chapter twenty-three – butternut cookies and brain bleeds

"Can you see us having a future?" Marc's voice was quiet. Like he wasn't supposed to ask that question.

"What?" I turned over on the grass to face him.

Today he decided he wanted to take me to the park. We fed the ducks, got chased by the ducks, hid in the tube slide and finally ended up laying in the grass.

"Like seriously? Can you see us getting married? Having kids? Growing old together?" Marc's blue eyes met my brown ones. "Is that in the cards?"

Was that in the cards for us? Did I want it to be?

Mrs. Thea Preston.

"Yes"

Marc's blue eyes were shooting daggers at Kevin and I. I knew I shouldn't have tried this. He hated me. He doesn't want anything to do with me anymore...

"Mom's gonna stop by later today" Summer continued monologuing as nobody spoke. "She's probably going to bring you some cookies. She would not stop talking about cookies last night"

"That's nice" Marc mumbled.

"I think she was actually baking them this morning because my room smelled like those nasty butternut cookies she keeps trying to make a thing" Summer continued. "You know-"

Summer's phone started ringing and she frowned down at the phone.

"It's my manager. Is it okay if I go-"

"Go ahead, Sum" Marc gave Summer a lopsided grin and my heart fluttered. I haven't seen him smile since the night of the accident. You know... before everything happened.

Summer said she would be right back and made her way out of the ICU room. Leaving Kevin, Marc and I alone.

Marc leaned back and closed his eyes. Ignoring us.

"Talk to him" Kev whispered in my ear.

"He doesn't want to talk to me" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Tee-"

"I'm guessing you guys are officially Eastview's new 'It' couple?" Marc's voice was cold and emotionless. But the way his heart monitor was unsteady told me that he wasn't as emotionless as he was trying to seem.

"Nah, man. It's not like that" Kevin spoke when I stayed silent.

"Then what's it like, man?" Marc's eyes snapped open.

"Listen. I know you have problems and I'm sorry that none of us could help-"

"Problems?!" Marc spat. "What is this? An intervention from my cheating girlfriend and the scumbag that is my brother? What? Is that it? What are you gonna tell me that I need to control my anger? That I need to stop speeding? Well the fact that I can't walk anymore kind of told me that already?"

"Marc please" I was letting my tears fall now. "Please just listen to me."

"Why? So you can lie to my face some more? Tell me that you want a future with me when in reality you're just trying to get with my brother?" Marc hissed.

"I was trying to fix you guys. You needed your brother. I told him to meet me in my room and then I was going to make you guys talk. That's why Charlie brought you up there. I didn't want to be the reason you guys hated each other. I wasn't worth that." I cried out.

"Marc. You need to chill" Kevin spoke at the same time I noticed that a lot of machines were starting to beep erratically.

"You're right, Thea. You're not worth it" Marc spat. "You weren't worth the years of hurt I went through just trying to get your attention while you loved my brothers and hated me. You weren't worth it when I rejected girls that were probably better than you left and right. You weren't worth spending hours trapped in my worst nightmare. You're just not worth the fucking trouble"

I was sobbing now. Full on, ugly crying.

"Please. Marc" I sobbed.

"We're done, Thea" Marc's words broke my heart but my attention was now focused on the blood dripping from his nose.

"Are you okay?" I took a step forward and touched his hand. He ripped it away and tried to say something but all that came out was a slurred version of 'don't touch me.'

It happened so fast.

He pulled away from me.

And then he was convulsing with vomit leaking down the side of his mouth.

"Help!" I screamed as Kevin pressed the call button. "Please help!"

"Oh my god, Marc" Summer tried to get to him but a bunch of doctors and nurses pushed past her.

"Back up" A nurse demanded and we complied.

"Get him on his side" A doctor rushed to turn him. "He's choking on the vomit"

Kevin wrapped his arms around Summer as she cried.

I covered my mouth to muffle my sobs as the doctors started rushing to stop the seizure.

"He has a cerebral hemorrhage" The doctor sounded panicked. "We need to get him to a CT to confirm and into emergency surgery"

"Another surgery?" Summer whimpered as they started to wheel Marc out of the room.

"I'm sorry miss. We need to hurry" The doctor turned his attention to his colleagues. "I want to know who the hell missed this"

This was all my fault.

"Thea! Baby! It's been so long!"

"I'm supposed to drive you home to work on the project"

"Don't get me wrong. You're fine as fuck but I'm not looking for anything serious"

"Oh yeah! That's my girl!"

"Come on, Thea. You've been my girl since pre-k"

"And whenever I missed you, I would call him and ask him how you were"

"Thea started a fire!"

"Wanna know why I care?"

"I'm sorry. J-Just stay for a while"

"Do you still remember how to dance?"

"You think I don't want you now? This isn't a god damn game, Thea"

"I know this is the part where I'm supposed to ask you to be my girlfriend but I'm scared of ghosts"

"If you even loved her an ounce like I do, you wouldn't let some whore do the shit Mikayla has done to her."

"Thea and I are also engaged"

"Everyone chooses them over me. So I shouldn't be surprised but I thought you were different, Tee"

"This is all your fault"

"You weren't worth it"

The past few months flashed before my eyes as I slid down to the floor.

"What happened? Where's Marc?" Mrs. Preston sounded alarmed.

"Emergency surgery" Summer mumbled.

"What did the doctor say?" Dr. Preston asked.

"A cerebral hemorrhage? What is that?" Kevin asked.

"It's a- a brain bleed" Dr. Preston ran a hand down his face. "A stroke"

I watched as Mrs. Preston's eyes started darting around the room and then they landed on me.

"What's she doing here?" Mrs. Preston asked.

"He needed to see her, Mom" Kevin sighed.

"No-No he needed rest" Mrs. Preston raised her voice. "My baby needed to relax he didn't need to deal with all this right now!"

I've never heard Mrs. Preston raise her voice. But by the way she spoke... she blamed me for this...

"Taylor, calm down" Dr. Preston whispered.

"Just drive her home, Adam" Mrs. Preston waved him off.

****

"Don't let this ruin you, Thea" Dr. Preston spoke.

"What?" I looked away from the window and towards him.

"I let the accident destroy me. I blamed myself. And because of that, I destroyed my family" Dr. Preston's voice was quiet. "It's my biggest regret."

I just watched the way his jaw ticked. Marc's did the same thing when he was scared...

"Marc's seriously hurt. He could... He could die. And that'll wreck you. But you'll need to move on. Or you'll never be happy." Dr. Preston gripped the steering wheel tight. "Marc might be angry at you right now. But he wouldn't want you to feel like this forever"

Maybe I should have listened to everything Dr. Preston was saying.

But all I could hear was-

He could die.