《What The Heart Craves》Chapter 10 - Part 2
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"It's a brain tumor."
And there is it was. Out in the world, no longer my secret. For a moment I saw my fears reflected in the depths of his eyes; loss and death.
His hands touched my arms. I waited for him to say something, anything.
"Is it operable?" he asked calmly, but I could hear a slight hoarseness that revealed more.
A lot of my appointment with the specialist was still hazy. It was hard to remember much after the words 'brain tumor'. After a few moments, I remembered some other things the doctor had told me.
"He needs to run more scans to see if he can remove it."
I didn't want to think of what could happen if he couldn't. Adonis pulled me into his arms again and hugged me tighter, like he didn't want to let me go and I didn't want to be anywhere else.
It was minutes before he pulled away from me.
"We need to go inside," he said.
I hesitated, but when he led me from the darkness of the night into my well-lit bedroom, I didn't stop him. He held my hand as we descended the stairs.
"Did you call Reece again?" My mom asked someone anxiously, I could hear the stress and panic in her voice. I felt a pang of guilt that I caused it.
I hesitated in the doorway, savoring that no one yet knew how much our lives were going to change once I told them my news. Adonis squeezed my hand gently, like he was telling me he was there to help. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen just behind him.
"Lacey!" my mom said as she rushed to me. I let go of Adonis' hand as my mother hugged me hard.
Then she pulled away. Her expression was thunderous. "Where have you been? You can't just go off and not tell anyone where you are?"
My father replaced the phone on the receiver.
"How could you be so thoughtless?" Alex's tone cut across my mom's, and the anger in his voice surprised me. I'd expected my parent's anger, not my brother's. When I entered, he had been sitting at the kitchen table, but he'd moved to stand beside my mom. He looked like he wanted to wring my neck, but he kept his arms crossed across his chest.
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"Cool it," Adonis told Alex. My brother glared at his friend.
Adonis shook his head. "You need to hear her out."
My father moved to stand on the other side of my mother.
Adonis gave me an encouraging look as he stood beside me. He reached for my hand and held it in his.
"I went to the doctor," I admitted quietly. I'd taken the news badly, and I wondered how they were going to take it.
"Why?" my mom asked, confused.
I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously while I tried to find the right words to shatter their world.
"You were right, mom," I said to her as she watched me. "The migraines were getting worse, and I developed other symptoms. There was the fainting and my vision blurred."
My mom remained still, and I saw my father reach for her hand. They knew whatever I was going to tell them wasn't good. They gravitated closer. It was so quiet, like the calm before the storm.
"I didn't want to worry anyone until I knew that there was something... wrong. First, I went to a doctor, and he referred me to a neurologist." I paused. "I went to the specialist a couple of days ago for some test and today I received the results."
My mom raised her hand to her chest and when I saw the fear enter her eyes, I wavered for just a split second. My father was rigid, and Alex blinked. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the emotion under control. Adonis squeezed my hand, and I looked to him.
"Tell them," he instructed gently, and I swallowed.
"He saw something..." I explained as I bit back the tears. "I have a... brain tumor."
My mom's hands flew to her mouth as the news hit her and my father put an arm around her. Then she broke free to envelop me. "My baby," she whispered.
Her reaction brought a whole new wave of tears and I let go of Adonis' hand to hug her back. She cried and so did I. My father embraced both of us.
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It was emotional. When my mom and I stopped crying, my father released us and Adonis led me to the chair. I sank down, feeling overwhelmed with so much emotion I didn't know how to deal with.
"I need to make some calls," Adonis said before he left the kitchen. Who on earth did he need to call at this time of night when I felt like my world was falling apart? I needed him.
I rubbed my forehead, feeling a familiar throb of an oncoming migraine. It was the stress of the day that had finally caught up with me.
Alex sat down in the chair beside me as my parents talked in hushed tones nearby. We didn't exchange any words we didn't need to. I saw the look in his eyes as his hand covered mine and gave it a squeeze; he shared my fear.
"You'll be fine," he soothed, and I gave him a weak smile. There was that saying mind over matter. Maybe if I got told that enough, or even told myself that enough times, it would work and I would be fine. But I wasn't an optimist. I was one of those people that looked at half a glass of water and considered it half empty.
A little later Adonis walked back in, shoving his phone back in the front pocket of his jeans.
"I made a couple of calls and I got an appointment for the top neurologist for tomorrow afternoon," he said.
"Thank you," my mom said, hugging him, and when she released him, my father shook his hand.
"It's no problem," he assured them. He looked to me.
"How did you get an appointment so fast?" I asked, knowing how long it had taken to get the specialist's appointment, and I could only imagine how difficult it would have been to get an appointment with the top neurologist in the country.
"I pulled some strings," he said, brushing my question aside.
I could have argued, but I didn't. Instead I said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he said, holding my gaze. His eyes softened, and I felt my stomach flutter to life despite the seriousness of my situation.
My mom made everyone something to drink as we all sat down at the kitchen table. Keeping busy helped her deal and kept her mind busy. It was a somber atmosphere; it hung in the air over us.
I held my glass of juice in my hands, twirling the juice and trying not to think about things. There were so many possibilities of how this would work out, and I couldn't contemplate any that didn't end with me surviving.
I yawned. All that happened had caught up to me, and I felt exhausted. And I realized the headache I had been developing earlier had eased.
"You're tired," my mom said. "You need to get some sleep."
"I'll see if I can find something to help you sleep," my mom said as if she'd just read my mind and left the kitchen.
I wasn't sure I could sleep, but I had to try. When I stood, I felt Adonis' hand on my wrist.
"I need to talk to you tomorrow morning," he said, and I gave him a questioning look.
"Why not talk to me now?" I said.
"It can wait until you've slept," he said cryptically.
I nodded. Once my mother had given me something to help me sleep, I lay tucked in my bed wondering what Adonis wanted to talk to me about.
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