I love you so

Ariya

The past is something everything has, the past can fall on two different sides of the spectrum. There's the happy memories that pass and make you reminisce and nostalgic.

Then the bad ones, that maybe consist of a trauma like a death, or an incident.

Not everyone was lucky enough to have something with them, by their sides.

I had Khyson and yet it felt as if we had never been friends.

But it wasn't supposed to faze me.

It wasn't.

"Thank you for watching Rylan, I know I've been asking for a lot from you these days." I stressed.

"It's no problem just call me before you leave." He nodded. I felt bad for leaving Rylan, I've been going out a lot these days, and since Christmas falls on a Saturday this year I get half day Thursday and Friday off.

Meaning our glorious Christmas party for the office is on Thursday night. Which happened to be today, today was Thursday. Which means I get half day off. Which was a plus, I was just going to sleep until I had to pick up Rylan, very exciting to say the least.

I was getting ready to leave when Kameron walked into my office.

"Hey."

"Hey." I replied with a small smile.

"Anything I need to bring on Saturday?" He asked.

"Alcohol, lots of it." I laughed with a smile as he returned while leaning on the glass frame of the door.

"Alright, well.. I'm exited to meet your brothers."

"Don't be."

"Harsh." I stood up while slinging my coat on and draping my purse over my shoulder.

"Trust me." I patted him on the shoulder and brushed past him.

"See you tonight!" He yelled with a hand waving. I spun around while still travelling backwards on my heels and waved back at him.

I waited for the elevator to open before a tap on my shoulder was felt. I turned my head while seeing Khyson.

"Hi?" I chuckled.

"Give this Rylan." He handed me a box and I grabbed it. I shook my head with furrowed brows.

"No, it's okay, Khyson."

"Just take it." And like that he was gone and I shrugged to myself. What could it probably be?

I took the elevator down to the parking garage and unlocked my car.

The drive home was calming, peaceful, and I had no intent for it to be interrupted. William was at work and Rylan was at school. I had about three hours to myself.

After I got upstairs I unlocked the door and kicked my shoes off.

Wow, I-um-I've never had so much free time.

I hoped in the shower and threw on my comfiest pyjamas. I felt clean and comfy, very cozy. Closing my blackout drapes and getting under the comforter. I pulled it above my head and closed my eyes.

Peace.

Until five loud knocks sounded on my door. I whipped the comforter off my body with a huff.

I knew it had been Amara since any logical person would knock only three consecutive times, unless in another case the person in the residence was away or not opening the door in time then it would make sense to knock another three times. No one consecutively knocks five times in a row, not even rounding it to a four or a six, gosh.

I walked barefoot against the wood and unlocked the deadbolts before opening the door.

"Ariya! Im having a crisis, major crisis! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!" She barged in while jumping onto the couch face forward.

"Shoes."

She pulled her shoes off and threw them my way as they hit the door.

"Peace for me is rare, what is so incredibly important that you had to graciously interrupt my peacefulness?" I crossed my arm with a grin.

"I don't know what to get Kameron for Christmas and I have barely ten hours to throw something together!"

"Don't you work at like a perfume store? Get him a cologne or something."

"First of all its a fragrance both, and second of all I've been getting him the same thing, I promised myself I would switch it up!"

I walked over to the couch and slung my feet off the couch making room for me to sit.

"Kameron's a simple man, I don't know get him a body gel pack?"

"Ask Rylan! He's a guy!"

"He's four."

"Oh my gosh! I'm such a bad girlfriend! What did you get for William?" She asked.

"He's a doctor, doctors don't ask for much since their pay check alone can make them splurge on expensive items, I got him a matching pyjama set and a shower kit."

"Ugh! Wait-what if I got him like a hair kit?"

"A what?"

"He's always wanted to cut his own hair, but he's too lazy to actually get it done, where do you go to get Rylan's hair-"

I crossed my arms and leaned back with my head resting on the couch.

"I grew up cutting and shaving my brothers hair, I do it myself." I shrugged, we'd never had enough money for all four of us so I had to take matters into my own hands.

"That's nice." She smiled.

"Yeah, it's whatever?" I smiled to myself while remembering. Sitting them on the edge of the tub while I cut their hair.

"It's settled! That's what I'm getting-oh! Thank you Ariya!" She squeezed me and I grinned nervously. I nodded and patted her back.

I watched until she pulled back and I wiggled my way out and stood up.

"I have to pick up Rylan in an hour and a half and I just want a little.."

She stared up at me with wide eyes and I grinned.

"Oh! Of course! Sorry, let me get out of your hair!" She stood up and scurried out off my apartment.

I sighed while locking the door and switching the lights off in the living room and kitchen. Walking into my room and getting back under the covers

I let out a dramatic sigh.

