I planned a trip for us back to Paris because I felt guilty that she didn't get to explore the city when last we came. Now I understand what she meant when she said "You don't know yet, you'd hate me when you do and leave."

I should have asked about it when she said. " You weren't there Kel, you weren't there when we needed you the most."

The night of our date was when I became suspicious when Drake pulled me to talk.

" Dude, you never told me you had a daughter. " he seriously said

" That's because I don't." I replied chuckling.

"Oh." He said looking at me confused. " Who's the little girl then? "

" She's Shayan's sister." I answered and he laughed

" Did she tell you that cause I'd have sworn that she's yours. " I stopped to think. Actually Shayan never told me that Evie was her sister,I assumed that, Jesus, could the speculation be true?

I looked over at Shayan and Evie, Shayan was carrying her stroking her hair and Evie was fast asleep. Her brown hair was in contrast to Shayan's pitch black hair and none of her parent's hair was that color. Her nose and lips reminded me of Tess's when she was younger and there was the birthmark. How did I never connect the dot? Evie is my daughter?

My head was spinning around, obviously Shayan would have told me if she got pregnant and had my child right? She wouldn't do that to me.

We left his place and all I did was think. If Evie was sick then she got pregnant when we were still in highschool, all those years and she never said a word about it. Immediately we got back to NY I did a DNA test. I had carried a strand of her hair when she slept. On the day I was to collect it I was nervous, I didn't know what to do if she was truly mine. I got the result and it showed she was mine. I didn't even know what to feel, was it supposed to be happiness, anger, sadness, pain? It was a mixture of all. I couldn't believe that Shayan kept me in the dark about her. She of all people know how I wanted to be there for my child every step of the way. I didn't want to be like my father that never cared about his kids. I wanted to witness every thing about her while she was growing now I lost all her firsts. I wasn't there in the

labour room to welcome my child to the world, I didn't see her first smile, laugh, crawl, walk, I missed out on her life and it was all Shayan's fault.

I couldn't go home then, I was really furious. I went back to work and tried to do some thing but I could barely focus. Frustrated I went home and Shayan came out to hug me.

"Kel, I was so worried about you". She said and I mentally rolled eye. I didn't put my arms her and she looked up at me with worry.

"Is every thing alright? " she asked and I snapped.

"You tell me. Why would you do that to me, Shayan, why? "I angrily asked.

" What are you talking about kel? "She asked looking confused I can't believe she was playing dumb right now and it annoyed me further.

"When the hell were you planning to tell me that Evie was our daughter? "I angrily asked

The expression on her face would have been laughable if I was in a good mood she was beyond shocked probably trying to figure out how I knew and that's when I threw the DNA test to her face.

'Kel. I. I. I... "She stuttered trying to come up with something to say

"You had a child for me and you never told me about it even when she was under my nose ". I bellowed

"I was going to tell you today".

"Today? Today? After she has be en with me for how many months now? After how many years you were going to tell me today? "I was furious now, was she just realizing that she is my daughter? How could she have kept this from me for so long.

"I'm sorry okay. What did you expect me to do? Tell you the first day we met that you have a daughter? "She angrily asked. Why is she even angry? She should give me a god damn apology.

"Why didn't You tell me immediately you knew? "I angrily asked I was curious to know what stopped her from doing so.

"Well I was going to tell you but then you broke up with me calling me all sort of things. You called me a cheat, slut, gold digger and all sort , why would I tell you about my daughter when you would have doubted it? " She rhetorically asked. I didn't like the way she personalized it saying it was her child, she was ours.

"You should have at least told me for god sake Shayan ". I shouted.

"And You didn't think I tried talking about it to you? anytime I tried talking to you you'd tell me to "fuck off from your life", "I don't want to have anything to do with you don't you fucking get it? ", "Do You know how I felt each time you told me that? You humiliated me in the presence of every one kel".

You could have still told me ". I quitely said

"Through which means huh tell me? You blocked me, I couldn't call or text you. You didn't want me anywhere near you or talking to you, You treated me like a piece of thrash even after that I still tried telling you. Heck, I even went to your house only to see you fucking the almighty Betty, Queen bee Betty and that was when I knew I had tried enough. So when you ask yourself why you weren't part of her life know it because you pushed me out. It's not my fault it's all yours".

