Karma's a bitch

Ariya

Incoming call from: William

I shook my head before turning my phone upside down on my desk.

"He's still calling?" Khyson asked.

"He came by last night, I didn't open the door but he was banging for a solid ten minutes." I shuffled the papers around on my desk.

"He's been calling down the company line too." He shook his head. I sighed in embarrassment before running a hand over my head.

"I started writing again." I spoke lowly.

"That's good.. to get your mind off things?" I stared into his eyes before looking down. Then back up before waving my hand at him.

"Keep this to yourself please, I just-go get some work done." I cracked him a small smile before he nodded and walked off.

I tried busying myself in work all day, but nothing seemed to take my mind off what had happened only a couple hours ago.

It's just been so unexpected that I don't know how to feel. It seemed so out of place, so terribly mistaken, something I know William would never do.

He's never been a heavy drinker, ever. We've went to many clubs and bars, he's never gotten so drunk. I didn't get it, it didn't make sense. It was all so much.

Just what I needed in my life.

Suddenly my phone began to ring before I picked up the phone and sighed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ariya, it's Vera there's someone down here for you."

Oh gosh.

"Who?"

"William, he says it important."

I have to face him sooner or later.

"I'll be down in a sec." I nodded. Before standing up I rummaged through my purse before pulling out the orange pill bottle.

Twisting the cap off while shaking one into my hand.

Down it went.

I smoothed my skirt down while casually making my way down the elevator and out into the reception area in the lobby.

"Outside, now!" I snapped at him while brushing past him and hoping he'd follow.

I manoeuvred myself through the revolving doors and stood on the curb as he scurried beside me. Wrapping my arms around myself while staring up. Every breath causing a steam cloud to arise from my lips.

"Ariya I'm so sor-"

"No! Cut the crap! Why are you here!?"

"Please don-"

"Why!? Cuz you're hungover!?"

He flinched at my words as I let my eyes drink in his appearance. The bags under his eyes, a stained white tee on his chest with black sweats. He was completely hung over.

"I just want to apologize, it was irresponsible of me.. and-and I'm sorry."

"No, I wanna know what the fuck happened, you don't drink, William. You've been the most

Proper man I've ever dated-where did it come from? Are you going through something you're not telling me?" I pressed on lightly while furrowing my brows and pressing my palms on my arms.

"Ariya, I'm not going through anything."

"Bullshit."

"It's true-"

"Then tell me why.. please-just tell me why you did what you did?" I begged him, my lips beginning to tremble at the thought of his answer.

"Tell me you love me."

"What? What does that have to do with anything?" I raised my hand.

"See! You can't do it!"

"I love you, see!"

"It's not the same, Ariya. It's not the same and you know it."

"So you decided to get drunk while watching my son!? What the fuck?! Leave him out of it!"

"It's not just that, it's just-Ariya don't deny the connection we're losing. It's not the same, I remember when we first started dating, you constantly kissed me, invited me over, we were at it almost every night, now what.. I'm lucky if you ask me to watch, Rylan. You just-just pawn him off to me like he's-hes my son?" He argued, his voice slowly raising with every word.

"Why didn't you tell me, tell me how you felt, communicate? I thought we were at that level of trust, William?" I held his two hands as he winced at my soft words.

"I love you, Ariya. I just feel like I love you more."

"I wish you would've told me, William. I need you to tell me things." I stressed my brows while rubbing my palms over his shoulders.

"Nothing will change." He shrugged.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do-I just.. I think we should separate ourselves for a bit, not forever but a.. break."

My heart burned, I didn't realize how much time I've been spending with Khyson and Amara. I barely see William, it still doesn't give him a right to drink.

"Ok." I sighed with a big breath. If this is what he wanted I couldn't protest it. I nodded.

He leaned down while capturing my head in his palm, slowly stroking my cheek. Leaning down to softly peck my lips, I stood their frozen as he kissed me before pulling back.

"Bye, Ariya."

