Tom showed up at my doorstep (I mean Adrian's doorstep) and there was no way for me to avoid him. I still don't feel ready to talk to him about what happened with the other boss and confront him about his change, but it seems that I must.

"Oh... Tom." I sighed when I saw him, wondering how he found me. Probably he pressured Ellen into telling him. "Come in." I moved aside to let him pass.

"I realised you are trying to avoid me, but I must talk to you." He took a seat on the couch and I joined him by sitting on the armchair.

"Okay so tell me." I said a little coldly because the fact that I'm forced to discuss this now annoys me.

"What did he do to you after work that night? Is it true that it was just a little bit of dirty dancing?" He asked referring to his business partner, the dickhead boss. I shook my head.

"It was more than that but I really don't want to talk about it. I am glad I'm out of there." I admitted causing him some pain which is evident on his face.

"I talked to him and it won't happen again. He is sorry about it, he just didn't know that it bothered you. He said you didn't show any signs of displeasure." In a way that is true but it was obvious that I was uncomfortable and all four men noticed.

"I wasn't comfortable at all and that was obvious. I felt pressured into it because if I didn't do it he'd fire me. And you changed too Tom. The club isn't a safe one anymore." I spoke my true feelings.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away. You know how the girls always walked all over me because I never shout and this new guy is very strict. I thought that following his example sometimes would be wise. I made a mistake and I promise to change it. You have your job back." He is clearly affected by it and regrets his decisions.

"I don't want it." I paused. "I am sorry too about the way Adrian handled it, but to be honest if he didn't I'd probably just keep up with it all. I'm not angry with you Tom, our friendship remains intact."

"Are you sure?" He urged. "What else will you do? I will increase your salary more, reduce your shifts..." He kept on going but I stopped him.

"Tom don't. I'm not coming back." I said with a sad tone, disappointing him.

___

During the day I felt lonely and worried about the future. I hate not having things sorted out and I don't deal well with uncertainty. So I called the only person I could, Adrian, to go for a walk. He accepted.

"Thank you for coming." I said while closing my coat. It has become really cold in these past few days.

"I was surprised that you called." He admitted as we strolled through dark roads illuminated by street lights.

"I'm so sad, I just don't want to be alone." As pathetic as I might sound, it is how it is.

"Why?" He asked pointing at a bench in the park we've been walking through and we sat down.

Placing my hands in the pockets and looking straight in front of me, I spoke. "Do you believe in past lives? I must have been a terrible person in one of them because I don't see why life is doing this to me. Everyone has something and lacks something, but it seems to be taking away most things from me." I burst out crying, experiencing a total emotional collapse. I seem to be having a lot of these lately.

"Shhh." Adrian whispered pulling me closer and I buried my face in his shirt.

I sobbed for some time and when I finally stopped crying I remained in the same position for a little while. Adrian held me tightly.

"Let's sleep next to each other tonight." He proposed and I finally pulled away, shaking my head left and right.

"No I can't. After everything with Crystal and Julian it's just...wrong." I shook my head again looking down at the floor with my nose red from crying.

"No I won't touch you. I just want to hold you, fully clothed. And who is to say what is right or wrong anyway." He insisted and a big part of me wants to give in but is scared.

"I'm not sure..." I replied.

"It is up to you, I am not going to force you. All you have to do is reach out with your hands and I'll carry you back home where we can just lay down and enjoy the silence." I must admit that I'm surprised that Adrian showed me some respect instead of just grabbing me and taking me there.

"Just don't hurt me please." I whispered asking him not to repeat his actions. This doesn't mean that I'm back with him but letting him comfort me is the same as letting him in. "And if it's really just to be there for me then you'll leave after I'm asleep. That's the only way I'll do it."

"If that's what makes you comfortable then it's fine for me."

He reached and scooped me up, carrying me back to the apartment. Some passers by would stare at us, but it doesn't bother me.

