Evie's birthday is in a months time and we've started preparations. Kel and I are okay now, we've resumed back at the office and he's really concentrating on his business and still having time for us.

We just got back from work and I was really tired. Evie ran to greet us and keep carried her up twirling her around. I was do grateful for this moment, thankful that we were all together.

"Mr and Mrs Adrios, dinner is ready." The chef announced.

"We'd be down in a few." He replied.

Kel had hired helps knowing that I couldn't really handle everything on my own. We went upstairs to freshen up and came down to eat. After dinner we talked about page for Evie's birthday. She said she wanted a princess themed party, she listed a lot of magical things she wanted and didn't get that she was only watching cartoons. Kel promised her that he'd make it happen. We talked for a while and we went to our room. Kel and I slept in the same room now, things between us has been good, there has been a lot of kisses and make out sessions. We haven't done anything major, I wasn't ready. Kel and I were laying in bed, I had my head on his chest and his hands around my waist.

"I want to hear how you have birth to Evie, everything I missed." Kel pleaded. I saw it in his eyes that he still regretted not being there.

"It's a long story Kel." I replied.

"I've got time all the time in the world to listen " he said taking my hand.

" Okay I went into labour in the evening between six and seven. It was really painful. I didn't get to the hospital early and when I did it was worse. I couldn't push out the baby and so I did cs. I thought I told going to loose her, I thought I was going to loose her Kel. I lost too much blood after that and I was unconscious for a while. There were several complications during the pregnancy and the doctor told me that my womb couldn't house a baby, that it'd be difficult for me to get pregnant and if I did I wouldn't be able to survive it." I was nearly in tears recalling the events.

"I'm so sorry Shayan." I could hear the pain in his voice and when I looked up at him, he was nearly in tears too. "I messed up big time didn't I?"

He did but I wasn't going to tell him that, the guilt was already eating him too much and besides there's nothing that he'd have been able to do.

"It's okay Kel." I said and he engulfed me in a hug.

"How was she like?" He asked.

"Beautiful. She had your hair and eyes just like I thought she would, it was as if she didn't take after me at all, I was slightly jealous." I paused as he chuckled.

"There was also the birthmark under her feet." I smiled reminiscing that moment. "She was so tiny and really cute."

"I'd have liked to see that." He said sadly

"I have an album, I tried capturing all her first, I kept them for you."

"I'd love to see that." He said letting out a small smile.

"We'd have to come out about Evie being ours soon. We've for a lot of interviews lined up. Do you think we should do it before or after her birthday?"

"After." I answered, it'd be better for us all.

I was already imagining the backlash and all the comments people would leave on social media. I just hope it turns out well.

"It'd be fine Shayan, don't worry."

"I hope so." I said cuddling him.

I woke up the next morning to a text on my phone.

I immediately got scared, who could the person be and what exactly did the person know, the first thing that came to my head was our marriage, it would be a disaster if someone knew about it and spilled the beans. It could ruin a lot of things.

"Shayan what's wrong?"Kel asked looking at me worriedly, did I look that scared?

"Nothing." I said smiling a little.

"You would tell me if anything is wrong right?" He asked staring at me not convinced and I nodded.

I felt guilty for lying to him, but I had a feeling that whoever it was wouldn't be pleased with me telling Kel.

We got ready for work and left. We were going over some files when the door opened and in walked Susan.

"Kel baby, you promised to come see me after our last meeting. What's been keeping you away?" She seductively asked walking towards him.

I raised my eyebrows at him looking at both of them. She sat on his laps and he tried pushing her off but she clung to him.

"Get away from me Susan." Kel angrily said pushing her off.

It was then she turned to look at me. "Oh, because your wife is here right? You were the one begging me to come the other day." She said with a wink. "I mean it both ways."

"I said no such thing, get out of my office." The whole thing was making me uneasy.

