After Landon's death

The white ceiling was the first thing I came to see when I opened my eyes. I gasped and sat up in a quickness. My first instinct was to look down at my once bloody body but, now I was clean of any blood. I touched my rib cage and looked around, noticing that I wasn't out in the forest. Instead I was at my house in my living room.

"Layla?" I called out in pure confusion, I didn't know what this was but, all I was thinking about was her.

I didn't get an answer as I rose to my feet and walked to the stairs to run up them, "Layla." I shouted, a growing feeling of pain settling itself within my gut.

'She's not here.' Jake stated with such a sad tone almost like nothing meant anything anymore.

'She has to be here where else would she be?' I questioned, jogging back downstairs to go outside.

I could smell her scent, it was all around me so she had to be here. The scent of fresh roses and sweet strawberries filled my nose. Just as I opened the front door to go leave I couldn't, it was like an invisible wall stood before me. I banged my hand against the door frame in anger. The nagging feeling of pain in my gut was growing and I never felt more powerless.

I wanted Layla and obviously she wasn't here.

-

My hands dug into my hair out of pure frustration, every time I thought Layla was here, she wasn't. I've checked everywhere in this house. She's no where to be found or seen yet I can smell her and I've never wanted her more. I would swear I could hear her laughter only for it to be gone the next second. No one else seemed to be here either and I've worked up the fact that I'm dead.

I'm dead and this is my own personal hell. A world without Layla in it, hell a life without her in it.

I groaned and grabbed the nearest thing to throw, allowing it to smash to pieces against the wall. I did that to everything I seen in sight before the living room was a complete disaster. It hurt like nothing I've ever experienced, the hurt I had felt when my dad passed was sadly no match. I felt so torn apart without her, like nothing made sense. My eyes teared up out of frustration and pain.

