《The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️》Ch. 37

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"HARLEY DEYES WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Mali yells

I really wanted to go back to that bench right now.

"Definitely not in here or else all of you would've found me" I say

"DON'T BE A SMARTASS RIGHT NOW. WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!" She continues to yell

"You didn't answer your phone-heck you left it here. What if something bad happened to you? We wouldn't know cause we can't call you" Chris begins scolding me as well, but he says it a calmer tone. It was one of those calm but scary anger.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?! Emma and I were so worried. You left school early, and today you didn't even show up. We left a billion texts and calls, but you wouldn't answer. We come here and the place is completely empty." Mali says

"Harley...why'd you skip school? Why didn't you answer our texts?" Emma's tone was softer than the two.

"I needed some time to think." I finally speak up

"Something happened yesterday and it really fucked me up, so I needed some to think, be alone, and be at peace. I shut everyone out and left the house when I knew you were coming." I explained

"What happened?" Mali asks

"You don't need to know" I say

"I think we do. We're your friends, Harley. We want to help you." Chris says

"I can't...I'm sorry" I look down sadly. This was my battle against my self. I can't drag them into my fucked up mind.

"Well, call us when you trust us. Unlike you, we'll pick up the phone because we care if someone worries about us." Mali says coldly. She grabs Emma's arm and walks out. I looked at Chris.

"She's right, Har. You gotta trust us." He sighs and walks out as well.

"You three are awfully quiet. You wanted a separate scolding session?" I say to the three guys left

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"You had your hands full already." Reece says

"You can start now." I turn around to face them

"Okay. Let's start with your mirror." Kaden says

"Figured someone would've found it. I bet you searched the whole fucking house" I closed my eyes to try and contain my emotions. I didn't want to feel anything.

"Only we saw it. We figured that those two will give you hell if they found out" Reece says

"If you're not gonna tell your friends, then I doubt you're gonna tell us. All we want to say is that we're on your side." Kaden says

"Everyone keeps secrets. Your friends should know that. I have a feeling that you'll tell them eventually. They just need to learn how to be patient and how to give you space" Reece says

I look at them with a small smile on my face. I give them both a hug which they gladly return.

"Thank you." I say

"We're also going out to buy you a new mirror." Kaden says

"You don't have to. I can just wipe it all away" I say

"Yeah...uhm..." Kaden hugs me again, making Reece laugh

"He punched it. It broke." Reece says

"What?!" I exclaim

"I'm sorry! I'll pay for it. I promise." Kaden says

"It's fine..." I wave it off. It's just a mirror.

"Have fun with your bad luck" I chuckle

"Uh oh..."

The three of us laugh until a cough interrupts us. Jaxon looks at Kaden and Reece with a knowing look. They both nod at him and give me one more hug before leaving.

"Harley, I'm so sorry. This whole thing is my fault. I caused you to break down. It was my fault you were too upset to go to school. It's my fault you were upset. It's my fault your fighting with your friends. It's...it's my fault you think that way of yourself..." He wasted no time in saying all this.

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"Jaxon...it's not...completely your fault. It's mostly mine. What you said just triggered some painful memories. I had a breakdown. It happens. It's not your fault, okay?" I say

"It's my fault..."

"Well I forgive you." As soon as I say this, he grabs me into a tight hug

"You're not worthless. You're not stupid. You're not pathetic. You are definitely not ugly. You're weak. You're not a freak. Did I mention you're NOT worthless?" He says

"Jaxon-"

"Please please please don't ever think that again." He mumbles please continuously

"Jaxon." I cut him off

"Don't think about it anymore. I'm fine now." I say

"No you're not...I'm sorry, Harley. I keep hurting you..." He looks down sadly

"Yeah...you do."

What? It was the truth.

"I was hoping a "no", but lying is bad." He chuckles

"Yup. I'm not gonna lie. You do hurt me a lot." I say

"I wish I can promise you that I won't ever do it again, but I don't trust myself. I don't want that promise to bite me in the ass if I ever do hurt you. I'm sorry, Harley. I'm sorry I'm such a failure and such a fuck up." He says

"Jaxon, stop apologizing..."

"Stop apologizing for the truth?" He says

"Just stop talking. All this drama is hurting my head. I just want to sleep and get over all this drama." I say

"I'm sorry" He whispers one last time

"It's fine." I give him a hug

.

.

.

Mali was still mad at me the next day. She and Emma avoided me. The guys were out the whole day, so I was all alone. I decided that I'd apologize to them later after school, but I wasn't that patient.

I waited for Mali outside her classroom during lunch break. Once I saw her, I grabbed her wrist and dragged her out to the tree with Emma following close behind.

Once we got there, Mali sat in front of me with an annoyed look.

"I'm sorry. I do trust you guys, but sometimes there are things that I need to keep for myself. What happened yesterday was a battle I had to fight by myself. I didn't want to drag you into it." I say

"I understand that you need to fight by yourself, but with the writings on your mirror it seems that you lost." Mali said in tears. My eyes widen in surprise.

"Y-you saw?" I say. Kaden said it was just him and the other guys.

"Of course we did! Your bathroom door was wide open. Chris saw it and called us. Why would you think that of yourself, Harley?!" Mali started crying. Emma was also crying beside her.

"Harley...you're our friend. We really don't want you to do that to yourself. Add the fact that you ran away and wouldn't answer our calls, what did you think we felt?! You worried us so much...We're honestly not mad that you didn't tell us because we understand that it might be private. We're mad because you're not taking care of yourself properly. We're mad because you won't let us help you. We're mad because-" Emma couldn't finish because she was sobbing so hard

"I get it...I'm sorry. It's the way I cope, but I'm fine now. I wish I can promise you that I won't ever do it again, but I don't trust myself." I use the words Jaxon had said yesterday

"Instead, I'm gonna try my best. I'll try my best not to worry you anymore. Is that okay?" I say to them

"Just try your best to be happy" Mali says through her sobs. I nod my head, and they attack me in a hug.

The same thing happened with Chris. I explained everything to him and he wasn't mad anymore. All our problems were fixed-just like my new mirror.

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