What she said made sense. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't have. Carlos had blocked her number from my phone saying she wasn't good enough for me every time I tried calling her. It all started from Carlos, she was right when she said it was my fault because it was. I shouldn't have pushed her out.

"Maybe if you hadn't cheated on me it wouldn't have all happened." I said, I needed to get it all out, I needed the truth.

"I never cheated on you Adrios". She angrily said. Now it's back to Adrios.

"There was proof shayan. You always being with Jason, The pictures and then that morning I caught you both ". I listed.

"You mean that morning you walked in on us sleeping? Nothing happened at all Adrios. How could you even think that? "She angrily asked and in that moment I realized what a fool I've been. I was played by Carlos, he was the one that caused all this and I stupidly fell.

"I'm sorry I thought... "I tried apologizing

"So that was why you broke up with me? "She angrily asked "you thought I cheated on you Adrios? You never even talked to me about it, You just concluded not even trusting me. So that's why we broke up? That's why you humiliated me in front of the whole school, that's why my child grew up without knowing her father.

"Shayan I .." I was very stupid, I just assumed and confirmed my assumptions from Carlos, he was the one who fueled the whole thing and I didn't even talk to her about it because I was so broken by it, I said a lot of hurtful to her I didn't realize how broken she'd be from my words.

"I always wondered why you broke up with me you know, I thought it was because I wasn't good enough, beautiful enough and having you say those things to me demoralized me Kel. I didn't have a high self esteem and you just made me feel lower than I thought. I thought the sex would make you stay. I thought you really loved me." She cried saying.

"Shayan I.." I was going to tell her I really loved her, I couldn't even stop. How would she think she wasn't enough, she was more than enough but instead I said all those things. Her saying all these while crying was really hurting me. I've never liked seeing her cry much less if I was the reason behind it.

"I was so depressed Kel, I couldn't stop thinking about you, what you said and the pregnancy happened. There was even a point when I wanted to commit suicide Kel. Even I was disappointed in myself."

"I'm sorry Shayan. I had no idea, I never meant to hurt you." I sincerely apologised. All these discovery were shocking. I'd never be able to forgive myself if she had committed suicide, if she had lost her life and our daughter's, most especially if it was because of me.

"But in the end you did, my heart was broken beyond repair Kel, you ruined me. Sorry can't even begin to cut it." I can't believe how much I hurt her.

"Does Evie know?" I asked and she shook her head saying she'd tell her tomorrow.

"You shouldn't have kept it from me Shayan. You of all people know how much I wanted to be there for my child, I never wanted my child to feel unwanted and still yet this happens." I said sadly not quite shouting. She was the one I shared all my family story with, she was the one I wanted to build a family with. She knew about all these. I wanted to be there for my child but still yet she does this and I feel like she did it on purpose.

"I'm sorry but it's still your fault." I hate how she said it putting all the blame on me.

"Don't you even feel bad for Evie not getting to know her dad?" I questioned angrily

"Of course I did but I didn't want to tell her anything because I didn't want her hating you." Her point was valid, I grew up hating my father from what my mother told me.

"I'm sorry Shayan, truly I am." I really was but I still felt she had no right to keep my daughter away from me.

"Shayan." I called, I wanted her to say something.

"It's enough Kel, you already know Evie is your daughter. Goodnight." She said heading for the stairs.

"I know I should have been there for you." I started and she just cut me off.

"But you weren't there Kel, you were never there, you chose not to be. You chased me out of your life yet I was still craving you in it."

"Do you think I wouldn't have been there if I knew? Do you think I liked how this turned out?" I angrily asked, why can't she understand that we were both at fault, I liked that she said she was craving me in her life but I hate how she put it.

"You tell me. Do you think I liked getting pregnant at 18 or you think I'm proud of that? Do you think I liked loosing the scholarship and not going to college? Do you think I liked what I went through this past few years." She angrily asked

"I had no idea." I began, how much did she suffer because of me?

