Chapter 48:

A bottle of half-empty pain pills lay strewn across the sheets of the bed, a few orange-coated pills spilling onto the black of the comforter.

I was half laying down, my eyes shut and my breathing slow.

I felt horrible.

The pain was not just in my head but my whole body and I was extremely sensitive to light and sound.

I had to put the TV on mute because it was irritating me so much.

The only think I could think of that was wrong was that I had a migraine- which would not explain why the rest of my body ached and not just my head or I was coming down with the flu or something.

But I didn't feel sick- thank god; I just ached.

I heard a soft knock on my door.

At the thought of just ignoring it I decided not to and just settled with a "Come in."

I sat up, the door opened and to my surprise it was Reaver.

The dream I had immediately came to my mind and I swallowed, my eyes on him as he walked into the room, the door closing behind him.

He greeted me with a smile; a very nice one at that.

"Hi," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"How are you?" He inquired.

Lie or tell the truth?

I decided to go with the truth. "Um, I'm not doing so well."

"Really? What's wrong?" He showed genuine concern which comforted me slightly.

He sat down on the bed next to me.

"I just don't feel good."

His eyes scanned the bottle of pills. "Are you in serious pain or just looking to overdose yourself on pain medication?"

"The first one." I replied.

He put a gentle hand to my forehead and my breath caught in my throat.

"You don't seem to be running a fever; in fact you seem quite cool." He stated, pulling his hand away.

I didn't know what to think of the fact that I wanted him to touch me again.

"So I'm guessing you won't be up to doing much today."

"No, I can do stuff. What do you want me to do?" I replied.

"Well there isn't much to do...the main concern I have is the fact that you're going to make slavery illegal."

I knew this was coming.

"Don't get me wrong; I'm not against it, in fact I think it's a great idea. Vampire's should have equal rights as humans considering they're living here."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded. "I just don't think it's going to go over well with the majority of the population because as far as I know everyone supports slavery."

"Yeah, I know."

"So you're not looking to be very popular with your people, huh?"

"Well I just think it's the right thing to do." I shrugged.

"And I'm saying that it is just that everyone else doesn't think it is."

"And I'm saying I know that."

He smiled faintly. "Very well and once the vampires are released from their current enslavement you plan on having them be just as normal civilians?"

I nodded.

"What if...not to say this will happen but what if by doing that the country's state worsens? Are you prepared for the outcome?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well the vampires are slaves for reasons; who's to say they won't kill people? They do feed off of blood and they did kill people before they were enslaved."

"But that was because we weren't treating them well."

"No ones going to treat them well just because they're not slaves anymore."

"Okay I kind of get what you're saying now." I fell back against the bed, sighing. "I just want peace, is that so much to ask for?"

When Reaver didn't say anything after a few minutes, I looked over at him.

He was staring at me, I couldn't tell exactly what he was looking at but it wasn't my face.

"Reaver?"

His eyes met mine. "Yes?"

"You were quite for a long time."

"Oh, yes I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing of importance." He stood up. "I suppose I should let you get your rest."

"You can stay if you want, it's not like you're bothering me."

He smiled. "No, that's okay. You should rest. I hope you feel better."

"Thanks, me too."

He walked out of the room and once the door shut I reached over and grabbed another pill.

How many of these are too much?

I swallowed it with a drink of stale water I had in here a few nights ago.

I don't see why this damned medicine isn't working, it should at least ease the pain somewhat just a tiny bit is all I'm asking for.

I slid off the bed and pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants, walking to my door.

I opened it, stepping out I stopped just over the threshold.

Corey was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall by the door.

He looked up at me and quickly stood up.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

"I was cleaning." He replied. "...The floor."

"While sitting?"

"I was taking a break at that moment."

I nodded, not believing him. "Okay."

"So...what are you doing?"

"I was on my way downstairs to the kitchen, to look for a different kind of medicine." I explained, walking past him.

He stepped in front of me, blocking my way. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No, I just want medication."

"You have to have a reason. Do you still have that headache?"

"Yeah, except it's moved to the rest of my body." I moved past him, walking towards the stairs.

He moved in my way once again, blocking the stairs. "I think you should go to a doctor."

"No."

"Why not? Do you hate doctors? You know they are a valuable asset to society."

"Never said they weren't, Corey."

A look passed over his face I didn't quite understand.

I took his momentary distraction to stroll past him, downstairs.

He followed me though, not that I didn't expect him to.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad do you feel?" He asked me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Eight- no seven." I replied.

"Which is it?"

"Six."

