"Thank you so so so much Lana, I owe you one!" Ellen exclaimed on the other side of the phone as I told her the happy news.

"I sent him your phone number so expect a call." What crossed my mind is that she'll be at Adrian's house often and she'll be able to tell me if she finds out anything interesting. Like for example why he lives with his dad if his grandpa left him an apartment.

"Great!" She replied and we concluded our conversation.

When I saw Tom walking into a bar in which we decided to meet after he called me this morning, I left my phone aside. He said he wants to talk about something and I assume it's about the issue with Scarlett. He waved from the distance as he got closer. He dressed up more than usual and even his hair had some gel in it. When he asked to meet up to talk I suggested we meet either at my house or at the club, but he insisted for us to go somewhere nice. So I picked this bar. It's small and cozy but it's furnished very well. He took a seat opposite me and raised his hand for the waitress to come.

"How are you?" I asked smiling and he mimicked my expression. Placing his elbows on the table he leaned forward.

"Very good actually. What about you?" I wondered what the reason for his good mood was but I didn't ask. Instead I decided to get the conversation over as soon as possible. We were stopped by a waitress who took our orders.

"Fine. Listen...About Scarlett..." I kept on pausing. "She started it off. I'm sorry that everyone had to see it." I apologised showing him the concern clearly on my face. He shook his head still smiling.

"I'm not here to talk about Scarlett. I'll let it slip just make sure it doesn't happen again." He leaned back on his chair and I was baffled. What else would he want to talk about with me?

"So what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Curiosity was written all over me as I waited for his reply. He took a deep breath.

"There is something I've always wanted to tell you but never did. I realised that I'm running out of time and I decided to finally admit it." The waitress brought our drink breaking some tension that suddenly appeared in the air. I raised my eyebrow questioningly.

"Admit what?" I asked cluelessly and he leaned forward on the table again. Taking a sip of his drink, he spoke. "We have a great friendship that I value very much...but I've always liked you for more than that. And I needed to tell you before you become serious with that guy."

What I sort of knew but thought he would never tell me, was now thrown in my face. The awkwardness and discomfort I felt were impossible to describe. I wanted the Earth to open and swallow me whole because I didn't know how to reject him. He watched my face for a reaction. I let it sink and took a minute to think before saying anything.

"Look Tom... If you asked me before maybe I would give it a chance." No I wouldn't. "But now there is someone and it's not serious yet but it's getting there." Well maybe it isn't becoming serious with Adrian, I don't know, but I lied to make my point stronger. His jolly mood turned into disappointment.

"Yes but you are not together, you could give me a chance! I can make you happy." He insisted but there was no way I would agree. I just don't see him that way.

I sighed. "I am sure you have a lot to give but it's just not the right time." His pain was apparent and it made me feel bad but he gave me no choice. He was direct and I had to be too. Although I tried to make it sound milder by saying it's not the right time rather than admitting that I don't like him.

"I'll give you whatever you want! I can raise your salary if you'd like?" This guy just doesn't give up, does he? The fact that he tried to convince me by offering to increase my salary made him seem desperate and even offended me a little. He's can't buy me with money.

That's exactly what I told him causing him to finally give up. I insisted that I don't want to lose our friendship and told him that maybe one day timing will be right. But it wasn't enough to make him feel better. He just said he'd see me at work and paid the bill. Then we both went home.

His little confession about liking me upset me because being around him will feel awkward. Unless he does his best to pretend that the conversation never happened. Despite knowing that he liked me I always felt relaxed with him because he didn't show it excessively. I noticed through little things.

___

I spent the afternoon taking pictures for Instagram. It's really fun and it helps me get my mind off things. Being focused on it felt relaxing and neither Adrian nor Tom crossed my mind. Adrian is someone I like to think about but if I start overthinking the little things, it becomes stressful. And I tend to do that.

I have the evening off because some repairs are being done at the club so it's closed. On the first thought I wanted to call Adrian and go somewhere but on the second I remembered of a very important rule in a relationship - don't make yourself too available, have a life. So instead I opted to have a girls' night with Ellen who immediately agreed due to having nothing to do.

About two hours before she came I cleaned my apartment really well and went quickly to the supermarket near by. Packing my trolly with snacks, beverages, face masks and different colours of nail polish, I felt excited. Despite being a loner, at the same time I crave human company and spending time talking and bonding with someone. Whether with a friend or a partner, human connection is a game changer.

First we watched a soppy movie on the carpet covered with blankets with nourishing masks on our faces. We allowed ourselves to binge on snacks and not worry about all the calories eaten. Right after that we moved onto making cocktails and got drunk. We danced to the loud music and laughed like crazy until the old woman who owns the building came to warn us about the noise. We had to put the volume down but it didn't bother us because we stayed talking and confessing our problems. Ellen managed to control her drinking because of her son and also because early in the morning she has to go to Adrian's house for cleaning.

I on the other hand, blacked out...