we're in the cafeteria. I'm sandwiched between Neki and James, Parker on the other side of us. They're all talking, but I'm not really in the mood. I'm breaking off pieces of bread and rolling them in to little balls. I'm currently at 32, but I'm aiming for at least 100.

As I reach 54, I see Bela walking towards us. She has a cupcake , cupping her hand around the singular lit candle. Oh for gods sake Isabela.

"Happy birthday to you," she begins to sing as soon as she's close enough.

The boys all look around in confusion, but their eyes land on me once I push my face into my hands.

"Happy birthday dear Elena," my best friend sets the cupcake down in front of me and the flame flickers.

"Happy birthday to you!" she grins.

I force a smile, looking up at her.

"Thank you Bel." I say, before blowing out my candle.

I don't make a wish. I stopped believing in brithday wishes after my 11th birthday, when my mom didn't get better.

"It's your birthday?" Neki turns to me, eyebrows raised.

"Nah bro, Bela just sang it for vibes." James mumbles.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Parker leans forward, his eyebrows pinched from frowning.

I shrug, looking back down at my sandwich. 63 little bread balls. I'm about to make it 64 when I feel Parker's knee press against mine beneath the table. Quickly glancing over at our friends, I bring my eyes back up to his.

"You okay?" he says quietly.

"Yeah." I sigh. "Just tired."

Parker studies my face for a moment, forcing me to look down under the pressure.

"Come on guys." he stands up.

We all look at him.

"Come where?" Bela asks.

"We're going out. It's Kinsley's 18th, we aren't sitting around here."

Everyone stands up, turning to me.

I frown. "We still have 2 periods Parker."

He smiles, nodding in the direction of the door which they are all beginning to walk towards.

"Guys." I blink at the backs of their heads.

They continue to walk.

"Guys?"

They disappear behind the double doors.

I huff, pulling my backpack on and grabbing my apple juice box. I hate it here.

***

Bela laughs as Neki puts the meat straight from the hotpot in to his mouth, hoffing aggressively. James laughs at him and Parker shakes his head.

I draw a little face in the sauce on my plate with my chopstick, tracing the pattern of a heart, then a star. I take a piece of chicken between the two wooden sticks, before placing it in my mouth.

"So, Kinsley," Parker speaks, directing my attention to him. "What do you wanna do after this?"

I twist my mouth, shrugging.

As I notice Parker's face soften, I immediately feel my stomach churn. He's trying to make today fun for me and I'm being a bitch. I let out a breath.

"Maybe a bookstore?" I suggest, pushing noodles into my mouth after.

Parker smiles at me a little, nodding.

"Okay."

About half an hour later, we're walking up Park Street, looking for Fahrenheit 451, arguably one of the best book stores in California. Bel is trailing behind with Neki, James and Parker on either side of me.

"Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday, El?" James asks.

I shrug. "I don't celebrate it."

"Why not?"

"You have them every year until the day you die. It isn't really that special to me." I look at James.

He studies my face, and then he nods.

"Here."

I turn to Parker as he begins to walk into a store. The others say something about waiting outside. As I follow him, I realise it's Fahrenheit. I take a deep breath in as we enter, the smell of books instantly brightening my mood. Walking past Parker, I make my way over to the fiction. I love fiction. It sucks you into a world that's better than yours, and 9 times out of 10 has a good ending.

As I read the back of a book, arms wrap across my shoulders from behind, softly pulling me back into their chest. I quickly recognise the warmth as Parker's, and lean back into the embrace. He rests his chin against the top of my head, sighing.

"We can go home after this if you want." he says into my hair.

I nod. "I'd like that."

"I'm sorry for pushing you to skip school. I just thought you'd rather do something you like."

My heart feels heavy as I turn to him. I feel like an asshole.

"Don't be. It was nice of you, I just hate birthdays." I sigh, smiling a little.

Parker smiles a little, but I can tell he still feels guilty. I hold up the book in my hand.

"At least I'll have this when we get home."

He takes it from me. "I'll buy it."

"No you won't." I frown.

He begins to walk to the till. "It's your birthday."

"It's Tuesday." I say, taking the book from his hand and walking towards the till myself.

I smile at the cashier as she looks at me blankly, and then at Parker. Her eyes linger on him for a little too long and I look down as the I begin to feel the jealousy creep up my neck. Get a grip Elena.

"That'll be $8.99." she says, her eyes flicking to Parker again.

I pull my phone out my back pocket, but before I even get my apple pay on, Parker leans around me, tapping his phone. It makes the little beep sound and I sigh, turning to him.

He looks back at me, grinning. I want to be annoyed, but he looks so pleased with himself. It's adorable.

Parker leans forward, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Happy birthday beautiful." he says softly, tapping my chin before beginning to walk out the store.

My heart flutters and I can't help but smile, despite how much I hate today.

I turn back, picking up the bag with the book in it. The cashier looks at me, studying my face now. I press my lips together, mumbling a quick thank you before following after Parker.

