Today's the day I get to choose what I want to do.

"Did you find it?" I shout.

I forgot my lip gloss upstairs and Tyson said he'll get it for me. "Tyson...?" I call out when there's no answer.

I walk up the stairs, "You know if you can't find it then we can just-" I walk I to the room and I instantly go silent when I see Tyson on my bed, holding my brown book, tears flowing down his cheeks as he reads the words that are written in my handwriting.

Everything goes completely silent.

Deafeningly silent.

"Is it true?" he asks, looking up at me. I don't answer and he stands up, "I said, is it true?" he asks, louder.

"Y-yes." I whisper.

"What? I can't hear you!" he screams at me and I flinch. I repeat my answer, louder.

He hands me the brown book. The book that I've been hiding things that nobody was supposed to know.

"Read it to me. I want to hear you say it." he whispers, his voice shaking as the tears don't stop falling.

I look down at the page, my throat suddenly becoming dry. "Please Tyson, don't-" Tyson cuts me off, "Read it to me." he commands and I go silent.

"I thought I was okay." I start reading the letters, each word feels like a stab in the chest, "They said I was okay. The doctors... But I wasn't okay." I go silent for a while, trying to control my shaking hands.

"Everyone thinks I am okay but I found out a month ago that I'm not okay. Not even close to okay. When I found Tyson, I fell for him, I really did and I don't know what I am going to do without him. The doctors told me that I have six weeks left to live, if I'm lucky. I have pancreatic cancer and it's too late to save me. I can't tell Tyson because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don't want to see him get hurt. I don't want to tell him," I go silent again, for what feels like an eternity, "... That I'm dying." I whisper the last part. A single tear slips down my cheek as I stare at the blank ink, not wanting to look at Tyson.

"You have cancer and you still said yes to being my girlfriend?" Tyson walks towards me and I walk backwards until my back hits my bedroom wall, "You let me fall in love with you and you made me love everything about you like the way you cried while watching Tinkerbell or the way your lips taste or..." he goes silent, his eyes filled with hurt and tears.

"You're such a selfish bitch!" he screams at me. "You let me love you! You're dying! You wrote that a month ago. You have two weeks to live Melody! I can't believe you never told me!" he screams at me and my breath starts hitching as I stare at the ground in shame.

"I hate you! You're a liar!" he slams his fist against the wall behind me and I flinch, his face moves centimeters away from mine, "Don't ever look at me or talk to me again!" he screams and walks out the room.

I slide down the wall, hiding my face in my knees. I was stupid and selfish but I was scared. Terrified.

This is what I never wanted to happen. I shouldn't have written it down, I just needed to tell someone but I couldn't.

My mom and brother were the only two that knew but I couldn't talk to them. I couldn't talk to anyone.

When I went for a checkup they found out that I had pancreatic cancer but it had already started to metastasize and there was nothing they could do so they gave me six weeks to live and I panicked and I wasn't thinking but I couldn't talk about it and I pushed it out, trying not to think about it. The doctors said it was a silent killer and by the time they found it I was as good as dead.

I should have told Tyson.

*-*-*