I always hated this conversation. Unfortunately, it was one I had found myself in many times before. Women had always been interested in me, had always vied for my attentions, and so from time to time, when one of them got too close or too hopeful, necessity would dictate that I let them down gently so as not to string them along when there was truly no hope of anything occurring between us. But this talk, telling them to their face, watching the hope and the excitement drain from their expression in a single instant, it always made me sick with myself despite the pain I knew I was sparing them. But as difficult as this conversation was, I'd learned first hand the consequences of not having it and I did not seek to experience that again.

"Emily," I said now as the girl walked alongside me, smiling more in the morning sun than I'd ever seen her do before. That would make this particularly difficult. "You know I think the world of you-"

"You do?" She turned to me, eyes wide and hopeful, staring into my own with an awe that made dread coil in the pit of my stomach.

"I- of course. You're a lovely girl, it's just that I-" I stuttered. Her smile was already starting to dim and I became distracted by the sight of her sister storming from the house in pursuit of Benthem. "Well, I don't think that we are romantically matched."

"Oh."

I couldn't remove my eyes from Ella who was now climbing into the carriage with Benthem.

"Oh," Emily said again and I looked over to find she had followed my gaze and was watching her sister as well, eyes narrowed into a fierce glare. Oh no. That wasn't my intention either.

"Truly, I'm no match for anyone," I told her then, trying to steer the blame away from her sister though I couldn't truthfully say that Ella wasn't perhaps a part of my decision to have this conversation sooner rather than later, "Romantically."

"Romantically," she repeated, cocking her head to the side and studying me. "You keep saying that. What other way is there?"

"Well, friends, I hope. Perhaps you and I could be... friends."

"You want to be friends," she restated, slowly as if in disbelief, as if she thought this some sort of trick, "with me."

"Why not?"

She took a breath, narrowing her eyes at me in further suspicion.

"Emily, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" I started but I got no farther.

"It is I who should be sorry," she interrupted. "I don't think I was ever truly interested in you. But everyone else was and I've always been far too competitive with my sister so-"

"Wait. What do you mean 'far too competitive' with Ella?" I asked, heart soaring at the very mention of her name in a horribly embarrassing way. I desperately needed Emily to answer my question. Did she mean she had to compete for me because Ella was interested in me or because I was interested in her? And how did she know? Had she and Ella spoken of me? And why did I want to know all of this so badly?

Emily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Now that she did not have to impress me, her sour nature was back and she just stared at me indifferently for a moment before speaking in a way that showed her annoyance clearly in every aspect of her tone.

"The two of you are unbelievable, you know," she muttered. "Thinking no one else notices. I see the way you watch her. I sit in the corners at these wretched balls, remember? I have nothing else to do but watch the people around me. The moment she enters the room, you change. And she does the same when she sees you. Elijah is a fool for not noticing and my mother is far too concerned with the safety net Thomas Abney. Those other women are too lost in their own hope you'll notice them and the men barely notice a girl without a debut. But I've noticed. And so has Madison."

I blinked at her for a moment, wondering if I was hearing her properly. Had we been so obvious? Had I truly been drooling after Ella Harrington like a dog who sees a bone?

"Then why have you been-" I started but she interrupted, already knowing what I was going to ask.

"I want my mother off of my back just as badly as Ella wants her independence. We aren't so different, you know. Only, Ella knows how to go after what she wants and she usually gets it. That is, until you. I've never seen her so afraid to reach out and take what's hers."

"I-I'm not-"

"Not hers, no. Not yet," Emily shrugged and started to walk away. "But you would be."

I stared after her as she left me alone in the gardens with nothing but my thoughts and her final words. She made her way back to the house unattended as Benthem and Ella's carriage drove away for town. I stared after it for a moment, mind racing with the wisdom the middle Harrington sibling had just imparted me with.

There was too much to digest. If Ella wanted me as badly as Emily said, why was she being so cold and distant? Was she truly afraid of wanting me as her sister had posited? Why was this consuming my thoughts entirely? Why had Ella Harrington and her frustrating behavior become all I could ever think about in my waking hours and even during my sleeping ones?

