Ariya

I held the envelope between my fingers, feeling the sweat arise in my palms.

"I just, I couldn't do it alone." I turned to him, glancing at him from the edge of his bed.

"It's now or never." He shrugged.

Khyson got into Brown, which is in Rhode Island. He got in on a sports scholarship but still decided to major in business.

"I'm afraid, I don't want us to spend these months dreading the end." I spoke sadly.

"What if we won't?"

"Can you do it, please?" I handed him the envelope, my hands shaking at the contact. I watched him eyeing my shaky limbs with a sympathetic smile before nodding.

"Yeah."

He ripped the corner open before sliding his finger through the top as the paper ripped. Using his fingers to pull the piece of paper out.

He unfolded the paper, his eyes scanning over the printed ink.

I bit my lip, looking down into my lap while squinting my eyes.

"Ariya." I could tell from his voice what the answer was.

I looked up, my neck seeming so suddenly heavy.

"Congrats." Was all he said before handing the paper back to me.

I forcefully grabbed it.

Ariya

Dear Ariya,

Congratulations, and welcome to the University of California, Berkeley.

"I can always visit on weekends." He brought up the thought we'd both been ignoring.

"We'll be on the other ends of the country Khyson." I shook my head, folding the letter and placing it back inside the envelope.

"I don't want us to be like that, I thought we promised we wouldn't?" His voice made his question almost sound like a plea.

"Those friends who loose contact after Highschool, who never talk again." He stated, keeping his eyes locked with mine.

"You know I don't wanna be like that, but we can't avoid it. You're doing your thing and I'm doing mine, it's the price we'll have to pay." I honestly told him. My head fell, but not by instinct. I dropped my head to hide, hide my weakness. I hated being sad around Khyson, although I found him being the most comfortable person to be sad around.

"Don't cry, please don't cry, Ariya." His words were soft, sending vibrations through the air. He attempted to speak in the most delicate way possible, almost as if he spoke any louder I would break.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to speak again.

It was late, we always hung out when it was late. I always either had to care for my brothers, or Khyson had to work, or he had a game, or some other crappy excuse.

Going away was a big step for me, I had to figure out legal living arrangements for Zion, Mikah and Jordan. Conjure up the money to actually go and that was if I even got accepted.

I obviously thought about staying, but something in me longed for more than just what was here. I wanted to do something, make a name for myself.

I felt his large hands grip my waist and pull me on top of him, straddling him in a way where I could bury my head into his white tee. He cradled my head in his hands, stroking my hair. My head bobbed with every sniff, gasp and hitched breath.

I pressed myself against him, trying to grasp his presence while I could.

The pit in my stomach ached me, ached me so god damn bad.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, fiddling my thumbs over the peach fuzz on the back of his neck.

He guided my chin up, lifting my head up to face his. I sniffed back, blinking my eyes to get rid of the initial tears.

"Promise me this?" He asked.

I nodded, pressing my cheek to his shirt to dry my damp cheeks.

"Mhm." I nodded.

His hand slid down my hair, smoothing the baby hairs down. He gazed down at me with pure sorrow and astonishment.

"No more tears after this, these months are gonna be happy, okay. Please, please." He begged. I could sense the pain in his voice, all he wanted was for us to spend these last months happy.

"Okay." I was able to choke out.

He rested his back against the headboard, widening his legs for me to shimmy between. I rested my cheek on his chest, hearing his heartbeat as it sent vibrations throughout my body.

"Can we just like.. stay like this?" I spoke.

I didn't need to hear his response, I felt his arm extend outwards and pull the string on the lamp before the complete darkness engulfed us.

He stroked my hair until he fell asleep. I listened to his uneven breaths before falling deep into slumber myself.

"Hi."

"Hey." I opened the door wider to let him in as he sat on a chair at the table. I took my time closing the deadbolts until turning around.

"I'm sorry." I blurted, sitting in the chair across from him.

He took his shoes off but kept on his jacket.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry for making you feel the way you did, I should've known."

"I should've told you, you wouldn't have known. I'm sorry, for acting the way I did, I was irresponsible and should've been thinking. I'm sorry for what I put Rylan through, for what I put.. you through."

He shook his head in embarrassment before pinching the bridge of his nose with a wince.

"I shouldn't have read your diary either, that was your property and the stuff in there is not my business to share."

"How do I know I can trust you?" I quickly replied to his words. Bringing my head up to look at him, lock eyes with him for first time in weeks. The last time I looked into those eyes they were filled with pure hurt and pain, now wasn't that different.