As I leave the store, the first thing I notice is Parker's face. His brows are furrowed, his jaw tense, standing tall. Then I notice the girl in front of him. Her hair is red and curly, framing her face. She's gorgeous. Her two friends are standing slightly behind her, shopping bags in their hands.

I step out of the store and her eyes land on mine as I walk over and join Parker. She squints her eyes as if she's trying to place my face. I see it click.

"You're the girl from that cocktail party." she says slowly, tilting her head to the side.

I frown. I have no idea who she is. She must notice because she laughs.

"How rude of me." she holds out her perfectly manicured hand.

I glance at Parker as he subtly shakes his head no, but I take it in fear of being rude.

"I'm Mackenzie." she says "The girl that spilt her drink on you. Parker's ex girlfriend."

My breath hitches and I instinctively pull my hand back, a little too fast. Mackenzie grins devilishly.

"I see you've heard about me." she looks at Parker. "All good things I hope."

Parker turns to me and takes my wrist in his hand. "Come on."

He begins to guide us past Mackenzie but she steps over, blocking our way.

"Me and your girlfriend are having a conversation, Parker." she frowns.

"Mackenzie, move out the way." Parker sighs, closing his eyes.

I feel his grip tighten on my wrist and I look up at him.

Mackenzie turns to me. "You can speak for yourself." she says almost reassuringly. "We're having a conversation, aren't we?"

I instinctively glance at Parker and her eyebrows raise.

"Oh, so you don't have your own voice?" she pouts.

I open my mouth, closing it again. I don't know what I can say to get her to leave us alone.

She laughs. Although her voice is melodic, her laugh is still bitter.

"I see. So you're just Parker's little bitch." she steps forward and her friends laugh.

I step back a little, but Parker steps between us, leaving me behind him.

"Watch your mouth." he says, his voice low.

For a moment, a split second, I see the fear flash through Mackenzie's eyes, like she didn't expect him to retaliate. But she recovers quickly, grinning again.

"Someone's learnt to speak up for themselves." she raises her brows.

I pull at Parker's arm a little. "Let's just go." I say quietly. Clearly not quiet enough, because she hears me.

"She speaks!" she laughs, throwing her arms up. "Why so soon?"

"Mackenzie fuck off."

I turn around to see Neki, James and Bela walking down the hill toward us and I have to stop myself from sighing in relief.

Mackenzie laughs. "I forgot. He doesn't go anywhere without his little protectors."

"You heard him." James steps forward so he's beside Parker.

She holds up her hands. "Fine, whatever."

Her eyes land on mine again.

"It was nice meeting you." she waves her fingers, turning to Parker. "Bye handsome."

Mackenzie holds eye contact with me as she walks past, laughing with her friends.

I look back at Parker, but he hasn't moved. His hand is still tight around my wrist, clammy and slightly trembling. Moving in front of him, I look at his face. He's looking at the ground, his chest moving irregularly, his throat making little strangled noises, almost as if he's choking.

"Parker?" I whisper.

James moves next to me, studying his face.

"Fuck." he sighs. "Nek come here."

Neki appears on my other side and his face twists in pain. He reaches out, taking Parker's face in his hands and bringing his eyes down to his.

"Hey man, it's okay, you've got it."

I look at Bela, who looks just as confused as I am, if not more.

"Deep breath bro. Fill your lungs." Neki continues.

Parker nods, and although it's visible he's struggling, I see his chest rise. He does it again and I see him begin to relax as he finds the air again. He closes his eyes again, dropping my wrist as he takes another deep breath. Neki slings his arm over his shoulder, saying something to him as they begin to walk in the direction of the car.

I turn to James, and he must see the confusion on my face. He gestures his head and we begin to walk after them.

"Mackenzie has always been able to get under his skin. She's a bitch." he explains.

"She manipulated him, gaslighted him throughout their whole relationship." he turns to me. "I'm sure he's told you."

I nod.

James sighs, looking forward at his friends. "The emotions he feels when he interacts with her overwhelms him. Gives him anxiety attacks sometimes."

I look forward at Parker as he walks, his hands latched behind his head an Neki talks to him.

"She's a bitch." Bela says after a moment.

"Yeah." James breathes.

My heart aches. I think about the look on Parker's face. I think about how I was physically unable to stick up for him. Or myself. I'm pathetic.

"I'll drive." Neki says as we reach the car, getting into the front seat. Parker gets into the passenger and Bela, James and I cram into the back.

The drive back to the school car park is silent, the only sound being the radio playing softly. We reach the car park and everyone files out.

James and Neki both hug Parker, saying goodbye to us before returning to their cars.

For the first time since earlier, Parker turns to me.

"Need a ride?"

I glance at Bela and smiles, understanding that I'm asking. "Of course. See you tomorrow El."

I turn back to Parker as she walks over to her car, getting in.

"Okay."