I spun on my heel and marched from the garden without any real direction, just wanting to get away from standing amongst the blooms like a besotted fool.

I met Elijah in the foyer on my way inside and blurted before I could think better of it, "I spoke to Emily."

He paused, raising his chin and looking me over as if he could see how that conversation had gone from the expression on my face.

"And?" He asked.

"She took it well enough," I told him with a shrug. "I could use a drink though."

Elijah smiled kindly and stepped forward, patting me on the back and leading me back toward the door I'd just entered from.

"Benthem is in town," he told me with the closest thing to a mischievous grin that I'd seen on Elijah Harrington's face thus far. "How would you like to take an evening off of trying to find a wife and spend it at the gentlemen's club with us instead?"

It was a perfect diversion, the precise solution I was in need of at present. I could hardly contain my eagerness as I nodded back and we left the home once again, this time in search of a carriage.

Less than an hour later saw us settled into a corner booth at the local gentlemen's club, smoking cigars and drinking the finest brandy I'd come across in the country so far, waiting for Benthem after sending one of the servants off to fetch him. I gazed around at the men of nobility passing the time by playing cards or smoking and drinking, laughing heartily and slapping each other on the back, telling bawdy tales loud enough for anyone passing to hear in the way they would never dare to do in the presence of a female. Though I imagined Ella Harrington could put each of them in their places with hardly a word likewise. The thought had me smiling, so distracted, I didn't notice Benthem's arrival until he slapped me on the back and slid into the booth next to Elijah.

"Apologies for my tardiness, boys," Benthem announced, eyes sparkling with excited mischief as he settled in, taking a cigar from Elijah and raising a hand for a glass of brandy. "I had to make sure Ella had a carriage back to the estate before I could join you."

Just her name had my eyes snapping in my friend's direction.

"Ella?" Elijah asked, taking a sip of his brandy. "I didn't know she'd come into town with you. What was she after?"

"Visiting the dressmaker, it seems," Benthem answered with a wave of his hand and I nodded, turning away, but Elijah seemed perplexed for some reason, as if a young woman of means visiting a dressmaker was anything out of the ordinary. "Regardless, I'm here now and thrilled we've finally gotten the chance to introduce Victor to the idle entertainment of the gentlemen's club."

"Idle, is it?" Elijah snorted. "I don't recall you thinking it was so idle when James Redmond took you for half your worth in poker last time."

Benthem frowned as Elijah burst out laughing and I raised a brow.

"A betting man?" I questioned, interested in this new tidbit of information about my dear friend.

"Among other things," Benthem replied with a shrug. "But I won't be a betting man tonight. Madison would kill me if I lost that kind of money again."

"I highly doubt that," Elijah replied with a raised brow of his own. "That woman is enchanted by you even if it is to her own detriment."

"Which it isn't," Benthem answered with a smile of smug satisfaction. "I can assure you that my wife is quite well taken care of. In all the ways that matter."

Elijah choked on his brandy before barking out a laugh. I chuckled along as well.

"Someone sounds confident," I muttered into my glass and Benthem's jovial gaze shot to me.

"Would you care to ask her?"

"I would not," I said. "I'd be too afraid she'd answer."

The other men started laughing loudly at that and I smiled into my glass as I took another sip.

"You lot can't say much about it, you know," Benthem mused as he set his own glass down. "Single as you are. You wouldn't know what it was like to keep a woman happy."

Elijah and I looked at each other, raising our brows in disbelief.

"I've seen you around women," Benthem spoke up again, holding his glass in gesture toward me before turning his attention to Elijah. "And even your own mother, obsessed with marriage as she is, has given up trying to get you settled."

Elijah held up his hands in mock surrender as I turned my wide eyes to him.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "Elijah Harrington prefers the bachelor lifestyle?"

"For the time being," he answered.

"Well then. You'll have to come visit Northumberland sometime to see how a true bachelor lives."

