《The Runt & The Alpha》Chapter 29- It's Okay.
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Landon's body was frozen, completely and I could practically feel the anger consume him. He sat up which caused me to sit up as well, my eyes meeting his cold ones. Without saying anything he cupped my head and dipped down into my neck. Where he kissed my mark. It made me shiver from the tingle that shot through me.
I knew how dire the topic of them was but, somewhere in me, needed to know. Needed to know where they were, what they were doing. Just closure I guess, that one day they couldn't show up out of no where. And ruin my life again because, even though Landon is in my life now, it sadly wouldn't stop me from still fearing them.
Warily I moved my hands to the back of his head, threading my fingers into his hair. Something I haven't done but, felt like he needed the comfort.
"A-are you okay?" I questioned softly.
He breathed in my scent before lifting his head to look me in the eyes. There was such conflict behind them that made me want to take it all away.
"Yeah." he whispered, "Yes, I'm okay." he pulled me into him, our lips fitting perfectly together.
I kissed him back softly, allowing my hands to pull him in closer. When we broke apart I already knew I was blushing, I could feel it. He smiled, running his thumbs over my cheeks. Then it slowly faded as he stared at me strangely. It made me feel slightly insecure so I immediately looked down, starting to slip my hands from him to place in my lap.
"No, love look at me please" he stated lifting my head up as he still had his hands on my cheeks, "I just." he sighed, "Why do you want to know?" he questioned.
Suddenly images of the guys were flashing through my mind, "I-i just want to have s-some closure I guess." I muttered, now feeling a bit sick at the thought of them.
But, I knew this was something I need to hear, "Are you sure?" he asked, gently stroking the side of my hair.
I nodded and he brought me forward, kissing my forehead. It made me smile after he pulled away he dropped his hands to his sides.
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"Their in the cells still, I haven't decided what to do with them." he said straightforwardly, trying to read my reaction.
Mia shouted.
I ignored her and focused on my thoughts, I don't know what I expected to hear but, knowing they were still in the cells. It gave me some sort of comfort, knowing they were somewhere they couldn't reach me. But, I know that's not all, Landon is one of the most ruthless alphas and has showed me that. So a part of me knew that, that wasn't all of it. I just didn't know how to ask him without sounding like I care about them.
Because, I don't but, I am though, still a person. A person who has went through abuse and wouldn't wish it upon anyone, not even them.
"What is it?" he asked, reaching for my hand.
Just say it, "D-did you-"
I couldn't get a word out before he sighed, gripping at my hand, "I couldn't not do anything." he stated lowly with a growl.
There was a moment of silence while I looked down at our hands. The thought of him hurting the guys because, of me is a little much. But, the fact that he did it for me, it made me feel protected. Yet I hope he wasn't still doing it, no one in my eyes deserves abuse. Maybe it's because, I'm scared of them or maybe it's because, I've spent so many years getting abused.
That the thought of someone getting the same treatment I did, makes me a little sick. Even if they did horrible things to me. I breathed in deeply eyeing his thumb caressing my hand.
"Layla, I want you to know I did what I did because, I felt like they deserved it." his free hand came up to grip my chin gently, lifting my head, "I hate what they did to you, it makes me so disgustingly angry, that I just took it out on them." he explained, his eyes filled with such thick emotion.
His thumb caressed my chin as words I'd never expected myself to say slipped from my mouth, "C-can I see them?"
Mia shouted accusingly.
It was like a switched had been flipped, he got up from the bed with a loud growl. Slipping his hands from me all together.
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"No." he growled harshly the sound growing louder by the second.
The only reason I believe part of me wanted to see them was to finally be done with them. To be able to face them even with my fear, but, know they can't touch me anymore. Know they can't hurt me anymore, to know they can't get to me.
To know that, I'm free from them.
"La-" I tried to explain but, he cut me off.
"No, Layla." his voice boomed throughout the room making me jump and close my eyes, "I don't want them to see you, they don't get to, they don't get to see how much better you're doing, they, they..."
I opened my eyes as his voice trailed off, the palm of his hands were covering his eyes. And he looked so frustrated I'd never seen Landon like this. It was like his anger and resentment towards the guys was hitting him in waves. He didn't know how to stop it I felt it, he felt it and I got up off the bed slowly.
"Landon." I spoke softly, bringing my hands to his wrists to pull them off his face.
They were red with irritation and glossed over but, I couldn't be sure as his head turned away from me. Almost like he was hiding himself from me, which made me feel bad. I'd never want him to feel like he couldn't cry or show emotion like this. I've never seen him like this before so I want him to know he was safe with me.
I put my hand to his jaw, turning his head towards me, "Landon." I called again.
He let me turn his head but, he still wouldn't look at me. I placed my hands on the sides of his face and stroked his cheeks.
"Look at me, please." I whispered and he did, his eyes were indeed glossed over.
And I looked at him like it was the first time. The brown in his eyes was dark but, glimmering from the light in the room. His eyebrows were black and furrowed with irritation. It was red underneath his eyes and his jaw was flexing in lividness. I slid my hands under his, using my thumbs to caress the tops.
They were strained out and I tried to relax them in soothing motions, "It's okay." I whispered, "I understand."
His stare was intense almost nerve wracking but, for some reason I didn't care. It didn't affect me like it usually would. Landon needed my comfort and I wanted to give it to him. Just like he's done with me.
"It's okay." I repeated, looking down at our hands, seeing how much they relaxed in mine.
When they did I looked up releasing his hands and slowly slipping them over his bare shoulders to pull him into a hug. I was scared he wouldn't hug me back but, in an instant his arms wrapped around my waist. Bringing me into such a tenacious hold, his head falling into my shoulder. Everywhere felt on fire, warm. I felt safe and protected, this hug was one that could easily top all the others.
"It's okay."
Landon chuckled, his head tilting back, "You don't think I can?" I laughed along with him.
It amazed me how happy he was right now while earlier blurred away. I love how quick I could give him my comfort and how much he accepted it. Especially how much it could help us both so fast. We took our first ever nap together after we hugged, which was so serene. Now as he woke up he told me, he wants me to draw him.
Which was extremely insane, so when I declined he told me, "What afraid you can't do it?"
"I never said that, I think you can do anything." he said seriously staring at me, which made me blush.
I put some hair behind my ear nervously and sighed looking up to him again from my journal, "Okay."
Landon grinned, "Okay?" he started to move closer to me before I backed up with a light laugh.
"Okay."
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