Until my phone began to ring.

I huffed out a breath and reached for it.

Incoming call from: Jordan

"Hello?"

"Hey! Ariya, I'm really excited for tomorrow!"

Jordan was one for the simple things, he was almost seventeen and he legally lives alone. I've been to his apartment a couple times, it's small and homey. He works two jobs, he's good off.

"I'm glad." I laughed.

"Is there anything I need to bring? Alcohol? Food?"

"I'm not supposed to encourage underage drinking."

"You think you can cut my hair tomorrow? Since I'm coming, it's been a while."

"Of course, is everything alright? You need anything?" I asked softly.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks though."

"Okay, well can I go continue my nap now?"

"Yes! Sorry, sorry, go." The line went dead and I shit if off, placing it on my side dresser and getting back under my covers.

And then I fell fast asleep.

-

"I love you, please be good for William."

I asked William to come as my date to the Christmas party but he said Christmas parties aren't really his scene and he'd rather spend a quiet night with Rylan.

According to Kameron people at the office don't usually dress up all that much. So I settled for a red dress, it was a little short and paired it with some heels.

"Okay, I love you more." He giggled.

"Not possible!"

"Yes!"

I slipped outside to be met with Kameron and Amara.

"Rylan is so cute." Amara smiled.

"Yeah, he's the most well behaved kid I've ever met." Kameron stated.

"He's.. Rylan." I shrugged.

"Okay, come on."

Kameron got into the drivers seat, Amara in the passengers and me in the back.

"Thanks for letting me tag along, I feel like a third wheel." I chuckled.

"No! It's fine! We love the company! Right Kam..... Right!?"

"Yes! Yes we do."

I hated being a third wheel, I was a third wheel who had a boyfriend.. that's incredibly sad.

After we parked we all walked into the building and got into the elevator, taking it up to our floor and walking in.

"I need a drink." I sighed.

I walked over to the drink table and poured myself a cup. My eyes landed on Khyson, he was chatting with another girl I had seen around the office, I think she worked downstairs.

I felt jealous, I shouldn't, I have a boyfriend. I have a nice, loving boyfriend. A loving boyfriend who's with my son.

His son.

I blew out a long breath and turned my body away from his.

Amara eyed between us and gave me a sympathetic smile.

The music was loud and the bass thumped against the floor.

Amara grabbed my elbow and pulled me to the small area where some people had been dancing.

"Come on, let's dance" I quickly downed my drink and followed her into the small group of people.

Amara held my hands and we danced, danced and danced and swayed our hips. It felt nice, to not worry for a moment. Just to be present, be here right now.

I'm here.

My eyes landed on Khyson who had been staring at me this whole time. My dancing became more calm as I flashed him a sheepish smile, hoping he would look away.

Our eyes became one before he placed his drink down and walked out, rounding the corner into his office.

Did I do something?

Don't let him ruin the night for you, Ariya.

Where did he go?

Stop it.

"Babe? Are you okay?" Amara asked, I turned to her and quickly planted on a fake but impressive enough smile and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back."

What am I doing?

"Okay." She nodded.

This is not a good idea.

I wanted to turn around, I desperately wanted to turn around and act as if I hadn't seen him leave. I didn't want to cause any problems but the ache in my chest wouldn't stop wondering if I didn't act upon it.

Act upon it.

I stood in front of his two double doors and inhaled a deep breath.

Three knocks, I placed exactly three knock on the door.

"I'm busy!" He yelled.

I knew Khyson, I knew him like the back of my hand. And I knew what those two words meant.. he was hurt.

I took matters into my own hand and pushed the two doors open.

"Ms. Kingston, I clearly indicated that I-"

"I would just like to talk, that's all." I raised my hands up and closed the door behind me.

I stood in the middle of the office with my fingers fiddling with the hem of my dress. I watched nervously as he stood up while walking up to me.

"You have five minutes, go."

"I just, I just-" I stuttered.

"Ms. Kingston please don't waste my time."

I couldn't seem to place the words.

"I just wanted to know if I did something that caused you to.. come here?" I sighed.

"Your actions do not affect me, Ms. Kingston."

Please stop, please stop calling me that.

"I just thought-"

"Please get out! Now!" He yelled.

Flinched in his presence and felt my eyes begin to water.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered, my head dropped to the floor as the floor began to blur with my tears.

"Pardon?"

"Please stop, Khyson."

"Ms. Kingston, if this is some sort of joke you are not very amusing."

"How can you just sit here! Sit here and pretend like we never had something! Like we're-we're complete strangers! Why don't you remember!"

"Oh, Ariya." His voice was filled with concern and sorrow.

"I always remembered."