"For now," Benthem scoffed into his glass and I turned back to face him. "Come on. You said yourself you're here in search of a wife."

"Benthem," I said, my voice low in warning.

"Weren't you serious about that?" Benthem asked with a frown, setting down his glass as if considering for the first time that I may have told the Countess what she wanted to hear in that moment to halt her questioning.

"It's..." I glanced at Elijah who seemed suddenly very interested in his drink, "complicated. You know that."

"Because of that whole mess with your uncle? I thought that was settled."

Was it? I opened my mouth to respond, though I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I never got the chance. When I leaned back from the table, a woman I hadn't seen standing near us slid herself onto my lap. I stared at her, jaw open and eyes blinking in surprise as she leaned against my chest, running a finger along the collar of my shirt. Elijah snorted into his glass. Benthem just smiled.

"Um, excuse me. Who-"

"You lookin' for some company tonight, Sir?" She asked in a nasally voice that was quite in contrast to her attractive form. Oh. Benthem was snorting too now.

"I, er- no. Thank you," I stammered and she pushed out her bottom lip in a pout as she leaned her head back and let her dark waves fall over my forearm. Then she looked up at me from underneath long eyelashes.

She was pretty. A man couldn't deny that. Her dark hair was rich and luxurious but it had nothing against Ella's light auburn waves. Her eyes were dark, alluring but they weren't bright with that intellectual ferocity that the youngest Harrington's had. And though she had her curves, I did not forget myself in the staring at them like I'd done before with someone else in particular. She was fine. But she wasn't Ella. I muttered a curse and then stood abruptly so that she had no choice but to slide from my lap and separate from me.

I ran a hand through my hair and snapped, "Bathroom?"

Benthem hesitated before raising a hand and pointing. I shot off in the direction he'd motioned without taking the time to locate it by sight. I found it easily enough, pushing my way inside and feeling my cheeks flame with embarrassment the way they hadn't done since I was an adolescent. Foolish. This was foolish.

I splashed some water on my face and then heard the door open behind me.

"We should have warned you," Elijah said, sorrowfully, as he entered. "Sometimes the working girls come by the club. They're the only women they let in."

"You know, if you'd wanted to partake..." Benthem started and I whirled on him. He thought that was the reason for my embarrassment? I shook my head vehemently.

"No," I told them flatly. They exchanged a glance and, when they looked back at me, I didn't care for the wide eyed expressions on their faces.

"Good Lord, it worked," Benthem said, his voice full of awe. I furrowed my brow in confusion as I peered back at them.

"What do you mean-"

"You found someone," Elijah finished, stepping forward. I shook my head again.

"No. I haven't. I-"

"Why else run off like that? If you didn't want her, you would have just said so politely, maybe even cheekily. No," Benthem concluded, shaking a finger at me. "It's guilt that makes a man run from another woman like that."

"Who is she?" Elijah asked. I looked at him, almost pitying. What would he say if he knew?

"He won't tell you," another voice spoke then and we all froze, exchanging glances with one another before turning slowly to the man making his way out of one of the stalls set against the opposite wall.

"Uncle," I growled as he approached the counter we all stood in front of.

"He won't tell you who," Edward continued as if I hadn't spoken at all. "But he's in love. I'm sure of it. Never seen him look like that before. Not even with-"

"Are you following me?"

He finally looked at me then. Only for a moment before shaking his head.

"I told you. I'll be staying in this wretched town until you agree to speak with me," he replied. "Heard this was the best place around here for bourbon and whores. Didn't think I'd find my nephew among them. Or maybe it's one of the harlots' got your heart all aquiver."

I lunged for him but Benthem and Elijah had anticipated the move and leapt forward to hold me back. I narrowed my gaze as Edward raised his hands in jest and backed out of the bathroom.

"Alright," Benthem said once he had gone and they had released me. He straightened his lapel and reached out for me. "Alright. Let's get back to-"

"No. I'm going back to the estate. I have work to do."