chapter five - crossfaded and insecure moments

"Why are you so mean to me?" I crossed my arms in front of 4 year old Marc.

"I don't know" Marc shrugged. "You're ugly"

"I am not ugly!" I frowned. "My mommy says I'm beaut- beauty- beautiful" I struggled to pronounce the word 'beautiful.'

"Mommy's have to say you're b-b-beautiful. Like my Mom says my sisters are pretty even in the morning" Marc grinned. "Like your hair is always messy and you're missing your front tooth. And your eyes are big"

"Shut up, Marc" Kevin threw his sand shovel at him. "Thea's pretty"

I stared at myself in Laurel's mirror while her and Millie got ready for Wendy Underland's party. My hair was a curly mess like usual and my make up was fine. Just fine. It looks like the way I wear it to school every day and my outfit was just so obviously me.

I'm not an insecure person. Don't get me wrong. I love myself. But right now... right now I'm just having a weird moment. Everyone has them. You can be the most perfect person on earth and still get a bit insecure with yourself.

"Can I flat-iron your hair?" Laurel asked me from where she had just finished Millie's hair. A question that she knows the answer to. But today I shall mix it up.

"Sure" I shrug, staring at her through the mirror.

"Did... Did Thea Caruso just agree to have her hair straightened?" Laurel gasped sarcastically.

"Shut up before I change my mind" I roll my eyes and Laurel pushes Millie out of the way to make room for me.

"Can I do your make up, darling?" Millie asked once I was settled in the chair.

"Sure" I nodded absentmindedly staring into another one of Laurel's mirrors.

Laurel got a suspicious look on her face and pursed her lips.

"Can I pick an outfit out for you too?"

"Mhm" I hummed.

Laurel spun me around in the chair and squinted at me. "Who hurt you?"

"What?" I laughed at my best friend's assumption.

"You are the most confident, gorgeous, stunning, amazing, fantastic-"

"Get to the point Laur" Charlie rolled his eyes from where he lied on her bed.

"You don't let anyone change you. So why are you letting us do it today?" Laurel frowned.

"I'm just in one of those moods. I want a change. You know how it is" I shrugged, playing with my wild hair.

"Fine. But you're perfect the way you are and the only reason we're doing this is because you convinced us" Laurel sighed dramatically.

"She asked you once" Charlie spoke up once again.

"Can it, hockey boy" Laurel clapped her hands making Charlie furrow his eyebrows at her new nickname for him. Or was it an insult?

"Hockey boy" Charlie shook his head. "It's hockey MAN. Thank you very much. I'm going to get another capri sun"

"Yeah, real manly" Millie giggled.

Charlie didn't come back for an hour and he didn't even have his capri sun with him.

"Where were you?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I played a round of Fortnite with Laur's brother. Damn Tee, you clean up nice" Charlie nodded. "I don't think ill be able to resist such a –"

"Try it and ill shove my foot up your ass" I smirked.

My usual messy brown hair was now neatly in place around my face. My usual glossy lips were a matte red and Millie had gone all out on my eye make up. I usually left my eyes alone but she had went for a dark look and honestly. I liked it. But only for a once in a while thing. Im not trying to go through this every morning before school.

My outfit was pretty nice too. A semi-skimpy top that showed the right amount of cleavage, some ripped skinny jeans and boots. Of course Laurel had tried to get my to wear a skirt and heels but nope. I am definitely not stepping that far out of my comfort zone.

"Does someone have a crush on our friend, Thea?" Laurel waggled her eyebrows at Charlie and you could see him start to panic.

If you didn't know any better, you would think his panic was because of what Laur had said. But Millie and I both knew that his panic was more because of who said it.

"I don't have a crush on Tee" Charlie sputtered out.

"Then who do you have a crush on, Charles?" Millie smirked.

"I-I I hate you guys" Charlie groaned out and left the room.

"Come on, lets go before he tries to ditch us" Millie laughed before leaving the room after him.

"Girl" Laurel slaps my arm. "Charlie totally has a crush on you"

"You. Are. So. Oblivious" I burst out laughing.

"What?" Laurel called after me as I left her in her room.

The ride to Wendy's house was filled with joking, laughter, subtle flirting from Charlie to an oblivious Laurel and all that jazz.