If this was to be my life forever, I couldn't handle it.

~~~~~

In all of my years of living I've never felt such an aching pit in my stomach that was filled with dread, loneliness and heartbreak. It destroyed me, it made me feel cold, like I was nothing. But, when I woke up all of those feelings vanished and I was left with warmth. I felt the sparks I longed for and my wolf gained back his strength to feel something. Then when I could finally open my eyes the one person I've wanted was right in front of me, Layla.

She was in my arms now and I couldn't stop thinking about how relieved I was. Wherever I just was it was excruciatingly painful without her. I didn't have her and that about caused me to lose it but, she was here now.

How I was here though crossed my mind the next moment. A second ago I was in my house the next it was like I was being pulled back into the forest. Kade and I had fought long and vengeful against one another, we showed no mercy to each other. Which ultimately lead to our deaths. I know I died, I felt myself take my last breath all while saying goodbye to Layla.

I didn't want to, it terrified me to know I was leaving her. And even though I didn't know how I was here, all I knew was I never wanted to go back there.

"Alpha." Zach offered me some shorts and I grabbed them with my free hand as Layla slowly pulled herself out of my arms.

But, she kept ahold of my hand and I did my best to slip the baggy shorts on. I groaned, feeling my bones aching as I stood up, Layla coming up beside me.

"Landon." I snapped my head in the direction I heard the croaky tone.

It was my mom, she looked so broken it was the same way she looked after my dad passed. I slowly let go of Layla but, she held my hand tightly and I could feel how scared she was. I looked into her red eyes that were glossed over with tears. My hand came up to be placed against her cheek softly.

"Hey, I'm okay I'm right here." I smiled a bit reassuringly except it did no justice.

"Okay." she whispered, I wiped away the tears that were falling, bringing her to me to kiss her lips.

Then slowly I removed my hand from hers, she let go reluctantly and I stepped away. Before turning around to hug my mom who held onto me tighter than ever.

"I thought you were gone-" she sobbed, I cut her off returning her embrace.

"I'm right here mom, I'm okay." I stated as gently as I could.

We hugged for a couple seconds, I wanted her to know I was here and it was okay. After a few more, I felt something collide into my leg. I pulled out of the hug and looked down to see one of the little pups.

"Alpa is back." he said with a smile on his face and I heard the pack clapping, I looked around to see everyone relieved, happy even.

Then an involuntary growl was emitted from me released by Jake. I couldn't understand why, he's never growled or acted mean towards the pups. Unless Layla was, I turned around mid thought to catch her gaze. My eyes fell to her hand she had resting against her stomach and I instinctively tuned in to hear the tiniest heartbeat. It was slow but, nonetheless perfect.

I took long strides over to Layla and cupped her face between my hands. She looked so tired, scared and maybe even a little hurt. I hate that I caused that, I hate that I almost left her alone with our pup at that. All I could think about though was that she was in fact having our pup. I leant down to capture her lips in mine while lacing my fingers through hers that she had against her belly.

Her other hand came up to my cheek and I broke the kiss upon her touch. Our foreheads came together and my eyes opened up to meet her green orbs.

"You know I think this is a good thing to lead with when your mate just wakes up from death." I laughed a bit hoping to ease some of her worries which seemed to work.

Because, she laughed and that about melted any of mine away, "Sorry." she smiled, "I think we both have a lot to talk about."

"You're telling me?" I pulled away so I could look at her stomach.

I was finally getting my wish of loving a mini her.

As much as I love that I'm alive, I'm starting to want to know how it is. I was pretty sure I was bleeding from the inside out. No where in me did I see or have hope of me surviving yet, here I am. Once Layla and I got back to the house, she didn't want to leave my side. I didn't mind because, I didn't want her going anywhere as well.

I had gotten some of the guards to clean up the dead bodies of the rogues and Kade. Kade should have gotten his death fourteen years ago when he hit his mate. It angers me that he hurt Layla and almost took me from her. But, I'm glad before I died I had the chance to kill him. The pack has been told what happened and are still clueless as to how I'm here.

"You should lay down." Layla led me to the bed and I bit back a smile at the softness in her tone.

"Me lay down?" I questioned, sitting down in bed and tugging her towards me, "You should be laying down, you had a rough day."

She squealed when I pulled her over me to lay her on her side of the bed, "Landon!" she sighed with a smile on her face that matched mine.

I turned on my side and placed my hand on her belly, "And you're carrying our pup."

"You died today." she spoke suddenly, my eyes snapping up to hers, they were filled with conflict not quite meeting mine.

"Love." I sighed, because, truth be told I didn't know what to say.

I'm pretty sure I was still in shock myself.

She sighed as well, "You died today and I about lost it." she blew out a laugh, her eyes glossing over once again and I placed my hand against her jaw to turn her head towards me.

"I understand that but-"

"Landon you don't." she met my eyes, "After you died, the moon goddess came to see me and she's how you're here right now." I furrowed my eyebrows at the sudden information.

I slowly sat up, "A-and she said that there was consequences but, I didn't care." she explained, "I just wanted you back and now I'm scared." I felt how much this was weighing on her and even though this was a lot to take in, I wanted to comfort her first.

I grabbed her hand and tugged her over to my lap, she straddled me and buried her face in my chest. My hand rested on the back of her head to stroke her long hair between my fingers. And I felt one of her hands enclose around my shirt, she felt safe now. I kissed the top of her head softly, continuing to rub her back and stroke her damp locks. She pushed herself closer to me which only made me pull her into me more if physically possible.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

"For what?" I questioned against her head, giving her another light kiss.

"When we met, I died on you and at the time I didn't think it was that big a deal but, after today I know how you felt." she pulled out of the hug but, still remained close to me, "I'm sorry." her forest orbs caught my eyes and they held so much emotion.

I shook my head, that memory of her almost dying was sort of pushed to the back of my head. Just because, of how much pain I felt in those few moments. But, Layla she had to experience me being dead for over just a few moments. And she was carrying our pup. For that I will be incredibly sorry to her forever.

"I'm sorry too." I grasped her chin between my pointer finger and thumb, "No more dying on each other, okay?" I asked, she laughed, nodding her head with that smile of hers that made my heart beat faster.

"Okay." she replied, clutching my shirt tighter in her hand and I caressed her chin.

"Okay." I smiled, bringing her towards me, "And for the record, I'd do anything to bring you back even if it meant consequences, so whatever this consequence is we can deal with it together because, I love you." I finished and she smiled as I brought her to me to connect our lips in a longing, passionate kiss.

"I love you."