"So now you want me to leave because she's here right. I know you like what I do to you Kel, you told me no one has pleasured you that way before, not even your wife."

I turned to look at him angrily."I didn't say that, shut the fvck up Susan."

The whole feeling of being betrayed, being cheated on, watching it play out in front of me was sickening.

"Don't deny it because she's here Kel."

Kel called up security but she insisted on staying. "We'd meet at the club same place next time right, just know I'd be waiting for you, just how you like it." She said each word slowly, batting her eyelashes and swirling her tongue.

The security men then carried her. "If she gets into this building again. You all will be fired." Kel threatened angrily.

They nodded and left, now it was just us both.

"The club right?" I angrily asked

"Shayan nothing happened." He countered.

"And you expect me to believe you because?"

"Because I'm telling the truth. I don't know the game she's playing."

"Seriously Kel, I thought you've grown past that."

"I have Shayan. I haven't been with anyone since we made the agreement." He said and I just laughed.

So he's trying to say, he, a sex crazed man has been celibate because of me, that's crazy to believe.

"I don't believe that Kel, don't try fooling me."

"I'm not fooling you here Shayan. There's no one else, just you."

"I don't believe that Kel. I'm not falling for that line again. In fact I'm not falling for anything."

"So you're just going to believe her words over mine?" He angrily asked, he had no right to be. I had every right to.

"Yes. I'm just going to. After all you just believed I cheated on you with Jason, didn't talk to me about it and you just broke up with me in the harshest way but you expect me to believe you because you said so?" I angrily asked.

"Yes because I wouldn't lie to you or keep something massive from you." I knew he was accusing me about not telling him of Evie, he couldn't just throw it in my face as if it was entirely my fault.

"Don't talk like it was entirely my fault, you didn't give me a chance to."

"That understood. Why didn't you tell me before we got married or the first two or three months?" He asked with raised brows.

"Why should I have told you when you wouldn't have believed me. You would have thought she was Jason's and was telling you because I wanted to get something from you or worse still, think I got her from whoring around." I knew I was right, his expression said it all.

"Tongue tied now? What was it you called me, a two timing gold digging slut and cheat."

"Shayan..."

"I'm not even surprised that you cheated. It's what you always do. It's not as if the inexperienced virgin can keep you anyway. After all I was the worst of the worst."

"That's not..."

"Don't worry." I said cutting him off. "I'm not going to be bothered by all of this. You can even take them in the room cause I wouldn't mind."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"Ask yourself that question. In the meantime I'm done. I'm not to let you hurt me again. They say if a person hurts you first it's not your fault but the second time it is. I'm not going to wait for the second time to walk out."

"So you're going to leave me because of that? I didn't sleep with her god damnit." He angrily said.

"I don't know why I find it hard to believe. I thought I had forgiven you or at least I thought I could but it seems like I'm wrong. In as much as I've started feeling, I can't let myself be consumed. I loved you once, we both saw how that turned out. Maybe I've used up all my love for you. I thought I could forgive you or at least try, it turns out that I can't. I still hold a lot against you Kel. Your words, they scarred me for life, I haven't forgotten and very much haven't forgiven and I don't think anything can work out between us so I'm not going to try. I'm done with this." I said taking off the ring placing it on the table.

"Don't do this Shayan, don't make a decision based on your anger." He said standing up towering over me.

"That's not what I'm doing Kel. I'm doing what's best for me and besides I don't have the heart to forgive it love you, you broke it Kel. You broke me and I'm afraid you're going to keep on doing that if I give you the chance to." I said sadly, I really couldn't keep up with this.

"Calm down Shayan. We'd talk about this when you're calm." Kel said taking my hands, he tried convincing me but I wasn't hearing any of it.

"Well I'm calm Adrios. I want out. I can't do this. I can't keep up this facade of our marriage or anything. I just want a simple life Kel, being with you is anything but simple."

"What about Evie?" He couldn't be playing the child game now, I was angry.