"I guess I'll be the designated driver tonight" Millie patted her legs.

"Why? Tee's usually our designated driver" Charlie snorted.

"Well, I just assumed since she's all dolled up, she wouldn't be going home tonight" Millie shrugged her shoulders while the other two howled like idiots.

"And where would I be going, Millie?" I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Maybe, Marc's house" and that caused the two idiots to start howling louder.

"Okay- ew. You're all gross. See you later" I got out of the car while my friends shouted that they loved me.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too"

One thing that never ceased to amaze me was how accurate movies depicted teenage parties. From the loud music you can hear from outside, to the red solo cups littering the floor. Even down to random pile of vomit in the corner of the living room.

Ah how proud we must make our parents.

I could feel the music vibrate through my body as I made my way to the kitchen to get a drink. I definitely am not going home with Marc Preston tonight but Millie offered to be the designated driver so cheers.

"Oh its just you" Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you look like that?" Marc's lips curled downwards.

"Why do you care?" I pulled some tequila out of the sink filled with ice.

"Because I almost tried flirting with you because you aren't putting off 'Thea' vibes" Marc watched me as I made myself a drink.

"Ew" I crinkled my nose.

"What? You don't like the smell of tequila?" Marc asked and I snorted.

"I don't like the smell of you" I grinned. "Please never speak about trying to flirt with me"

"I would never flirt with you. I just thought you were a hot girl" Marc rolled his green eyes.

"Um. Marc. I don't know if you know this, but you don't have a chance with any hot girls" I sipped my drink.

"I'm a Preston. A Preston Playboy, to be exact. So I think I do" Marc made fun of the little nickname for him and his brothers and I laughed. At least he didn't take pride in it the way his brothers do.

"But seriously, you like nice" Marc's voice was rid of all joking manners.

"Shut up" I snorted and started making my way back to the living room to find my friends.

"Wanna dance?" Marc asked as we approached the large group of bodies grinding to some pop song.

"Ew" I smirked at his frowning face.

After that I slipped through the crowd to get to Laurel who was happily talking to a guy name Mike with a less happy looking Charlie standing next to them.

"Hey, hey" I finally made it to them.

"Hey Thea. I've never seen you without your massive curls" Mike slurred and I laughed. I didn't know him well but he seemed like a good guy. He was a football player but he didn't have a 'sexual' reputation that followed him. He's actually really into the religious scene.

"Hey Mike" I greeted him.

"Oh- Kevin was looking for you" Mike patted my shoulder.

"Why?" I wondered.

"I dunno. He just told a few of us to let him know if we saw you" Mike nodded and I shrugged.

"Okay?"

Why was Kevin looking for me? And why was he telling his friends to look for me. That's just weird. But ugh... More unwanted attention because of the Preston's.

"I saw Marc talking to you. What did he want?" Charlie asked, probably trying to distract Laur from the very flirty football player trying to talk to her.

"He asked me to dance. I said ew" I cackled evilly.

"Why would you do that?" Laurel gasped.

"Cause I hate him?" I mean that's kind of a known thing.

"Marc asked you to dance?" Mike frowned and I noticed Charlie glare at him.

"I mean I kind of just said that" I nodded.

"Kevin's not going to like that" Mike shook his head. "Hey let's go upstairs"

"What?" Charlie had a little outburst. "They aren't like that bro"

"Woah, woah. That's not what I meant. Lets go upstairs to the family room. That's the last place I saw Kevin and Devin" Mike through his hands up in defense.

"Oh" Charlie's cheeks burned red. "That better be what you meant" he tried to play it off.

"Awwww Charlie" Laurel giggled. "You're so sweet"

"Oh well. I just don't want you getting hurt" Charlie rubbed the back of his neck.

"Awwwww" Laurel threw her arms around Charlie. "You're a great guy. Let's go dance"

And then Laur disappeared into the crowd with a confused but happy looking Charlie.

"He knows I'm gay right?" Mike asked.

"I don't think he knows" I laughed. "But at least that pushed him to make a move"

"Yep. Come on lets go find Kevin" Mike grabbed my hand to lead me to where Kevin was.

We got to the top of the stairs when we were stopped.