"You had no idea of a lot of things Adrios. You have no idea so what I went through. You should be glad that all you get in this whole thing is your daughter not knowing you and you not being there for her. Do you think I liked every odd job I did to survive. I felt like an unnecessary burden to my parents and let's not get started on the labour pain. I nearly lost my life and Evie's and on top of that I can't have another child. Do you think that makes me happy? Do you think I liked how this turned out?" She was crying while talking, like she was reliving the pain, I'd have questioned my human feelings if I hadn't cried then.

I can't believe she went through so much on her own, now she can't even have another child. No wonder she hated me and said I ruined her life. How can I ever make it up to her? I was about to comfort her when I heard Evie.

"You both never wanted me?" Her tiny voice rang out sad. How long was she there?

"Evie, it's not like that." Shayan started.

"Why didn't you tell me that Kel is my daddy" she sadly asked.

"Evie I..."Shayan probably wanted to apologise or defend herself but Evie cut her off.

"You knew since yet you never told me. I kept on asking you." Although she was shouting she was still hurt.

"I'm sorry." Shayan said crying.

"Why would you do that mummy? Now I know I was just a mistake." Hearing her say she was a mistake hurt me badly.

"God, Evie no, you're not a mistake." I told her, she had to understand that.

"You never wanted me, none of you did."she was sobbing now and it was so heartbreaking and I had no idea what to do.

"Evie don't say that." I said pulling her close to me trying to soothe her but she just pushed me away. Another tear slipped, I just got rejected by my daughter.

"Everytime I asked about him you never me and you never told him either." If she understands that, why is she mad at me?

"I didn't know how to." Shayan answered crying. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to.

"You should have just told me." Evie shouted.

"I hate you mommy, both of you." She cried saying going upstairs. I haven't known she was my daughter for long but hearing her say she hates me was disheartening then how would Shayan feel?

"Evie I'm sorry." Shayan cried saying as we followed her upstairs.

"Get away from me." She kept on throwing her toys, teddies at Shayan who was trying to reach out to her and that was when I noticed the teddy bear I gave Shayan when we went out on a date. I can't believe she still kept it and gave to Evie, it warmed my heart a bit.

While Evie was throwing things at Shayan, one of the toys hit her head and blood started oozing out of it. I know it wasn't intentional but I wasn't expecting what she said next." Serves you right." I could imagine the impact of the statement to Shayan.

"Evie calm down, stop throwing things."I cautioned.

"Don't talk to me, you don't have the right to.'' that sentence out right through my heart.

"You can say whatever you want to say to me, throw whatever you want at me, Kel did nothing wrong." Shayan said coming in my defense.

"I thought you loved me mummy, if you did you wouldn't have done this." Evie said sadly.

"Of course Evie, I love you, I'm.."

"Just go." She calmly said and when we did nothing she shouted." Get out of my room."

We left and Shayan sat on the floor outside the door crying.

"All I ever wanted was a family with you Shayan but it seems like you've ruined it." I sadly said.

"Kel I'm..." Like she said sorry can't even begin to cut it, I didn't pay attention to what was said and just entered my room slamming the door.

I never expected today to turn out like it did. I didn't even know what to think, what to do. In as much as I'd like to blame Shayan I couldn't. If I hadn't pushed her out she'd have told me, we'd have gone through it together but now we all are just broken and nothing breaks like a heart. I realized it was hard for her too, me she Evie finding out the way we did, us pushing her out, it wasn't good for her.

Sighing I went to the bathroom and got my first aid kit before going to where Shayan sat crying. How much I hated seeing her in tears. I sat down beside her and it was then she noticed my presence.

"Kel I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."she said crying

"Shh. It's ok."I said hugging her.

"Now you're going to hate me and leave me."

"I don't hate you Shayan, I can never hate you and I'm not going to leave you. Yes I'm really mad at you but not up to the anger I feel for myself. I shouldn't have treated you like that, pushed you out. You don't know how much I'm regretting it. I might be hurt right now and all but like you said it's not a teeny bit up to the one I caused you, I'm so sorry Shayan." I sincerely said hugging her.

"I'm sorry too." She said as I stroked her hair."Do you think we can get past this?" She asked hopefully.

"We will Shayan." I answered and she nodded.

We just stayed like that, we were both sitting on the floor. Her head was on my shoulder while I rested my head on hers and had my hands around her. We said nothing but there was this little ray of hope that all would be okay.