Adrian continued holding me even when we arrived, opening the door with one hand. We left all the lights off except for the bedside table lamp. As promised, Adrian simply hugged me as we laid down quietly, not touching me anywhere and fully clothed.

Just laying down like that makes me feel secure and cared for even if that might not be how things are. The reality is harsh and loneliness is even harsher so the fact that he is here, even though terrible things happened between us, makes me feel like everything is going to be alright.

___

I woke up at 4am to pee and I found Adrian sleeping on the couch, meaning he fulfilled my wish to leave once I'm asleep. Well he didn't exactly leave but he isn't in the same bed as me. Maybe he fell asleep too and when he woke up he didn't feel like driving to his house. Which is okay. This is his apartment anyway.

In the morning we watched the news on TV because neither of us felt like talking due to having just woken up. As always he looks beautiful. Yes beautiful is more of a feminine word but that's how I'd describe him right now. Well that is how I'd always describe him. With his clear skin but a puffy face from sleeping he looks calm and there is nothing on it suggesting all his flaws and issues. Although he's been doing better lately.

We were interrupted by the doorbell and Adrian suddenly fully woke up, unsure who it could be. He narrowed his brows and gave me a confused look.

"It might be the postman." I shrugged unbothered, still watching the TV.

"No I don't get post delivered here." He got up and headed for the door.

When he opened we both saw a familiar face. Julian. Adrian let him come in, his mood dropping. He tried not to make it obvious but I know when Adrian's mood is shifted.

"I'd like to talk to Lana." He said as he walked in, his eyes landing straight on me.

Adrian, now the doorman, closed the door and joined us. His expression is serious and so is mine. I didn't expect Julian to show up like this or come to talk to me at all. When he chose not to reply to that message when I told him openly that him being with another girl made me jealous, it meant that it's the end. This was only further confirmed when Adrian said how he wished for Julian to come and 'save' me but he simply told him that he is moving on and won't do it.

"Umm sure. Would you like some tea?" I offered, talking casually. Small talk helps me relax in situations like this one.

"Yes please." Hearing his reply, I got up and we went in the kitchen.

Adrian stayed behind with the same facial expression. I filled the kettle and turned it on, then prepared the mugs and two tea bags. He sat down at the table while I turned to face him, leaning on the counter.

"What is this about?" I started off the conversation as the water boiled.

"Close the door please." He demanded and I did it. "I want to talk about us a little bit and apologise." He explained.

"Apologise about what?" I asked then leaned back on the counter.

"Adrian came and told me what was happening in that club and I chose not to help you. I let my hurt feelings take the best of me and instead of seeing a vulnerable female and helping her, all I saw is that you chose to be there. I thought you deserved it, but of course you didn't. No girl does. And I am sorry." He started with the apology, saying how he felt even though he didn't have to. The fact that he thought I deserved it even for an instant, is disturbing. But I can understand it.

"It's fine, I accept your apology." The water finished boiling and I pored it into our cups, handing him one and keeping the other while taking a seat at the table, opposite him.

"You were right about us too. By saying that we based our relationship on revenge. And maybe if we met under different circumstances things would work out for us. But you need to know as well that Adrian loves you. I know my brother better than anyone and I've seen it in his eyes." He continued talking but I didn't expect him to say the last part.

"So what if he does? I don't understand." Taking a sip of my tea, I asked.

"Maybe that love could overcome what you did to each other. Honestly it sounds crazy but I've seen it in him." Quickly I realised that he is suggesting that Adrian and I work things out.

"I'm not so sure Julian, some things are difficult to get over. Besides, I don't want to hurt you too." I confessed but he shook his head. I find it hard to believe how he can suggest something like this and we recently split up.

"No, you wouldn't. It makes me sad that we didn't end up together but I'm grateful for all the time we spent together." He paused, looking me straight in the eyes. "You really are something else Lana." He squeezed my hand gently while he said it, as a sign of reassurance.