"She's drinking, man. I think you should go back downstairs" Marc had a dark glint in his eyes.

Oh yeah. I forgot that Marc broke Mike's nose in the event that caused him to get sent to boarding school. This wont be good.

"Excuse me?" Mike took another step up, to match Marc's height but Marc put a hand up to stop him.

"You're going back down. Either you walk down or I push you down" Marc smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey stupid" I got Marc's attention. "Mike came out of the closet sophomore year so I doubt he's trying to take advantage or me or whatever. And we're trying to get to the family room"

Marc's demeanor changed from tough guy to embarrassed real quick.

"Oh. Sorry bro" Marc grabbed Mike's hand and did some sort of bro hug.

"Let's go to the family room" Marc wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I rolled my eyes.

"Get off of me" I snorted and shrugged his arm off of me.

"Why don't you love me thick Thea? I'm just trying to keep you safe. All I ask in return is a little affection" Marc cried dramatically and I couldn't help but laugh, ignoring that dumbass nickname he has for me.

"Hey Thea" Devin stumbled out of the bathroom rubbing his nose.

"Hey Devin. You good?" I laughed at his disheveled appearance.

"Yeah, yeah. You looking for Kev?" Devin asked and the three of us nodded.

"Yeah, he's in here" Devin lead us into the family room.

"Hey I found Thea with Mike and Marc" Devin sat next to Kevin.

"It's my best friennnnd" Kevin howled and my eyes widened.

"How much has he drank?" I laughed.

"Kevin, here, is a lightweight" Marc plopped down next to his brother. "So I'm assuming about, 3 beers?"

"Yeah" Kevin nodded with a big smile on his face. "Marc move over, let Thea sit next to me"

Marc gave Kevin an annoyed look and whispered something to him before scooting over.

"Come on Thea. We don't bite" Marc smirked as I rolled my eyes and awkwardly sat in between my enemy and old best friend.

"What did he just say?" The fake red-head attached to Kevin's arm hissed at him.

"Nothing baby. I'm just trying to talk to Thea" Kevin waved her off and I sighed. More drama.

"Why do you want to talk to her?" Mikayla crossed her arms.

"She's been my friend for years, babe" Kevin rolled his eyes as Devin watched with raised eyebrows.

"Kevin-"

"Mikayla, if you can't stop complaining-"

"Don't act like that just because some whore you're fucking-"

"Get out" Marc glared at the red head while I sat awkwardly in this mess that I let myself get into.

"Kevin, you're going to let him talk to me like that! I'm your girlfriend!" Mikayla gasped.

"Mikayla..." Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're not my girlfriend"

For the first time ever, Marc and I burst out laughing at the same thing at the same time. I mean really laugh too. Stomach hurting, tears leaking kind of laugh.

"Screw you guys" Mikayla rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room.

"That was cold" Devin laughed.

Kevin shrugged.

I looked up from where I was leaning and wiped the tears that fell during our laughing fit to see the boys staring at me with their eyebrows raised.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't think we've ever seen you two... get along so well" Devin smirked and I furrowed my eyebrows.

Suddenly I realized the position I was in. God... Why do I ever think drinking is a good idea?

I guess while we were laughing so hard, Marc and I contorted into a weird position that would look... romantic if it was anyone else. I was leaning against Marc with my back against his side and his arm was around me, resting in my lap.

"Ew get off of me, weirdo" I pushed him away and he made an offended face before taking a huge breath in.

"Thank god, I couldn't breathe with all that weight on me" Marc inhaled dramatically and I glared at him.

"Fix the tent in your pants" My lips twisted into an evil smile as his eyes widened only for them to turn into a glare when he realized I was lying.

"I hate you"

"Aw. I'm so hurt" I mocked.

"Yeah well, anyway... Wanna play bedwetter?" Kevin asked.

"That game we used to play at sleepovers in elementary school?" I raised my eyebrows and Kevin nodded. "Yeah, that sounds weird. We're almost adults, we aren't at a sleepover and I don't wanna pee myself"

"Come on. It'll be fun. We can make modifications too" Kevin whined and Marc scoffed.

"Didn't know you were into watersports, bro" Marc grinned at our disgusted faces.