I rifled through the cabinet getting out a bottle of Aleve.

"So what would it take for me to get you to go to the doctors?"

I turned around, opening the bottle and glancing at him. "I don't know."

"You know they can give you medicine for the pain; good medicine."

I wavered slightly; that did sound good.

I shook my head, shaking out a pill into my hand.

"How much of those have you taken?" Corey asked.

"This is my first one."

"Of any kind?"

"Well," I paused. "No."

"That's what I thought. If the others didn't work, those aren't going to either."

I shrugged, putting the pill into my mouth and swallowing without water.

"You know if you won't go to the doctors willingly I'll get you there somehow."

I shook my head in disagreement.

"Can I make you something to eat then?"

I shook my head again, going to lean against the island.

"When's the last time you ate? Hasn't it been almost 24 hours?"

I shrugged.

"Well then you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry." I stated.

"At least try."

I deliberated for a moment. "Fine."

He smiled.

Why were his smiles so amazing?

It's irritating.

"So what do you want?" He inquired, placing his hands on either sides of me and leaning close, his palms resting against the edge of the island counter.

God how I loved being close to him, it sent that little electric thrill through me.

"You." I said.

He did that cute little thing where he breathed a laugh and put his head down, looking at the floor.

I bit my lip, trying to hide my smile. I bet he was blushing.

That was one of the benefits of him drinking blood so often; he could blush.

He looked back at me; his pale cheeks had a slight pink tint to them. "I don't think that's on the menu, you'll have to choose something else."

"Well then you can make whatever you want, I don't care."

He breathed a laugh. "Okay."

He pushed away from the counter, standing up straight.

He put a hand on his neck. "You know what I was just thinking about?"

"Nope, what were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about before we got together and how weird it is to think that we were because back then I would have never ever imagined that we would've gotten together."

"So you're saying it's weird that we got together?"

"Well kind of. I'm just saying looking back on how I thought back then I would have never thought that we would end up together, even as friends."

"But we're not together..."

"But we were for short time."

"Okay, so why we're on the subject and you seem to be in a somewhat good mood to talk about these things-"

Corey interjected. "Where are you going with this?"

"You wanna tell me why you broke up with me?

"I don't know...it doesn't really make sense when I say it out loud." He said hesitantly.

"Just try." I insisted.

He sighed. "Fine. Well you know how I was saying that before we got together I would've never thought that we would end up together?"

I nodded. "You just said it."

"Well I was just- don't say any comments."

"Fine just continue." I prompted.

"I am. Okay so, I don't think that we would end up together."

"Continue..."

"That's it. Well I mean I just think that something would happen, I didn't want to get married to you because I just don't want us to end up...hating each other."

"Well too late for that..."

He ignored my comment. "I'm stupid and I fuck things up. You have witnessed this first hand. It's like I want to ruin anything that makes me happy because I don't think I can be happy. Ugh, this makes no sense. I'm going to start cooking now." He turned to the fridge.

"Why did you tell me you loved me in the first place? You could have known something would come out of it."

"No. I didn't think you loved me." He stated, cracking eggs into a bowl.

"Then why'd you say it?"

"Because I just felt like I had to."

I walked over beside him and sat down on the small part of the counter by the stove.

"I'm surprised you said it then if you thought that I didn't love you as well, what was the point?"

"I thought you should know how I felt."

He stretched across me, opening the cabinet on the other side.

My eyes wandered over him for a moment before I looked at his eyes.

He grinned at me and I looked away, trying not to smile.

He got what he was looking for in the cabinet and went back to fixing my breakfast.

"You know you're right." He said randomly.

"I am." I nodded. "About what?"

He smiled. "About me being paranoid."

"I told you. So how did you figure it out?"

"I've always wondered if you never actually liked me and you were just using me to get control over the vampire species and you had like this master plan that involved using me to gain the trust of all the vampires and then destroying them all."

I smiled and he put a hand over my mouth. "Don't laugh I know it's stupid."

I held back the urge to laugh and nodded.

He took his hand away. "So did you miss me last night? That was our first night apart since I first got here."

"No I slept the whole time." I stated simply.

"Oh did you at least miss me when you woke up?"

"Um, not really I was kind of distracted so that must have been why."

"What were you distracted by?"

"Uh...nothing."

He glanced over at me. "It's obviously something you just don't want to tell me."

"Damn, you're right."

"So why don't you want to tell me? Is it something bad?"

"Um well, I didn't necessarily think it was bad." I shrugged lightly.

"That doesn't mean it wasn't. Tell me."

"No, it's not important anyways just this dream I had."