"What about her? She knows you're her dad now. I'm not obliged to start with you because of her."

"I didn't do it Shayan. Trust me." Kel said and I laughed sardonically.

"Trust?" I angrily asked. "What're was the trust when you believed I cheated on you with Jason, where the hell was it? Don't ask me of something you're not capable of giving."

"Okay. If walking out is what you want, what you think is best for you then so be it. If being away from me would make you happy then leave. Right now your happiness is all that matters. Just know that I didn't do it and I never meant to hurt you and wouldn't hurt you further. Je t'aime encore, je n'ai jamais arrete de t'aimer."

I had no idea what he said or what it meant. I was angry at how he's letting me go but people say you only let go of what you love, maybe that's what we're doing. I know I'm scared of loving him, I don't want him to hurt me and I don't trust him with my heart just yet. I still haven't forgiven him after those years and I can't love him fully because it's acting as a barrier. I can't seem to let go of what he said, what he did. I still harbour some amount of hatred for him. I never to heal, forget and forgive before I love. It was what's best for me. For the both of us. So I left, I left the office without turning back.

"Mummy, why are you back so early, where's Kel?" Evie asked searching for him around.

"He's still at work." I answered.

"Mrs Adrios, would you like anything?" The nanny asked

"No. Thanks for taking care of Evie, I'd take it up from here."

"Ok ma'am." She said excusing herself.

I carried Evie up to my room and sat her down.

"Why are you back so early?" She asked again. She didn't even let me reply before she asked about the ring.

"I left it with Kel." I replied like or was no big deal.

"So you're no longer getting married to him. Is it because of me?" She sounded like she was about to cry.

"No Evie, it's not because of you." I replied hugging her.

"Then why?" She was crying now."I thought I was going to have a mommy and daddy."

"You have a mom and dad Evie. We're both here for you." I said patting her back.

"Did he hurt you mummy, is that why you're leaving him?"

"It's complicated Evie. You wouldn't understand but if you want to stay with Kel I wouldn't mind."

"I want to come with you."

"I love you Evie." I said hugging her as I let a tear slip. I know I was being unfair to her. I just need to be away from him but I wouldn't mind them hanging out.

"I love you too mummy." She said and I smiled.

"So are we going to leave? Would we come back, would you and him get back together?"

"I don't know Evie but for now we're leaving."

"Where would we go to?" She inquired.

"To my parents. It has been a while, what do you think?"

"I like that" she said smiling and I did too.

I missed my family and friends. I can't believe I stayed away from them because of him. Because of that stupid contract I led to my parents, I'd very much like to tell them the truth. I didn't know whether to leave a note or something. I wasn't planning on leaving with anything since I came with nothing and so I left with only what I had on. I left with nothing down to my phone.

I thought things were going on well with us, I thought we far resolved every issue but it turns out she still hasn't a grudge towards me. I really didn't blame her for that because I know I have said and done some things that can't be forgiven but I was thinking she was willing to try. She just walked out like that v not even giving me a chance to properly defend myself or proof to her that I could do this, we could do this together and be a happy family. Maybe it was good that she left, I'd just have to court her again. Propose to her like I should have. I'd do everything it takes to get her and my daughter back.

I was angry that she just believed Susan just like that but my conscience told me how I had done the same so I had no right to be angry and I know now how she must have felt. I hated how she threw my words at me, I hadn't meant to call her all those things, I wonder if she can ever forget that. I had a lot of apologizing to do, I just hope she takes me back.

Getting home I was half expecting to see her. I went to her room, everything was in place. She didn't take anything with her even her phone. I laid on the bed and sighed, her scene filled the room and it was lovely, I took the sheets bringing it to my nose. She had only been gone for hours but I was missing her already. I had a wild guess that she was with her parents. They'd probably throw me out if I go anywhere near them. I'd just have to plan on how to win her back. I couldn't loose her again.