The team and I stand in the tunnel waiting to be announced into the game. The day has finally come. We haven't played a football game in almost a month and we're back. This is the game we have to win to get where we've been wanting to go all year long.

The National Championship game.

USC is a tough team, but I think we're tougher. I think we can win this thing.

"I love you, brother." I turn my head and Cgc stands next to me, his arm wrapped around my waist. He's my best friend, my teammate, and my co-captain. We could never stay mad at each other even if we had a real reason to. "I love you, too," I tell him and I mean it. He's one of the very few people who I truly love. "We got this!" He yells over the loud crowd. The adrenaline rushes through my body. The crowd is very loud. I'm used to it already. We've been here last year. Only last year, we weren't possibly headed for the National Championship game.

"Let's do it," I tell him. The announcer announces our team and Cgc and I rush out with our team behind us. The crowd is extra loud once we step out onto the actual field. I hug Rhys, Max, DJ, all my boys. "Hey!" I turn at Xander's voice. He runs up to me and hits his helmet against mine. "I love you, stud," He tells me. I smile because fuck, I love him too. More than he even knows. "I love you more, baby," I smirk. He hits his helmet against mine again and then runs off finding Cgc.

Coach Smith approaches me, "Can you hear me?" He asks. I take a couple of steps back away from him and point to my ear. He covers his mouth, "You hear me, Valdez?" His voice fills my ear through the ear piece I wear. I give him a thumbs up. "Got you, Coach." He nods his head at me before shifting his attention to DJ. Special teams heads out towards the field for kickoff.

It's now or never.

+

Cgc throws his helmet on the floor. I don't fucking blame him. Offense is doing terrible. Defense has been carrying this game on our backs. I caught two picks already. I'm shocking myself honestly. I thought their offense was going to be harder to cover, but they're playing like shit. From the two picks I've caught, none of them have been touchdowns. After giving the ball back to the offense twice, they haven't done anything with the opportunity.

The score right now at halftime is 0-7. We're losing.

I sit down in the locker, catching my breath. I'm as pissed as everyone else. Coach Carter has yet to enter the locker room but I'm sure he's going to rip our assholes a new one once he's in here. "The games not fucking over yet! Stop moping around like little bitches," I yell. I get up from the locker and lean against it instead. None of my teammates say anything back, but no one's said anything since we stepped inside.

I close my eyes, but it's interrupted by the door slamming. That's Coach. Here we go.

+

I get up from the bench as the offense comes back out onto the sideline. My best friend gets congratulated by a couple of guys and coaches on his way over to me. I smack his helmet and pull him in for a hug. "Fuck yeah," I say. He pulls off his helmet and laughs, "I'm fucking exhausted." He groans, sitting down on the metal bench. Xander just scored a touchdown.

The score is 7-14. We're in the lead for the first time tonight.

"I'll see you in a bit," I smack his chest and then rush over to the sideline, preparing to go in. Once the special teams runs off the field, we run on. The guys huddle around me as USC's offense does the same. "Marshall stay the fuck on number 83, we can't let these guys score again, alright? Offense is already struggling as it is. Don't run a blitz yet either." The guys nod and we clap once before getting into position.

I get back, staying close to Jayden and his receiver as I might need to help him double team the guy. This guys been the quarterbacks target all night. I see one of the guys shift behind the quarterback. "Shift, stay still," I yell. No one moves until the ball is snapped. I run past the linemen and luckily, I remembered this play from watching their film for weeks. The quarterback throws the ball to the running back, but I'm right there to stop him. He only picks up a yard.

My teammates cheer on the sideline and my fellow defense, give me good jobs as we set up for another play. "Keep going," I tell them. "Don't run fucking blitz, they know when it's coming. If you can get to the quarterback somehow, then do it. But don't fucking blitz. This guy knows how to throw the ball when we don't expect it," I clap once and the guys follow after me. We get into position.

"Shit, shit." I start running after 83. I specifically told Marshall not to let this fucker out of his sight. He's running down the sideline and his quarterback just threw to him because he's wide open. He already has 15 yards on me when he catches the ball. I race after him, but I can't catch up to him. He runs in for a touchdown. "Fuck," I yell, out of breath almost. I run off the field immediately.

Coaches slap my helmet and pats my back as I walk by, but I ignore them. If offense can't do shit, we have to stop those guys from scoring. "Hey, cap don't worry, I got this," Xander says passing by me quickly. He heads onto the field with the rest of the offense. I take off my helmet and throw it aside. "Where the fuck is Marshall?" I ask DJ. "Coach Carter's talking to him," He replies. I nod and then pick up a tablet to rewatch the play again.

Fucking hell. I don't even know why I wasted my breath trying to catch up to 83. He's one of the best receivers right now, definitely getting drafted in the first round this coming year. "I fucking know cap, you don't have to fucking yell at me. I fucked up," Marshall says, walking over to the bench and dropping more f bombs in one sentence than I ever have. He sits down next to me and I roll my eyes. "I told you to stay on that motherfucker," I say calmly, surprisingly. "I fucking know. I will," He says, drinking some water from a Gatorade squirt bottle.

