I just want to go see if there are any good books to read. That's all." I shrugged my shoulders and he just nodded his head at me.

"Very well. Just be careful. The shelves in there aren't steady so it could fall over. If you need help reaching the higher books you are to mind link someone, understood?"

"Hey! I can reach perfectly fine!" I laughed and so did everyone else.

"No offense Eve, but you're the shortest one here. There's no way you could get those books." Alex said.

"I am so not short!" I threw a strawberry at him that he just caught in his mouth. Idiot.

"Dude you're like 5'1. That's basically midget sized." Danny said as he and everyone laughed.

"I'm taller then... Uhh... Athena?" It sounded more like a question. I sized her up from her chair and I think I'm a little off. Oops.

"Haha I'm 5'7 Eva. Destiny is 5'6. And Ariana is 5'10. Danny and Alex are 6'2. Nate and your father are 6'4. James is about 6'3. Jeremiah is about 6'2. And Braxton is about 6'5. Face it, you're the runt of this family. Hahah."

Alex spit out his drink, Danny and Nate were having a laugh attack, and everyone else was just laughing.

I had to admit, that was pretty funny so I joined in. Hey? If you can't beat them, join them!

"Hahaha alright. I guess my dads right. But who shall I pick? I might just bug you all to come help." I smirked at all of them and they rolled their eyes.

"Forget it. I'm not doing it. I have alpha business to take care of." Nate said as he leaned back in his chair put his arm around Ariana who smiled happily at him.

"Cry baby."

"Midget"

"Giant"

"Smurf!!!"

"I know you are but what am I!?"

"Enough. You both are acting childish. Ariana you still need to explain everything on paper as to why you were a rogue. After that we will hold your coronation for the ceremony."

Ariana nodded her head and Nate kissed her temple.

"Alright. I'm going to go take care of this. After we can all go to the mall."

We all nodded our heads and everyone left to go do their own thing.

"Hey Eva, you wanna come swimming with us?"

I looked at Danny, Alex, Athena and Destiny. They could see my back and I'm not ready to tell them. And plus I want to go to the library first.

"Uh... You guys go ahead. I'm going to hit the library."

"Oh come on nerd, you can always go another time! This will be fun!"

I growled at Alex and he hid behind Athena.

"Protect me from the evil beast!" He said it in such a girly voice we all had to laugh at that.

"See you guys in a little, have fun!"

They all nodded their heads at me and waved. Finally. I went through the hallways on the bottom level of the pack house and I swear it was like a maze.

Geez, who built this place?

After about 15 minutes I finally found the library. I pushed open the oak doors and it was beautiful.

You know those really old libraries where theres book everywhere, and a fireplace inside of the room. That's exactly how this one looked.

No one was in here so it made it that much easier not to be so discreet about what I was looking for.

They had everything in here and it was mostly werewolf stuff.

Their were books about past Alphas and Luna's, wolfs bane, strategic fighting techniques, a trackers hand book, the wolf laws and so on and so forth.

So I knew if they had all that stuff their had to be a book about... Well, me.

It's been about 30 minutes and I still couldn't find anything. I had been through all most of the categories and I couldn't find anything. I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes.

"I just want to know what I am."

I sighed and opened my eyes but when I did I saw this book that had a half moon on it. It looked exactly like the mark I have on my head.

I crawled over to it and snatched the book from the shelf.

"Mesmoratic Creature." Is what what the title read.

"Rosie! I think I found it!"

"Mesmoratic creatures are one of the rarest kind of wolves there is. Despite being a turquoise and white wolf, these wolves have abilities other wolves don't. There have only been about 5 documented people who have been known to be a Mesmoratic wolf.

Legend has it that these wolves have all but 5 special qualities that other special wolves don't.

1) they have the ability to strengthen all of their senses. Instead of being able to hear 1 mile away like normal wolves they are able to hear 10. Instead of smelling something strong that smell tends to intensify. Their speed, agility, strength and technique improve.

2) The ability to heal not only themselves but someone else's wound. Most wolves lick the injured wounds of those they protect, the saliva of a normal wolf helps the process of healing speed up. For the Mesmoratic wolf its different. They can preform a healing ritual over the wound of another and they would be healed. A turquoise light is to appear out of the hands and into the wound. But not so much that it could kill, not the injured but the Mesmoratic wolf.

3) The ability to teleport. There is not certain limit as to where one can travel but they can. They must think of the place, say the spell, and they should appear to their right destination.

4) Master of all elements. They have the ability to control all of the earths elements which include; water, earth, fire, and air. By using this they could create a earthquake, a shift in the continents, the weather, and a hurricane. It is unsure on how to get control over this power. So it is up to the wolf to figure out how it is done.

5) Last but not least. The ability to read minds. Most wolves can hear your mind if you are in their pack, and the wolf left their wall down. But this wolf can read minds of those who aren't in her pack. Again, it is unsure on how to get a hold of this power as well. It is up to said wolf to figure it out.

All these abilities for one wolf can be draining which is why it is very dangerous for this wolf to preform all of these. It takes a lot of energy to master such power. Over time it' will get easier but for a beginner it is very difficult.

Not only can it cause harm to the Mesmoratic wolf, but it can be very dangerous for any wolves around.

For example if someone were to anger this wolf, said wolf can become very outraged and lose it's temper. Not even he/she can stop her inner wolf from killing the wolf that agitated it. Meaning, the Mesmoratic wolf would be killed for her/his Crime.

All of these powers are very dangerous which is why not many of them exist. If someone were to get a hold of the wolf and use them for their own benefit, the balance of the world will be affected.

Mates will start rejecting other mates. families will start to fall apart, people will start to question their Alpha and leave to become rogues. So many of these things can happen. Which is why most of the Mesmoratic wolves are killed.

They start to lose themselves in the power that they don't realize that they are hurting the people around them. They'll become ruthless and can go on a killing spree without a second thought. In short terms they become the one thing no one ever wants to become...

A monster.

All five of the Mesmoratic have never lived a day passed 25. They were all executed by the council, for it is against wolf laws to kill one of your own.

Mesmoratic wolves may be rare, but they are very dangerous."

I shut the book and threw at the other side of the room. I can't believe this.

"I thought.... I thought I could help! I thought I could use these to get better! But no! I'm a monster!"

"I'm a monster Rosie. A monster."

"Hey Eva, we're about to leave you still coming with?"' I heard Ariana say through the mind link.