"Another nightmare?" He questioned.

"No."

"Then what was it? A sex dream?" He asked jokingly.

I bit my lower lip.

"Oh my god it was. You actually have dreams like that? I was beginning to think you were a saint. So tell me about it."

"No." I shook my head.

"But you can tell me anything. In fact I want you to tell me everything and anything."

"I don't want to. If the dream had been involving you then-" I cut off, thinking I'd said too much.

"You...You had a sex dream that wasn't involving me?

"Uh...yes." I replied cautiously.

"Then who was it?"

I stayed silent. He already didn't like Reaver as it was and he might end up getting mad.

"Tell me. It's not like I'm going to be mad." He said. His attention on what he was making.

"Fine. It was Reaver."

"You had a dream about having sex with him?" He put quite a bit of emphasis on "him".

"Yes."

I saw his hand clench into a fist.

I knew he was going to be mad.

"You like him?" He asked like he already knew the answer.

"No." I said quickly.

"Why are you lying?"

"I..." I took in a deep breath. "I don't know."

"Why do you like him? Why would you like anyone that's not me?"

"I don't even know why I like him and I'm not sure how to answer the last question."

He took a step back, his eyes stationed on the floor. "Can I kill him?"

"No." I replied. "I knew you were going to be mad that's why I didn't want to tell you."

"Well how would you feel if I liked someone else?"

"I would be...upset. But you did break up with me."

His eyes flashed to me. He was getting ready to say something but Reaver walked into the room.

Corey looked at him, his expression giving away just how much he didn't like him.

Reaver smiled politely even though Corey's expression was anything but nice.

Reaver handed me an orange bottle of pills. "This should help with the pain."

I took it from him. "Oh, thanks." I smiled softly.

He smiled. "You're welcome."

He walked back out of the room and Corey and I looked at each other.

"I really don't like him." Corey stated. "But apparently you do." His voice was thick with bitter sarcasm.

I felt a twinge of guilt.

How could I like someone that wasn't him?

When I thought about it didn't really make sense; it didn't connect.

I would never like someone that wasn't Corey because they just weren't Corey.

I haven't even thought about anyone else in that way since the first day I met him.

"You're not actually going to take those are you?" He questioned.

"Oh no I am." I responded, looking at the bottle.

He took the bottle from my hand and examined it. "How did he get Morphine? This stuff is strong. You're not taking it."

"How do you know this?" I questioned skeptically

"You're talking to an ex-druggie. I know quite a bit about pain killers."

"I'm not surprised. But why can't I take it?"

"Because it's very strong, you could have side-effects especially since you're not use to taking it or anything like it. Plus...he could have done something to it."

"Paranoid." I sang.

"And I admit it but please amuse my paranoia and don't take it."

"Fine but then what do I do about the pain? It's so irritating."

"I'll take you to the doctor."

I sighed. "Okay."

He took my hand and helped me down from the counter.

"I'm driving right?" He asked, putting the bottle of pills in his pocket.

I hugged my knees; resting my chin on them.

The sun had hurt my eyes terribly when I walked outside to get in the car.

It made me feel uncomfortable to say the least but I didn't say anything about.

Corey drive with one hand on the steering wheel; his elbow rested on the windowsill as he used his hand to rest his head on.

The seatbelt made my position feel awkward but never-mind that I liked sitting like this.

The guilt ate at me as the more time passed; why did I feel so bad about liking Reaver?

I just couldn't get it off my mind. I kept thinking: why do I like him?

I didn't want to like him I only wanted to like Corey because he was-whether we're together or not- the love of my life. Or my soul-mate if you believe in that kind of stuff. I wasn't sure if I did or not.

Maybe I didn't like Reaver and I just thought I did.

For lack of a better word and that's my best excuse.

Either way I wouldn't do anything about it. I don't want to be with Reaver, I want to be with Corey.

"Hey Corey?" I spoke, breaking the silence of the car ride.

He glanced at me for a second. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if we were together when you found out I liked Reaver would you have reacted the same way?"

He sat up straight, his hand leaving his head and going to the windowsill.

"I would have freaked out more. I think I am melodramatic."

"So you're not as upset as you would've been?"

"No I am I'm just not showing it because...well we're not together so I don't really have the right to be that upset."

"So are you mad at me or just mad in general?"

"Both and I'm not just mad I'm...nevermind."

"No finish what you we're going to say." I encouraged.

"I was going to say sad I guess. I just never expected you to like someone else and now that you do it makes me sad, it hurts." He went back to resting his head on his hand, looking depressed.