7:57pm.

I was pacing back and forth in my room, staring at my phone while biting on my thumbnail.

I was already dressed in my black flared dress, white sneakers and a jean jacket. He said we were just going to talk and then he was going to leave but I didn't know why I felt like dressing up.

I found out that I got into Georgetown University earlier that day but I wasn't exactly happy about it, to me, it was like a reminder that either way, Adrian and I were bound to fail.

Except, I didn't want us to fail, I wanted us to work, even after summer was over.

8:23pm.

A car horns outside and my heart jumps.

He was outside.

"Damnit." I took a deep breath, not feeling prepared.

I left my room, descending down the stairs and exiting the house.

I narrowed my eyes at the unfamiliar SUV Land Rover that was parked on the street, he was in the SUV and I hesitated before opening the passenger side door and getting in, I shut the door and I felt his eyes all over me.

How do I face him after Thursday night?

I slowly turned to look at him, he was dressed in all black. Black head sock, black hoodie, black jeans, it was too dark to see his shoes but I knew they were black.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling.

"Why are you dressed like that?" His eyes raked me down, I pulled my dress down to cover my exposed legs and he chuckled, looking out the window.

"I went out." I said, he was still looking outside, "with the girls." I clarified.

I didn't go with the girls. I was home. getting ready. For two hours straight.

Silence took over when he didn't respond or turn to look at me.

It had been a while since we experience that kind of awkward silence.

"Where are you going?" I finally asked.

"I didn't come here to have casual talk with you. I'm here for honesty." I could see that he was having a hard time looking at me.

"I know." I uttered.

"Ask." He said, his tone so straight forward.

Ask.

What was I supposed to ask? Where was I supposed to start?

"Who's car is this?" I led with that.

"I see you're not ready, please get out." He pushed the ignition button and the car came to life.

"No."

"No?" He glanced at me with a serious expression.

"No." I repeated.

"Then fucking ask me, Emily, I don't have time for your bullshit drama right now." He sounded irritated, I bit on my lower lip and looked forward, telling myself not to let it get to me.

"I've asked you two questions so far which you haven't answered, I don't know what I'm supposed to ask you, Adrian." My tone cracked and betrayed me.

"Fine. I'm dressed like this because I'm going to a costume party then I'm gonna commit a crime and I borrowed this car from a friend." He blurted out.

My brows went up.

"What party? What crime? Which friend?" I asked, he rolled his eyes.

"Spy fest, breaking and entering, Bob." He responded.

"Spy fest?"

"Yes."

Bullshit.

"I thought we were doing honesty." I knew he was lying.

He sighed defeatedly.

"No party. Just breaking and entering and Bob." He said honestly.

"Why are you breaking and entering?"

"Because I need to steal something, why do you think the rest of the world does it?" He sounded rude.

"What's something?" I didn't know if asking that question was a wise decision.

"Cocaine." He looked at me, he only looked at me so he would catch my reaction but I didn't give him one.

I was shocked, scared and I wanted to get out of that car and run to my house but I didn't, you know why? Because it wasn't up to my mind to decide, it was up to my heart and my heart was the biggest betrayer of all.

"Why are you stealing cocaine?" I battered my eyes at him.

"Because I want to prove my point to someone." He looked away again.

He actually wanted it to scare me off, why did I feel like he was trying to push me away all over again.

"To Whom?" I asked.

"This will go on and on and on, I need to go." He said.

"And I need that honesty." it came out low and bumpy.

"I need that honesty too, remember? Maybe even more than you do." He said.

More than I did? Must have been a joke right?

"Then take me with you, we'll talk on the way there or the entire night if we have to." I suggested.

"I can't." He stared at me briefly.

"Adrian."

"I said I can't. Please get out of the car, I need to go." He leaned over to open the door for me but I touched his hand to stop him, he quickly retrieved his hand and literally shook it, like he was shaking off my touch.

Wow.

I grabbed the seatbelt and buckled up.

"I'm not going anywhere." I folded my arms over my chest.

"Stubborn as a chicken, fuck it." He said before he started driving.

None of us said anything on our way to his robbery, I wanted to ask him more questions but I couldn't find the right question to start with or the guts.

It wasn't like he was making it easy for me, he didn't glance my direction the entire time and it killed me.

After a few minutes of driving, he stopped the car in front of a warehouse building.

"Stay in the car." It was a demand.

He reached his hand to the backseat and grabbed a backpack, he opened the door to get out but then he paused and looked at me. In the eye.

"I mean it, Emily, stay in the goddamn car." Everything about him looked and sounded serious. I just nodded.

I didn't like serious Adrian. He was demanding and scary and didn't smile at all.

He got out of the car and I watched as he rushed to the building, he opened the front door with some kind of pin (which made my mouth fall open) then he went inside the building and he was gone for a long time and when he did come out, he came out faster than he went in.

He got in the car, threw the backpack on my lap, started the car and pulled out of the lot so fast the car made a roaring noise as we drove off.

My fingernails were digging into the leather seat, my heart was pounding so hard and his speeding was making me nervous.

I looked down at the bag on my lap, it was heavy.

Cocaine. I had drugs sitting on my lap.

I didn't move for that entire ride, I didn't even ask when he kept driving in a dust road that was surrounded by trees.

He parked the car at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, took off his sock, grabbed the bag from my lap and got out of the car.

I was just seated there. Frozen.