"I'm not the one who slept with my boss while I was in a relationship." He mumbled.

I winched at his words, dropping my head unable to look at him. I knew he knew his words hurt me.

"I'm sorry-"

"No.. you're right."

"I won't say anything.. to Khyson. It was your business not mine, so it's not mine to tell." I nodded.

I didn't know how much I could trust him, but I knew William well enough to know he was amazing at keeping secrets, and apparently so was I.

"Thank you.. William." I nodded.

I watched his eyes work, not knowing what to say. I sat there waiting? Seemingly both of us.

"I still love you... Y'know. Not matter how hard I don't wanna."

I couldn't deny that. The time William and I spent together was a happiness I've never felt before. He was an amazing boyfriend and was there when I needed him.

"I will too." I whispered.

"Could I say bye to Rylan?" He asked.

They loved each other so much, Rylan always begged me to bring William over for sleepovers. I feel like my brain makes it feel like these moments were ages ago, but in reality just a couple months.

"He's sleeping." I said, drumming my fingers against the wooden table.

He stood up while making his way down the hall. I stood up abruptly and followed near behind him with furrowed brows.

"William-" I whispered.

He walked into Rylans room and sat in the chair by his bed. I leaned on the doorframe, watching him admire Rylan.

"He's growing up so fast." He whispered.

"Yeah." I chuckled nervously.

"How's his asthma?"

"It's.. there." I eyed his cheek while he kept his gaze on Rylan's sleeping body.

"Even though we're not.. I can still be here, Ariya. I know Rylan needs his prescription a-"

"Why are you being so nice?" I asked softly.

His lips closed and he stared back at me, sighing. I crossed my arms in challenge.

He stood up before coming out with me in the hall, making sure to not wake Rylan.

"We've had our arguments, but that doesn't mean I don't still care for Rylan."

"Why do you care? I feel as if you should hate me, William. I've done nothing but break us apart and I feel terrible. I thought you'd come here angry, I deserve that at least. I deserve something for what I've done to you-" I rambled on.

"You always loved him." He looked down at his white socks.

"What?"

"The mystery man from Highschool.. Rylans deadbeat father."

He had connected the dots.

"Then why push?"

"I thought.. maybe I could make you love me more." He shrugged. I watched the thought slowly decimate within him before his shoulders fell.

"He always had your heart, and you always had his."

I bit my lip, feeling the skin cut open. Looking up at him with regret, regret and sorrow. He didn't deserve it.

"When he came that night, with you was when I knew. They way he had Rylan in his arms, the way your eyes drifted to his for security."

I somehow realized his words.

"I'm ok with it, that's the last guy I'd want to be, the shitty boyfriend who kept you from the love of your life." His smile was small, the corner of his lip raising.

His body left my sight before he pushed Rylans door open, coming down and kissing Rylans head. He took a few seconds to gaze down at him smiling before running a gentle hand through his hair. He mumbled something before coming back up to me.

He then made his way out, softly closing the door and walking to the door of the apartment.

"William." I hadn't realized my voice was cracking and one single tear stained my cheek as I followed him.

Placing his hand on the knob before turning to face me.

He let go of the knob and took my two hands in his. Running his thumbs over my dry knuckles.

I watched his eyes pool red, he looked at his shoes in pain. I unlocked my hand from his and tilted his head upwards. His hand quickly found mine again.

The surface tension broke and I tentatively watched the tears fall down his stubble laced cheeks. He chuckled before wiping his cheek with his elbow.

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too, William." I chuckled, sniffing back the tears. I glanced up in disbelief at my tears.

"Isn't it strange?" He spoke softly.

"Hm?" I asked, squeezing his hands.

"Life."

"Definitely."

I brought my hands up his arms and locked them around his torso, pressing my cheek against his sweater.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what?" I felt his hands stroking through my hair. It didn't feel wrong, it felt.. ok.

"Being.. you. I loved it, I loved us."

"I loved us too."

I pulled my head away and dragged my palms over my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

We both chuckled softly before he took one step back.

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Ariya."

"You too."

He reached his hand out and I took the handshake.

Our hands seemed to once fit together perfectly, once, but now, he just felt like a friend. I shook his hand with a straight back before we both nodded.

"Goodbye, Ariya."

"Bye, William."

He turned around, gripped the handle, swung the door open and stepped outside. I peeked my head out the door and watched him walk into the elevator.

He turned around to face me, I waved my hand and he waved back just before the doors closed him in.

I took a deep breath out before locking the door.