I couldn't deny the remorse I had, I would never forgive him for what happened but he's still always been a big part of me. He's been my level, the thing keeping me from breaking. He's been my reason, he's been keeping me from looking for Khyson. We've been together for years. I know we didn't break up but it sure as hell felt like it.

I backed up my back against the glass of the building and sighed. I didn't want to cry. I didn't need to. Something about all of this felt so out of place. It all had happened so fast.

"Mind if I leave early, sleep calls?"

"Come on, let's get drunk, Ariya."

"Don't worry, the girl at the liquor store knows me well."

He hid it so well.

This felt so sudden. Like one of those poorly written book with fifty plot holes. I didn't want my life to have all these plot holes. Usually

There's a build up, signs, the readers guess and contemplate. This wasn't supposed to be such a plot twist, it wasn't supposed to have no signs.

Or maybe the signs were there, but I was just too wrapped up in Khyson to know.

William was supposed to be the one.

But did I really get the right to judge him? I've been keeping a lot from him, maybe that's this biting me back. My karma for lying.

My life is too fucked up.

I took a charring deep breath out before wiping my cheeks and smoothing my articles down.

"You alright, Ariya?" Vera asked me.

"I'm fine."

I made my way into the elevator and proceeded to wait for it to make its way up the building. The moment the doors opened I took some long strides into my office and sat down.

Pulling out my notebook.

Dear, non-diary

I feel like.. I feel like.. god I don't even know how I feel. I just broke up with William, my son refuses to detach himself from my leg and Khyson is worried I'm going to throw myself into a pit of my own self pity. Amara and Kameron are out with the stomach flu and know nothing. Things are shit right now, not gonna lie.

I'm starting to think my life is just some shitty book, if it is I want out.. now.

I just don't know what to do non-diary, tell me what to do. I need some advice, some guidance. I don't know it all, I can't do it all.

See now if I were in a book this would be when the main character would pack their bags and go visit their mom. Then their mom would

Proceed to give them eye opening advice and the main character would realize some shit and the story would end with a happy ending.

Non-diary give me a person, give me something to look forward to. Give me a sign, it worked when I said that last time. Three two one go.. go.. go. Damit give me a sign.

Fine, you know what? I hate y-

"Ariya?" I looked up from my notebook and smiled at Khyson.

"Yeah?"

"Could I see you in my office, please?" He tapped his fingers on the door before I nodded and shut the book.

I walked out and into his office, sitting down and smiling.

"Yeah?" I smiled.

"Ariya.. I just.." He sighed while bracing his hands on the edge of his desk and standing up. Walking around to lean on the desk in front of me.

"If you need time off-I'd be glad to give it to you-I get-I get if you n-"

"Im capable of working." I nodded with furrowed brows.

"I can give you a paid leave for a week? If money is the issue it's no problem. Really-it's okay." I could see the remorse in his eyes.

"I'm fine."

"You're not, Ariya."

"I am." I laughed.

"You need to take care of yourself, you can't keep pushing and pushing yourself."

"I'm not pushing myself."

"Ariya, stop."

"Why should I-"

"Look at me! Stop pushing everything away! You're always caring for Rylan, making sure Amara is okay, making sure I'm okay, what about you, Ariya. Are you okay!?"

"No! No I'm not! Okay! I don't know why that's such a big deal!? I don't need a god damn break just let me work!"

I didn't say that, but it would've felt good if I did.

"Yeah, I am okay. I appreciate the thought though."

"A paid vacation is waiting for you, Ariya. Let yourself rest, throw yourself in some sweats and lay in bed.. you need it. I'll even pick up Rylan, make him dinner, you deserve it."

That did sound nice.

Maybe a little break would be nice.

"Sleep on it, let me know tomorrow." He tapped my shoulder before nodding with a reassuring smile.

"Yes." I watched as his head snapped backwards at me. A small smirk creeping up onto his lips. And with my two words he nodded while rubbing his hands together.

"Go."

"What?"

"Go home."