I heard one of the backseat doors open then close.

"You coming?" He knocked on the passenger side window and I jumped.

Coming? Where exactly?

I opened the door and stepped out, it was cold and dark and scary.

He closed the door and switched on the flashlight on his phone. I noticed a little shovel in his other hand.

We started walking into the woods and I cursed myself for not getting out of the car when he had told me to.

"Is it time for honesty yet?" I asked, walking closely behind him.

"I told you to ask me, you didn't ask shit so I don't know what you want from me." His tone still sounded pissed.

"I don't know what to ask you, Adrian, just tell me everything." I said.

"Everything?" He asked, trailing the word.

"Yes, from the very beginning."

He went quiet for a whole ten seconds.

"Okay then." he paused, "It started when I was fifteen, freshman year. Mom was working night so it was just me, my brother Ben and my Dad. I remember we watched a soccer game earlier that night." Hr stopped walking, so did I, he passed me his phone and started digging.

"Continue." I said eagerly, I had always wanted to hear that story and I was glad he was telling it.

He continued, "After the soccer game, we all went to bed but I was woken up by my Dad pounding on my door, I got up and tried to open the door but the knob was so hot it burned my hand, I couldn't open it, I saw smoke entering my room beneath my door, I could hear people coughing their lungs out, I heard Dad shouting the word help or maybe it was fire. he was trying to open my door but it wouldn't budge." He threw the shovel on the ground and opened the backpack, throwing the cocaine in the hole he dug then he used the little shovel to bury the cocaine. I wanted to ask why he was burying it but I shut my mouth and hoped he'd explain it at some point.

"I started to feel suffocated so I opened my window and lucky for me, there was a tree right next to my room so I just grabbed onto the branch and simply climbed down." He stood up straight and looked at me once he was done.

We started walking back to the car and he spoke again..

"I looked at the house and saw fire everywhere, my Dad and brother Ben were screaming, our neighbors were surrounding the place and they told me they already called the fire department but as soon as the fire fighters arrived, the entire house fell to the ground right before my eyes." He went silent and I decided not to say anything.

Cause what do I say to that? Sorry?

We reached the SUV, he opened the passenger door and tossed the backpack inside, closing it then leaning his back against it, he let the little shovel fall on the ground before pulling out a cigarette and a lighter from his pockets.

He lit the cigarette and inhaled, taking his time to release the smoke and when he did, he looked at the ground and sighed.

I didn't like the sound of that sigh, it sounded depressing.

"My mom blamed me." His tone was ice cold, "she said it was my fault they were gone, she said she wished I had died instead of them, she said that-"

He stopped again, looking up at the sky, placing the cigarette between his lips and releasing a puff of smoke, "She said I was dead to her, that I wasn't her son. She probably doesn't remember it since she was drunk as hell but I remember it and it fucked me up really bad."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it." I said.

"I think people are their most honest selves when they're drunk. She meant it and I went astray because of it." He looked at me. "I met a guy named Toby at the cemetery, at first, we just talked about the dead then he taught me how to smoke then he asked if I wanted to learn how to fight." He laughed sarcastically at the memory while shaking his head.

"Me being fifteen, hurting, broken, grieving and a little suicidal, I thought it was the right thing to get my mind off of things so I accepted, not knowing that I was getting myself into even darker shit later."

"What kind of darker shit?"

"Dealing drugs, fighting, shooting at people, the list Is endless. I stole that cocaine because he was planning on selling it to a very important man, I want to see what happens when the man discovers that the box is filled with baby powder and not cocaine." He responded, I didn't say anything, I just bit on my thumb.

"I know, I'm a bad person, you can say it." He said.

"I don't think you're a bad person. There's no such thing as bad people. Just people who sometimes do bad things" I quoted, he looked at me, tapping his thumb on the cigarette bud.

"Who told you that?" He asked, looking a little amused.

"I read it in a novel." I pointed out, feeling so proud of myself.

"Do you always remember things you read in novels?" He asked.

"Not everything, just the sensible things. I like using those in life situations." I lied, I totally remembered every detail I read in novels. He just nodded his head.

"So if you don't think I'm a bad person then what do you think of me?"

Okay so we were doing this. What did I think of him? Nothing. nothing bothered me, nothing made me change my mind about how I felt about him.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Adrian, it's up to you to turn those mistakes into lessons. I don't think it was your fault that your brother and Dad died that day and I don't think you're a bad person. You were fifteen, you just needed someone's help and you thought this Toby guy was helping you." I shrugged.

There was that silence again, only this time it wasn't awkward, it was him trying to understand why everything didn't bother me or why I was so naive.

He tossed the cigarette on the ground, reached for my hand and pulled me into his arms. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him.

"This doesn't mean that I forgive you, I've just been waiting for someone to say those words to me and you looked like you needed a hug." He breathed on my neck, I smiled at his words. "And from now on you're gonna be quoting things to me everyday like that Android Alexa but in human form." He said and I laughed.

He pulled away and stared down at me, drinking me in, all of me.

I wanted him to kiss me.

"Goddamn it." He raffled his hair and looked away from me.

"What?"

"I can't go three seconds without thinking about kissing you." He opened the backseat door and sat down, keeping the door open.

"My turn then?"

"Yeah, and don't even think about giving me that I thought he was you bullshit. Honesty." He said.

I sighed.

Honesty then.