"Don't worry about the running backs or catching a pick. If the opportunity is there then fucking take it, but if it's not, cover your fucking receiver," I tell him. He nods and takes the tablet from me to rewatch the play. I didn't fuck up the play, so I let him watch.

I try to catch a peak of what's going on on the field, but guys tower alongside the sideline so I can't see shit. I look up at huge screens that hang from the stadium and watch there instead. I forget we're not playing in California. We're currently in Miami, Florida. All the way across the country for a fucking game we better win.

Cgc hesitates for a second and a linebacker starts running towards him. I stand up out of anxiety. Cgc throws the ball, but his arm gets cut short by the tackle. I follow the ball and it flies right into the arms of a defender. "Fuck," I yell. He starts running into the end zone and he ends up scores a touchdown. The crowd is booing and cheering at the same time.

I look at the clock and my heart drops to my stomach. One thing I hate doing? Looking at how much time we have left. It's something I never do. I just keep playing. This time, I do look. 34 seconds left until the game ends. Unless a miracle gets cast upon us, our season is over. I sit back down and our sideline begins to get quiet. We fucking lost.

+

Maybe it was a bad idea to come out tonight. Everywhere we go, there's swarms of USC fans, cheering for their victory. Luckily, we're not walking around wearing anything that says "we're the losers". Still, it kind of feels like we are. Every time we see a USC fan, I get the urge to punch them in the face. That's just because I'm an asshole. I'm shocked we were able to get Cgc out though. I think he just wants to get drunk and forget about everything about tonight.

He keeps blaming himself for losing the game. Even if he did throw that interception, it's not his fault. It's all of our faults for not putting in the extra effort to win tonight. We for sure thought we'd be playing in that National Championship game only for our dreams to be crushed play by play. We're all upset tonight, but we're in Miami for the night and it's New Years Eve. Might as well fucking enjoy it.

We bought drinks at the liquor store and now we're currently sitting at Miami Beach. Everyone's doing their own thing tonight. Hopefully responsibly and safely. My roommates, DJ, Max, Marshall, Novalee and her girls, and I all sit in a circle with plastic cups and some shot glasses. We just poured up the first one of the night.

Cgc raises his shot, "To losing the Orange Bowl," He says. "No!" Maddy says and lowers his arm. She throws out his shot. "What the hell? You wasted a perfectly good shot," He says. "We're not cheering to being losers, Cgc." She rolls her eyes and picks up the bottle to pour him another. Maddy lifts her shot glass and everyone follows. "To a hopefully happy new year with amazing parties, sex, football, and just life in general." She smiles and downs her shot. We all do. "I'll fucking take it," Rhys says, downing his last. His face contorts. "Goddamn, hand me a beer," He says afterwards.

DJ laughs and throws him a closer Budlight. He opens it quickly and takes a large swig.

A couple of hours later and we're all kind of shitfaced. Luckily the hotel is a short walk home so we don't have to worry about driving. "Before the start of the official new year, I want to say something," I stumble on my words. I would stand up but I'd probably fall on my ass. Everyone stops what they're doing and looks towards me. I smile, "I think I want to enjoy one last ride with my boys so," I raise my beer can "to winning that National fucking Championship in 2022!" I say.

Novalee smiles and all the guys get up and tackle me with a hug. Holy shit, I might throw up on them. I push them away, "Chill. I love you guys but fuck off or I'll throw up on you." All the guys laugh and sit back down on the sandy beach. Xander stays next to me, as he already was. He leans into me, "One last fucking ride, Valdez?" He holds out his beer close to mine.

"One last ride, baby." We both smile and clink our beers together before taking long swigs. I turn to Novalee who's eyes are glossy. I'm definitely drunker than her but she's got a buzz going on. I wrap my arm around her waist and she looks up at me. She smiles and boops my nose with her finger. "I'm so proud of you," She says. I didn't even realize until now that those five words, I needed to hear. Only from her.

"One more minute!" Maddy exclaims. I pull out my phone. 11:59 p.m. I never thought I'd be spending the last day of 2020 with Novalee. I never thought I'd spend another day with her actually. Even on one of the hardest days of my life, all my worries seem to be thrown out of the window when I see her, here, next to me.

I stand up, stumbling on my feet just a little. She laughs and I hold my hand out to pull her up. She grabs it and pulls herself off the floor. She wipes the sand of her ass before wrapping her arms around my neck. I kiss her lips teasingly before pulling away. "I love you," I tell her. She kisses me again. "I love you, too,"

"Happy New Years!" Everyone but us shouts at the same time. Fireworks fill the sky, my friends are all here together, and I'm with the girl that I love more than anything in this goddamn world. Even though we lost tonight, my life couldn't get any better. I smile at her, "To firsts and lasts, Novalee Johänson," I say. She crinkles her forehead, but that smile hasn't left her lips. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asks me.

"You were my first love, my first time," I wink "and now you'll be my last love and my last everything else." Her smile grows one thousand times bigger.

"Promise?"

"Promise."