setting by the time I push my key into the front door of the Ashford home. I went to Bela's after school, mainly so I could avoid him. I don't know why I asked. I knew I wouldn't get the answer I wanted. He's just bored. And I'm convenient.

I push the door open and have to restrain myself from physically groaning. Parker is on the couch, laying back on his phone. I click the door shut and he looks over, sitting up when he sees me.

"Elena."

"I can't Parker." I say, making a bee-line for the stairs.

"Elena wait, please."

I stop, closing me eyes and letting out a breath. Dropping my bag at the stairs, I turn, walking over and sitting on the arm of the couch beside the one he's on. He takes a deep breath in through his nose, out through his mouth, before bringing his eyes to mine.

"You don't have to explain yourself." I shrug, beginning to get up.

"Sit down, Elena." he says, his voice stern with seriousness.

I listen.

"Two years ago, I was in a relationship. It was an infatuation. Lust, whatever you wanna call it. It was nothing more than that."

I frown, unsure where this story is going.

"But it was more than that for her. She was in love with me. Obsessed, if you will. It was unhealthy." he runs a hand through his hair. "She'd become hysterical if I so much as looked at another girl. She'd show up to my house uninvited. It was so tiring."

Keeping my eyes on his, I slide down on to the seat, listening.

"After a year I broke up with her. It didn't stop, it only made things worse. She would sit in her car outside my house at stupid hours, waiting for me. She would harass my friends."

He lets out a breath.

"So one day I agreed to speak with her. I got in her car, and we drove around town. I told her she needed to stop. She apologised. And then she asked if we could get back together. Of course I said no. But that wasn't the answer she wanted."

Parker brings his eyes up to mine. They're dark.

"She began screaming at me, taking her attention off the road. She drove us into a tree. She wrecked her car and almost killed us both."

My breath hitches and I feel my eyes brim with tears.

"I had to get 142 stitches total. I broke my arm and 3 of my ribs. I couldn't do a lot of things on my own. I couldn't play sports, I couldn't do the things I loved. The physical damage sucked, but it was nothing in comparison to what it did to my mental well-being."

Parker reaches forward, brushing the tear from my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"I can't let myself fall in love Elena. It's not worth it." he breathes, pressing his forehead against mine.

"I would never do that to you." I whisper.

"You're not the one I'm worried about."

I look up, confused.

"It's not infatuation that I feel for you. It's something more. Deeper. It consumes me Elena. You consume me." he plants a kiss on my forehead. "I can't let myself love that hard. The same way Mackenzie loved me. Love changes people. I don't want to become her."

Even though I can feel my heart breaking, I nod, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I need to stay away from you, Elena Kinsley."

I sigh, leaning back. "I guess we should stay away from each other then."

Parker looks between my eyes. He brings his hand to my face and I soften at his touch. He leans forward, and he kisses me. A soft, tender kiss that makes my heart ache.

He pulls away. "Friends?"

I smile sadly as I nod, even though every fibre in my body is crumbling.

"Elena?"

I turn to see Jackson stood at the top of the stairs. I wipe my face with my hand quickly, smiling at him.

"Hey Jack."

He looks a little concerned, and when I remember what he told me about his mom it makes my chest hurt.

"Can you play with me?" he asks.

I'm in no mood from playing right now, but I push myself to my feet with a heavy heart. Parker takes my wrist in his hand and I turn back, looking at him. His smile is just as sad as mine.

"I'll play with you Jay." he gets to his feet, walking past me and up the stairs.

Jackson looks just as happy, but I still see him glance at me before he and his brother walk in the direction of the playroom.

I feel the tears start to spill again. I'm not sure if I'm crying because of what Parker went through, or because it means he's not willing to like me the way I want him to. My head hurts so much that I don't even notice when the front door opens again.

"Elena?"

I look up to see Mrs Ashford, looking over at me in concern. She walks around the couch to sit next to me.

"Are you okay dear?" she wraps her arm around me, rubbing my arm.

I shake my head no, scared that if I speak I won't be able to stop crying.

"Parker told you, didn't he?" she says softly.

I look at her, and her face is sad.

"He went through a lot, and he was only young. It wasn't long ago. The wounds are still so fresh, Elena."

I nod.

"But he cares for you, more than I've ever seen him care for anyone. He's a good boy. He just needs time to heal." Margot soothes the pain in my heart with her words.

I lean my head against her shoulder, craving the comfort from a parent that I haven't had in years. It's so warm, I almost start crying again.

"If anyone were to fix his heart, it would be you, Elena."

***

It's almost midnight, but I can't sleep. I'm exhausted, but my body just won't let me fall asleep. I want to go see Parker, for him to hold me in his arms, but I can't. I need to stay away from him, because I'm so scared that I'm falling for him in a way he doesn't want me to.

I check the clock. It's 11:59. I watch as the big hand ticks.

5, 4, 3, 2...

"Happy birthday to me." I sigh.

I roll over, attempting to close my eyes for what feels like the thousandth time tonight when my phone rings. Groaning, I grab it, swiping answer and bringing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I mumble, my eyes still closed.

"Happy birthday kiddo."

My eyes open. It's my father.

"Thanks, Dad." I sit up.

I've been ignoring my dad's calls for the past couple weeks since I moved into the Ashford house.

He sighs. "I'm sorry kid. It was unfair of me to tell you what to do when I'm not even there for you myself."

I don't say anything.

"Do you have anything nice planned?" he changes the subject.

I shrug even though he can't see me. "School. I might look for a job since Jack's gone back to school now too."

"On your birthday?" I can hear the sadness in his voice. "What about plans with your friends?"

"Nope." I repeat. That would involve telling them.

He's silent for a moment, before he sighs.

"Okay kid, I'll call you later, okay?"

"Bye Dad."

I hang up, dropping my phone on to my pillow as I roll over again, closing my eyes once more. Twentieth times a charm I guess.