"We'll each get a bottle of something and the first person to piss, puke or tap out loses"

"Winner gets this" Devin pulled out a fat blunt and that caught all of our attention.

And that's how I've gotten myself into this position.

"She's so hot" Marc mumbled next to me.

"I know" My eyesight was focused on Hannah Keith. Everything was blurred out but her.

Marc and I ended up winning bedwetter. Meaning we were both stoned as hell. We were still in the family room but Kevin and Devin disappeared after Kevin puked in the corner and Devin ran off mumbling about how he was about to piss himself.

Marc had his arm around me basically and I was too tired to hold my body up so I was leaning against him. I guess I can ignore my hatred for him for a few hours.

"She's looking at me" Marc gasped and shook me lightly.

"She is" I squinted evilly. "Go talk to her"

"R-Really?" Marc flinched at his stutter. I guess he isn't fully over it.

"Yeah. Go for it" I started hyping him up.

"Okay, yeah. I got this"

I watched as Marc struggled to keep his balance as he stumbled towards Hannah. Oh god... I watched them converse a little bit before he turned back towards me and made his way back.

"What happened?" I asked as he settled back next to me and tried pulling me back to our original position.

"I don't know. I really thought she was into me" Marc sighed and gave me an annoyed look when I wouldn't settle back into the position he wanted.

"Yeah..." I sighed dramatically. "She's more into girls"

"What? Thea? Where are you going?" Marc asked as I got up and made my way over to Hannah.

I talked to Hannah for a little bit while keeping an eye on Marc's astonished face.

"Oh yeah! That's my girl!" Marc hooted as I walked out of the family room with Hannah.

"He's an idiot" Hannah laughed as we walked down the hallway.

"Yeah he is" I smiled.

"You like him" Hannah commented and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm crossfaded. If I was sober I would be trying to kill him" I shook my head.

"You know what they say, drunk people speak the truth" Hannah grinned and I rolled my eyes.

Hannah looked at me and smirked.

"So was this just some joke against Marc. Or are you trying to have some fun?"

"Oh" I grinned.

Less than a minute later Hannah and I fell onto a bed and-

"Occupied!" Devin's voice yelled from underneath us.

"You're by yourself!" Hannah started laughing.

"I'm getting rest" Devin said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Oh hey Thea"

"Hey" I laughed.

"Oh wow" Mikayla's voice came from the doorway. "Didn't know you were that kind of whore"

"Excuse me?" I glared at her.

"You know the rule" Is all she said before sauntering away.

"I don't know why my brother is sleeping with her" Devin shook his head. "She's too much"

"Well.. Maybe we can continue this another night" Hannah laughed.

"Yeah... Sorry about this" I laughed awkwardly.

"It's chill. See ya around, Thea" And then she left the room.

"Well, we should leave before anyone else gets any ideas" Devin stood up and I nodded.

"So" Marc found me downstairs and playfully punched my shoulder. "How was it?"

"Well we made it to the bedroom, where we interrupted Devin's nap time. And then Kevin's side piece walked in and thought we were having a threesome" I explained. "So I think it was the best sex I've ever had"

"Man... That sucks" Marc sighed. "Well, lets go outside and finish this blunt"

Marc wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we started making our way outside to the back porch. There were a few people out there. Laurel, Charlie and Millie were sitting at a table watching us in confusion. And Kevin, Devin and... Mikayla were sitting on the stairs.

"Excuse us" Marc lightly kicked his brothers so we could pass. "Trying to take advantage of our winnings here"

Before anyone could say anything, Mikayla's annoying voice filled the air.

"Wow. I was going to keep this a secret but all three brothers! In one night? That's low for a preachers daughter"

"What the fuck did you just say?" Marc whipped around with a dark look in his eyes.

"You didn't know? Its so obvious that she's sleeping with all three of you. The whore she is" Mikayla smirked.

"What the hell did you just say about my best friend?" Laurel stood up from where she was sitting.

Next thing you know, Charlie and Millie were trying to calm Laurel down because she was screaming at Mikayla and Kevin and Devin were trying to explain to her that I haven't slept with either of them. But Mikayla kept running her mouth, so I decided that the best option was to punch her in the face.

Absolute silence because nobody expected me, to punch anybody.

"That was hot" Marc mumbled into the silence.